He sat back, resting his hands on his jeans. “About yesterday…”
“I believe you made your thoughts clear.”
“I was shocked.”
“Clearly.” Nell dropped the rattle and Avery picked it up, dusted it off and gave it back to her.
“Wouldn’t you be?” he asked quietly. “If someone showed up on your doorstep with news like that?”
“So you no longer think I’m a con artist out to scam you?”
“I never called you that.”
She looked him square in the eye. “You thought it.”
He looked away first this time. “Yes, I did.”
Last night she’d had time to consider his response. Yes, he’d been rude and boorish but she put herself in his shoes and understood the skepticism. Then she’d spent too much time wondering at the change in him. The man she remembered had been friendly and fun, though at times he’d stood away from the others, looking lonely. But he’d been impeccably groomed with not a hair out of place, and he’d lit up when Crystal walked into a room…
“Look, Miss Spencer…Avery.” He, too, dropped the formality and it did something funny to her insides, hearing him say her name like that.
He sighed. “Why did you come? What did you expect me to say?” He paused. “How did you really see all this playing out?”
“Which question do you want me to answer first?”
“Whatever explains it best,” he replied.
She waited for a couple of ladies to pass by. They paused and smiled down at Nell—she really was an angel—before carrying on their way.
“I meant what I said about you having a right to know,” she began, fighting to keep her voice even. “And Nell has a right to know about you, too. But I also meant what I said about not wanting anything from you. I didn’t come here looking for money or…material support. Crystal gave me guardianship of Nell and we have a good home together. It’s not big but it’s comfortable and cozy. I love her as my own. I want to watch her grow up and when she’s old enough I want to be able to tell her the truth about her parents.”
“You mean like how she has a dad who couldn’t be bothered with her?”
Avery’s gaze snapped to him in surprise. Damn him, she still couldn’t read his expression. Was he saying he believed Nell was his now? Or merely speaking in generalities? She took her time coming up with a response. After all, she didn’t want to antagonize him. She was walking a precarious line.
“That would rather be up to you,” she said softly. “But perhaps more accurate would be a dad who cared enough to see she was brought up in a home where she was wanted and loved.”
“You want me to give up my rights.”
She could feel his eyes on her, penetrating like they were boring a hole right into her skull. “Do I want to legally adopt her? Of course. This isn’t about denying you anything, Callum. It’s about a secure future for Nell.” She made herself face him. “Just yesterday you were certain you didn’t have any rights. Have you changed your mind?”
His eyes were dark and rich, like the deepest espresso she used in her mocha fudge recipe. They were the kind of eyes that a woman could get lost in if she let herself. The kind that held dark secrets. A man like Callum Shepard was a broody, wounded warrior that a lot of women would see as a personal challenge. The kind that would make a woman want to be the one to break down the walls and get to the man underneath.
Assuming, of course, they didn’t get their hearts broken first. Avery certainly couldn’t afford a challenge like that. That sort of thinking almost always ended in disaster. She’d seen way too many relationships fail because one of the people involved felt they could “fix” the other. She liked to think she was smarter than that.
“Her hair,” he said softly, but the built-in roughness to his voice made it sound deep and husky and sent delicious tingles along the back of her neck.
“What about it?”
“It’s dark and curly. Like mine.”
Her lips dropped open. “Seriously? That’s what convinced you? I’m a liar but the hair doesn’t lie?”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “You’re insulted. Not as much fun to be on the other side of judgment, Miss Spencer?”
Nell began to fuss, brilliant timing as it saved her from answering. Avery made herself busy by unclipping the T-strap securing the baby and then lifted her out, put her on her knee and held her snugly while her free hand straightened the frilly dress, smoothing it over white bottoms that covered her diaper in a profusion of ruffles. Content to be cuddled, Nell shoved her fist in her mouth and gnawed on it happily.
“I’m going to suggest something and I don’t want you to get offended again.” Callum leaned back, resting against the bench.
“I can’t promise that,” she responded. “But let’s hear it anyway.”
“I’d like a paternity test.”
The words made it sound all so real, which was ridiculous because Avery knew she wouldn’t have come all this way if it weren’t real to begin with. Last night she’d been angry but strangely relieved that he’d wanted nothing to do with Nell. How terrible did that make her? She was well aware that the feelings of relief were based on what was best for her and not best for Nell. She would have given anything to have known her father as she was growing up. How could she be relieved that Nell wouldn’t have that, either? It was beyond selfish.
A paternity test would prove that Nell was his. Then how far would he push things? Would he demand custody? Parental rights, certainly…
“You still don’t believe me,” she answered shakily.
He sat up and leaned toward her a little. “Look, it’s not personal. It wouldn’t matter who was sitting here right now, I would still have my doubts. I would still want concrete proof. I don’t take anyone at their word, okay? Words change. Proof? That doesn’t change.”
“And when you have that proof? What then?”
“I don’t know. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
He could have the power to take Nell away. Avery had been well aware of it before she’d even set out on this trip. It was why she’d put it off for so long. She just hadn’t been able to make herself do it, to plant the seeds of her own destruction. Because losing Nell would destroy her.
