by Rachel Dove
When she had opened the first clothing bag, she had been confronted with a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Comfy, but smart. The shoebox contained a pair of bright trainers, again trendy, modern and functional. She had guessed at something sporty, it was Cooper after all. She hardly expected an afternoon at the spa or a pottery class, but this was something else. Trevor had even sponsored the dive, so the veterans’ fund would be happy. She had no wiggle room to get out of it, and with Jamie being sat in the van ready to tag along, her fate was sealed. So here she was; after training that had terrified her to her very core, she was sat in a plane up in the air, strapped to a man who was so warm and comforting she wanted to straddle him for dear life, to escape what was coming. Final checks were being made, the path was set, and Cooper and Brad, his tandem, were moving to the now open doorway of the plane. As Kevin, her straddle-ee moved closer to them, Kate looked down at her feet, willing them to respond to her request, even as her own brain screamed at her to curl into a ball.
The wind and the sound of the engine filled her ears with white noise, and she kept trying to swallow, to spread whatever moisture was left around her mouth. Kevin squeezed her arm around, showing her the signal that they were nearly ready. Cooper’s voice cut through the wall of sound, and she looked up at him. His eyes caught her in their grasp, and for a second, everything stopped. His gaze told her so much, and she nodded in response. He nodded back, and was gone. She half-ran to the door, leaning over the edge to watch them fall. Kevin jolted behind her, surprised at her sudden movement.
‘Steady,’ he chuckled, and then suddenly they were watching the plane fall away. She had no breath. The urge to panic was immense, and she had to really concentrate on trying to breathe, to not panic and black out. She was suddenly grateful for the rather scary training they had done. It had been like a birthing class – teaching you how to breathe, to cope when the world span out of control. She thought again of those eyes, and she took a breath and opened her own. The plane was a dot now, as they fell through the clouds. She wiggled her head and caught sight of Cooper. He looked so alive, whooping and waving his limbs around as he laughed with Brad. He looked up at her as they came level.
‘Hey Missy, we’re flying!’
Kate laughed out loud, letting rip a whoop of her own. She had never felt so alive, so free. She laughed at herself, up in the air, away from the dry air at the centre. As they floated down to the ground, she felt someone grasp her fingers. Looking across, she squeezed Cooper’s hand back, and then they were gone, separate but together in their adventure. As the ground came up to meet them, Kate still had his hand on her mind. Even through her glove, she could still feel the heat of his touch.
Later that day, Kate had settled Jamie back into his room. She had never seen him so cheerful, so excited, not since before the accident. He was so proud of his mum doing a sky dive, he’d even been willing to talk to her, but that was short-lived. When he returned to the centre, his mood dulled a little, and Kate knew just how he was feeling. Coming back to the centre after the day out brought home just how much things had changed. She had made a decision, and now she just had to have the strength to pull the trigger. Things had to change, this limbo they were living in had to stop. Heading back to her room, she passed Trevor on the corridor.
‘Kate, how did your day out go – ow!’ He rubbed his arm. Kate drew back her fist again and he cowered in faux fear. ‘Okay, okay! I’m sorry! It raised money for the centre, what am I going to do? Say no?’
Kate moved as if to strike him again but pulled him in for a hug instead. ‘Thanks,’ she whispered into his ear. He hugged her to him.
‘Welcome. Glad you had a good day. How’s the patient?’
Kate pulled back a little, but Trevor kept his arms around her. ‘Doing okay today. Doing better, in fact.’
‘Good. Should be an easy transition then, when you see other patients too.’ Kate smiled, but it soon dropped when she thought about her time with Cooper changing. It wouldn’t be the same not seeing him every day, and he was the one thing that had made any dent on Jamie’s depression at all. When she put her plan into action, she would need all the help she could get, and she couldn’t pretend even to herself that Cooper hadn’t featured in her thoughts for the future. She just didn’t know how that would work, let alone in what capacity. Trevor must have sensed her discomfort, and he pulled her back, his arms gripping the top of her shoulders.
