He’s moving his hands over my body, just like in my dream! He embraces me a little tighter and, oh shit! I can feel his—oh, it’s so hard already! Wow he must really like me! He’s pressed right up against me and—
Oh, I can’t do this! Shit! Stop now before it’s too late!
I laugh awkwardly, trying to cover up my terror as I pull away. “What are we doing...?” I ask, sighing.
“Well, I thought it was pretty obvious…?” he says. I really hope he doesn’t expect anything now.
“I work for you, and you’ve got to go pick up your daughter. We can’t do this if it will end up with her getting left or forgotten about. It’s late… you should go get her.” I try to smile as I speak, knowing it’s not the real reason why. But it’s a decent reason and he seems to understand.
He sighs, “You’re right. I should go, this... this isn’t right. Friends...?” he puts his hand out again and I shake it. It’s a good final move, I think?
Joe gets in his limo and gets driven away. This is ridiculous. I’m such an embarrassment! Like I can’t even keep a handle on my emotions and I acted like a slut.
I sigh and trudge back into my apartment. I’ve got work tomorrow, it’s fine. We’ll be fine. I flop down onto my bed and have a small tantrum, kicking clothes onto the floor.
Just sleep. Tomorrow will be fine.
I guess.
“I can’t believe you almost let me leave…” Joe whispers to me.
It appears that he’s visiting me in my dreams again. Why can’t you just leave me alone! This is starting to feel like such a school girl crush. But I swear he likes me too, and I know we’d be great, but I’m sure we can’t. If anything went wrong, I couldn’t bear it.
We crash through my door and land on my bed, and our clothes seem to disappear as we kiss. I love kissing him so much and I know what it really feels like now, what his lips feel like, and where his hands tend to move. I can’t stand it. I just want him to take me whenever I see him!
How am I supposed to work in these conditions? I know what it’s like to kiss him now, and I’m going to have to hold back!
He softly bites into my neck, causing me to moan. I suppose I don’t have to think about being professional here in my own dream. I can be whoever I want to be inside my head.
“Do you trust me?” he whispers, his hands ghosting over my exposed skin.
“Of course,” I whisper back. I can hear him laughing a little, what’s he going to do? What possible thing could my mind have cooked up? I suppose there was that rope I found in the back of his wardrobe.
He’s not going to know that I’ve never even thought about this kind of thing! Now I’m dreaming about it.
I look up to see Joe standing at the foot of my bed, he’s fully erect and grinning, with a black feather in one hand and a blindfold in the other. My hands are tied to my headboard and my legs are bound, spread as wide apart as they go. I can’t help giggling, naughty boy, Joe. What are you going to do to me?
He leans over me, trailing kisses up from my waist, over my breasts and up to my neck. He puts the blindfold on me, triggering my other senses. Now I can feel his gentle touches so vividly that my skin prickles as he brushes past me, making me shiver. I can smell his cologne, just like last night.
This is so strange. I have no clue what he’s about to do, and it’s so exciting!
“Oh!” I shudder as he gently moves the feather over my breasts. My nipples are so sensitive as they harden, begging for his kisses.
I can’t help giggling as the feather moves to my hips. I’m extremely ticklish there. He moves back to my breasts, and I inhale sharply. Then nothing for a moment, he’s making me wait and it’s excruciating.
I wish he would just fuck me like he did in my dream the other night. It was so passionate and crazy… like nothing I’ve felt before. Joe always makes me feel like that, when we kissed earlier and on our date. It was incredible.
I can feel his breath against my inner thigh. I shiver and he kisses between my legs, moving closer and closer to my clitoris. Suddenly I feel a soft and warm sensation. He’s moving his tongue up my lips. He’s moving painfully slowly and I have to scrunch up my toes to keep from shaking. His tongue is amazing. I wish I could feel it for real… I want him to kiss me all over, taste my intimate flesh and make me his forever. The way he licks me down there is just insane, I didn’t know someone could be so good at it!