Nell was the only family Avery had left. Years ago she’d still had her mother, but Laura had moved to Vancouver and rarely ever contacted the two girls, she was so involved in her own life. They’d been abandoned not only by one parent, but by both. With Crystal gone, there was no one. Except Nell—Avery’s reason for getting up in the morning—and usually several times during the night, too. Especially lately. “She’s all I’ve got,” she whispered.
Maybe she shouldn’t have come. Maybe she should have just let it lie. Just her luck she had an overactive conscience.
“Relax,” he said. “You saw my place. Do I look like the kind of guy prepared for full-time fatherhood? What would I do with a baby and a farm to run?”
He leaned forward, close enough that she could see the fine lines in the corners of his eyes, and how his dark brown irises had tiny flecks of gold close to the pupil.
“I have no intention of taking her away from you,” he said with surprising gentleness. “If that’s what’s worrying you.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she blinked them away. “But you still want proof,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I need proof.”
“I fly back to Ontario tomorrow.”
“Surely you can change your flight.”
Of course she could. But it wasn’t as easy as all that. “I do have a job, you know. I took a week off, but I have to be back…”
“A few days,” he suggested. “Enough time to set up the test and have it done. You don’t even have to stay and wait for the results. Once they’re in, we can discuss things over the phone.”
She looked down at Nell, whose attention was focused on a bright blue button. Her chubby fingers pulled and played with it, and A
very bounced her knee a little bit, making the baby look up and giggle with a toothless grin. She could afford a few days but that was all. When she wasn’t working she wasn’t earning money, and there were two of them to support now.
Besides, she didn’t want to play difficult. It was a simple and logical request considering the circumstances. If she refused, he could get nasty about it and have a court-ordered test if he wanted to, because whether or not he wanted to be a dad, for some reason he really wanted to know definitively one way or the other.
“A few days, but that’s all. We can stay here at the B&B. I’ll leave the arrangements for the test up to you, though. I’ve never done this before. I’m guessing you’ll have to contact your local doctor and set something up.”
“It’s not something I have experience in, either,” he pointed out. “But I’ll look after it. Give me your cell number so I can call you about the arrangements.”
She reached into her purse and took out a business card, flipped it over and wrote her number on the back. Nell grabbed at the pen, but Avery diverted her hand and reached into the diaper bag at her feet instead, and pulled out a teething ring. “Here, sweet pea. This is better for you to chew on than a pen.”
She gave him the card and he flipped it over. “The Icing on Top?” he asked.
“I’m a baker,” she replied. “I decorate cakes. Mostly cupcakes.”
“Cupcakes,” he repeated, making it sound as if it were the silliest job in the world.
Despite the improved tone to today’s meeting, it was clear to Avery that Callum had very little respect for her. It began with his skeptical attitude and continued with the assumption she could simply change her schedule to suit him and the dismissive tone when he asked about her job. She needed to be careful not to antagonize him, but she wasn’t going to go along with absolutely everything just because he suggested it.
She checked her watch. It was getting close to noon, and well-behaved as she was, Nell was going to start getting hungry soon. Avery knew from experience that leaving it too long would send the baby into full-on meltdown. “Is there a restaurant nearby? Somewhere that we can sit down, where they’d heat a bottle for me?”
He shrugged. “The Wagon Wheel diner is around the corner. It’s a run-of-the-mill family place, but the food’s good.”
“She’s going to be hungry soon. I’d rather stay a step ahead than deal with a cranky baby.” Politeness seemed to demand that she ask. “Would you care to join us, Callum?”
He stepped back. “Thanks, but I don’t think so. I like to keep to myself. And showing up with you and the baby…This is a small town. The gossip mill would be running before we’d even ordered.”
The rebuff felt like a slap. He couldn’t even call Nell by her name, instead referring to her as “the baby.” And he didn’t want to be seen in public with Avery—not for this conversation and certainly not sharing a meal. She shoved the pen and teething ring into her purse and made short work of strapping Nell back into the stroller. She stood and put her hands on the handles. “We won’t keep you, then.”
“Yes, I need to get back. Work to be done.”
His precious work. Of course.
“Call me when you have an appointment time.” She lifted her chin. “If you could do that right away, I’d appreciate it. I do have to adjust my travel plans.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He turned and walked away from her. She watched him go, the way his long stride ate up the ground and the pockets of his faded jeans shifted with the movement.
The man she remembered from the wedding had been tall and smiling, purposeful but with an easiness about him—like he might actually know how to let loose and have fun. What had happened to cause such a difference in him in such a short time? Because this version of Callum Shepard was abrasive, grouchy and had a very large stick up his posterior.
Except there’d been the gentle way he’d said he didn’t want to take Nell away from her. Like he understood.
And the way he insisted on proof as if he’d been lied to before.
Nell started to cry and Avery turned away from the sight of Callum walking away. Callum’s reasons didn’t matter. She’d go through the formality of a test for his peace of mind and then she’d go back to Ontario and get on with raising Nell.
