“I think so,” Joss nodded, wishing, hoping, praying she was wrong.
“What does he need?” Willie mumbled, barely holding it together.
“He needs to be in a hospital. He needs IV fluids, drugs, constant monitoring. Without it, his organs will start shutting down,” she offered, trying to remember everything she’d ever learned about Severe Dengue.
“How long do you think?” Charles asked, slowly shaking his head.
“I don’t know, maybe a few days, maybe sooner...” Joss choked, hating the words as they fell from her lips.
Daniel raised his head, running a hand through his hair. “Can we go in and see him,” he asked.
“Of course,” Joss agreed, trying to summon a smile for him. “I’m sure he’d like us to spend as much time with him as possible.”
Grant moved forward and crouched in front of her, taking her hand. “Is there anything we can do, Joss?”
She looked at him sadly, only one thing coming to mind. “Pray.”
Chapter 26
It was the longest night of Joss’ life, of all their lives. They stayed inside the shelter, taking turns sitting by Ryan’s side, sleeping in shifts. Joss spent hours studying her book, trying to find something, anything else that might be able to help him, being as thorough as possible. The sleepless night left her drained, emotional, and agitated but she knew she had to hold it together. The last thing any of them needed was to deal with an hysterical woman. But inside, she was hysterical, filled with quiet panic and dread. It was incredibly heartbreaking watching Ryan suffer, hour by hour losing his fight. It was hard for her brain to accept, how in a matter of a week he could go from a strong, vital man to a listless shell of himself. It wasn’t fair. They had survived a plane crash for God’s sake! She knew she was floating through the stages of grief, coming around to each of them over and over again. She loved him. She wasn’t ready to let him go.
“Joss, I’m going to get a fire going, make some mint tea,” Daniel said, pulling her out of her trance. “Can I get you some?”
She looked up at him, trying to focus her eyes. He was smiling at her lovingly but clearly he was dealing with his own sadness.
“What time is it?” she asked, sitting up straighter.
“It’s pretty early still. Six thirty.”
“How’s Ryan?”
“Same. He just took some water from Charles,” Daniel said, placing his hand gently on her cheek. “Maybe you should try to get a little sleep?”
“I’m okay,” she said, placing her hand over his. “I will take some tea.”
“Okay, love. I’ll bring you some.”
She shook her head, “No, I’ll be out in a few minutes. I could use some fresh air and maybe a quick wash, try to get my second wind.”
Joss took her time, checking on Ryan and monitoring his vitals. As soon as she sat down with him, Charles kissed her on the forehead and wandered away, leaving them alone. She lovingly washed Ryan’s face, smiling when he opened his eyes for her. She tried to pretend he could see her, but she knew he was barely processing what was happening.
“I love you,” she whispered, overcome with emotion. She grasped his hand gently, tears rolling down her cheeks. To her surprise he weakly squeezed her hand in return. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. He was still in there, reassuring her, telling her he loved her too, in the only way he could.
“Oh Ryan, please don’t die,” she sobbed, raising his hand to her lips. “Please baby, please.”
* * *
It took everything she had to leave Ryan’s side, but she knew she needed to take care of herself if she was going to be at her best for him. After leaving him in Charlie’s hands she met Daniel by the fire and choked down the breakfast he’d prepared for her. They didn’t talk, they didn’t have to. She just appreciated him taking care of her, of quietly loving her and acknowledging her pain.
She could see he was suffering too. The island had forced them together, but away from civilization, and the distractions of everyday life, they were offered a chance to bond in ways that sometimes took years in the real world, especially for men. It was actually a beautiful and inspiring thing to witness. Daniel and Ryan were probably the closest of all the men, a true bromance, and Danny’s pain went just as deep as her own. He was a sweet soul, and her heart ached for him.
After changing into her bathing suit and gathering some clean clothes, she wrapped a towel around herself and slowly walked down to the lagoon, exhaustion heavily weighing her down. She hoped the cool water would refresh her enough to get through the rest of the morning. As she approached the shore she saw Willie sitting in the shallow water, holding his head in his hands.
“Good morning,” she whispered, gently resting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her with sad eyes and smiled, placing his own hand over hers.
“Morning.”
“Do you mind if I join you? I was just going to wash up,” she asked, not wanting to disturb his solitude.
“Please,” he invited, pulling her towards him. She sat in front of him, nestled between his legs, both of them facing the serene water. He cradled her in his arms, resting his head against hers, and they sat together, quietly gathering strength from one another.
After a few minutes, he began bathing her, tenderly washing her hair and body. He just wanted to care for her, to nurture and protect her. The old Joss would have been uneasy, resisting the unconditional love and affection, but Willie had a way of making her feel cherished, safe, adored. She knew he just wanted her to feel loved. His intentions were honorable, just like him. As soon as he finished she leaned back against his chest.
“That feels better,” she sighed. He wrapped his arms around her once more, lightly kissing the top of her crown.
“I know it isn’t much, but I wanted to do something. I feel so helpless,” he mumbled, his words choked with his own grief.
“It’s okay. I know,” she soothed, closing her eyes to stop her tears.
