by Kelly Long
She bent and gave him a quick hug. “It’s okay. I will make things right again. Do you think you can wait for one day? I’m going to try to go to Sebastian’s right now.”
He nodded, but there was something about his posture that made her uneasy. She dismissed the thought, deciding it was her imagination, and quickly left the room, only to realize she had no sleigh of her own to drive.
“Bishop Umble,” she whispered when she entered the kitchen. “Do you think I can use your sled for a bit?”
“The right runner’s a bit wobbly. I need to check it after I have a nap.”
Then I’ll walk.... Kate thought with determination. If I cut through the fields, I can make it in probably less than half an hour. And if I’m freezing, I’ll convince Sebastian to warm me up—if he’ll accept my apology....
The thought propelled her as she dressed to go outside and into the wet snow.
CHAPTER 11
“We got company comin’; I’d better get on,” Tim said, causing Sebastian to get to his feet as his friend departed.
Moments later the door to the workshop burst open. Kate straggled in, gasping slightly. He stared at her, loving every part of her, even the one piece of her heart that was angry and hurt.
“Sebastian—” Her teeth chattered as she spoke. “I hiked over here—to tell you that I’m sorry. I behaved like a foolish woman, throwing away happiness with both hands.” She paused for breath, and he slowly moved around the workbench to approach her.
She smelled like wet wool, but her own sweet fragrance still rose to his nostrils and he had a hard time not taking her into his arms. But he knew instinctively that she had more she wanted to say.
She looked down for a moment, then lifted her gaze to meet his eyes. “Sebastian, what I said—I’m not normally like that, but I realized that I had so much grief pent up inside and I took it all out on you. Can you please, please forgive me?”
He smiled at her a bit. “Can you forgive me? Can I forgive myself? The answer is yes to all because I know that Gott brought you into my life to change it, to lift the past out of its ruins and to build something new. I realize that I have no business telling kids like Steven about the kaleidoscope and new life without actually living it out myself.” He took a step closer to her. “Kate, will you help me live out a new life?”
He watched the color rise prettily in her cheeks. “Jah,” she whispered.
And then he did bend to take her in his arms, melding her sturdy frame to him, loving her gentle curves. He reached sure fingers to find the damp ties of her bonnet and slipped it off, then he undid her cloak. “Kiss me,” he commanded in a whisper, and she complied until he could no longer think, only feel and taste and want.
Kate was awash in sensation. Of their own accord, her fingers found one of the pins that held his shirt together and she tugged it free. He groaned in response, his eyes half-closed in pleasure. Her fingertips found the hot, satiny feel of his bare skin and she wanted more, moving on to the next pin down. She slipped it out, momentarily letting her finger run along the pointed edge, enjoying the prick of sensation before dropping the pin to the floor.
“Ach, Sebastian . . .” she whispered, spreading the blue cloth of his shirt. “You’re beautiful.”
“Nee.” He shook his head and stared down at her with a hot light in his blue eyes. “You are beautiful, and soon you will be my frau and we can finish what we only play at now.”
His words sent a fever pulse rushing through her blood, and she stretched to kiss his mouth when a faint sound stopped her.
“What is that?” she asked, noting that he, too, had raised his head to listen.
“It’s the school bell. I haven’t heard it rung like that in years.” He gently put her from him. “I’d better go and check. Something must be wrong.”
Kate snatched up her cloak from the floor. “I’m going with you.”
He nodded his assent, then took her arm in his to go outside and hurriedly harness the cutter sled. Soon they were off across the darkening white fields, and Kate found herself praying that whatever was wrong would soon be righted.
They soon arrived at the school, where many other folks had already gathered. Kate saw that the bishop had been standing on the snowy steps, but he hurried down and through the small crowd when he saw Sebastian and her arrive.
“Kate,” Bishop Umble puffed, clearly distraught. “You’re all right? I was so afraid after you took my sled that you’d had an accident.”
“What?” she asked blankly. “I didn’t take your sled. I walked to Sebastian’s.”
