by Ann Cleeves
“You’re right.” Michael gave a little smile. “So you are.”
“Can I get you another pint?” Veronica asked. She had her back to him, returning some glasses, and spoke over her shoulder. The bra strap at the back was very thin. Only one catch, he reckoned. When he was young he’d have had that undone in seconds.
The third pint was tempting, but he shook his head. He had things to do. It struck him again how things had changed. He was walking away from a drink, and for the first time since Peg had died he had things to do.
“Best get back,” he said. “Don’t want to overdo things first time out.” He grinned to show he was joking, that there was nothing of the invalid about him. He pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket. “Now, how much are these tickets for the lifeboat going to set me back?”
Barry slid off his stool and mooched into the back room to find the tickets. Veronica leaned right across the bar so he could smell the shampoo on her hair. She whispered, “You know what you’re doing, don’t you, love? You won’t make a scene?”
Before he could stop himself he reached out and patted the back of her hand, just as the little chaplain had done in the crematorium.
“Don’t worry about me. I know just what I’m doing.”
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning Michael woke very early again. The darkness was still thick and there was no traffic moving on the road outside. Today, he realized, he didn’t have to force himself to stay in bed. He could get up. He repeated the comforting mantra which he’d started in the pub. He had things to do. The things he had to do were still vague in his head, but that didn’t matter.
The clothes he’d taken off the night before were still folded on a chair at the end of his bed. Peg hadn’t been a house-proud woman, but she’d liked him neatly turned out. Her last couple of months, when she’d not been able to get out of bed, she’d worried about that. She’d pulled him close to her, made him listen to the rasping whisper. He’d thought it would be something important, significant, a declaration of love, and perhaps it had been in a way. Are you managing? With the washing and ironing? He’d taught himself to do it so she’d have less to fret about.
Now the memory made him think he might be running short of underpants. He gathered up the dirty washing from the basket in the bathroom and stuck it in the washing machine. A week ago the laundry would have been a full day’s occupation. He’d plan it in advance, sit in the kitchen watching his Y-fronts tumble around in the suddy water, feeling he was doing something useful. Today it was a chore to get out of the way. He had things to do.
He was hungry. Had he eaten the day before when he’d arrived back from the Anchor? He couldn’t remember. His head had been full of plans, his excitement fuelled by the whisky he’d finished off. Now he raided the fridge like a kid ravenous after a day at school, and fried up eggs, bacon, a few leftover cooked potatoes. He left the plate in the sink, already fidgety to be out, with no real idea of where he’d go. As he left the bungalow the church clock struck the three quarter hour. Seven forty-five. Still too early for all the things he’d planned the night before, but he couldn’t face going back inside.
The rain had stopped. He took the lane which led towards the estuary. The path was lit by widely spaced street lamps and the wet road underneath looked black and shiny like melted tar. On one side there was a row of brick cottages. Lights were on now and an occasional sound a door slamming, a burst of the radio -escaped to be tossed away by the wind. On the other side were fields with rough grazing and a few sheep. He couldn’t see the sheep but he knew they were there. He could hear them moving. The fields were separated from the lane by a stone wall and he walked briskly against the wind until he came to a break in it. There were no more houses now. He’d reached the edge of the village.
The gap in the wall was blocked by a gate and he thought for a moment that it might be locked and that he’d be forced to scramble over it. He’d been here before but only in daylight. Late afternoon, usually,
when the sun slanted through the big sycamores. Not recently though. Recently he’d neglected even to get here. Sycamores always held their leaves well into the autumn and some of the trees were still in leaf even now. The wind made a sound in them, so he was fooled briefly into thinking he could hear the tide ebbing in the estuary.
The gate was on a latch and opened easily. He was inside. Surrounded on four sides by the trees. He didn’t stop to read the notice on the gate. He knew it read Elvet parish cemetery. Established 1853. In the east the sky was starting to lighten and he could make out the pale slabs of the headstones. He could have found Peg’s even if it had still been pitch dark. She had wanted to be buried. It had been one of the instructions she’d given him, forced it out through dry lips in the same way as she’d told him how to use the washing machine.