“I’ve been praying for him. For some kind of miracle,” he continued quietly. “I was raised to believe in God, worshipping every Sunday. I forgot how powerful it could be...faith.”
“I’m not sure what I believe, Willie. There have been days that I felt divinely guided, but right now I just feel empty. I don’t want to lose him...”
“I know...I don’t want to lose him either. I’ve grown so close to him, to all of you...”
“Shhh...” Joss interrupted, sitting forward. Willie looked at her thoughtfully, trying to understand what he’d said wrong.
“Sorry?”
“Do you hear that?” she asked, cocking her head, her eyes suddenly wide with confusion.
“What am I listening to?”
“That! Do you hear it? That humming noise?” she gushed, pulling herself out of the water. She ran to the beach and wrapped the towel around herself, Willie close on her heels.
“I do! What is that?” he laughed, raising his eyes to the sky.
“It’s a plane!” she squealed, grabbing his arm.
“It is a fucking plane! We need to get the flare gun!” he hollered, pulling her up the embankment.
“Hurry,” she choked, suddenly terrified they’d be too late to signal it. “Run!”
The hum was getting louder, closing in on their island. It seemed such a foreign sound, having been isolated from civilization for nearly two months. Had Willie not heard it too, Joss would have thought she was imagining things.
“There it is, Christ, it doesn’t see us! It’s going to pass us by!” Willie cried out, waving his hands in the air, desperate to make himself seen.
“No!” Joss screamed, waving along with him, the tightness in her throat strangling her. She felt her heart sinking into her gut as her hope quickly dissipated. It couldn’t end that way, not when they were so close, not when Ryan needed it the most.
“It’s too late...” she cried, just as a shot rang out, scattering the hundreds of birds that had been resting in
the jungle trees.
Chapter 27
The noise in the waiting room was almost too much to bear; the constant bells and beeps, the blaring television, even hushed whispers sounded like screams. After the tranquil silence of their beach, it was stimulation overload. Joss sat awkwardly on an orange plastic chair, cradling her head in her hands, trying to block out the din, scared and exhilarated at the same time. Over the past eight hours she’d experienced every emotion under the sun, and truthfully, she was in a paralyzing state of shock.
She was sandwiched between Danny and Charlie, with Willie sitting across the aisle. They’d spoken very few words over the past several hours, all of them still trying to wrap their brains around the events that took place. Everything seemed so surreal, dreamlike, since Grant had shot off the flare.
Under normal circumstances, they would have been celebrating their rescue, but it was impossible to be happy when Ryan couldn’t celebrate with them. As soon as the seaplane landed at the marina in Vanua Levu, they whisked him away by air ambulance and took him to the Labasa Hospital. It seemed to be a decent facility and the medical team wasted no time administering care. By the time the rest of them had arrived to the hospital, he’d already been admitted to intensive care, his treatment underway.
Joss was confident his celebrity status would ensure the best care possible. Reporters were swarming the hospital, but thankfully security kept them well behind the barricades. She wasn’t ready to talk to anyone, not until Ryan was out of the woods. One thing was certain; within a day or two the little island of Vanua Levu would be inundated with press from every corner of the globe. They weren’t just coming for Ryan. It seemed as though they’d all gained some notoriety during those fifty-nine days, lost in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Their story had hit every news station and front page around the world, going viral across social media. It was no surprise really, given the passenger list of the small, ill-fated plane.
Once they’d arrived at the hospital they were all examined. Joss insisted she was fine, that aside from Ryan they were in good health, but the doctor’s wanted to be thorough. The world was watching. She hadn’t seen Grant for hours. The last she saw of him, he was walking out the door with some serious men in suits. Joss assumed they were investigators from the Civil Aviation Authority of Fiji, wanting to question him about the crash. He had turned around before exiting the building, searching for her. Their eyes briefly met and he smiled at her; then he was gone. She hoped he was okay and a small part of her wished that she was with him, offering him her loving support. She hated that they were separated from him. It was like a piece of her heart went missing.
“Hello. I’m Dr. Lasuma.”
Joss looked up to see a short, Polynesian doctor standing nervously in front of them. He turned and gave Willie a solemn look, wordlessly inviting him into the conversation. Willie quickly stood up and joined them, comically dwarfing the young doctor.
“I know you’ve all been waiting on news about your friend,” he continued, making eye contact with each of them. Joss nodded nervously as soon as his eyes landed on her.
“He’s a very sick man but we are doing everything we can. I’m confident that as his treatment continues he’ll gradually improve, but it will be a slow process. He was very lucky. Had he gone one more night without medical care, he probably wouldn’t have survived,” he said, demonstrating his point with a frown.
“Can we see him?” Joss sighed, releasing her breath. She felt like she’d been holding it since they’d arrived, anxiously waiting for news.
“He’s resting, and I highly encourage you all to do the same. Your bodies need sleep. It’s been a highly charged and emotional day for all of you. You’ve been under a great deal of stress,” the doctor encouraged, patting Willie on the back, his hand barely passing his belt line. “When you come back in the morning I’m sure you’ll see a vast improvement.”