He’s probably had a lot of practice. But he wants to use all of his power on me now. I’m his naughty little thing, and he can do what he wants to me, whenever he wants.
I feel like I’m soaking down there as he moves his finger up through my lips. I shudder and gasp as he slowly inserts his finger inside me. He starts off slow, moving in as far as he can go, then slowly pulling out again, stimulating the soft squishy part inside me that makes me want to scream.
I want him to make me cum, not like my last dream where I just woke up wanting. I want to feel it just like I would in real life. I can’t take how much I want him! He speeds up and I start to writhe. He places his hand on my chest and holds me down, and suddenly—I feel like I can’t move. It’s like I can’t breathe. I want him to stop—please stop!
I wake up abruptly, sitting up in a cold sweat and panting like I’ve just been running a marathon. I can’t keep thinking about him like this! Why did it start to get scary at the end? It was just like… just like the last time. I can’t do that again. That was the worst day of my life, and I can’t think of Joe like that! He’s never done anything to hurt me, especially like that.
This needs to stop. I don’t even know what it feels like at all, because of that.
I’m twenty-four years old and I’m still a virgin! How can I even show my face to someone like him? He’s probably been with tons of women, and left a trail of them in sex comas after giving them the best orgasm of their lives.
I’m just a naive girl who doesn’t know anything about sex and I’m thinking all this crazy stuff about a guy that I’ve barely kissed. And he’s my boss for heaven’s sake! I’m supposed to be a good role model for his daughter, but all I’m doing is throwing myself at a man I barely know. That’s a great lesson for Marnie, isn’t it? If you fancy someone, just be as needy as possible and eventually they’ll come around.
Ugh, I’m literally the worst. I bet he thinks I’m crazy! Saying one thing, then doing another.
Oh God, what if he knows? What if he knows I’m really just some kid, clinging to my innocence like a security blanket?
No, I... forget it.
I sigh to myself as I get out of bed, a shower will help clear my head. I need to have a serious think about this… and everything else.
As I drop my joggers to the floor and throw off my yoga top, I take a look at my body in the mirror.
My face, cute I guess… still as freckled as I was when I was little, and maybe my eyebrows need looking at, but it’s not bad. I always thought my frame was a little dumpy, but I think it’s just because I’m short. I’m actually quite skinny.
Tits… I guess they’re quite perky and kind of cute, but I’ve not really seen a lot of tits before, so I don’t really have much to compare them to.
Which brings me to you… not really sure what to call it? A pussy…? Well, I’ve definitely only seen mine so, it could be hideous for all I know.
Now, on to what my dreams seem to miss. I turn to see the scars on my rib cage, barely noticeable now. But I can still see them, a few faint scratches and a splotch where a large bruise once was.
Not really much I can do about it. I’ve gotten away from it now. I’ve recovered and taken huge steps from who I was back then. And from what he did to me.
I’ve never felt like that about anyone before or since, but now…Joe. It’s been a few days and already I’m acting like none of those things even matter. The way Joe looks at me sometimes, it’s like I’m a princess.
I guess that’s why I stopped him last night. I didn’t want him to know
about who I was. Because I know that if I hadn’t stopped him, he would have come up to my room and I would have let go of everything and he would have seen it all, all my scars. And he wouldn’t like me after that. Who would?
He won’t find out. Because I’m not going to tell him.
Anyway, what was I doing? Oh yeah, shower. Very cold shower.
Chapter 12
Ella
“Come on guys, you know I’m not one to kiss and tell,” I say in an attempt to keep the details of my date close to my chest. I just want to forget about it because I know we won’t be able to continue with any kind of relationship.
“So, you did kiss him!” Cameron shouts, as Kat giggles away.
“See, L! I knew we could get it out of you!” Kat says, nudging me in the side.
“Dammit, you guys, I just want to forget about it okay?” Why won’t they just leave me alone!
“Oh, come on L, you have to tell us, I mean did anything happen? Was he the one?”
