She paused, posed for me, even pulled the sunglasses up. The movement was mechanical and I saw the emptiness in her eyes. I sidled around her, putting myself between her and Jet. If I could just keep her busy long enough, just enough to get someone to see that the gun was real.
“Okay, can you maybe just tip your head for me.” I waved my hand, got her to shift her stance. Empty, those eyes were so empty.
“I have to go now.” She stepped forward and I stepped back, keeping the distance between us.
Reggie was yelling. “Fuck it all to hell, Jasmin, get out of the god damned way, we’re going to start the shoot!”
I couldn’t move, couldn’t do what he wanted. “Elise, put the gun down. This is a mistake, this isn’t right.” I kept my voice low, soothing like I would for a frightened animal. Her chest hitched and she lifted the gun, pointed it at me.
“I need you to move. He doesn’t know about the baby. I have to take him to the baby to show him and the baby is in heaven. So I have to take him there. To see.” Her words were a jumble, and they only made sense because I knew her history.
Running footsteps, I knew were Jet’s, she swung the gun up, aimed for him.
Not again, I couldn’t lose him too.
Fear nothing, fear nothing. Elise let out a long slow breath, I jumped at her, tackling her to the ground. My body blocked her, she screamed, something popped, and then heat flared in my chest.
The world exploded in an eruption of pain and screaming.
20
Jet
Everything happened so fast. One second I was running toward Jasmin and Elise, seeing the intent on Elise’s face. Reggie had been screaming at them, and then Jasmin tackled Elise, the gun went off, Jasmin’s body had jerked, blood pooled around them, and the world as I knew it came crashing down.
They wouldn’t let me touch her, the paramedics kept pushing me back, Reggie had my arms pinned, or tried to. I think I punched him, and then I was being held back by two of the set guards. Jasmin didn’t move, didn’t seem to be breathing, blood coated her front, and it was impossible for me to see where she’d been shot.
Within moments, the paramedics had her on the gurney, IV in her arm, lights flashing, and she was gone. They wouldn’t even let me ride with her.
Reggie snagged my keys out of my hand; I didn’t even realize I’d grabbed them.
“Get in the car, Jet. I’ll take you to the hospital.”
I did as I was told, brain numb, and that numbness leaked into the rest of me. She would be okay, had to be. The world couldn’t keep moving forward without her. Not mine anyway. Had I told her I loved her that morning, before we left? Fuck, why couldn’t I remember?
Reggie was talking to me, but his words were empty promises, empty sorrows, and words that meant nothing.
Jasmin in my arms, eyes sparkling with desire, head tipped back in ecstasy; her camera broken on the ground beside her, covered in blood.
Never, not once had I ever thought I would be on this side of the fear. In all the times we’d spoken about someone getting hurt, it had been me. Why would it be her? It should never have been Jasmin.
The ambulance was already there, my Spitfire somewhere inside. I leapt out of the car before it had even stopped, running for the emergency room.
“Where is she, the girl they just brought in?” I shouted, the people waiting for their turns cringed around me.
A nurse approached, round body, sharp eyes. “Are you her husband?”
“No, boyfriend. Is she okay? Where did they take her?”
“They’ve already taken her into surgery, you’ll have to wait for the doctor for more information.”
That was it? I had to wait?
I paced down the long hallway back toward the front entrance where Reggie stood outside, his cell phone jammed in his ear.
I went through the sliding doors, the air outside not helping any.
Reggie lowered the phone. “They’ve taken Elise back to the institution; they won’t be letting her out this time.”
“A bit fucking late for that, isn’t it?” I snarled.
Reggie nodded, and slid onto a stone bench. “You want to call anyone? She got family?”
I thought of Lily, and reached for Reggie’s phone. He handed it over without a question, my phone dropped somewhere along the way.
I dialed through, my throat tightening up, knowing I couldn’t avoid this.
“Hello?” A man’s voice answered Lily’s phone. Jasper. What the hell was he doing back?
“Jap, there’s been an accident. Bring Lily to the hospital.” I closed my eyes, put my hand over my face. “Jasmin’s been shot.”
* * * * *
The surgery didn’t take long, a few hours for the doctors to get all the fragments out of her body. Reggie tracked down the idiot who’d given Elise the live ammunition and fired him, made sure he wouldn’t be working in the business anytime soon. Apparently, the guy was trying to get in Elise’s good books and her panties.
