HOT Addiction: A Hostile Operations Team Novel - Book 10

by Lynn Raye Harris

  She was a mother, and her child had been ripped away. Right now, she was hurting more than he’d ever been hurt. He was rational enough to realize that.

  “Belle,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He tucked the towel over her body, hiding her from view. Then he took the second towel he’d grabbed and wrapped it around her wet hair. Her blue eyes were wide and wounded. She’d pushed herself upright to lean against his headboard. His gut clenched as she met his gaze.

  “I don’t want to be alone,” she said. “I… I think when I’m alone.”

  He carefully rubbed the strands of her hair between the folds of the towel, removing as much extra moisture as he could. He’d have to find a comb next.

  “You aren’t alone,” he said gruffly. “I told you I’m not leaving.”

  “Will you stay in here with me? At least until I fall asleep?”

  God, what she was asking him to do. And yet he would. No matter how much he liked to tell himself he hated this woman, he didn’t. She still meant something to him, though not the way she once had.

  He cared because he’d known her since she was a little girl in pigtails. He’d picked her up when she’d fallen before, and he’d bandaged scrapes when no one else was around to do it for her or Katie. Later, he’d loved her with all his heart and done his best to make a life for them.

  “I’ll sit with you until you sleep.” He stood and went to find her comb. When he returned, he started working the teeth through her hair, untangling knots and smoothing the blond hair straight.

  She was still wrapped in the towel he’d put around her in the shower. It wasn’t a huge towel, so consequently he could see a lot of leg and the creamy swells of her breasts. He tried not to think about her pink nipples or the shadow between her thighs. He’d seen it all when he’d put her on the bed and started to dry her more thoroughly.

  Maybe he should have left her in the bathroom with the towel around her and let her take care of it herself, but he didn’t think it would have worked. She’d been numb when he’d dragged her from the shower.

  She sniffled. Redness rimmed her puffy eyes. Dammit.

  “What was Eric going to do with half a billion dollars?”

  He wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or to herself, but he answered anyway. “He could have disappeared with money like that. Bought an island. Laid in the sun and sipped umbrella drinks for the rest of his life.”

  “But that’s not the way Eric was. He needed attention. He needed people to exclaim over his brilliance. He could never disappear. There would be no one to feed his ego.”

  He knew enough of Eric to know that was true. “What about Porter? Could they have been planning to split the money?”

  Annabelle frowned. Then she shook her head. “No. Marshall is a scientist. He’d care far more about the accolades from his peers. Of course, he was getting a bonus—a pretty big one—once the technology worked as planned.”

  “Just a bonus, huh?”

  She turned her gaze to him. “He works for Archer Industries. All our employees sign paperwork that states they aren’t allowed to file patents for anything they work on. It’s standard procedure in the industry. He works for the company, so the company gets the patent.”

  Yes, it often was standard procedure since the company supplied the laboratory and paid people for their work, but it could also create hard feelings. If what Annabelle had said about Marshall Porter being the brains of the Helios project was true, it was entirely possible he was angry about not owning the rights to exploit the technology for himself. It was clearly very valuable.

  Dex made a note to call his team and ask them to find out what kind of information existed on Marshall Porter. It might be nothing, but they had to follow all angles. So far as he knew, Porter was still in Briar City. He hadn’t been in the laboratory when it exploded, so he was certainly somewhere.

  Could he have known about the money? If he had, did he know that Eric had gotten it or did he think because Eric died in Africa that he hadn’t been successful?

  Dex finished combing Annabelle’s hair and took the towel in to hang it over the rack. When he returned, she’d slipped beneath the covers and the other towel dangled from her fingers. He hung that one in the bathroom as well.

  He tried not to think about the fact she was naked in his bed, but he wasn’t doing a good job of forgetting. His balls tingled with the beginnings of arousal. If he didn’t shut this down, he’d be sporting a woody in about twenty seconds.