Bishop Umble stepped back with a frown. “Then who . . . ?”
A bolt of intuition caused Kate’s heart to pound with sudden fear. “Where’s Ben? Is he at your haus?”
“Nee.” The bishop shook his head. “Martha and I thought he’d surely gone with you, but that sled wasn’t safe.”
Kate sat, frozen in horror as all manner of images of Ben being hurt rushed through her mind. “The workshop,” she said slowly. “We had words about him going to Sebastian’s workshop. He must have somehow gotten into the sleigh and taken it alone.”
“Then we need to search the distance between,” Joseph King, a tall, dark-haired man, said briefly. “The dark will soon be against us.”
“Jah,” Sebastian agreed. “Some on sleds; some on foot. We need lanterns.”
“I want to go,” Kate said.
“Nee, sweetheart, please. I cannot worry about both of you. . . .” He paused and Kate shuddered as she felt the first drops of a freezing rain begin to pelt the area.
“Ach, Sebastian . . . what if . . .” She could not finish, and he squeezed her hand tightly.
“Nee,” he whispered. “Don’t think. Pray.”
Jude Lyons, the schoolmaster, had opened the school and was handing out lanterns as more men came. Soon women brought steaming pots of coffee, and the rain made dull clinking sounds against the metal, seeming to grate on Kate’s nerves despite her gratitude for everyone’s help. But night was coming, and she could only wait.
“Tim!” Sebastian called wearily into the dark hollow of trees, holding his lantern high, after an hour of fruitless search.
“Now, what in tarnation are ya hollerin’ fer, boy? I gots the little fella, back in an old cabin here, safe and sound. ’Course he was pert’ near frozen before I got him in front of the fire, but . . .”
“You found him . . . praise Gott!”
“That’s who to praise, if I don’t say so myself. You wanna come and carry the lad out?”
Sebastian caught his friend in a backbreaking hug, then put him down. “Jah!”
Sebastian followed Tim Garland back under the long, snow-crusted limbs of some heavy pine. There stood one of several deserted cabins on the mountain, lit up now by a cozy fire in the fireplace, shining through the window.
“Here we go,” Tim said, letting Sebastian in the rickety door ahead of him.
“Sebastian!” Ben cried merrily. “I’m having hot chocolate.”
Sebastian swept a sidelong glance at Tim, who shrugged innocently. “Ya knows I always carry a supply of chocolate on me.”
“This is Tim,” Ben said, wiggling his bare toes near the fire, where he sat under a pile of old quilts.
“I suppose you conjured up the quilts, too.” Sebastian smiled at his friend as he spoke in an undertone.
“I does what I can, boy,” Tim said humbly.
Sebastian moved to kneel down close to Ben and to catch the buwe in a close hug. “You gave your sister quite a scare, Ben. And I’m afraid there’ll be consequences for running off like that. . . .”
“That’s all right, Sebastian. I know what I did was wrong, and I did get very scared when the runner gave way and the horse took off back toward the bishop’s. It was so cold in the snow, but then Tim . . .” Ben yawned hugely. “Wait, where is Tim?”
Sebastian shrugged. “Hard to say. Kumme, let’s get you back to your sister and call off the manhunt.”
Ben wriggled in his arms as he swept him up, quilts and all, and Sebastian knew how very much he’d come to care for the buwe.
“What about the fire?” Ben asked, glancing toward the flames.
“Tim will see to it,” Sebastian said with assurance, then stretched to pick up his lantern and headed out into the night with his arms gladly burdened.
Kate promptly burst into tears when they began to ring the school bell again, indicating Ben had been found, and Sebastian walked in carrying her bruder.
“Don’t cry, Katie,” Ben said, waking with a mournful sigh. “You can punish me because I know what I did was wrong.”
“Why did you do it?” she asked, feeling for him through the quilts, to reassure herself that he was real.
“I knew Gott didn’t want me to, but I wanted to be grown-up and try to prove that I could manage a sled. Tim told me that a real man listens and obeys and doesn’t run off plumb-crazy. . . .”
