“Your parents are good people,” he said, smiling over to me. “I’m sorry I won’t get to see them again before I head back.” He paused for a moment and then looked at me curiously. “Do they even know about us?”
“No,” I said, a nervous smile forming on my face. “I haven’t told them. I will when they get home.”
“Are you ashamed of me or something?” he joked, but I leaned across the table, kissing him quickly before sitting back down.
“Never,” I said, smiling over to him.
It didn’t take long for the food to come out and the meatloaf must’ve been as good as Adam remembered because he cleaned his plate. I’d eaten most of my chicken too and we were getting ready to head back to my house when he excused himself to the bathroom and Erica came rushing over, jamming herself in the space next to me in the booth.
“It’s about damn time. I never thought he’d leave,” she sighed.
“What’re you talking about?” I asked.
“I didn’t want to talk to you with Adam around,” she said, eyeing the area of the bathroom for him before looking back at me. “First of all, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all flippin’ day.”
“I’ve had my phone off.”
“Why?” she grimaced.
“Adam kind of challenged me to. He said we spend too much time on our phones.”
“That’s ridiculous. We all spend too much time on our phones, but this is the twenty-first century, Caroline, and phones are like a third arm. I thought you were dead or something, but Sawyer would’ve told me if that were the case.”
“Take a breath, Erica. Why were you so eager to get a hold of me?” I asked and I watched as the expression on her face turned more serious.
“It looks like you had a good weekend in Boston.”
“Yeah, I did, but why do you care?”
“I…I just saw some pictures of you and Adam.”
“Where?”
“I saw some on Facebook. You know those stupid groups that form about celebrities and athletes and stuff.”
“And you saw Adam and me?”
“Yeah. At some club,” she said.
“He took me out to celebrate the news that he’s cleared to start training again.”
“You…you don’t have any idea, do you?” she asked, her voice turning quiet.
“About what?” I was starting to get annoyed now, which wasn’t uncommon with my cousin. Her eyes drifted to the bathroom just as Adam was walking out, which meant our conversation was over.
“Just check your phone when you can and remember how much I love you.”
“What?” I asked, trying to make sense of my crazy cousin and what she’d meant, but she didn’t answer. She just squeezed me tightly and then got up, waving to Adam as he sat down.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, looking between me and the fading figure of my cousin.
“Erica’s acting weird,” I said, reaching into my purse and pulling out my phone. I noticed Adam was staring at it. “She told me to check my phone. She said she’d been trying to reach me all day.”
I looked over at Adam. He looked anxious as I hit the power button.
“What about our no phone rule today?”
“She was pretty adamant. I need to see what’s going on,” I said, waiting for the screen to load. He reached for the phone, taking it from my hand. I stared down at my empty palm for a second before looking up at him. “What’re you doing?” I reached for my phone, but he put it in his pocket.
“Please, Caroline. Let’s just go home.”
The look on his face was scaring me. I’d never seen him so guarded.
“Give me my phone, Adam,” I said, holding out my hand, but he didn’t move. “Dammit, Adam,” I sighed. “Give me the stupid phone!” My voice wasn’t loud enough to garner any looks, but he knew I meant business.
Reluctantly, he reached for the phone, sliding it out of his pocket and placing it in my hand. I could feel my nerves as it rested in my palm. I stared down at it, wondering if I even wanted to turn it on. Whatever I was going to discover couldn’t be good if Erica was this concerned with it and Adam didn’t want me to have it.
I looked at Adam again. I could see his hesitation. I knew he was biting his tongue. He wanted to say something to me, but I knew he wouldn’t as I finally turned on the phone. It took a few seconds for it to synch and then it sounded as if a bomb had gone off with the notifications that started coming through. “What the hell?” I asked, staring down at the screen.
I clicked on one of the notifications and waited as I was taken to a picture of Adam and I at the club I hadn’t even known had been taken. We were on the dance floor. His hands were around my waist and mine were around his neck. He must’ve said something funny at that moment because I was laughing. I actually thought it was a sweet picture; a candid memory of that night I didn’t even know existed. I smiled for a moment at how happy we looked, but then my eyes drifted to the slew of comments below the picture and I felt a knot start to form in my stomach.
Caroline Hale? Looks more like Caroline Horse! Did you see her teeth? WTF does Adam DeLain see in that chick? #horseface
C’mon! I know he’s on the DL right now, but seriously? He can’t find someone better than this ugly bitch? #delainneedshiseyeschecked
I thought he only dated supermodels, maybe I have a chance!
I felt tears in my eyes as I stared down at the comments that just kept going on and on. With each one I read, I felt my stomach getting sicker and then I couldn’t read any more as I slowly turned off the screen and set the phone back in my purse. When I looked up to meet Adam’s eyes, I could tell he knew what I’d just seen.
“Caroline,” he said quietly, reaching for my hand and holding it with both of his.
“So, this is why you didn’t want me having my phone today,” I said softly. “You knew about this.”
“I…I didn’t want you to see them. I just wanted to protect you,” he said gently.
