by Vi Carter
“I’m so sorry Darragh.” Her words are low even though the funeral is over and most people have left.
“Me too,” I say and kiss her on the cheek. “Come over with us.”
She shakes her head. “Stephen is bringing me back to the house. We will prepare a meal for the family.”
I nod and give her a final kiss on the cheek. “That sounds great.” I say. “Mary.” I stop her from leaving and step closer. “Was I at my mother’s funeral?” I feel stupid asking.
Mary looks sad as she touches my face. “You were there but not present.”
“Like I was drunk?” I question.
She frowns. “No. You were medicated. You weren’t doing so well.”
I nod now and Mary leaves.
Returning to Ciara we stand for a while longer before Dad tells us to make our way back to the house. I leave with Ciara and the minute I’m in my car I light a fag.
“That was fucking torture,” I tell the roof.
She squeezes my leg. “The worst is over.”
I look across at Ciara as I lean my head back on the headrest. “Thank you for being there.”
She moves closer her hand leaving my leg and touching my chest. “Of course I’m here. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.” She’s looking at me different and I move closer. The kiss she plants on my lips is feather light and she lingers there. “I love you.” Her breath brushes my lips quickly. I lean out to look at her but she’s focused on my lips. Tilting her head back I make her look at me.
“No one has ever said that to me before,” I whisper. “I never really thought about how that would feel.” My fingers brush her cheeks. “It feels good.” I smile and she mirrors it. “It feels really good.” I add before kissing her. Shane and Una move past my car and get into Shane’s.
“We better go.” Ciara is still smiling. She’s not angry that I didn’t say it back, and it makes me want to say it to her. I’ve never told anyone I loved them, apart from my mother. Ciara leans out and puts on her seatbelt. I do the same and start the car.
“I know you met my family at the wedding. But coming to our home is going to be a bit different.” I try to say my words carefully without scaring the shit out of her.
“Okay.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“It’s only family, so it’s small and anything is liable to happen.”
Ciara nods and she’s still smiling.
“I hope you’re still smiling when you leave.”
She laughs. “The idea of getting to see your home maybe your room is outweighing any uncomfortable thoughts I may have.”
“My room?” I grin at her that was one place I would make sure to show her. I cleaned it this morning to have it ready for her.
“Only if you want to.” Her shy response has me reaching across and taking her hand.
“That’s the only thing that has been keeping me going.” I tell her honestly. “Picturing you naked on my bed, screaming out my name,” I say.
Ciara laughs while retracting her hand. “We will see.”
I grin at her response. “Yeah we will. You want to bet on it?” I ask her as we drive through Nobber. My stomach tightens we are close to home. I hope my family doesn’t make an absolute ass out of me.
“I already owe you a grand so all bets are off the table.”
“When are you going to cough it up?” I glance at her.
She’s grinning. “I suppose I could pay you with IOUs.”
“You mean sexual favors. That sounds good to me.”
Ciara’s hand slips between my legs and I nearly lose control of the wheel. “That’s not a good decision.” I relax into her touch. “OR maybe it is.” She moves her hand in a circular motion. “Will I pull over?”
Ciara removes her hand. “No. Keep driving.”
I’m looking at her and taking quick peeks at the road. “Why are you stopping?” My erection wants her back.
“It was just a taste.” She smiles at me sweetly.
“You’re a tease.”
“Maybe I am.”
I rearrange myself as we come close to my house. The gates normally open on our arrival with a clicker but Father had it disabled. The new gate man who is stationed outside the gate in a small booth peers out. Rolling down the window I try to make his job easier for him.
“It’s me. Darragh.” He hesitates.
Ciara sniggers beside me. “Maybe we have the wrong house.”
The gates are open and I salute the new guy as we move up the drive. Ciara is silent and I take a look at her, she’s wide eyed staring up at the house.
“Impressive isn’t it,” I say, looking at it through her eyes.
“It’s like right out of a fairy tale.”
I snort. “Or a horror movie.”
Thankfully Father didn’t alter the garage doors and they rise as I pull my car inside.
Once the car grows silent, I turn to Ciara. “Okay, we might need a safe word.”
“For sex?” Her question is said so genuinely that I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles from my lips.
“No. For my family but a safe word in sex never hurt anyone.”
Color blossoms in her cheeks. “What about peaches?”
“Your cat? What if you’re just talking about your cat?”
She nods. “De De.”
“De De?”
“Yes. De De. It’s easy to remember.”
I’m not exactly convinced but I don’t want to be late for the meal. “Fine De De is our safe word. If you need to get out of the room or are really uncomfortable just say De De.”
Ciara leans in with a slow smile burning across her face. “We still need to think of one for the bedroom.”
“You look so innocent,” I say holding her face and she smiles wide now as I plant a kiss on her cheek.
“We better go in.”
I’m nervous as we leave the safety of the garage. I want to hold Ciara’s hand but I also don’t want to remind Finn how alone he is in the world right now. I find everyone except Liam in the dining room. Una smiles up at me and Ciara as we enter and pats the seat beside her. I let Ciara slide in and I sit next to her. Connor and Ava are across from Shane and Una, while Finn and an empty chair are across from me and Ciara. Father arrives and smiles at each of us. Liam follows behind and sits beside Finn.