“No,” I say sternly. At this rate nobody is going to be the one. I don’t care anymore.
“Alright, sorry, we’ll stop asking. But like, we want to know that you’re safe at least,” says Kat. “I mean, he was better than…you know… was he?”
Cameron and Kat look up at me, honestly wanting to know if Joe was any better than Aaron, my asshole ex-boyfriend from college.
“Of course he is. I mean, look at him. Joe is amazing,” I sigh.
The girls seem relieved and happy that Joe is a good guy, but we all know that a relationship won’t work.
“He was very sweet and he picked me up in his limo.” The girls’ ears prick up at the mention of a limousine, and I know they want to hear all about it, so I guess I can share some of the details.
“Oh. My. God! I’m so jealous.” Cameron gushes, “I’ve never been out in a limousine before! Did you stick your head out—”
“The window and go woo? Yes, of course I did! But that wasn’t until the end.” I roll my eyes, “It started off a little awkward, but then we got to talking at the restaurant. It was this gorgeous place on top of one of the skyscrapers in the middle of the city. It was incredible, you could even see the sunset!”
“Wow, L! It sounds so romantic,” Kat says, dreamily.
“He told me about what happened the other night, with his rich business friends from school. I kind of get why he was so drunk now. They seem like they’re pretty impossible to hang around with sober.”
“Oh good, so you forgave him then?”
“Yeah, I did. He was such a gentleman on our date. Then we had this incredible moment in the limo on the way home, and, well, I may have kissed him.”
The girls cheer and giggle away like school girls. I mean come on, is it really that big of a deal that I kissed him?
“How was it? Did he go in first? Was it more like this?” Cameron makes a smooched up face, puckering her lips, “Or was it more like this?” she sticks her tongue out and wiggles it at me.
“Ew, Cam, don’t be so gross.” Kat rolls her eyes, then pauses, “Okay, which was it?”
I can’t help laughing at them, “There was no tongue and I started it. We were leaning out of the sunroof and I tripped, he caught me, and it was a heat of the moment kind of thing okay?”
The girls sigh and almost faint back into their seats.
“This is such a great story, I’m excited for what happens next, you guys!” Kat exclaims.
“Oh crap, that guy over there is staring. I guess I better go wait on him,” Cam jumps up and heads over to the counter.
Kat stares back at the man and narrows her eyes.
“Something wrong?” I ask her.
“Yeah, that guy was staring at you. I don’t recognize him. Do you?” she asks.
I look over at the guy who is now apparently charming the pants off of Cam, because she is looking at him with complete googly eyes.
“No, I don’t. He was probably just trying to get someone’s attention to get served. Anyways, I’ve got to get to Joe’s.”
“Oooh!”
“For work!” I interrupt her with a hug before she can get excited.
I grab my bag and get up, I wave to Cam as I leave and notice that the guy she is serving is totally staring at me. How strange is that? Oh well, I’m actually in a good mood, weirdly. I’m not going to let it get to me!
* * *
I knock on the door to Joe’s and find myself wondering if I’m ever going to get a key. Is that something that nannies get? Or would that be weird? That I could just wander into his house whenever I wanted, even when he wasn’t here. What would I even do? I mean, I think I’ve already found the most interesting thing I could find. So what else would there be? Unless he’s got some crazy sex dungeon in the basement.
I really hope he doesn’t, I’m not ready for that... Or the laundry it might produce.
I can hear Joe running to the door now.
“Hi Ella, sorry about that. I was just trying to change a sheet,” he says, seemingly out of breath, like he ran down the stairs to get here.
“Are you alright?” I ask, as I step through the door, “Do you want some help?”
He pauses for a moment, almost as if he were just caught in a lie. Does it really take that much thinking to help change a sheet?
“Sure, that would be nice,” he laughs awkwardly.
Wow, what is with him today? He seems so jumpy, “So where’s Marnie?”
