by Andrew Grey
“See, you appraised it without even thinking. And I never use it and keep it in the cupboard in the dining room because I have no idea where it came from. I have researched robbery reports in case it was reported stolen, but I can’t look everywhere in the country. Someday if I find out it does belong to someone else, I’ll return it to them.” James closed the lid. “I can’t enjoy something that beautiful because I don’t know where it came from.” He set the box aside, and Mattias’s gaze followed it for a second, but then he pulled it away. “I haven’t been able to enjoy anything that came from my parents because of its origins. Even if my mom gave me a receipt, I’d know where the money she got to buy it came from.” James sighed. “It really sucks, and taints every interaction I have with them. So yeah, the bells go off all the damned time, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“When was the last time you saw them?” Mattias asked, feeling some of James’s pain. For a good share of his life, he had wished he had real parents, someone to love him and take him out of the foster care system. He used to dream about it all the time. Mattias knew his mother was out there somewhere… and for a while, he used to wonder if she would come to find him. But that was a long time ago.
“I saw them at the holidays. I went down there to visit for a few days. It was difficult for me.” James leaned back in the chair. “I wonder about everything they have and what my dad is doing all the time. After three days, I had to come home just to stop the worrying. Dad doesn’t think about any of it, but I can’t get away from the hypocrisy, and I know it’s of my own making. They don’t feel any of it.” He shook his head, and Mattias saw the conflict raging in James’s eyes. It had probably been there for years.
“At least you have them,” Mattias said. “They’re there, and they support you and love you, even if you are on two sides of a moral dilemma.”
“Yes, they do.” James finished his wine and tossed the bottle into the recycling. “Do you want some more?”
“I’d better not.” If Mattias drank more, he’d end up even more maudlin than he felt at the moment.
“Do you know your mother’s name?” James asked. “I could try to find her. There are databases that I can use. If you know her full name and place of birth, things like that, I could try to see if she’s alive and where she lives.”
Mattias shook his head. If she’d been out of his life for this long, he didn’t need her now. “It’s probably not a good idea.” Part of him was afraid, and always had been, that she’d reject him yet again. It was better for him not to know and to just go on with his life than to try to find her. Mattias stood and started to clear the table. Some activity to keep his head somewhat clear.
James put his hand on Mattias’s arm, and he jumped, nearly dropping the dishes. He’d been so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn’t heard him get up. “It’s okay. I know this is a tough idea. I was only offering to help.”
“I know. And if you had asked me at a different time in my life, I probably would have jumped at the chance to try to find her. But there’s no use now. She has her life, wherever that is, and I have mine.” It would have been nice if she’d come back after Nana and Poppy had been killed. That was when he’d needed his parents the most. Not only had he lost the two people he loved most in the world, but he’d found himself with no home and no one to care for him.
“Did your grandparents leave you anything?”
Mattias shrugged. “My mother was still in their will. So everything was a mess, and I have no idea what happened to any of it. The state probably took everything to pay for my care.” He sat back and half closed his eyes, watching James. “You know, some more wine or something isn’t such a bad idea.” Maybe these memories coming to the fore, the ones he thought he’d pushed back and locked away, just needed to be forgotten forever… or at least for now.
“I have some really good vodka,” James offered. He got the bottle out of one of the cupboards and set it on the table with a container of ice and some grapefruit juice. Then he took care of the dishes while Mattias mixed up some greyhounds, and they moved to the living room and more comfortable chairs. “Let’s talk about something more interesting.”
Mattias snickered. “Like surgery without anesthetic?”
“Or maybe the last time I had a colonoscopy.” James shuddered.
Mattias narrowed his eyes, wondering what was going on there. That was something people older than James generally had. Did he have health issues?
“Maybe we could talk about plans for peace in the Middle East. That could take all night,” Mattias offered. James raised his glass, and Mattias followed, drinking a healthy—or actually, an unhealthy—amount.
James emptied his glass and set it aside. Then he laid his head back on the chair and closed his eyes. “This is such a bad idea,” he whispered.
Mattias wondered what he was referring to. Sitting here drinking, yeah, he could probably agree, but Mattias got the idea that wasn’t what James was talking about, especially when his incredible eyes slid open and the temperature in the room rose by ten degrees in as many seconds. Mattias shivered—not from cold, but from the intensity of being held in the tractor beam that was the line between James’s eyes and his. He couldn’t look away, no matter how many times he told himself he should, or that this was indeed a bad idea. Mattias’s heart thumped in his chest loudly enough that he was sure it could be heard in Pittsburgh. Still, he remained motionless, afraid to move, yet almost as afraid not to.
James slowly, almost in slow motion, got to his feet and crossed the distance between them. Mattias blinked and pressed back into the chair as James placed his hands on the upholstered arms, the frame creaking slightly with the additional weight. He blinked, James blinked, but their gazes never faltered. James licked his lips, and Mattias did the same, as though he were under his spell. Then James drew closer; finally, their lips touched.
Mattias was prepared for a gentle kiss, but what he got was a ravishing of lips and tongue, sending his spirit soaring and his libido through the roof. Breathing was secondary. This had to continue, because stopping and those lips pulling away would be like taking something precious and long sought and throwing it away.