He’d come to make his peace with Peg. He’d been putting together the words as he walked along the lane. I went to pieces after you died. You know what I’m like. No good without you. Thingsil be different now.
But instead of talking to her he found himself remembering the first time he’d realized she was ill. It had been a couple of weeks after the Mantel girl had died. The murder had upset her. Really upset her, as if she’d been Abigail’s mother. She’d said that was what it felt like, like she’d lost a daughter. It had been a dreadful time. Jeanie mooning around the house, trying to phone Mantel though he’d made it clear he didn’t want to speak to her. Peg grieving for a girl she’d hardly known. That morning the two of them had been in the kitchen. Peg had been baking for some do at the church. The autumn fay re She’d rolled out the dough for scones and had started cutting them out with an upturned wine glass. Suddenly she’d seemed to crumple and the glass had rolled out of her hand. She’d stood there, bent double with the pain. He’d just come in from a shift and was drinking tea at the table. He’d caught the glass just before it rolled onto the floor, but when he’d got up to help her she’d waved him away as if she knew what to do, and he knew that this hadn’t been the first time it had happened. Then the doorbell had rung and Peg had said, “Go and get it, will you?” All impatient. He’d understood that the pain had made her fractious, but also that she’d needed time to pull herself together.
Two police officers had been standing on the doorstep. Not in uniform, but he’d recognized them. One was the woman, the inspector, the other her sergeant, the big bloke. Greenwood. Michael could picture them now, standing there. It had been snowing and the big soft flakes were sticking to their coats, melting slowly, keeping the shape of the crystal. The woman had smiled. It hadn’t been a false smile. It had been as if she’d been really pleased to see Michael, and he’d loved that feeling. He’d always been a fool around women. Always taken in by their flattery.
“Mind if we come in for a few minutes?” she’d said. She’d stamped her boots on the step to shake off the snow. The boots had narrow heels, almost pointed, and although she’d been otherwise soberly dressed, he’d thought there’d been something frivolous about them, tarty even. The man, Dan Greenwood, had seemed uncomfortable, edgy. Later, when he moved to the village, he’d been followed by rumours. Michael had heard he’d had a breakdown. Perhaps he’d been on the verge of illness even then. Michael had felt it had taken an effort of will for him to follow his boss into the house.
“Is Jeanie around?” Fletcher had asked, not as if she were desperate to speak to the girl. More as if she’d been passing anyway so she might as well have a word. Through the open kitchen door Peg had caught Michael’s eye. He’d thought she was trying to tell him something, but he hadn’t worked out what it could be. He hadn’t sensed the danger.
“She’s upstairs,” he’d said and had yelled up at Jeanie to come down. Peg had turned away in despair. She’d always been smarter than him. She must have known, even then, what the police were there for.
Jeanie hadn’t come out of her room immediately, and they’d stood in the hall looking up to the landing, necks
cricked in anticipation. There had been no response to Michael’s shout of command, no sound or movement and he had felt the tension stretch, saw it like a piece of elastic about to snap. Had he realized even then what the police were really there for? Or had he still been too dumb?
There had been the soft click of the door being opened and Jeanie had appeared at the top of the stairs. She’d been wearing blue jeans and a green sweater with a big cowl neck. No shoes but thick woollen socks which made no sound when she walked. It had been the socks they’d seen first through the banisters as she’d approached them down the stairs. She’d lost weight since Abigail’s murder. Michael had noticed that looking up at her from the unusual angle. He’d thought uncharitably that she’d not stopped eating through grief for the girl. It had been a pathetic love sickness. She’d wasted away because Mantel had refused to have anything more to do with her.
At that point Peg had come out of the kitchen, her body held rigid as if she’d been scared the pain would return, but fighting all the same.
“What do you want with her now?” Spitting out the words towards the inspector.