None of that made a difference. They hadn’t let us in to see Jasmin yet, wouldn’t give us a prognosis. Nothing. Lily sat in the corner, crying. Jasper glared at me every time I made a move as if to give her a hug. Comfort her.
Finally, ignoring his glares, I went and crouched in front of her, put a hand on her knee. “Lily, you need something to eat. We both do.”
“I can’t eat, not when I don’t even know if she’s going to . . . I wasn’t there for Ryan, I went home because I was tired and I needed to shower, and he died and I wasn’t even there.” She let out a sob, sitting there all by herself. I moved to sit beside her and put an arm over her shoulders, hugged her against my side.
“She’s going to be okay, she is.”
“I’m not moving from this spot until they tell us she’s going to be fine, that she’s pulling through.” Lily snuffled against my shirt, and then lifted her eyes to mine.
I nodded, unable to say anything else, because we both knew that there weren’t enough words.
Jasmin had to make it.
21
Jasmin
Ryan held my hand and I was so excited. To tell him about the music, how I’d heard my singing and his song on the actual radio. “It was the most amazing thing, Ryan, like everything we ever wanted all in a single song.”
“Jazzy, do you know where you are?”
“I’m with you, here. In this place.” I looked around, not recognizing it. Nice, it was nice and I felt good, safe here.
His eyes were sad and I didn’t understand why, why he would be so sad when we were here, together?
He took my hands, held them tight, and it was then that I really looked at him. He was healthy and all his hair had grown back . . . but how was that possible?
“Ryan, am I dead?”
He dipped his head. “Yeah, Jazzy, you are.”
22
Jet
“Her heart stopped?”
Lily burst into tears, but the world around me went numb, fuzzed over in white noise, then dropped me to my knees. No . . . Jasmin couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t be.
This was some sort of nightmare, a dream that wouldn’t let me go.
“Are you sure?” My voice was shaky, barely recognizable even to my own ears.
The doctor gave a slow nod, his eyes full of sorrow. “We’re doing everything we can, but it doesn’t look good. You need to be prepared for the worst.”
But how could I be prepared for losing Jasmin? There was nothing in this world that would ever ready me for that.
I lowered my head to the cold, linoleum floor, and laced my fingers over the back of my neck.
This wasn’t happening.
I couldn’t lose her.
23
Jasmin
“No! Ryan, I can’t be dead.” I grabbed his hand. “How do I get back? I can’t leave, not now.”
His eyes, so like mine darkened, and his shoulders slumped.
“I’m sorry, I can’t show you the wa
y back. I couldn’t find it, and I tried, I tried to come back to you, to Lily. But there was no way for me, no path back to you two that I could follow.”
I couldn’t stay here—wherever here was—I knew that it wasn’t my time, not yet. I wasn’t ready, I’d only just learned to live, how could I die? I couldn’t. That was the only answer. But that would mean I would have to leave Ryan.
Choking on my tears, I pulled him into my arms, and he hugged me back. “I know, Jazzy, I know. Don’t cry, not for me. I’m OK now. I am. Go on, go live your life and don’t look back.”
I stepped back from him, wiped my cheeks clean of the tears. “I love you, Ryan, I always will, but I have to go. I have to try.”
He smiled, reached out and tipped my chin up. “I know. Dream big, baby girl. And don’t ever stop.”
24
Jet
I stared down at her body; the doctors finally let us in to see her. She didn’t look like my Spitfire. Pale, her eyes closed, lashes dark against her skin. So fucking pale. Lily grabbed Jasmin’s hands and clutched at her fingers. “Wake up, Jasmin, please wake up.”
Jasper tugged at her, pulled her out of the room. The monitors flickered, the heartbeat was there now, but they, the doctors, weren’t sure if Jasmin would wake up. Ever.
I took her hand, held it between mine. “Spitfire, this isn’t your time. You’ve got to fight. I know you’re afraid, Spitfire. I know it. Just, believe me, you can’t go, not yet.”
I bowed my head, tried to find the words of a prayer I’d heard once so long ago. But they escaped me, fled my desperation.
The doctors words hovered in the air between us, like living things. Fractured bullet, multiple internal lacerations, too much blood loss. They told us she was lucky to pull through the surgery, that when her heart stopped, they struggled to get it going again. But they had and she was still alive.
“Spitfire, Jasmin. Wake up.” I shook her arm, limp in my hands.
The monitors continued to beep a steady drone. I laid my hand on the bed, pressed my cheek into the palm of her hand.
Grief like I’d never felt before crushed me, left me on my knees, begging a God I wasn’t sure existed to let me keep her for a little while. Just a little while. That or take me instead, trade our lives.