“I love your dress,” Una whispers to Ciara but with the silence in the room we all hear.
“Thank you. Yours is pretty too.” Ciara sips water and looks around the table. My hand rests gently on her leg that keeps rocking. She’s nervous and I don’t blame her. This wasn’t your normal funeral.
Father rises with a glass in hand and we all reach for the glasses that are placed in front of us.
“To Siobhan who was an O’Reagan. She will always be remembered as one of us. We will live for her and remember her in happy times.” Father takes a drink and we all follow suit. Finn looks up and nods at Father. It doesn’t matter how Finn really feels once Father is around, he will put on a show and maybe that’s not a bad thing to force him to do.
Shane stands now. “Siobhan was a lady, and I was happy to call her my sister-in-law.” We drink to his words. Good job it’s just water, or we’d all be pissed. Una says nice words about Siobhan as they were close. Ciara remarks on her beauty and now it’s my turn.
“Siobhan had great intuition. She hated me.” That gets a snort out of Finn. “From what I knew of her she was strong, honest and loved my brother. To Siobhan.” We drink to that and Connor stands. “Siobhan had a great sense of humor. Patience of a saint, with our family as well.” A ghost of a smile crosses Finn’s face. Ava says all the right things also and Una’s in tears across the table. I once again touch Ciara’s leg that keeps rocking. I want to tell her this awkwardness is nearly over. The sad reality of it was that we didn’t really know Siobhan. We didn’t bother getting to know her. I glance at Ava realizing I’ve never given her time either.
Liam stands now
with his glass in hand. “Siobhan may be gone to us, but for Finn she will always be alive within his heart. I hope your memories of her are vivid; I hope her smell still lingers and remember that one day you will join her. To Finn.” Liam drinks and tears fall silently into Finn’s mouth as we drink to him.
When the food arrives, no one is hungry, the talk is so small that I want to scream De De at the top of my lungs. I excuse myself for a smoke, and offer Ciara to come with me but she stays.
Outside a soft rain has started to fall but I don’t mind getting wet. Sitting on the front steps of the house I light up my fag and loosen my tie. The atmosphere in the room is choking and I’ve wanted to drink so much, but now isn’t the time. Now that the food was nearly over maybe we could separate. No one wanted to be in that room together.
“I didn’t know that Liam was a poet.” I grin as Connor sits down, and takes a fag.
“Me neither. He had no idea what to say.”
“None of us did.”
“Maybe it would be nice if we did something together.” I glance at Connor.
He raises both eyebrows. “Me and you.”
“With Ciara and Ava.” I say and crush my fag under my shoe.
“Yeah I can do that.” I sit as Connor finishes his fag.
“Did you get to talk to Liam yet?”
“Yeah, yeah we spoke at the burial,” I say and stand stuffing my hands in my pockets.
“Don’t get all defensive. But tell him today.” I nod knowing Connor is right. I had dragged it out long enough. The last thing the family needed was for me to get arrested.
“I will,” I say and we head back in. Finn isn’t at the table and neither is Liam or Dad.
“Finn was tired,” Una says when we enter.
“I’m going to get changed. You coming?” I ask Ciara and she stands. “Talk to you later.”
“Be good.” Connor calls after us.
Once we are out of the room, I twine my fingers with Ciara. It feels weird for her to be here but really good too. Ciara looks all around her as we climb the stairs and I’m forced to see this house through her eyes. The large winding mahogany stairs wraps around the walls before expanding onto a large landing. The oak floors under us are covered in a long red rug that runs the whole way across the landing. Painting and mirrors that took three men to hang line the walls. Once I open my room door Ciara returns her focus to me.
“This place is like a museum. It’s amazing. I want a tour.”
I remove my jacket. “We could start with a tour of my room.” I say kicking off my shoes. Ciara removes her shoes and moves towards my bed where she sits cross-legged while taking in every detail of my room.
I pull off my shirt and her attention snaps to me.
I smirk. “I can leave it off,” I say.
She bites her lip. “I think I would like that very much.” Her wide blue eyes and loose blond hair make her look so innocent, yet her words aren’t. Stepping out of my trousers I move to my chest of drawers.
“This is where I keep all my socks and boxers,” I tell her and open a drawer.
“Over here is my mirror.” I point before pulling off my socks. “That door leads to my bathroom and that one to my closet.”
“I’m impressed Darragh. I really am.” Ciara hides a laugh behind her hands.
“These are my curtains.” I tell her raising a brow while whipping them closed and she giggles.
I drop my boxers and stand back up as I approach Ciara who isn’t giggling anymore. “And you are on my bed.”
“Will I be punished?”
My erection grows as I crawl to her quickly. “Severely.”
Her smile is back as she tugs me down onto my back. She straddles me as she pulls her dress over her head. The black number she is wearing is stunning on her.
“We have to be quick.” I tell her between kisses.