“We will, Doctor,” Charlie assured, reaching for Joss’ hand, “but I don’t think we can go without at least saying goodnight, even if Ryan is asleep.” Joss nodded vigorously in agreement.
“That’s fine, but please, only one at a time. I’ll send a nurse to bring you to his room,” he agreed reluctantly, then as an after thought added, “maybe you haven’t found a hotel yet? The Northwinds is only a kilometer away if you want to call them to book? Hopefully they’ll have some vacancy.”
“I already booked it, Doc,” Charlie said, “I jumped on it as soon as I saw the media circus out front.”
“That was wise,” the doctor agreed. “I can arrange for security to get you there when you’re ready to go.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Joss said, standing up to shake his hand, the others following suit. They watched him walk away, not taking their eyes off him until he disappeared between the double doors he’d come through.
As promised, ten minutes later they were escorted through the hospital to Ryan’s room, where they took turns sitting by his side, holding his hand, sharing their encouraging sentiments. Sleeping or not, it was reassuring to be near him, even for only for a few minutes.
“Well, we made it here, my love, now it’s all up to you,” Joss whispered, kissing him goodnight. “Fight as hard as you can and come back to me.”
* * *
Maybe to the outside world it would have seemed unusual that Joss was sharing a hotel room with three men, and surely tongues were wagging, but for them it was anything but strange. In fact, it would have been more daunting had they been in their own rooms, separated from one another after sleeping in the same close quarters for two months. She was certain she would’ve had a panic attack had she’d been forced to sleep alone, and she’d told Charlie as much when he’d offered to book them individual suites.
In truth, it would probably take months for her to adjust to being alone. It suddenly dawned on her that her isolated little house in the mountains of Washington, a place she once loved, no longer felt like home. She wasn’t sure she belonged there anymore. She was no longer the girl that once relished a solitary life. Aside from the obvious relationships she’d developed, she’d grown accustomed to the company, the affection, and the warmth of the family they’d all created. It had become as important to her as breathing.
Everything about the hotel room seemed alien. Easily flipping on the lights when they walked in the room, the hot water flowing freely from the shower, the smell of the lilac shampoo as she washed her hair, even the bed was surprisingly uncomfortable; and she felt like she’d been picked up and transported to another planet. There was something about survival that kept a person grounded, aware, connected to the moment. This was all so effortless, and disengaging. It had not dawned on her until that moment how easy it was to move through life on autopilot; technology had a way of dumbing people down, forcing detachment. She felt so numb. It wasn’t until the lights went out, curled protectively by Charlie, that she finally felt whole again.
Chapter 28
“Hi Mom, it’s me,” Joss whispered into her cell phone. She was sitting on the bathroom floor, the only space in the hotel room that offered her a little privacy.
“Jocelyn?” her mother cried, “honey, it’s really you?”
“It’s me, mom,” Joss choked, suddenly overcome with emotion, just hearing her mother’s voice.
“I tried calling your cell yesterday as soon as I heard the news! My God, it’s a miracle!”
“Yeah, sorry about that. We literally had 5 minutes to throw our belongings together before we were whisked away. It was so chaotic, mom. We had to leave almost everything behind. I threw my cellphone in my bag but didn’t get a chance to charge it until late last night.”
“It’s okay, I knew you would call. At least I hoped you would. I know things were tense between us before...this...” Mary hesitated, her words dropping off.
Joss shook her head, holding the phone tight to her ear. None of that mattered anymore. “Of course I’d call,” she replied, “I’ve had a lot of time to think
about things, and the truth is, mom, family is all that matters, being with people you love and who love you. I realize how important that is now.”
“Yes, it’s true. I tried to tell you that,” Mary chuckled, gently scolding her.
Joss shrugged her shoulders, despite the fact that her mom couldn’t see her. She couldn’t ever recall her mother talking to her about the importance of family, or even making an effort to mend their relationship, but bringing that up now didn’t feel appropriate. Not at all.
“I suppose,” Joss conceded, curling her knees up to her chest protectively.
“So when will you be coming home? So many people will want to see you. You know we had a memorial service for you just three weeks ago, the day they announced that they were changing the search and rescue to a recovery mission. We’d all given up hope,” her mother announced tightly. “Your friend Hannah was there. She came all the way to Portland, can you believe that?”
“I can believe it. I’m sure it was really hard for her. I was supposed to be at her wedding, you know” Joss agreed. Hearing Hannah’s name made her smile. She couldn’t wait to see her again. Hannah would never believe her crazy story. Joss could barely process it. “I think I will stay here for a little while. Honestly we haven’t talked about our plans.”
“We?” Mary asked, her tone pressing for more.
Joss ignored the question. She’d not really thought about what might happen next. Everything had changed so suddenly. The truth was, they’d climbed on that plane two months earlier as five complete strangers, with lives of their own, and those lives were about to commence again, right where they’d left off. What that meant moving forward was anyone’s guess. Maybe once they parted, the island would seem like a dream, a distant memory that had no place in their every day life. Maybe they would never see each other again. Joss clutched at her breast, the weight of that reality suddenly pressing against her heart. It was hard to breathe.
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