My stomach felt like a toothpaste tube squeezed empty, but I knew that if I even smelled food, I was likely to throw up. I shook my head.
“No, thanks,” I told her. “Is Monica here?”
Jamie didn’t reply. “Brian and I were in the dining room,” she said. “Come talk to us. We haven’t seen you around in a while.”
I nodded. ‘Yeah,’ I thought as I walked slowly behind Jamie into the bright house, ‘because your daughter vanished, and you didn’t even give a fuck.’
Brian was sitting at the dining room table, papers spread out in front of him. He had that exact same intense look that Monica had worn that afternoon in the library. He didn’t even glance up when he saw me. It wasn’t until I’d sat down across from him that he finally seemed to acknowledge my presence.
“Hey, Elizabeth,” Brian said. He smiled easily. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Thought you might be jealous of that boyfriend, or something.” He laughed.
Jamie joined in, and I forced an awkward smile as Monica’s parents hooted with laughter.
“Uh, yeah,” I said quickly. “I mean, no, I’m not jealous of David.”
“When Jamie and I got together, her sister acted like a real banshee,” Brian said. He smirked. “Remember that, hon?”
“She was jealous,” Jamie said. She nodded. “Probably because she wasn’t used to anyone getting attention but herself,” she added. “Elizabeth, I wouldn’t worry. I know Monica isn’t really serious about that boy.”
I smiled tightly and swallowed. “Right,” I said. “Look, I really need to talk to Monica. Is she home?”
Jamie and Brian glanced at each other and shrugged. “Not that I know of,” Jamie said. “Did you try calling her?”
My heart sank. I didn’t want to think the worst, but I couldn’t help feeling like it was the weekend after the party all over again. Just what exactly was going on here?
“Can I look upstairs?”
Jamie laughed. “Sure,” she said. “But Elizabeth, I really don’t think she’s here. She told me she was going out for a while.”
I slumped. “Do you know if she’s with David?”
Jamie laughed again. “Elizabeth, if I tried keeping up with Monica’s schedule, I’d completely lose my mind. You know her.”
I squinted. “I don’t even know what that means,” I said dumbly.
“I’m sure she’ll be back soon,” Brian said. “She told me she has plans this weekend.”
I sighed. “Did…did she mention anything about today? Like, at school?”
“No,” Jamie said. She looked interested for the first time since I’d gotten there. “Why? What happened?”
I sighed. “I don’t really know,” I said slowly. “We were in the library, and Andrea came in–”
“That D’Amico girl?” Jamie narrowed her eyes. “The one who flipped out last year after that silly little thing?”
I nodded miserably. “Yeah,” I said. “Anyway, she came in to talk to Monica and um, something happened. I don’t really know what, but Andrea got hurt. She’s in the hospital in Manchester. Her leg is broken in two places.”
Jamie’s eyes widened. “You’re not saying Monica had anything to do with that, are you?”
I shook my head quickly. “No,” I said. “I just wanted to talk to her, that’s all. She kind of ran off after we finished talking to the principal.”
“Is Monica in trouble at school, Elizabeth?” Brian glanced up from his work, looking almost exactly like Monica when she eyed me over the rims of her glasses.
“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, at least as far as I know. She’s fine. I just really want to talk to her, that’s all.”
Jamie shrugged. “She probably feels terrible,” she said. “I mean, what a bad accident to happen to that girl,” she added. “But I know Monica didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“I’m not saying she did,” I replied. “I just think it’s…I don’t know, odd. That’s all.”
Jamie shrugged. “You kids all have so much energy,” she said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was some kind of psychic poltergeist thing.”
I narrowed my eyes, but Brian laughed.
“Elizabeth, here you go. That’s some real seventies psychology,” he said. He snickered. “My wife, the counselor.”
I stood up and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “I’m gonna go,” I said. “Could you tell Monica to call me back when she gets home?”