  He stared down at her, hands on hips, brain rolling with a million thoughts. “You said Eric wouldn’t agree to a divorce. Why?”

  Frown lines appeared on her forehead. “Control, I think. If he divorced me, I’d be free to go back to you.”

  “If you despised him so much, why didn’t you leave anyway?”

  “Charlotte. He threatened me with a custody fight.”

  Asshole. “So you stayed and slept in separate bedrooms. And you didn’t know about the money.”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. I don’t know what he intended to do with it, but I’m convinced he wasn’t going to disappear. Buy a bigger house, a better car, more and fancier toys probably. He wanted to be a billionaire. Maybe he thought that was a good start.”

  Dex snorted. “Half a billion is a very good start.”

  She closed her eyes and rolled her head against the pillow. “All I wanted was security for my daughter. And I’ve managed to fail spectacularly at that.”

  He dropped to a sitting position beside her, squeezed her fingers in his. “You didn’t fail. Eric failed the two of you. He got into this trouble and he dragged you with him. It’s not your fault.”

  Her lower lip trembled. “I miss her, Dex. She must be so scared.”

  He lifted her hand to his mouth, pressed his lips to her smooth skin. It was a bad move since it sent a shudder of longing rolling through him. “She has Molly and Becca. Now, I don’t know your friend, but I bet she’s doing a fine job of distracting those kids from what’s going on.”

  He hoped it was true. He’d been on missions where hostages simply fell apart. People who seemed strong in everyday life couldn’t cope when faced with life-threatening danger. Not that he blamed them or didn’t understand. He did. He just prayed like hell that Molly Carter was one of the strong ones.

  Annabelle nodded. “Molly’s amazing. She’s one of the best people I know.”

  “That’s good, Belle. Think positive thoughts.”

  “I’m trying to… Dex, can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Will you kiss me?”

  *

  Annabelle knew he wasn’t going to like that request, but it was the only way she could think of to get her mind into another place. Not that she was likely to forget what was happening, because she wasn’t, but a kiss from Dex had always had the power to consume her before. Would it still have that power? Would she feel more confident, more settled, if he kissed her?

  He was staring at her with a hard expression. His T-shirt clung to his muscles like a lover. It had gotten wet when he’d picked her up, and now it left nothing to the imagination. Heat flashed in his eyes.

  But was it the heat of anger or of desire?

  She had no right to ask him to kiss her. But it seemed necessary somehow. Like she was a leaf whipping in the wind and the only way to anchor her was a kiss.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he growled.

  A sharp pain jabbed her heart. Of course he wasn’t going to kiss her.

  “I understand.”

  “I don’t think you do.” He skimmed a finger along her cheek. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s not that I hate you so much I can’t bear to touch you again. I want it too much. A kiss won’t be enough for me. If I kiss you, Annabelle, I’m gonna want to bury myself inside you. But not before I’ve kissed every inch of your body. Not before I’ve spread you open and licked your s
weetness until you come so hard you see stars. You’re naked in my bed, and all I want is to join you there even though you’re hurting and scared. All I can think about is your slick heat and the way you feel wrapped around me. That’s not fair to you right now. It’s not what you need from me.”

  Her body went nuclear. Her nipples budded so tight they ached. She was wet and hot and aroused. It had been ages since she’d been touched—and even longer since she’d enjoyed it. Five long years. She hadn’t wanted a man since the last time Dex had made love to her.

  Maybe he was right. Maybe now wasn’t the time. She was confused and scared. She felt so damned helpless. But Dex was here, and she had an urgent need to do whatever it took to distract herself from the pain.

  She didn’t care about consequences.

  “Maybe it’s exactly what I need.”

  He closed his eyes. “No, honey. No. It’s not right.”

  She surged up and pressed her lips to his before he knew what she was about. He stiffened—and then his mouth dropped open and his tongue tangled with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to drag her body closer to his. The covers slipped down her torso, exposing her breasts to the air. Her core throbbed with heat and silky need.

