He reached over with his left hand, as though he was looking for something in the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed, but he stopped midway into his reach.
He groaned in dissatisfaction and straightened, pressing his head into her chest.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked, frantic to not lose their momentum.
“I wasn’t expecting this to happen, Farren,” he half-whispered.
Realization struck her instantly. He didn’t have protection.
Shit! Damn-it! And all the other curse words she could think of. She thought for a moment on how to salvage this situation. Except, she could feel his hardened erection twitch beneath her, and could feel the throbbing deep inside her that told her she needed him, right now.
She said nothing. She didn’t need to say anything at all. She simply locked eyes with him, lifted her hips just slightly, and pressed herself down onto him, taking him into her, filling herself with him, moaning with the intensity of pleasure as he glided smoothly in.
She could hear a growl forming deep in his chest as she sank onto him, took him all the way into her. She wrapped her arms around the top of his shoulders, and began her slow, circular torment – his and her own – grinding as far into him as she could physically get.
No, he would not deny her. God damn-it, he would give her everything he had.
***
Farren woke before the sun came up the next morning to the warmth that enveloped her satiated, naked body. Her head lay on Rogan’s bare chest, and she could feel the slow, steady rise and fall of his breathing that told her he was sound asleep. He had one arm around her, holding her to him, and it melted her heart right where she lay.
But she knew the fairy tale would be over soon. They would fly back to Houston later that day and go back to work, with him being her boss, her being his assistant, and him parading his string of flawless women about. The dread began building in her stomach.
She thought to herself if she would have taken back the previous night, and the answer was… not on her life. She had just had the best night of her life. She wouldn’t give that up for the world, but she wasn’t so naïve to think that Rogan was going to magically find a way to be with her. That wasn’t how life worked, and nobody knew that better than she did. She wasn’t somebody that people moved mountains for. She wasn’t somebody that people stuck around for.
She knew what she had to do.
She slid out of his grasp, out of his bed, fumbled around the dark for her clothes, and slipped out of his room like a thief in the night. She would carry on as if that night had never happened if she wanted to keep her job, and no one would ever have to know.
She was sure Rogan would be relieved to be off the hook, anyway. Wouldn’t he?
FOURTEEN
After a somewhat awkward plane ride back from Italy, Farren was grateful for the weekend to put some distance between she and Rogan. She had tried her very best to pretend like their night together had never happened, but it wasn’t easy, especially when she had come face to face with him in the hallway outside her hotel room as she carried out her luggage that morning.
“Farren? What happened?” he had asked with concern.
“What do you mean?” she replied, keeping a cool, casual demeanor on the outside, though her insides were roiling with a cocktail of emotions.
“You were gone,” he said, almost like a question.
“I’m right here, sir. Did you need something?”
Understanding spread over his face, and he nodded.
“No… no, I didn’t need anything. Are you ready to go?” he asked, all business again.
“Yes, I just need to get one more thing.”
She left her suitcase in the hall as she went back in to grab the garment bag full of clothes - Bartolo Bianchi’s clothes. She thought it odd now how far away she seemed from the evening she had spent with Bartolo.
She stood in the quiet, empty, hotel suite taking it all in one final time. She let the scenes from the previous night play through her mind, with Rogan’s strong hands gripping her hips, controlling her movements. She recalled how he had driven her wild with pleasure until she didn’t think she could take any more, and then he had come at her with a whole new round of blissful assaults. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before.
Even now, her body craved him. Had she made a mistake leaving his room last night?
No. They would be back to reality by the end of the day. She held no delusions that this was anything more than a momentary lapse, maybe even a mistake, and she hoped not a fatal one for her career. She could carry on as if nothing had changed. She would prove to him that it didn’t have to mean anything.
When she opened the door again, Rogan was gone. A hotel butler stood in his place, offering to carry her luggage down.
***
“Farren?” Dallas’s voice came through the small crack in her office door.
She looked up, trying her best to keep from rolling her eyes.
“What’s up, Dallas?”
He looked around him up and down the hallway, probably to make sure no one was watching, before pushing his way inside and closed her door.
She knew he wouldn’t have been there, risking his hide with Rayner to talk to her, if Rayner had been there. Unfortunately, Rayner had seemed to be spending more and more time outside the office these last several weeks since they’d returned from their business trip.
She thought that was probably for the best, even though she could sense his absence deep in her chest, like an almost tangible void of overwhelming disappointment. She missed him, but she’d never admit to it.
“What do you need, Dallas?” she asked, getting straight to the point so he could be on his way.
“I don’t need anything. I just came by to invite you out for a drink tonight after work. What do you say?”
He eyed her with an arrogant look of triumph, as though he couldn’t fathom her turning down his offer.
She gave him an incredulous look for a few seconds before she turned her head back to her work. “No thanks,” she mumbled, hoping he’d get the picture and leave her alone.
“Come on, Doll. No one would have to know,” he urged.