Doctors came and went, nurses whispered on the other side of the curtain. Visiting hours closed, Lily and Jasper had to leave, though Lily flipped out, screaming that she wouldn’t go. Something Jasper whispered in her ear calmed her down and he’d gotten her out of the hospital.
I stayed. Just didn’t move when they asked me to go. Ignored them, held her hand, kissed her fingers.
Told her I loved her.
None of it worked.
She wasn’t coming back.
Jasmin had left me.
25
Jasmin
Moments come and go; some sear your heart closed forever. Others crack it wide open, leave you raw and exposed, hurting and wanting things you might not ever have.
This was not one of those moments.
Jet’s voice called to me, whispered my name, called me his Spitfire, and I ran toward him. I couldn’t see him, couldn’t feel him, but I knew he was there, waiting on me to find my way back to him. He was where I belonged, at his side. No matter the risks, no matter the cost, wherever Jet was, that was where my heart beat with life. How had it taken me so long to realize it? Maybe I’d known all along, maybe that was why I’d been so afraid.
But that fear was gone now. Determination filled me. I would not go without a fight.
I ran, and ran till I thought there was nowhere left. Darkness surrounded me and I fought the pull of it, fought the soft sweet seduction of the quiet and all it offered.
Not yet, this was not my time.
The first thing I truly heard was the beeping of a machine. Steady, rhythmic, irritating as hell if I had to listen to it for long. My eyelids fluttered giving me a glimpse of a sterile white ceiling, the edge of a curtain rod, rings holding a taupe colored material.
Elise. The gun. I’d been shot. I frowned, lifted one hand and touched my chest, feeling for the wound I knew was there somewhere.
I found it, just below my right breast, tender, sore. Tubes ran from my nose and throat, and the minute I thought about not being able to breathe, I started to panic.
Fear nothing.
I slowed my breath, relaxed my muscles. Looked around the small space. Jet was slumped in a chair beside me, his hands resting on the bed just a few inches from me.
I didn’t know how long I had been here, how long he’d stayed with me. I found the call button and hit it. A nurse stepped through the curtain, saw me, her eyes going wide. I lifted a finger to my lips, and then pointed at Jet. She smiled, gave me a wink and stepped over to the bed.
“Want me to take some of these tubes out?” she whispered. I gave her a nod and a thumbs up. Jet slept through it all.
Tubes out, I leaned back in the bed, exhausted. I licked my lips, breathing gratefully on my own. “Jet.” My voice cracked on his name. He didn’t move. I curled my fingers around his, squeezed them and tried again. “Jet.”
He let out a groan, head slowly coming up. “I’m not leaving.”
“I should hope not.”
He blinked once, a big exaggerated blink, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It hadn’t been that bad, had it?
I recalled seeing Ryan, my brother telling me I was dead. Maybe it had been that bad.
“Hey.”
Jet stumbled to his feet, leaned over the railing, and put his forehead to mine. “Spitfire. Oh my God, baby, they said you weren’t going to wake up.” His words sounded strangled, as if he couldn’t get them out right. “You died on the table. Your heart stopped.”
“I know. But it wasn’t mine to give away.” I touched his face. “You had it all along.”
He kissed me lightly, as if afraid I would break. “I love you, Spitfire.”
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” I said, staring up into his gold-flecked eyes, knowing that no matter what happened, that was the truth.
“I love you, forever.” I put a hand over his heart, felt it flutter under my fingers, knew that his heart beat for mine, as mine did for his.
“I promise.”
For a sneak peak at Shannon’s next New Adult Romance, turn the page!
Acknowledgments
First of all, I want to thank Lysa Lessieur. Not only is she the most amazing assistant ever, she beta reads for me, edits, and in general keeps everything else under control so that I can keep writing. On top of all that, she has become an incredible friend and High Risk Love would not have come about without her help.
Thank you to Sarah Hansen and Okay Creations, the genius behind the stunningly evocative cover art. I am so grateful to have you on my team, bringing my characters to life.
For all my readers who step out and take a chance on this book (which is so a ways outside of my usual genre) thank you for your unwavering support. You rock!
Thanks also must be extended to Faganello Counselling who helped me better understand trauma in men and how it affects them in their relationships, and their lives. Your help was invaluable!
As always, to my husband. You taught me about love, about how it isn’t always perfect, yet it’s always worth fighting for. You are my best friend and the inspiration for my love stories. I could not do this without you.
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