  The kiss was desperate and hot. Her pulse pounded in her throat, her temples. She expected him to pull away at any second. Instead, he pushed her back on the bed, his body covering hers, pressing her into the mattress. The covers were a barrier between them, but that didn’t stop her from trying to rock her hips upward.

  His hands ran along her arms. Gently, he pried them from his neck. She thought he would push her away, but he trapped her wrists in one big hand and pushed them against the headboard. Molten desire surged in her blood, immolating her inhibitions. She bucked upward, but he was maddeningly in control and withholding what she wanted.

  He broke the kiss and stared down at her, his dark eyes troubled. “You have to know, Belle, this isn’t going to rekindle anything between us. If you’re thinking we’re going to fall in love again and take up where we left off, we aren’t.”

  Disappointment galloped into her soul. “Did I say that?”

  “No, but you’re upset and hurting. If I were any other man, would you kiss me right now?”

  “No. But you aren’t any other man. You’re Dex Davidson, and I trust you.” She sucked in a breath. “Yes, I’m upset. I don’t know what to do—but I know I need to feel something. I need you to make me feel like there’s hope, like someone in this world cares for me, even if it’s not really true.”

  Ice crusted inside the walls of her heart. She needed warmth and he was the only one who could give it to her. If they didn’t have a history, if he were a stranger to her, then no, she wouldn’t want this. It was more than sex with him. It was comfort.

  He sighed. “I can’t,” he said softly.

  She pushed her hips against his. The steel in his pants told another story. “Can’t? Or won’t?”

  “Won’t. You married Eric, Belle. You had reasons, I get that, but you threw what we had away and you ended up with him. When I imagine you with him… Shit, it still pisses me off to think of him touching you. Of you letting him do the things I did.”

  The unfairness boiled over inside her, frothing and spilling into a sizzling mess. He had no idea. No idea!

  “Let him? Jesus Christ, Dex, I didn’t let him do anything! Eric raped me.”

  17

  Dex froze. He was in the process of lifting himself off her when her words hit him. He went utterly rigid.

  What the fuck?

  His vision went dark. Hot rage cascaded over the rocks of his disbelief. “What did you say?”

  Her body sagged beneath him. He let her wrists go and managed to push himself to a sitting position against the headboard. She jerked the covers up and sat beside him.

  “I said he raped me.” She expelled a hot breath. “He came over a couple of nights after I was supposed to marry you. My parents left so we could be alone.” Her bitter laugh just about broke his heart. “To talk about the wedding, for fuck’s sake. I begged him to let me go and not hurt my dad, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He said if I didn’t marry him, my parents would lose everything and my dad would go to jail. And then he… he told me to strip or the deal was off. What choice did I have?”

  What choice did she have? Jesus fuck, if Eric Archer were alive today, he’d only wish he’d been torn apart by lions. Because Dex would destroy him as slowly and painfully as possible.

  “What happened then?” He needed to know. His heart was a bruised thing in his chest, and his blood was hot with helpless fury. For her. For what she’d gone through.

  “He raped me. I didn’t fight him, so I wondered for the longest time if it was really rape. But it was rape because I didn’t want it. Because he shoved himself inside me without any care. Because he—he tore things and I bled.” She made a strangled noise in her throat. “Just a few nights before that, I’d been with you. I thought of you the whole time, but it didn’t help—because I knew you were lost and never coming back.”

  Rage hammered in his temples. Dex wanted to hit things. Throw things. Kill a dead man. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry, and then he wanted to make everything right again. But how the fuck was he going to do that? She’d suffered, and he’d been off nursing a broken heart and feeling sorry for himself.

  How had he not realized something had to be terribly wrong for her to leave him the way she had? From the first moment he’d kissed her in the hallway of his house, Dex and Annabelle had been right together. Meant to be. And it all fucking fell apart because of her parents and Eric.