What was this, an episode of the Kardashians? She chuckled to herself at the thought of Dallas’s resemblance to Scott Disick, at least in his personality if not his looks.
“I’m good, thanks,” she said with disinterest.
“Come on, Farren, loosen up a little. What harm could one drink do?”
He leaned his hands on the edge of her desk and watched her, awaiting her response.
She turned back toward him with impatience now. “I’m actually busy at the moment, and I already have plans after work.”
He stood there unmoving for a moment longer, but finally conceded defeat. “Another time, then,” he said.
She didn’t give him so much as a nod, just stared at him until he straightened and moved back toward the door.
“Let me know if you change your mind,” he called to her, just before the door clicked shut behind him as he left.
When she was alone again, she heaved a sigh. Things just hadn’t been the same without Rogan… Rayner… here. She wondered what he was doing, anyway, and why he had her wasting so much time on stupid busy-work. At least she still had a job, she thought, and knew she couldn’t complain.
She finished up some tweaks to a program she was working on, then gathered up her things and headed home. It was another long week behind her, and she looked forward to the weekend. Tonight, she had a hot date with a book, some popcorn, and a blanket on the sofa at home with Gramma.
***
“Farren, it’s Friday night. Aren’t you going to go do something with Shea?” Gramma asked.
“No, I was planning to stay home tonight,” she answered, offering Gramma the bowl of popcorn.
“You’ve been staying in a lot lately. Ever since you got back from your trip abroad,” Gramma stated in obs
ervation. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Farren felt a little uncomfortable with the question. “No, nothing to really talk about. Just not much going on lately.” Farren shrugged, stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth and pretending to shift her attention back to the page on her e-reader that she had read for the tenth time in ten minutes, unable to recall a word.
Gramma nodded as though taking Farren at her word. “Okay. I just thought maybe something had been bothering you.”
Farren looked back up at her. “Why would you think that?”
Gramma gave her the look that said, ‘Do I look like a fool?’ but said nothing.
“What? I just don’t feel like going out!” Farren cried defensively.
“Does this have anything to do with a guy?” Gramma asked.
“Why would you think that? Nothing is wrong, Gramma. Is it so wrong to want to just spend a Friday evening at home being lazy and enjoying your company?”
“Okay,” Gramma said. “I won’t pry, but you know you can talk to me about anything.”
She looked Farren straight in the eyes, driving her point home that she meant what she said, but Farren already knew she could tell her Gramma anything. She always had. That wasn’t the problem.
The problem was, she couldn’t tell anyone, because admitting it out loud would make it all real. She’d started off with more than just a mild attraction to the hot, older man who hired her, spent a magical night together with him in a beautiful, foreign country, and now her heart was paying the consequences.
“I’ll tell you one more thing, and then I’ll let it rest,” Gramma told her, bringing her out of her reverie.
Farren released a slow breath and said, “Okay, let me have it.”
Gramma stood from her recliner, walked the few steps over to Farren, and took her by the hand. “No one can control the wind,” she began, and then leaned down to eye level. “But you can always adjust the sail.”
At that, she patted the back of Farren’s hand and started walking out of the living room, toward the hallway to their bedrooms. “I’m going to soak in a bath if you need me.”
“Thanks,” Farren said under her breath, since Gramma had already disappeared down the hall.
She thought about what Gramma had said for a minute and wondered what it meant. Not literally, but how she could apply it to her current circumstances.
She grabbed her phone and sent a text message to Shea. Anything going on tonight?
Shea replied immediately. Hitting up a party. Want to go? I’ll come get you!
Farren stared at the phone for a moment. Going to a party was the last thing she really felt like doing tonight. She replied. Yes I’ll go.
She set her phone down beside her and covered her face with both hands. She was so not looking forward to this, but damn-it, she was going to get Rogan Rayner out of her system if it was the last thing she did. She stood and ran to her bedroom to get ready.
FIFTEEN
“Here, have a beer!” Shea yelled to Farren over the blaring music, handing her a red, plastic cup with foam spilling over the top.
She took the sticky cup from Shea and brought it up to her mouth. She caught a whiff of the bitter liquid before it touched her lips, and it made her stomach turn, so she decided to wait a minute before she took her first sip.
“Thanks!” Farren yelled back. “Some party.”
“Yeah, it’s okay. Last week at Jenna’s was better. You should’ve come to that one!”
Farren smiled at her friend, pretty sure she hadn’t really missed much, but she wasn’t going to mention it. It was just nice to see her and get out of the house for a change.
“There’s Devin! I’m going to go talk to him. Come with me?” Shea offered.
“You go ahead and talk to Loverboy! I’ll just be right here.” She pointed to the floor beneath her feet in case her voice hadn’t carried as well as she’d hoped.
She gave Shea a playful shove in Devin’s direction and stood looking around the crowded room as people danced, talked, and drank. Everyone seemed to be having such a good time. She could surely get into it, too.