But Jamie and Brian weren’t even listening; they were sharing some anecdote from their days back in college, about poltergeists and teenagers. I rolled my eyes and slunk out of their dining room, feeling more unsatisfied than ever.
When I left Monica’s, I had no idea where to go. I wandered aimlessly for over an hour before I realized the D’Amicos were likely still at the hospital. ‘I should go to talk to Steven,’ I thought, my stomach churning with anxiety. ‘Maybe he can at least tell me what he said to Andrea.’
I was still winded from running so much earlier, but it felt like the walk over to Steven’s house took no time at all. When I got there, I was almost disappointed when he opened the door. Then I realized that it was just because I was worried that he was angry with me.
But Steven didn’t look angry – just nervous. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, sending a small thrill down my spine. It felt inappropriate at a time like this, but I was glad that he was showing me affection.
“Hey,” I said.
“What’s up?” Steven nodded for me to follow him inside. Together, we sat in the D’Amicos’ living room, and Steven brought us bottles of cherry-flavored sparkling water from the fridge.
“My mom drinks this stuff all the time,” he said, unscrewing the cap and downing nearly the whole bottle in one go. “I used to hate it, but it’s kind of growing on me.”
I could tell he was nervous. Steven usually didn’t like to waste time with small talk.
“I went to see Andrea in the hospital,” I said. I bit my lip and looked down at my lap. “I want to apologize for Monica, but Andrea didn’t really want to see me.”
Steven nodded. “Look, Elizabeth … what exactly happened in the library? My sister isn’t an old woman, it’s not like she’s just randomly going to fall down and break her hip.”
I sighed and recounted the events again. Even though I’d only told a few people what happened, it seemed like I’d been repeating the story for ages.
“That’s crazy,” Steven said.
I nodded. “It really is,” I said quietly. “I have no idea what happened. It was like, something just picked Andrea up and threw her across the room.”
“And you know for sure it wasn’t Monica?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you kidding? She weighs like, eighty pounds soaking wet. Andrea’s heavier than she is. There’s no way Monica could have even lifted someone like that, much less threw them across the room.” I sighed. I couldn’t lie. The fact that Steven was accusing me of lying about Monica stung.
“No, that’s not exactly what I mean,” Steven said slowly. An odd look came over his face. “Elizabeth, I know this sounds crazy…but what if Monica was right?”
My stomach twisted into a mess of knots. “About what?” I asked.
Steven sighed. His cheeks burned pink, and he ran a hand through his messy blond hair. “This sounds so dumb,” he said after a long pause. “I can’t even say it out loud.”
“Come on,” I said. “You started it – you have to tell me now. What’s going on?”
Steven looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I mean, about witches,” he said slowly. “Or like, about reincarnation.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding.”
Steven held his hands up in the air. “Look, I know it sounds totally crazy,” he said. “And I promise, I’m not losing my mind. But I started thinking the other night, like, what if something is controlling Monica?”
“Controlling her and making her do what?” I asked, even
though I was worried I already knew the answer. My heart was thudding, and a strange feeling came over me. I couldn’t believe that Steven and I were seriously having a conversation about whether or not my best friend was a witch.
“You know,” Steven said. He gestured in the air, then took a long swig of sparkling water. “Like, making her act out. Making her disappear. Giving her … I don’t know, giving her powers.”
I stared blankly at Steven. “It sounds completely insane,” I said. “And I don’t believe it. There’s no way anything supernatural is going on here, Steven.” I rolled my eyes. “You sound like Monica right before the party. She wouldn’t shut up about that stupid livestock thing.”
Steven looked offended. “Yeah,” he said. “But then right after the party, she disappeared for the first time. And that’s when all this weird shit started going on.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I don’t know, Elizabeth. It just seems too weird to ignore.”
I frowned. “It is weird,” I said. “But there has to be some kind of rational explanation, right?”
“Or not,” Steven said. He leaned against the couch and crossed his arms. “I know you probably think I’m losing my mind. But I’m really starting to believe it,” he said. “What do you think?”