‘What’s the matter Kate, can I help?’ She sighed and looked at her mentor. His face was a picture of concern, and the emotions in his expression took her by surprise. His grip tightened on her shoulders, and she flinched. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye, but before she could look, Trevor lunged at her. The shock of his lips against hers made her gasp, and for a split second she didn’t react. She heard a noise from behind Trevor and it snapped her back to the present. She reached up and pushed his hands away, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. Trevor looked stricken, and he reached out for her hand. Kate backed away towards her room.
‘Kate, don’t go, I didn’t mean to—’
She cut him off with a raised hand. ‘It’s okay, it’s been a long day, I need to get changed.’ She headed for her room, running away from him. What the hell was that? Bursting through her room door, she flounced across the room and threw herself onto the bed. Had that just happened? She gripped the pillow, willing her racing heart to slow down. The odd thing was, as unexpected as the kiss was, it did provoke a response from Kate. Her mind was buzzing with the possibilities of how she felt, but she wouldn’t act on them just yet. She needed to put her plan into action first. Reaching into the pocket of her trousers, she pulled out a piece of paper. Dialling the number written on it into her phone, she held her breath as the call connected.
‘Hello,’ she said, willing her voice not to shake. ‘I need to hire your services.’
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Leaving her room later that evening, Kate felt like a baby deer, navigating her way down the hallway on her new limbs. The contents of the second dress bag and shoe box scared her more than the first, and it had taken her ages to will herself to get ready. Cooper had told her that afternoon to be ready for 7pm, but she hadn’t spoken to him since, and it was ten past seven now. The dress she was wearing was exquisite, with a designer tag that had made Kate blush. It was a deep, midnight blue, cut from layers of silk that clung to her form. Kate was grateful that she hadn’t quite gone to seed since being there. It felt amazing against her skin, and she had even managed to dig out a half-decent halter bra and knickers from her meagre belongings. The dress was strapless, but fitted around her chest perfectly, not showing too much of her ample bosom, and the long skirt swished as she walked to the main doors. Jamie was having a pizza and movie night with Rita, who stayed on site some nights to save herself the long commute. She wondered what her son would make of her dressed like this. She stumbled on her heels as she thought of what Cooper might say when she saw her, but she reached for the railing, steadying herself. Lifting her dress slightly, she frowned at her shoes. They were stilettos, the same shade of blue as her dress, encrusted with intricate crystals around the sides. She rubbed at her heel, unaccustomed to wearing such nice things. She righted herself, and half-jogged, half-limped to the main entrance as the clock on the corridor struck quarter past. She was never late, and she found herself anxious to see Cooper again. And then she saw him and her heart screeched to a halt, her breath seizing in her throat.
He was in his chair, sitting sideways on to her, looking towards the outside at the waiting minibus. He was wearing a navy blue suit, the white shirt bringing out the green in his eyes. His hair was freshly washed, cut into a fashionable style. It suited him, and Kate found herself wanting to touch it. She flexed her hands in reflex, tightening them around the tiny matching clutch she held, containing some money, a lippie and her phone, in case Jamie needed her. She looked again at Cooper, and locked onto his green eyes. She smiled,
butterflies exploding in her stomach, and made to walk to him quicker, but his expression made her falter. He looked furious, anger evident in the set of his jaw and the flash of his eyes. He was trying to hide it, she could tell, and he eventually relaxed a fraction, returning a slight smile. She felt his eyes take her in, and saw his expression change again. She knew just what he was thinking now too, and she tried to mask her own reaction of confusion. The want in his eyes was evident, and even though she didn’t understand his mood, she took a little satisfaction from the fact that he obviously approved of her outfit.
‘You’re late,’ he growled, nodding his head towards the waiting minibus.
‘I’m sorry, not used to heels,’ she replied sadly. She had hoped that they were finally getting somewhere, but she could see that the carefree man of this afternoon was gone again. She walked closer to him, and he didn’t look at her, focusing intently on the doors.
‘I’m sorry,’ she ventured again, but he just shook his head.