“Oh, she’s at an after school club. It’s actually good because I was hoping to get a few things sorted out before she got here if that’s okay?”
We go up the stairs and I follow him into his room, trying to act as if I’ve never seen his room before. The quilt and pillow are gently tossed on the floor next to the bed and there is a fitted sheet left in a pile on top of the bare mattress.
“I think it might have shrunk in the wash, because I can barely get it to stretch across now!”
“Hm. You men really can’t do anything without a woman around!” I stick my tongue out at him and I grab the end of the sheet. I stick one of the corners on and spread out the rest of the edges, “It should be easier if you get the opposite corner first.”
As Joe goes to pull the other side over the edge of the mattress I lean forward and push out the sheet as far as I can, I suppose I could have chosen a different position, but it’s actually hard not to be seductive around him. I find myself giggling to myself as I bend over on my knees at the end of his bed.
Joe looks up at me, about to speak, but chokes on his words as the sheet pings out of his hands.
“Come on Joe, it’s not that hard!” I laugh, handing the sheet back to him.
“I think you’ll find otherwise,” he kind of mumbles to himself, as he fits the corner of the sheet back on.
“What was that?” I raise my eyebrow at him.
“Uh—nothing,” he laughs and stutters.
We finish putting the sheets on and Joe goes to grab the pillows and covers. Am I a child? Maybe so, because I can’t stop myself from reaching for a pillow while his back is turned. I creep up behind him and smash him in the back of the head with the pillow, causing a very satisfying ‘whumpf ‘ as he drops the covers on the floor.
He looks up at me with a stern expression plastered across his face. I can’t help giggling and biting the tip of my finger nail. Aw come on, don’t look at me like that! I was only messing around.
Slowly, Joe goes to pick the pillow up off of the floor and he starts to laugh.
“You’re going to pay for that!” he says, swinging the pillow at me.
I laugh and scream as I dodge his swing and jump across the bed, grabbing one of the other pillows. I swing back at him, landing a few hits until he catches my pillow and throws it across the room so he can get me while I’m defenseless.
Quickly I dodge one throw and run past him, jumping on the bed to grab another pillow.
“Oh no you don’t!” he shouts at me, throwing his pillow and ju
mping forward to catch me on the bed.
We laugh and pant a little after running around, and I look up to see him on top of me on the bed. My mind blanks a little and I can’t remember what it was that I was doing.
He laughs a little nervously, unsure of what he was doing on top of me. He goes to speak and I land one last direct hit, right in his face with a pillow I managed to grab just before he jumped on me.
Joe rolls off and lays beside me, sighing, “I’m too old for this,” he says.
“Oh, come on, Joe. It’s just a bit of fun!” I reply.
“To you maybe, but for me, this is war! Just be thankful Marnie doesn’t have any water guns!”
So, surprise Marnie with water guns. Got it. I laugh to myself.
“So, what were you about to say? Before that pillow so rudely interrupted.”
“Right, yes of course. I wanted to go through Marnie’s schedule with you, and establish what times you should come in. Things like that, so we can make a proper time table for you.”
“Oh, right.” Remember, some people are actually professional when it comes to these things. Rather than being pillow fighting lunatics. “I think that’s a good idea.”
* * *
We sit in the kitchen together working out a full time schedule for me, and all I can think about is how not twenty minutes ago he was kneeling on top of me in his bed. My thoughts are driving me totally crazy, and I wonder how his are doing.
“Ella?” he asks.
“Oh, sorry, yes?” Ugh, my mind was in a whole other universe, what did he say? Get it together, L!
“How does that sound to you, is this a good schedule?” he asks, I assume for at least a second time.
“Uh, yeah it looks great!” I say, skimming over it, not really knowing completely what I was agreeing to.
“Great! So I’ll get it typed up and send a copy over to you tonight then.”
“Sure, thanks.”
I’ve got to change the subject so he doesn’t know I wasn’t paying attention.
Stranded Page 34