It did end. Mattias panted and thought of pulling James back in for another when James turned away and, without a word, climbed the stairs.
Chapter 6
JAMES HAD to get out. The few brain cells that weren’t steeped in alcohol screamed at him to stop. The rest of his brain yelled that he was being fucking stupid and to get back down there, kiss the ever-loving fuck out of Mattias, and maybe sling his skinny ass over his shoulder, carry him upstairs…. James leaned against the wall as his head spun from the thoughts running around in rapid little circles like a hamster on a damned wheel. The alcohol was supposed to stop all that shit, but instead it was only getting worse.
He breathed deeply, only to get a huge whiff of his own toxic breath in return, and decided the best thing was to go to bed and try to sleep all of this shit off. But one thing was for sure—he might have had enough to drink to muddle his brain, but he hadn’t had enough to make the erection that had been throbbing for most of the evening go down.
James made it to the bathroom and splashed water on his face, then quickly brushed his teeth to rid his mouth of the residual alcohol taste. Footsteps on the stairs told him that Mattias was on his way up. He hurried and zipped across the hall to his room, closing the door on temptation before he could second-guess himself. This was the right thing to do. He had lived his entire life with a thief in the family—not that his father hadn’t provided for them and done his best for the family…. He hadn’t treated them badly. But James had long ago decided to dedicate himself to being on what he saw as the right side of the law, and getting involved with Mattias was flirting with that line a lot more than he could allow himself.
James got undressed and climbed into bed, turning out the bedside lamp. The room was bathed in blessed darkness, but it did nothing at all to calm the whirlin
g desire that ran through him. He closed his eyes, and instantly Mattias was there, slipping under the sheets next to him. James rolled over, his imagination—probably fueled by the alcohol—taking off on a flight of fantasy he wasn’t at all sure he should be taking, but after denying himself the reality, this was his only consolation.
HIS HEAD thumped and felt swollen. James slowly got up and padded to the bathroom for some pain reliever. He took the pills, drank an entire glass of water, and then opened the door, turned toward his room, and bumped into Mattias, who was coming the other way. James grabbed him to keep from knocking him over, and they ended up chest to chest, skin touching, sending heat instantly racing through him, and his addled brain into overdrive.
Mattias held him in return, one of his hands gripping James’s upper arm and the other cradling him around the waist. Under different circumstances, they might have begun to dance, but Mattias closed the distance between them and kissed him firmly. James stepped away, the wall pressing to his back, and Mattias came right along with him, pushing hard. Maybe dancing wasn’t such a bad idea, though getting horizontal was sounding like a better and better idea all the time. Thankfully, Mattias seemed to have the same notion, and guided him out of the hall into the master bedroom. James slid back on his own bed, with Mattias joining him, his weight pressing James deliciously against his own soft sheets. Why hadn’t he done this earlier? The answer eluded him as Mattias again took possession of his lips.
Damn, he had known Mattias was hot, but not energetic and as radiant as a live wire. James held him tightly as Mattias writhed on top of him, gliding his hips back and forth, sliding their cloth-covered erections alongside each other. James closed his eyes, whimpering slightly while trying the hell not to. He hated that his mind was still clouded and wished he’d been sharp enough to be able to remember every second of this. Sure, it might be a mistake, but if it was, it was certainly one he wanted to be able to recall.
“Jesus,” Mattias whispered into the darkness between them.
James stiffened. “What?”
Mattias ran his hands up James’s chest, pressing some of his weight against him. “You’re made of rocks. Hard, warm, smooth, sexy rocks.” Mattias petted him, and James chuckled from deep in his throat. James was ready to give Mattias something that was rock-hard and was about to tell him so when Mattias cut off the words with another kiss and slid his hands down along James’s side, hooking his boxers as he went and tugging them down his hips. They were gone soon enough, and Mattias’s went along with them. Naked, skin to skin, heat building between them, Mattias writhed slowly, undulating in a sort of dance that held James spellbound. It had been longer than he wanted to admit since he’d been with anyone in an intimate way.
“What’s got you sunk into your head?” Mattias asked, tugging James a little out of himself.
“Nothing,” he answered quickly—too quickly—sliding his hands down Mattias’s back to cup his incredible ass in an attempt to cover up.
“Uh-huh.” Mattias hummed and leaned closer, his lips near James’s ear. “I know when a man is conflicted and fighting with himself, and I can pretty well guess what it’s about with you.” He tugged James’s earlobe with his lips, sucking on it, crossing James’s eyes because it felt so damned good. “I told you I don’t steal anymore, and I certainly don’t take what isn’t freely given.” Mattias stopped.
James tightened his hold on Mattias’s butt, pulling their hips together. He wanted this. His mind snapped into gear, and he realized just how much he longed for the intimacy. James rolled Mattias on the bed, pressing him into the mattress. He kissed Mattias forcefully, pouring how much he wanted and how freely he could give into each and every yearnful kiss and flick of his tongue. Mattias held on to him, giving himself right back and clenching on to him just as hard as James was holding Mattias.