‘Doesn’t matter,’ he retorted gruffly.
They walked awkwardly towards the doors, and as she opened the doors wide for him, she noticed he had two legs. Two. He looked like a different person, just for a moment. She resisted the urge to squeal at him, and composed herself as he came past. He was wearing his prosthetic. As he settled himself into the minibus, the driver packing up his chair, she sat next to him gingerly. He didn’t look at her, focusing instead on the view outside the window. She glanced at his feet, encased in matching black dress shoes, and wondered how he would look, stood up in his smart clothes. She felt a pang as she thought of him out in the world; walking, running, dating, living his life before serving his country had torn it apart. What sort of man was he, before? She caught the odd glimpse, the cheeky humour, the daredevil streak, but that was all choked now, wrapped in tendrils of bitter grief and anger.
It was getting dark, the sky a fetching shade of crimson and orange, splashed across the sky against the remnants of the paler hue of the dying blue horizon. She clenched her fist and braved another look at him as they pulled away. His head turned quickly, his jaw tensing. He once again turned to the window. Had he been watching her? His jaw twitched as if in response to her unspoken question.
‘Are you at least going to tell me where we’re going, all dressed up?’ she asked, her words clipped. He flinched at her tone, and turning to look at her, the look in his eyes made the blood in her veins freeze. It was a look of pure pain, anger. She didn’t know whether to hug him or run for the hills screaming. ‘Cooper, what on earth is the matter?’
His lip curled in disgust. ‘Boyfriend not tell you about the party?’
She frowned, the confusion on her face evident. ‘What boyfriend?’
He didn’t answer, his green eyes seemingly pleading with her to tell him something. She just didn’t understand what. Did he know about Neil? She flushed, wondering who had told him. She could feel her face redden, and hot tears sting her eyes. The first night out in forever, and she was sat all dressed up, not wanting to cry in front of this beautiful, broken man. A single tear escaped as she bit her lips, and she wiped it away quickly. The driver kept going, seemingly oblivious to the angry exchange in the back. Cooper’s expression softened, and he pursed his lips, blowing out a frustrated breath.
‘Kate, for god’s sake …’
‘I don’t understand why you’re angry with me!’ She cried, her voice quivering from the effort of reining in her emotions. ‘Neil has nothing to do with you!’
Cooper’s jaw dropped. ‘Who the hell is Neil?’
‘My husband! He’s not in the picture anymore, and I don’t want to talk about it! Who told you, anyway?’
Cooper looked stricken. ‘You’re still married?’ It came out more like a deflated statement than a question. He didn’t know? Where the hell did he think she was keeping a secret husband? In her room? She let out a frustrated growl, covering her face with her hands.
Cooper sat silently next to her for the rest of the journey. They both sat shell shocked till they stopped outside a fancy hotel. Kate recognised the place. She had been here before for conferences with work. They had a pretty impressive ballroom too. It would have been a nice place to visit with Cooper, but she knew the night was ruined now. She sat clutching her bag, staring intently at the back of the seat in front. She felt numb; she wanted to run but she didn’t trust her legs not to betray her. The driver got out, grabbing the chair from the back. He opened the passenger side, putting the chair in position. Kate went to move, but Cooper’s open hand covered hers, stopping her. He reached for his wallet, and pulling off a note, he talked to the driver in hushed tones. The driver shrugged good-naturedly and walked off towards the smoking hut, lighting up on his way to some service staff puffing away in the shelter.
‘Are we going back?’ she asked quietly, not trusting herself to look at him.
‘What?’ his reply came, softer than before. ‘No Kate, I would still like to go out, if you like. We’re here now.’ He sounded dejected. ‘I just need to know what’s going on with you. Are you really still married?’
Kate nodded, keeping her eyes focused forward. ‘Yes, but it’s over. I have taken steps this last few days to end it officially, but it’s over. It has been for a long time.’
She felt Cooper relax a little at the side of her, and she allowed herself to breathe a little. She was kind of glad he knew. It was nice to speak the words out loud.