I frowned. I thought a lot of things. One of them was that Steven was probably crazy. But as stupid as it sounds, I was afraid to disagree with him. I was afraid to speak up, afraid that he’d suddenly decide he didn’t want anything to do with me.
“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”
Chapter Four
Monica
I knew something was wrong before I even opened my eyes. The earthy scent of rotten leaves and pine needles filled my nose, and my heart was beating a slow rhythm in my chest.
I groaned. Somehow, I didn’t even need to look around to know where I was.
“Monica.” Henrik’s voice was stern and deep. I opened my eyes to see him sitting next to my cot, scribbling in a leather-bound book.
I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest and letting my shoulders slump in defeat. “Why did you bring me here?”
Henrik glared at me. The lines on his face seemed more prominent, and his wild shock of white hair was tied at the nape of his neck with a leather thong. Instead of everyday robes, he wore a loose-fitting tunic of some woven material with a pair of creased linen trousers. I almost laughed. He looked like one of the old hippies that my parents knew.
“Do not force me to tell you,” Henrik said sternly. “You know exactly why I’ve brought you here, Monica.”
I shivered and pulled the thin blanket around me. “It was an accident,” I said blankly. “I never meant to hurt her.”
Henrik groaned. “Come,” he ordered. “You are to stay here with us until you’ve learned to control yourself like an adult.” He stood up, rubbed his lower back, then turned on his heel and lumbered out of the small cottage.
Despite my unhappiness at being spirited away to the coven, I couldn’t deny how beautiful the woods looked. It was late fall, and I should have been cold. Aside from the blanket around my shoulders, I was wearing a thin sweater and jeans. But I was smart enough by now, to know that Henrik and Ligeia controlled every aspect of their environment. I might as well have been in a laboratory, with electrodes at my temples and wearing a paper gown. Sometimes the whole ‘embrace nature’ thing seemed like a gimmick that Henrik used to bring in new members.
“You’re awfully argumentative today,” Henrik observed slyly as we walked together through the crisp woods.
I rolled my eyes. “Stop,” I said, shaking my head. I tapped my temple with my pointer finger. “I don’t want you in here. Not today.”
Henrik grabbed me by the shoulders. His eyes were filled with anger.
“This is not a joke,” Henrik hissed.
“I never said it was.” I yanked myself free and crossed my arms over my chest. “I told you, it was an accident!”
Henrik shook his head in obvious disgust. “You will be the ruin of everything I have built,” he said bitterly.
I narrowed my eyes. “That’s a bit much,” I said dryly. “You’re acting like I caused some giant, Earth-shattering event.”
Henrik whistled once, so low that the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Seconds later, Ligeia appeared. Her long hair was bound in an elegant braid, and she wore the same shapeless garments as Henrik. She glared at me.
“Monica, what were you thinking?” Ligeia demanded. “You need to be more careful!”
“You’re acting like she wasn’t provoking me,” I said, glaring at both Ligeia and Henrik. “Come on. She tried to do, like, a fucking exorcism on me! In the middle of the library! At my school,” I added for emphasis. “What was I supposed to do, just sit there and let her?”
Ligeia exhaled forcefully. “Take this,” she said. She passed me an earthenware mug filled with a steaming, foul-smelling liquid.
“What is it?”
“You don’t get to ask questions right now,” Henrik snapped. “As I said, you will remain with us until you’ve learned how to control your impulses. Now that Prudence has sensed you, she isn’t going to relent. She will keep attacking. You cannot allow yourself to lash out again.”
I bit my lip and sniffed at the liquid suspiciously before downing it all in one gulp. It was bitter and hot, and it burned my throat all the way down. I choked and sputtered, leaning against a tree until the rough bark made my skin throb in pain.
“What the hell was that?” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “What are you doing to me?”
Ligeia and Henrik exchanged a glance.
“Just some herbs,” Ligeia said. She smiled calmly. “Hallucinogenic herbs. You’ll be taking them daily and working with the others on controlling your impulses.”