“You can’t, Adam. You really didn’t think I’d find out?” I could hear the way my voice cracked.
“I knew you would, but I wanted to get back to Silver Falls before you saw any of it. I just wanted to finish the weekend before you saw it. I just wanted one more day before everything changed.”
I looked across the table at Adam. My eyes were blurry though and I could barely see him. When I blinked, silent tears fell down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with a napkin and I could clearly see Adam. He was worried. I could see it on his face.
“I…I just wanna go home,” I whispered, wiping at my face again. I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. I simply grabbed my purse and walked outside.
I wished the tears would stop, but they didn’t. I couldn’t stop replaying the hateful things complete strangers said about me. I stood by the passenger door staring at the ground, waiting for Adam to come out. I just wanted to go home.
I heard the truck beep and the lights flash as he unlocked the doors. I climbed inside before he could say anything. He got in the driver’s side a moment later and started the truck. He didn’t move it right away though. I could feel him looking at me and he hesitantly took my hand. My first reaction was to jerk it away from him, as if he had somehow caused this. He hadn’t. He’d warned me about it, but I didn’t grasp exactly what that would mean until it’d actually happened. I was angry though and even though I shouldn’t, I felt my anger being directed at him.
“I’m sorry, Caroline,” he said softly, kissing the back of my hand.
“Can we just go, please?” I asked quietly. He waited a moment and I never turned to look at him. He didn’t let go of my hand as he started backing the truck up though.
It was a silent drive back to the farm. The radio wasn’t even on. The only sound was the wind pushing over the truck. I stared out the window at the setting sun, wondering what in the hell I was going to do. I was a simple girl from Silver Falls, Vermont and yet suddenly, life didn’t
seem simple anymore.
Adam finally let go of my hand when he turned into the bumpy driveway, Sawyer’s SUV noticeably vacant. As soon as Adam turned off the engine, I grabbed my bag and got out of the truck. I knew he was close behind and he followed me inside once I’d unlocked the door. I didn’t say anything as I walked upstairs to my room to put my bag away. When I turned around, I saw Adam standing in the doorway. My heart ached just looking at him, but I felt the tears coming again as our eyes met.
He didn’t say anything as he crossed the room. He simply opened his arms and took me in them. He wrapped me tightly in his embrace and I let him. I didn’t sob as he held me, but the tears came. They were quiet though and I let him hold me for a long time. I was safe in his arms, free from the cruelty and hurt that had suddenly come into my life.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“But there’s not, Adam,” I said softly, pulling away from him and wiping at my eyes.
“I know,” he said, reaching up and gently pushing my hair behind my ear as his eyes moved over my face. I could feel him wanting to kiss me, but instead, he led me to the foot of the bed. We sat down side by side and he turned to face me.
“I wish you wouldn’t have tried to keep this from me,” I said quietly.
“I only did it because I love you, Caroline.” He pulled the hand he was holding into his lap and began tracing circles on the back of it with his thumb. I could tell by the way he looked at me how much he did love me. He’d only been trying to shield me from the pain. “I planned to come back here tonight and tell you. I didn’t want you just reading it. I wanted to break it to you so I could tell you not to believe a word of any of it. Not a single damn word.”
I was looking down at our linked hands, but then I brought my eyes to his. He was blurry again from the tears I was battling, a battle I finally lost when I blinked and they spilled down my cheeks.
“So, you read the comments then?” I asked, my voice shaking. The thought of Adam reading those words about me made my stomach sick. Knowing he’d seen the names I’d been called, the way I’d been torn apart and had my every flaw ridiculed, made me wonder if he might think those things too. Maybe he did. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was starting to believe the words myself because why else would anyone say them if there wasn’t some semblance of truth.
“I didn’t want to, Caroline. I only read when the first notifications started coming through and then I turned off the phone.”
“But you saw it. You saw what they said about me,” I said, the tears threatening again. Our eyes met and he nodded. “Never…never have I felt so badly about myself as I do right now.” I was trying to stay strong. I was simply trying to tell Adam how I felt, but my voice was trembling and a lump burned in my throat. “I’ve never felt so ugly.”
“Don’t,” Adam said sternly. “Don’t you dare feel that way. I love you, Caroline. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with the feelings you cause in me half the time. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. You’re perfect to me, Caroline Hale. Inside and out,” he said, cradling my face in his hands and looking into my eyes. I believed him. I believed what he said and when Adam looked at me like this, I did feel beautiful.
“Will it always be like this, Adam?” I asked him, wishing I could ignore the pit in my stomach that tried to diminish the way Adam made me feel.
“I don’t know,” he admitted softly. “I wish I could say no.” His voice trailed off and it grew quiet for a few moments.
“I…I just… I don’t even know what to do with this,” I said, leaning into him so he wrapped his arms around me again. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said, kissing me on the temple as he held me.
“You being back here, back in Silver Falls, it was like nothing had changed,” I said softly, pulling away from him. “I fell in love with you, the same boy I’ve known almost my whole life. I didn’t realize until this weekend what that really meant. You’re not the same boy I grew up with.”