The movement of the stroller on the sidewalk temporarily soothed the baby as they headed in the direction of the diner. She had to remember one important fact when it came to Callum. He’d had a fling with her sister when they’d barely known each other. And never, in either of their meetings, had he asked what had happened to Crystal, how she’d died.
What kind of guy did that?
She didn’t like the answer.
CHAPTER THREE
CALLUM HUNG UP the phone and sat at the kitchen table for a moment, trying to make sense of his thoughts. Avery hadn’t answered her cell, so he’d left a voice mail giving her the time of the doctor’s appointment. It would take a day or two to get the test in, so he hadn’t been able to get an appointment until midmorning on Friday. Avery probably wasn’t going to be happy about that, but it was out of his hands.
If she could just understand his reasons for asking for it in the first place…
But she didn’t nor would she. There was no sense bringing up the past when it couldn’t be changed. He’d learned his lesson and was smart enough not to get caught in the same trap ever again.
Now he’d lost the better part of the day. He’d planned to put the cows in the west pasture until milking time and it hadn’t happened. Then there was the load of hay he’d bought from the Diamond brothers over at Diamondback Ranch. It needed picking up.
Not to mention the fact that he ignored the house most of the time. He’d put on his last pair of jeans this morning and had thrown a load of laundry in the machine out of pure necessity. He knew the place looked bad. It hadn’t taken Avery’s turned-up nose yesterday to tell him that.
He’d probably been foolish to buy this place. He should have taken a job instead of trying to run everything solo. It was just…the idea of taking orders from someone again was so repulsive that he couldn’t see himself doing it. And he’d chosen the farm because the most uncomplicated time in his life for as far back as he could remember had been working summers on his uncle’s farm on the lower mainland. Nothing had been complicated when he’d been cutting hay or feeding calves or laughing—a lot.
It was the laughter he missed the most.
He knew everyone in Cadence Creek thought he was plumb crazy for wanting to raise dairy cows in the heart of beef country. Maybe he was. But for him the only real cow was a Holstein, and it made him happy. Five o’clock in the morning came early, but the time he spent in the milking parlor with the radio on was the best part of his day. Calm, quiet. Just him, the cows and country music.
And when George Grant had decided to retire and sell off his quota, it had seemed like the perfect opportunity.
Callum pushed away from the table and took his plate to the sink. It was full with dirty dishes. God, what a disaster. He had to do something, especially if Avery Spencer came around again.
He picked up the phone and dialed the only person he’d trusted since moving to the area: Tyson Diamond. Ty and his brother Sam ran the biggest ranch around but you’d never know it. Friendly, down-to-earth and always ready to offer advice or a willing hand, the brothers had eased Callum’s way as he’d taken over Grant’s farm. And neither of them had asked too many questions, either.
Ty answered on the first ring. “Tyson Diamond.”
“Ty, it’s Callum.”
“Hey, brother.” Callum suppressed a smile; Ty had an easy-going way about him that his older brother, Sam, didn’t and it showed, even in the simple greeting. There was a scuffling noise and then the sound cleared. “What can I do for you?”
“I need your advice. Or maybe your wife’s advice.”
“Clara? She’s up at the house. I can get her to call you. What’s it a
bout?”
“I need a hand and thought she could recommend someone.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I need someone to help me clean out this pigsty. I can’t afford anyone really expensive…”
Ty’s laugh came over the line. “You’re calling for a maid.”
“Just temporarily. To help me get caught up.”
“You should talk to Angela. She might have someone at the women’s shelter who’s looking for a job or even just a few extra hours somewhere. If that’d be okay, I’ll pass the info along.”
“That’d be fine. And the sooner the better.”
“Any particular reason?”
He thought of Avery looking down her nose at the state of his living room, then pictured her clear blue eyes as they’d stared into his this morning. “Uh, not really. Just needs to be done, and I don’t have the time to do it.”
“Nothing to do with the woman you were seen with in town this morning, then?”
This was exactly why he’d wanted to talk privately instead of on a bench in the middle of Main Street. “Honestly, you’re a worse gossip than the women.”
Ty’s laugh echoed in his ear. “No gossip. I passed you on my way to the hardware store, but you were talking and didn’t notice. But you’re awfully sensitive about it…”
The teasing note in Ty’s voice reminded Callum of what it was like to have friends, and the thought sent a spear of pain through him. “If you could pass on the request, that’d be great.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure. No problem. Got that load of hay for you here, too, whenever you’re ready. We can deliver it on the weekend if you like.”
“Thanks, that’d be great. Gotta run.”
He hung up and wiped his hand over his face. Tyson reminded him of Pete, and maybe a little of Matt and the others. Always good for a laugh or a favor.
$"
Except they weren’t anymore. Callum’s fingers tightened on the edge of the table. They’d all followed their orders—all except Callum. He’d been sleeping off a night of drunkenness in the brig. Because of it, the section had gone out without him. When the IED went off, he’d been safe and sound. They hadn’t, and he’d had to live with that ever since.
Little Cowgirl on His Doorstep (Mills & Boon Cherish) (Cadence Creek Cowboys - Book 3) Page 3