My stomach twisted painfully, and I cried out, retching and gagging. I was sure the liquid was going to come rushing back up my throat, hot and vile, but nothing happened. After a few seconds, I felt a strange, heavy calm descend over my limbs. It felt like I’d just crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my body.
“Come,” Ligeia said. She nodded her head to the side. I followed her. My movements were jerky and strange, like a doll, but I couldn’t stop. The nausea returned, and my mouth felt unbearably dry. After a few seconds, I was aware of everything in my body pulsing and twitching and moving together. My organs, full of blood and bile, shifted wetly together, squished inside my abdomen, protected by a cage of bone and fat. My stomach sloshed from side to side, filled with spit, and bile, and that hideous, liquid tea. I even felt the spongy tissue of my lungs breathing in shallow, jerky breaths. Suddenly, I wanted very much to stop thinking.
“You have to be aware of yourself at all times,” Ligeia said softly. She took my hand. “Do not be afraid, Monica. This is a procedure you must learn to accommodate.”
“It’s uncomfortable,” I said stiffly. My heart skipped a beat, and my stomach lurched. My center of gravity shifted, and, for a moment, the world around me plunged into a terrifying warp speed. Trees, and sky, and dead leaves spun round and round, faster and faster, until I felt rooted to the spot by an unearthly, centrifugal force.
“You can feel the Earth move,” Ligeia said. “Don’t fight it, Monica. Embrace this; embrace this and learn.”
I moaned lowly as Ligeia guided me to a clearing in the woods. Large, flat rocks were placed in a circle. This time, I needed no instruction. I walked unsteadily toward the rocks, lowering myself onto one at the center.
Sitting, the vertigo was almost worse. I kept my eyes wide open, unable to look away from the swirling blend of green, and blue, and brown all around me. My skin stretched and expanded with every breath, and I shuddered with the realization that my skin was the only thing keeping my body together. Instantly, I pictured myself melting onto the dirty ground, organs seeping out of my pores with blood, and sweat, and piss. I shuddered.
“Do not be afra
id,” Ligeia said softly. She lowered herself down next to me. When I looked at her, the world stopped spinning. Her blue eyes seemed to be the center of the universe, her lined, worldly face, the face that guided the sun and the moon.
“I…” I trailed off, unable to compose my own thoughts into words.
Ligeia pressed my hand. “Just breathe,” she said softly. “Breathe in, and the world breathes with you.”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Then I felt it – the powerful air sucking into the sponges of my lungs, the stretched feeling in my chest when I was filled with oxygen. I felt my blood revitalizing and turning from blue to red with the infusion of air. I felt my whole body lift and sink with each breath until I was riding on a tide of highs and lows, all connected. There was no place where my body stopped and the Earth began. And with each breath, I grew more confident still.
“There,” Ligeia said. Her voice was low and filled with approval. “You are beginning to understand, Monica.”
I stayed with the coven for a week, drinking that noxious tea and training myself to become one with the Earth. The hangovers each morning were awful. Instead of feeling like one with the universe, I felt like a disgusting creature that needed to be put out of its misery. But Ligeia assured me the feeling would pass, and after a few hours, it did. Still, I looked forward to the day when Henrik would approve of my going home.
It didn’t take long. After seven days of hallucinations and seven nights of agonizing, sweat-filled sleep, Henrik came to me.
“You may depart us,” Henrik said. “But do not think we will turn a blind eye, Monica.” His eyes stared at me with heady disapproval. “I am proud at the work you have accomplished in such a short time. But in no way should you take that to mean that you are free from making the same mistakes again.”
I leaned over and vomited hot bile onto the grass, sputtering and wiping at my mouth.
Henrik waited patiently for me to finish. “You have a new handle on yourself,” he said. “And we expect you to keep control of that at all times.”
I shrugged, trying to play off how sick I felt. I was so exhausted and tired. I couldn’t wait to get home, take a long shower, and collapse into bed.
The Coven Series: Books 1-5 Page 20