  Dex dropped his head in his hands and dragged air into his lungs, trying to keep himself from exploding. Trying to find the calm he typically had on a mission. The stillness that was utterly necessary to a sniper.

  He couldn’t. Instead, he found a pit of despair and anger. Hot tears pressed against his eyelids. He never cried. Fucking never. But one spilled over and dropped down his cheek. It wasn’t for him. It was for her. For what she’d gone through with Eric Archer.

  He reached for her with one arm, dragged her into the circle of his embrace, and buried his face against her hair.

  “I’m sorry, Belle. Sorry for not being there.”

  She slipped an arm over his torso and hugged him tight. Tears vibrated in her voice. “It’s not your fault. I should have told you what was happening. I should have been braver and told you the truth about why I couldn’t marry you.”

  He crushed her to him. “Yeah, I wish you’d told me. But I think you were brave, Belle. You sacrificed your happiness to save someone else. You did what you thought was right.” He pulled in a breath to steady himself. “I’d kill Eric if he wasn’t already dead. It’s a good fucking thing we aren’t still in Briar City because I’d be kicking your dad’s ass. I still might.”

  He had a vision of punching Jerry Quinn’s lights out. It was a satisfying thought.

  “As much as I think he deserves it, he’s still my dad. And Charlotte’s granddad, so no, I can’t let you do that.”

  “You deserved better than what they did to you.”

  “I know. But my parents don’t know what Eric did, or what he was like. I never told them what happened.”

  Of course she hadn’t. They wouldn’t have wanted to know. Once their miserable lives were back on track and they didn’t have to worry about Eric holding Jerry’s embezzlement over his head, they’d have gone about their lives like everything was perfectly normal. Even if they’d had any inkling that their daughter was unhappy or abused, they’d have shrugged it off and pretended it didn’t exist. Because that’s the kind of fuckwads they were.

  “Do you hate them?”

  Because right now he did.

  She was quiet for a long minute. “I should. But hate is a hard thing to live with. I hated Eric. That’s enough for me. My parents… Well, I’m mad at them. Still. But they actually love Charlo
tte, and they’re good to her. I shudder to think of them becoming her guardians if something were to happen to me—”

  The words choked off, and he knew she was thinking about her child being held hostage by Dmitri Leonov. Not that she knew Leonov’s real name. It was safest for her to think of him as Mr. Lyon. She couldn’t let his name slip if she didn’t know it, so his team had made a conscious decision not to tell her.

  He put his other arm around her and hugged her. “Don’t think about it, Belle. We’ll get her back. Lyon wants the money more than he wants anything else. He’ll keep her safe so long as he doesn’t have what he wants.”

  She clung to him. “I just can’t bear the thought of her being scared or thinking I’ve abandoned her.”

  “I know, honey. I know.”

  “When I came to your dad’s farm yesterday… I had no idea it would turn out like this. I keep thinking I should have gone and picked her up from preschool myself. Then she’d be with us right now.”

  Dex pictured the car sitting outside her house yesterday. “No, I don’t think so. He’d have grabbed you both before you ever had a chance to find out where the money was. And when you couldn’t produce it, he’d have probably used your daughter against you.”

  She shuddered. “You’re saying she’d be dead.”

  “It’s possible, yes.”

  “Oh God—how are we going to stop him? How will we get her and Molly and Becca back?”

  “You have to trust me and my team. This is what we do. We do it often enough that we aren’t afraid of failing. We’ll be where he thinks we can’t be, and we’ll do what he thinks can’t be done.”

  She seemed to melt just a little. He knew she wasn’t going to be at complete ease until she had Charlotte in her arms again, but this was a start. He pictured the photo Annabelle had shown him. Red hair, blue eyes, freckles. So much like Annabelle when she’d been young, other than the red hair. Eric had been olive-skinned with dark brown hair. Whatever the girl had gotten from him wasn’t immediately apparent, but Dex had seen plenty of kids who didn’t look like their parents. Or maybe he was just bad at spotting the resemblance.