She felt his gaze on her, and flushed. He was looking at her again, but she didn’t want to see that look in his eyes again, so she didn’t chance it. Her heart couldn’t take it.
‘So now you’re with Trevor?’ he asked, his voice sounding as unsteady as she felt inside.
‘Trevor?’ she said, baffled. ‘No, of course not!’ She laughed a little, the random thought amusing her.
‘Don’t laugh at me,’ he said, his voice low. She stopped laughing. His tone felt like a slap in the face. ‘I saw you today.’
Realisation dawned, and her head snapped to face him. ‘You were there? Why didn’t you say something?’
‘What would I say?’ he asked, his words firing at her like bullets. ‘Nothing to do with me, is it?’ he added.
Kate looked at him, his features twisted with pain and hurt, and she snapped.
‘No, it bloody well isn’t! My life is fucked up enough as it is, without having to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry the pathetic details!’ She angrily brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face, throwing her clutch into the footwell.
‘Well,’ he sneered. ‘When you go around kissing every Tom, Dick and Harry, then people are going to ask questions, aren’t they!’
She turned to him, furious, and went to slap him. He was too fast for her, grabbing her wrist, one, then the other, as she went after him. The people in the smoking area, now surrounded by the falling dusk, all stopped talking, watching the scene with interest now, but Kate and Cooper were too busy glaring at each other to notice.
‘Calm down Missy, I call it as I see it.’
She resisted the urge to headbutt him, and growled at him instead.
‘Well you called it wrong, Captain,’ she spat. ‘My marriage was over a long time ago, and the accident was the last straw. And as for Trevor, if you’d stayed long enough, you would have seen me push him away. He kissed me, and I didn’t want him to.’
She tried to release her wrists, but he held them tight. ‘Really?’ he said, his tone changing.
‘Yes!’ she screamed in his face. ‘You should know me better than that by now!’
‘I do!’ He shouted back. ‘And that’s the problem!’
They both glared at each other, her futile attempts to get him to release her lessening as she felt the stirrings of lust in her stomach. He looked at her lips then, and she knew he was feeling something too. He turned her wrists around gently, taking her hands firmly into his. She squeezed them hard, scrunching her nose up with fury, and he laughed softly.
‘That the best you got?’ he teased. She was about to answer him when he pulled her hands around his waist. Gripping them firmly under his arms, he brought his hands up to her face slowly, stroking her cheeks with the backs of his hands.
‘I wonder, Missy,’ he said breathily. ‘If I try to kiss you, will you push me away too?’
Her breath was coming out in little gasps now, and she felt embarrassed about how turned on she was. A minute ago, she wanted to slap him, and now …
‘Sir, is everything okay?’ The damn driver was stood there, looking very uncomfortable. They looked at each other, Cooper taking one last look at her lips before pulling away, releasing her.
‘We’re fine man, and great timing, seriously.’
The driver chuckled, looking relieved that they hadn’t been killing each other in his vehicle. Cooper positioned himself in his chair, and held out his hand.
‘Shall we?’ he enquired. Kate noticed that he looked visibly rattled, and she knew that she felt the same. She put her hand in his, and the smile he flashed her felt like a lightning bolt through her body. She blushed, smiling back, and they started to head inside.
***
Having survived most of dinner with small talk about the food, the room, and the other guests, they were just waiting for dessert when Kate felt his eyes watching her across the table. The dining room was opulent to say the least, all chandeliers, white linen tablecloths and hushed music coming from the piano being played in the corner. Cooper had booked a table near the terrace, and the huge patio doors opened out in front of them, bringing with it a hint of honeysuckle from the foliage outside. The breeze occasionally brushed up her arms, and she could feel them tingling from the touch, as though Cooper himself were touching her with his gaze. The heat from their earlier exchange was still there, but it felt awkward, stilted even, to be there with him. She picked up her wine glass and taking a long sip, looked over at him. He was still watching her, a look of pure intensity. Swallowing hard, she felt her face flush and inwardly cringed at her body’s reaction to him.