“But I’m still me,” he said quietly. “And I still love you, Caroline.”
I felt a lump burning in my throat as he looked at me.
“I love you too,” I choked out.
“We’ll be okay, Caroline. I promise,” he said gently, pulling away so he was holding me at arm’s length. He brushed the hair from my forehead and a timid smile formed on his face, but I could see he was forcing the smile because he knew just as I did that it might be a promise he couldn’t keep.
I didn’t tell him that though. Neither of us wanted to say it out loud so I nodded instead and then took his hand, lacing my fingers with his.
“Can you stay here tonight?” I asked and I could see the hesitation on his face when he didn’t answer right away.
“What about Sawyer?” he asked quietly. “You know he won’t like that.”
“It’s our last night together and I don’t care about Sawyer right now. I just need you to stay,” I said and I could feel myself choking up.
“Then I’ll stay,” he answered softly our eyes locking for a moment before he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. I closed my eyes and told myself when it was like this, when I was in his arms, everything was okay. I had to believe it because I couldn’t believe anything else.
Thirty-Two
“Caroline. Wake up.” I could hear his voice. It sounded so far away though. “Wake up, Caroline.” I felt his fingertips on my skin. “Caroline.” His voice was soft in my ear and when my eyes finally opened he was there next to me, rubbing my skin and whispering my name.
“What time is it?” I whispered.
“It’s almost five,” he whispered back, looking down at me, the faint light streaming in through the window illuminating his face just enough so I could see him smiling at me.
“What’s going on? Why’d you wake me up?” I asked.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
“Now?” I asked, clearing my throat.
“The sun’s about to rise. We should see it together.”
“Are you serious?” I asked softly.
“Yes,” he answered, brushing his lips lightly over mine. “I have to leave in a few hours and I want to spend those hours with you.” He kissed me again, deeper this time and when he pulled away, I smiled at him, nodding.
“Okay,” I whispered.
Adam sat up, pulling the covers back and sliding on his jeans and a t-shirt. The room was still mostly dark, but I could see enough of him to know he looked entirely too good for having just woken up. He ran his hands through his dark hair, trying to tame the unruly mess and his face was shadowed by a light beard I found particularly sexy.
He held out his hand to me, pulling me up. I knew he watched me as I pulled off my pajamas, replacing them with a pair of yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt. My hair was a mess, just as his was, but I didn’t care. I simply ran my fingers through it before he took my hand and led me outside.
It was quiet when we stepped onto the porch, the kind of stillness that only comes when the rest of the world is asleep. The stars were still out, but I could see the first light of the sun peeking over the trees like a lantern in the distance.
“Where are we going?” I asked him as we walked down the porch steps and headed towards the field.
“To Silver Falls, of course,” he answered and I smiled to myself.
Even though the summer days were warm, the mornings were still chilly. I hadn’t thought of that as we left the house, but Adam could tell I was cold and he wrapped his arm around me as we walked towards the falls. There was just enough light on the horizon so we could see our way. Even still, the woods felt different. I’d lived on this land my whole life, but I’d never seen it like this. Maybe it was because I was with Adam or maybe it was the peace I felt in the stillness of the morning, but whatever it was, I was grateful f
or it. I needed peace right now.
I could hear the falls before I could see them. They seemed louder now. Perhaps it was because the world was so quiet. The sun was stretching further across the sky now, the light bouncing off the falls so brightly, it almost hurt my eyes. I heard a single bird start to sing in the distance. I knew it wouldn’t be long before it was joined in a chorus. Too many summer mornings I’d been woken up by their songs when all I wanted to do was sleep in, but I knew this morning I wouldn’t mind.
Adam removed his arm from my shoulder and took my hand instead, leading me to the banks of the stream.
“I hope you’re not too angry with me for waking you up,” he said and I turned my head to see him smiling at me.
“I’ve got my whole life to sleep, Adam. I’ve only got a few more hours with you though.”
I watched his smile fade and then I felt his hand on my waist, turning me to face him.
“When I came back here, I know neither of us expected this. I know things happened fast, but I’m okay with that because the more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize it was always meant to be you and me, Caroline. Since we were kids I’ve loved you. You’ve always been here,” he said softly, pointing as his heart and then he placed my hand over it. “And when I’m with you, I know you’ll always be here. I’ve heard people talk about finding that one person who makes them feel whole. I thought I was whole. I thought I had everything, but then you came back into my life and I realized I knew nothing.” I heard his voice crack and I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes as I listened to Adam as Silver Falls fell in the background. “I know you’re hurting right now because of me, because of what being with me has done to you and I wish there was something I could do to stop it, but all I can say is that I love you, Caroline. I know me going back to Boston isn’t going to be easy, but just remember I love you,” he said softly and I watched as he swallowed hard before continuing. “You’ve gotta remember that no matter what you hear or what you think. Just remember I love you.”
Catching Caroline (Silver Falls Book 1) Page 28