“I can be quick.” She says before biting my lip. Ciara takes the lead brushing her underwear aside and placing me inside her. Her body rocks against mine and I’m tempted to move her under me, but watching her with her eyes closed as she moves rapidly against me has captured my focus. I let my fingers touch her clit and her eyes snap open.
“That’s so good,” she says and I move my fingers faster as she grinds into me harder. My own release is so close. I want to grab her hips and drill her down on me but my fingers work her clit until she’s panting and moving faster and harder on my cock. We both release at the same time. Ciara crashes down on top of me, a slight coating of sweat on her face and body.
“You are so hot,” I say.
She kisses my chest. “That was good.”
We lie in silence for a while. Ciara randomly places kisses on my chest and I can’t stop touching her hair, her smell was something I was getting used to, like when she climbs into my car and I smell it, it makes me happy. She makes me happy. I never thought I would find anyone like her.
“You make me happy,” I say and when she looks up at me, I kiss her softly on the lips.
“You make me happy too.” She smiles up at me.
“I’m addicted to you.”
Her laugh fills my room. “I’m not sure I like being your addiction.” When she rolls back in, she kisses my shoulder.
“Fine. Fine. I’m using all the wrong words.” My heart picks up speed. “I love you.” I finally say what I want to say.
Ciara’s eyes shimmer as she sits up. “Like for real?” Her lip pulls down like she might cry.
I sit up my fingers touching her lips. “For real.”
Her lips tug up into a smile and tears fall from her eyes. “I love you too.”
Taking her face in my hands I kiss her; salty tears flow into our kiss.
We lie back down and I just hold Ciara and it’s been such a long time since I’ve been this happy. I kiss her head again and she shuffles in closer to me, her small warm body pressed against mine. I allow myself to close my eyes and just relax.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
DARRAGH
Later that night I slip from the bed and leave Ciara sleeping. For a funeral, the day seemed perfect in one sense, but now I knew I needed to talk to Liam. Connor and Shane, Ava and Una still hang out in the dining room. They are all drinking, and I was tempted to join them.
“Anyone see Finn?” I ask from the door frame.
“He still hasn’t come out of his room.” Una frowns now.
“No one has checked on him?” My question is answered with lots of guilty faces.
“I will.” Connor gets up and I’m grateful.
“Anyone see Liam?”
“The last time I spoke to him he was in the library.” I tap the door frame and head for the library. Connor falls into step beside me.
“Are you going to have that talk?”
We separate at the stairs.” Yes so you can stop pestering me about it.” I grin as I head towards the library but it soon leaves my face as I think of the complications of what I’m about to tell Liam. Also, for the first time I don’t want to go to him with a problem for him to fix. I want to help fix it. Sticking my head in I’m glad to see Liam alone. He’s nursing a glass of brandy.
“How are you holding up?” I feel guilty kicking off with something like that. But launching into the real problem doesn’t feel right.
“I’m grateful our family is still here, in one piece. For now anyway.” Liam drinks from the glass and I sit down across from him.
“Yeah knowing Shane will be okay is a relief.”
Liam is watching me. He knows me and I hate this.
“I hate doing this right now Liam. I really mean that but I’ve got myself into a pretty serious mess this time.”
A ghost of a smile shadows Liam’s face, but it’s gone so quickly I wonder if I’d imagined it. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
I grin at Liam his attitude felt different. “I robbed two bank links with friends of mine. One of them got caught and now they are all going to give my name up to get immunity.�
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“How long have you been sitting on this?”
“Not long. It just never felt like the right time. Two of the guys are decent and undecided. But I honestly don’t think they will be a problem. It’s Art and Mark who are going to sell me out.” Art’s betrayal still hurts.
Liam nods now. “What is it you want me to do?”
I shift in my seat. “I honestly don’t have a clue; I just need you to help me.”
“I tried Darragh remember, I cut you off and gave you a job. But you decide to rob a bank.” Liam finishes his drink and I look away from him. I had never felt more like an idiot than I did right now.
“Look forget it. I got it.” I stand and fix my trousers.
“Tell me how you will fix it?” Liam sits fully back, his legs crossed. The glass rests on his thigh.
“I’ll talk to them; convince them not to do this.”
“Okay and if they agree what happens then?” Liam asks and I hold on to the back of the Queen Ann chair.
“We all go down,” I say.
“Exactly, so you can’t win this one.”
“What you think I should go down for this?” I had done so much bad shit and gotten away with it. I knew I deserved punishment but not now, not when I was trying to be better.
“Of course not.” The bite in Liam’s words surprises me. “We need to remove them.”
This is what I expected to happen. My stomach twists and tightens and I nod. “I know. Art and Mark….”
Liam stops me. “All of them except one.”
“No Liam. Fitz and DJ are good people.”
“You want to go to prison or not?”
I squeeze the chair in front of me and Liam repeats his question.
“Of course not. But DJ and Fitz don’t deserve to die.”
“Only one of them, you decide.”
I’m shaking my head. “What happens to the one who lives?” I ask.
Liam finishes the drink. “He will go down for the robberies. Someone has to pay the price Darragh.”