Fletcher had turned towards Peg. Her hair had swung like the hair in shampoo advertisements, polished, falling obediently back into place. She’d looked at Peg for a moment, considering if an answer was necessary.
“We’d like to ask Jeanie a few more questions. At the police station. We need her to help us with our enquiries.”
“You’ll not talk to her without a solicitor!”
“Yes,” the inspector had said, giving a quick nod of approval, as if Peg had been the only other person present bright enough to realize the gravity of the situation. “I think you should arrange for her lawyer to be there as soon as possible.” She’d paused and then added, “And you might like to pack a small bag for Jeanie. Essentials. It’s very likely that we’ll be charging her.” Her voice had been measured, melodious, but looking back Michael understood that this had been her moment of triumph.
i She’d looked at them both in turn. “You do understand what I’m saying? If we arrest your daughter, she’ll be held in custody until we can get her to court. She won’t get bail. No chance of that when the charge is murder. It’s only fair that you understand that’s a possibility.” She’d smiled at them as if she was doing a favour by taking them into her confidence.
“What happens if she refuses to go with you?” Peg had demanded.
“Then we’ll arrest her now.”
Peg had looked as if she’d been punched, but Michael hadn’t taken in the implication of the scene which was being played out in front of him. He’d seen the inspector’s mouth move, but his attention had been held by the man, by Dan Greenwood standing just behind her. Greenwood had stepped forward, had even, Michael thought now, remembering the event for the first time in years, spoken to intervene. “Ma’am A hand upraised. A mouth open. A single word. “Ma’am.” The snow had all melted on his jacket now. Water like dewdrops had clung to the fibres.
Inspector Fletcher had glanced over her shoulder at him.
“Yes, Greenwood?” As glacial as the weather outside. And Michael had thought there must be something personal between these two, something more than professional rivalry. A failed love affair? Perhaps that had been it. There’d been that sort of tension. Michael had been thinking all that, while Peg had been coming to terms with the fact that her only child might be arrested for murder. And what had Jeanie been thinking? At the time he hadn’t considered Jeanie’s feelings at all.
The sergeant hadn’t answered immediately and the inspector had sensed her advantage and demanded more sharply, “Well, Greenwood? What is it?”
And for some reason the sergeant’s courage had suddenly left him. He’d crumbled. “Nothing, ma’am.” And then had hated himself for his cowardice. Michael had recognized how he was feeling. Hadn’t he once sat down for a meal with Keith Mantel? That had been a betrayal too.
At that point Michael had realized that something more was expected of him. The focus had shifted and he’d seen the whole picture instead of the detail: Peg in tears, Jeanie as pale as a corpse. He’d had a part to play as head of the household and he’d played it in the only way he knew, blustering and raging.
“What right do you have to come into my house and accuse my daughter of murder?”
But his heart hadn’t been in it and they’d been able to tell. Jeanie had walked out to the car between the two officers, looking back once with that blank and empty stare which had always shut them out. She’d seemed to wince as a snowflake fell on her cheek.
Now, staring down at Peg’s grave, Michael shivered. From the corner of his eye he caught a movement on the other side of the cemetery. Another mourner. He realized how strange he must look, standing in the half light, bedraggled and tearful. Some lunatic let loose from the madhouse. But the figure who had just come in through the wrought-iron gate seemed equally distraught and it was clear that he hadn’t noticed Michael. They were two of a kind. Though the newcomer was younger, tall and stringy, it seemed that he too was passing through an emotional crisis. He was wearing a long anorak, unfastened. He had his hands thrust deep in the pockets and walked jerkily, moving his arms at the same time, so the front of the coat flapped like wings. He stopped once with his back to Michael and stood with one hand to his ear. He seemed to be muttering to himself. Then he moved on past the line of graves. Any respectable passer-by would conclude,
Michael thought, that there’d been a mass break out from the asylum.