Her eyes scanned the room and caught on a tall guy with dark hair in a cut she was all too familiar with, or had been up until a few months ago. Paul had just walked in with a pretty blonde clinging to him like flies on stink.
Great, she thought, just who she wanted to see tonight. She wondered if it should bother her that her ex-boyfriend was there with another girl, and maybe she was a little surprised at just how much it didn’t bother her. No, instead, it had just made her think of Rogan, and how he had almost, dare she say, consoled her the day that Paul had broken up with her outside of Charlie’s Bar.
She blew out a huff of air and made her way to Shea and Devin. She may not have cared to see Paul with someone else, but she didn’t want him seeing her there without anyone at all, either.
It didn’t take long, though, for Paul to seek her out once he heard she was there. She, Shea, and Devin had migrated out into the back yard to give their ears a break from the deafening music inside the house. They stood next to an outdoor fire pit that lit up the night around them and kept them warm in the cold, night air. Paul came waltzing outside, having left his leach, er, girlfriend somewhere indoors.
He strolled right up to Farren with that smooth, cool-guy smile she remembered all those months ago when they had first met.
“Farren Fields, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” he said.
“I don’t imagine you did, since I didn’t expect to be here tonight,” she retorted.
“You look good.” He smiled at her like he thought he was being charming, but she was far beyond falling for that anymore.
“Thanks. You look… drunk,” she said, but smelled drunk was really more like it.
Shea piped in at that moment. “Hey, Paul, I think you forgot something inside. Maybe you should go back in and rejoin your date.” She spewed the word date out like it had left a bad taste in her mouth.
Paul gave Shea an annoyed glare, but turned his attention back on Farren.
“Hey, so would you want to go hit up a movie sometime?” he asked, and his arrogant smile was back.
The thing was, hitting up a movie sounded nice. Just not with him. She wondered if Rogan did such normal, mundane things as going to see movies, not that she would ever find out.
“Thanks, Paul, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. You really should probably get back to your date. You don’t want to keep her wondering where you are.” Or seeing you out here asking me out, she added silently. She gave him a friendly pat on the shoulders.
He gave her a look that said he wasn’t finished with her, but he turned around and went back inside.
“Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” Shea said once he was out of hearing range.
Devin didn’t say anything, but shook his head disapprovingly.
“Yeah… Look, guys, I really hate to be a downer, but Shea, could you please just take me home. I’m really starting to not feel so good. I just want to go home and get some sleep.” Farren gave them a pleading look and cupped her hands together in front of her like she was begging.
“Sure, Far. Let’s go,” Shea agreed, and the three of them went out the back gate to get into Shea’s car to leave.
She lay in bed that night with a profound heartache she was no stranger to, longing for the love of someone who would never give it to her.
***
Farren noticed as soon as she got to work that Monday that Rayner was in the office that day, and she felt a rush of excitement as she walked into Rayner Technologies that morning.
“Hey Rita. Hey, Toby.” She greeted as she walked past the front desk toward the hallway to her office.
As usual, Toby froze at the sight of her. Rita waved to her excitedly and greeted her back in her thick, Southern drawl. “Good mornin,’ Farren! Don’t you look chipper today?”
Did she? She wasn’t su
re, but she had certainly felt a lift in her mood the moment she saw Rayner’s truck in the parking lot as she drove in. It felt different when he was there, and even if she didn’t speak to him much, it was still nice having him around.
She got to her office and started booting up her work station to get everything started for the day. No sooner had she sat down that the side door to Rayner’s office clicked open, and Rayner came walking through.
The smell of his cologne was the first thing to hit her, and she took a deep breath of him, savoring it while she could. She turned to see him approaching her desk, and she tried to hold back a giant smile that wanted to take up residence on her face.
“Good morning, sir,” she greeted him.
“Good morning. What have you got going on today?” he asked in the deep, husky voice she was so used to hearing now.
“Just those Wappler programs you had me making adjustments on last week. Did you have something else for me?” she asked, hopeful.
“Yes, I’ve got a new project I’ve been asked to help with for a security company across town. They want us to develop and install a new system, and I could use your help as a second pair of eyes to locate and identify any vulnerabilities. They’ve asked to have it done on a pretty tight deadline, so it’s going to require some long hours.”
He paused, searching her face for an indication that this might bother her in some way.
“Are you okay with that?” he asked.
“Of course,” she replied. “Just show me where to begin.”
The smile that lit his face had her melting inside, the one that revealed those tiny eye crinkles, and she wasn’t sure which warmed her more, the smile or his confidence in her skills to entrust her with a project like this.
That, and she would be working with him, one-on-one, for long hours until the project was done. She knew she shouldn’t be as ecstatic as she was about it, but it couldn’t be helped. She craved his nearness like her next breath, as unhealthy as that was.
Boss Unyielding: A Secret Baby Office Romance (The Boss Series Book 1) Page 7