Maybe, just maybe, this was something they both needed, and maybe if they held on and saw this through, whatever it was, James could find something he was missing—that they both were missing. That thought flashed through his head and was then obliterated by a blaze of passion that burned away everything else, leaving him bare and wanting.
JAMES WOKE hours later, as light was just starting to slip in through the windows. He wasn’t alone. Mattias lay next to him on the bed—well, half over him was a better description—and he radiated heat in all directions. James actually thought of trying to slip out of the bed and going downstairs, anywhere other than here where he was going to have to look Mattias in the eyes and attempt to make some sort of sense of what had happened. James had thought he’d done the right thing and tried to stay away. Still, he wasn’t a dick, and sneaking away was a pure A1 dick move, so he lay still and closed his eyes, listening to Mattias breathe.
When he came to once again, he was alone, the bedding still warm but the covers empty. It seemed Mattias wasn’t above sneaking out of bed, and that sent a jab of anger and relief running through James. At least he now had an excuse to ignore what had happened. Then Mattias filled the doorway.
“I put a little cream in your coffee, the way I saw you took it at the station,” Mattias said as he came in, boxers hanging on his hips. He sat on the edge of the bed and handed James the mug.
James sipped from the nectar of life and sighed. Mattias leaned against the headboard, stretching out next to him, legs crossed at the ankles as though he were completely comfortable. James did his best to ignore Mattias and concentrate on his coffee, but it was impossible.
“Ummm.”
Mattias turned slowly to watch him. “I take it you don’t want to talk about last night.” The levity in Mattias’s voice got right under James’s skin. “You know not talking about things doesn’t make them go away, and it isn’t going to change the fact that we slept together… for at least part of the night.” He turned and smiled, but James wasn’t sure what that meant. “I know you were still a little in the bottle last night.” Mattias slipped off the bed as he finished the last of his coffee.
“Okay. I probably was.” James could admit that, and at least that gave him an excuse.
Mattias set the mug on the nightstand and leaned close to him. “Judging by last night, I can’t wait to see what you’re like completely sober. I bet you’re one hell of a fantastic ride.” He picked up his mug and left the room.
James didn’t watch his ass swing slightly from side to side as he went. At least that’s what he told himself.
MATTIAS CHECKED his phone from the passenger seat. “Apparently they have the power fully restored now and I can return to my hotel.”
James nodded, figuring that was probably a pretty good idea and an easy way to remove temptation. “You should call to make sure everything is okay.” He breathed a sigh of relief as he continued the country drive toward the sheriff’s office. He yawned and listened as Mattias made his call. It was fairly clear within the first few seconds that things were not going well.
“You what…?” Mattias asked and shook his head before pulling the phone away. “They had a water leak in the fire suppression system, and the first floor of the hotel flooded. I’m going to have to try to find another place to stay.” He returned to the hotel operator, telling her to cancel everything for his stay and that he would find somewhere else. Then he hung up and began making other calls.
“Just stop. You can stay at the house. It’s stupid for you to try to find another place.” What was really stupid was that James was making this offer in the first place. Yet… part of him was intrigued, and the more he thought about what Mattias had said, the more he wondered exactly what had happened last night. James definitely needed to remember to drink less.
“Are you sure?” Mattias asked. “You’ve been weird all morning… quiet… even solicitous. That’s sort of freaking me out.” He set his phone on his lap. “I know you were weirded out after what happened, but it isn’t going to affect how we work together. You and I will be professional, and then tonight, after work, we’ll see what happens.”
The heated, almost prophetic expression reminded James of the cat about to eat the canary, knowing it had caught it and the delight was waiting to be savored.
Thank God, they approached the station. James pulled into the lot and parked next to Mattias’s car. Tonight they could each take their cars to the house—that way Mattias would be free to come and go on his own.
He shut off the engine and was about to get out when Pierre bounded down the steps and to the car. “There’s a robbery in progress on Market Street in Mechanicsburg. The local police are responding, but they called because it could be related to our case. Clay is heading right over there.”
James closed the car door again and pulled out, taking off away from town as quickly as he could. He was really getting tired of being two steps behind these people, and if they could catch them in the act, even some of them, they could have the chance to solve this case. Solly would be thrilled, Mattias would be out of his house and out of his life, and the conflict waging inside James would resolve itself.
He drove like a bat out of hell, full sirens and flashing lights. People pulled over on the country roads, and he whipped through traffic signals as he came into town. James made the turns at speed and arrived at the address he’d been given, where police cars already filled the street. He pulled to a stop and got out, looking for the officer in charge. It didn’t take long to find her coming out of the house, a stormy expression on her face.
“James,” she said, coming to a stop.
“Hey, Marie, what did you find?” James asked, exchanging a quick glance with Mattias.
She shook her head. “Sorry. It seems someone jumped the gun on this one. A neighbor kid, thinking the house was empty, broke in and tried to steal the television and computers. The kid thought he could make a few bucks and get back at the homeowner for calling the police on his party last Saturday.” She rolled her eyes. “We have him in custody and are going to transport him. I’m sorry that you got called out here.”