Michael didn’t move. He had no wish to disturb the stranger, who seemed so preoccupied by his own thoughts that he was unaware of anything outside his direct line of vision. The young man found the headstone for which he’d been searching and stopped. Tentatively he reached out and touched it with a gentle stroking motion as if he were stroking hair from a loved one’s forehead. Then he turned abruptly and marched away.
Michael roused himself to follow, but curiosity overcame him. He walked to the grave where the young man had been standing. When he saw the name there was no surprise. It had been inevitable. Abigail Mantel.
By the time Michael reached the lane there was no sign of the disturbed young man. Perhaps he had taken the other direction, towards the river, though there was no shelter there, at this stage of the tide, nothing but an expanse of mud, a couple of stranded boats, marauding herring gulls.
Back in the middle of Elvet, a gaggle of teenagers was waiting by the church gate for the school bus. They were a scruffy and unruly lot. His Jeanie had never behaved like that. You wouldn’t have caught her wearing a skirt which showed her backside and more make-up than a pantomime dame. That was what Michael told himself as he approached. That he disapproved and their parents should know better. He specially disapproved of two girls who were standing apart from the others. One of them was smoking a cigarette and the other was talking into a mobile phone.
The way she stood, holding the phone to her ear triggered a memory and he was back in the cemetery by Peg’s grave, lost again in the past. The girl gave a shrill laugh and he was brought back to the present. He knew then he was deluding himself. He didn’t disapprove of them at all. He admired them. They had the same sort of spirit as Abigail Mantel. And they excited him too with their curly hair scrunched up to the top of their heads, their defiant eyes and their silky legs. He’d have liked to say something to them, nothing important, just a word of greeting to make a connection, but at that moment the bus came along the road, wheezing and grinding. The girls hoisted their bags onto their shoulders. One threw the cigarette end onto the pavement and stamped on it with her clumpy shoe. Just as well, Michael thought. He’d only have made a fool of himself.
As the bus pulled away he saw that he wasn’t the only person watching. Outside the Old Forge, preparing perhaps to open up the pottery, stood the ex-policeman, the one who had come with Fletcher to arrest Jeanie. Caught under the street light, the man had the same wistful expression on his face as Michael realize
d he probably had. What was he regretting? Sex or age. It had to be one or the other. Michael hurried on to phone Vera Stanhope.
Chapter Eighteen
When James arrived home the house was quiet. He had been working, delivering a tanker from the mouth of the river to the docks at Hull. A short shift. No complications. No visions of ghosts. He’d worked with the skipper a few times before and they got on well. As he’d waited on the Point for the launch to take him to the ship, James had looked at Wendy’s house and seen that the curtains had been drawn. There’d been a light behind them and he’d thought he’d noticed movement. Not one shadow. Two. But then Stan, the other coxswain, had called him to the launch and he couldn’t be sure. Not his business anyway.
So everything had been normal until he approached the front door of his house, his keys ready in his hand. Then he found himself shaking. He had to steady himself against the door frame. There was a sudden, irrational fear that something terrifying had happened in the house. Suddenly he was a young man again, returning home to bad news. He fumbled to unlock the door and pushed it open.
“Emma. Emma. Are you there?”
She came out into the hall to greet him.
“Of course. Whatever is the matter?”
He didn’t answer immediately. He could hear a strange woman’s voice, then realized it was coming from the radio. He tried to recover his calm.
“Nothing. I didn’t know what I’d find here. I mean what chaos Christopher might have caused.”
Emma frowned. “You don’t have to worry about him any more. He’s gone. He didn’t even bother to say goodbye.”
He followed her back into the kitchen and saw she’d been baking. A pile of buns were balanced on a wire tray to cool. She switched off the radio and screwed up her face critically.
“Not brilliant, are they? I don’t know why they didn’t rise.”
“I’m sure they’ll taste OK. They smell delicious.” He knew the cakes were for him. Not to eat specially. More a symbol. Look, I’m making the effort to be what you want. He wondered why she had felt the need to make the effort today. Something to do with Chris?