“Did he hit his head? Who’s Tim?” Kate looked up at Sebastian worriedly.
“Ben’s fine. Probably exhausted, that’s all. Let me help you get him home to bed.”
Kate nodded, then thanked the bishop and all those she passed as Sebastian carried Ben to his sleigh. They rode back to Kate’s in happy silence and then tucked Ben comfortably in bed, with several hot potatoes beneath the covers to keep his feet warm.
“I’d like to tuck you in, too,” Sebastian murmured suggestively, running his hands down her back when they’d closed Ben’s door.
She stood stock-still, sensation drugging her with funny feelings up and down her arms and legs.
Sebastian sighed. “But I won’t. There’ll be plenty of time for that once we marry.”
Kate nodded, half-regretful.
But then he bent and brushed his lips across hers, pulling back for a heated second to murmur in her ear. “I wonder if I could have the pleasure of your company for a sleigh ride on Christmas Eve?” he asked.
She looked up at him in surprise. “But Ben . . .”
“Will be fine and fast asleep when we geh.” He smiled.
“Ach . . . all right. I’d love to.”
“Gut,” he whispered, bending to kiss her once more and then quickly leaving.
She stood for long minutes in the kitchen after he’d left, praising Gott for Ben’s safety and looking forward with pleasure to the gift of a sleigh ride on the eve of the Christ Child’s birth.
A few days later, Sebastian watched Tim button his parka.
“Well, boy, I expect this is the last run, bein’ that Christmas is so close and all.”
“I know.” Sebastian sighed.
“Oh, now, don’t you fret none—I’ll be back next year, same as always.” Tim lifted the satchel of toys, and Sebastian held out his hand to his friend.
Tim shook it with a rough swallow, and Sebastian had to smile.
“You behave, old man.”
“Naw, you behave with that little lady. I look forward to deliverin’ toys to your kids someday.” Tim grinned and Sebastian laughed.
“Give me some time.”
“Here now, don’t take much a’tall when yous think on it. . . .”
“Never mind!” Sebastian opened the front door of the workshop, and Tim walked out into the north wind. Sebastian watched for a moment, then turned back inside to continue preparations for Christmas Eve with Kate.
CHAPTER 12
On Christmas Eve, Kate tucked Ben into bed, then bent close to his face. “Do you mind if I kiss you gut nacht, Ben, now that you’re growing up?”
He smiled up at her, but his brown eyes were wide and serious. “I will always want you to kiss me, Kate. Except maybe not when the other fellas are around. . . .”
She laughed and kissed him gently on the forehead, then she moved to turn down the light. “Are you sure you’ll be all right, Ben, if I go for a quick sleigh ride with Sebastian?”
He laughed in the darkness of the room. “Of course, Kate. It’s not like you’re going to the North Pole or anywhere like that.... I’ll be fine.”
She smiled to herself and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Then she went into her tiny room and dressed with care, though Sebastian would probably only see her cloak and bonnet. She patted her kapp into place and then went to put on her outer things and wait for Sebastian.
She soon heard the rich sound of many sleigh bells ringing and flew to open the front door. The moon was out in full and perfectly illuminated the sleigh and driver, and she caught her breath in wonder.
The sleigh was an exact replica of the cutter sled that Sebastian had made for little Karen in the hospital: painted a rich, shiny burgundy and trimmed in coal black, its lines smooth and perfect. The new reins even stretched out to contain a prancing white gelding, whose white mane competed with the color of the snow.
“Sebastian . . . what . . . how?” she asked, unable to put a full thought together at the childlike wonder she felt gazing at the sleigh. He stepped down and extended a gloved hand to her.
“Tim . . . uh . . . a friend thought it might be a gut idea to make for you something special that we’ll use on our wedding day and on nights like tonight.” His voice was husky and romantic, and she let him lift her easily into the tight confines of the sleigh.
She ran her hand in delight over the velvet seat cover and scooted over to make room when Sebastian retook his place at the reins. The press of his lean hip and firm thigh against her was more than enough to send her senses spiraling upward, but then he spoke lightly to the white horse and they were off.
She’d never ridden in a sleigh so fine, she realized as they seemed to fairly fly over the dips and turns of the open fields.
“Do you remember the story I told Karen in the hospital?” he asked her tenderly and she turned to look at his handsome profile with love in her eyes.
“I do, indeed,” she said.
“Tell me,” he prompted.
She swallowed hard. “Once upon a time, two bears fell into love like it was a giant colored puddle, and they swam together happily for days and days. But then the winter came, a cold time between them, and the puddle froze over into long pulls of icy color and they couldn’t swim together anymore.”
She reached out to touch his arm, remembering her harshness to him the day she found out about his past.
“And then?” he questioned quietly.
Kate wet her lips. “And then, the Mr. Bear said, ‘I will build you a sleigh to fly upon the ice, a sleigh fit for a princess bear so that we may be together when the cold comes.’ And he did, a magical, special sleigh that cuddled them close together as they did, indeed, fly over the rose- and blue-colored ice, a sleigh ride with the promise of spring in its flight.”
“Thank you,” he whispered.
And she heard the love in his voice.
EPILOGUE
Christmas Eve Day, Ice Mountain, One Year Later
Daniel Zook carefully pulled aside the tarp that covered the baby sled. He picked it up with tears in his eyes, recalling how gut Gott had been to them in the past year and remembering the despair he’d felt two Christmases ago when they’d lost their little girl. But now that sister in heaven had a robust baby boy as a bruder, and it was a perfect time and day to take him for his first sleigh ride.
Dan quickly attached a pull rope into each hole in the sled, then left the woodshed to find Fran smiling and happy as she held their well-bundled baby, Kris, on the front porch.
“It’s all ready.” Daniel smiled and Fran looked at him with happy tears in her eyes.
“I’m so glad you kept it,” she murmured. “It was a sign of a blessing, and many of our kinner will ride in his gut wood.”
She passed the baby to Daniel, who put him securely in the little sleigh, then he turned and held out the rope to Sebastian, who stood nearby, with Ben on his shoulders, and Kate snuggled close under his arm.
“Sebastian, if you and your wife and Ben would do the honors. I think his
first sleigh ride should be entrusted to your capable hands,” Daniel said, smiling.
Sebastian nodded and moved forward, stretching out a gloved hand to take the sleigh rope while Baby Kris cooed excitedly.
They went slowly over the sun-kissed snow, the sleigh making a familiar whooshing sound complemented by Kris’s happy gurgles.
Sebastian glanced down at Kate and squeezed Ben’s hand where he balanced him on his shoulders. “Well, what do you think, sohn? And Frau Christner? Is it a fair enough day for someone’s first sleigh ride on Ice Mountain?”
Kate laughed and Ben gave a tap to his hat, and Sebastian basked in their love as a united family.
A MAMM FOR CHRISTMAS
AMY LILLARD
To my fabulous (once upon a time) editor,
turned friend, turned agent Julie Gwinn.
And so it begins!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Anyone who knows me knows how much my grandmother meant to me. I’ve dedicated one book to her, but wanted to honor her again. So I named the main character in this novella after her. Surprisingly enough—or maybe not—Bernice seems to have the same spunk as my grandmother did when she was alive. So thanks to my grandmother Bernice Davis, for lending your name and personality to Bernice Yoder.
I owe a debt of gratitude to my Lancaster friends for tirelessly helping me with the details concerning Amish schools, their teachers, and their Christmas pageants. Thank you to Becky, Nancy, Sadie, Rachel, and Sarah for answering my endless questions and for your continued efforts in making my books as accurate as they can be. I had the best team on my side; any mistakes are mine and mine alone.
Thanks to John and the team at Kensington for their continued patience and allowing me to be a part of this project. Each day I work with you is more fun than the one before!
