by Joshua Guess
Christmas is different. It has so many meanings. For Christians, it is a celebration of the life of Jesus. For others, a time to give generously when the world is cold and harsh. Yet others simply celebrate togetherness and the warmth of being a family.
For me, on this Christmas, I think about the real gifts we've given one another. Regardless of the season, we now live in a world as hard and sharp as the dead of winter. We've given each other the gift of life--fighting for one another to protect. But violence, even when it is meant to preserve, is so integral to who we are as a species that it's an easy gift to give.
We've given each other that gift of life in other ways. We've buckled down and learned to farm, working our fingers in the earth until our muscles protested and our bodies became weak. We have learned to make things to preserve life, people with no experience at all striving to understand the workings of armor. It may seem strange or silly to you to think of these things as gifts, but they certainly are. It would have been much easier for so many of us to become marauders, to take and take from others. I see the gift of honest effort as one of the greatest that has been given to us by each other, and I thank you for it.
The single greatest treasure that we've shared is also the one that surprised me the most. Seeing my fellow citizens of the compound, both before and after the other refugees and I fled it, find moments of real normality. Watching people tell jokes and invite others over for dinner. Seeing two sentries have a friendly disagreement about what NBA team had the greatest legacy. Watching a young boy and girl share that same first peck on the cheek that one of them would call their first kiss for the rest of their days.
We have been changed in ways that may take years for all of us to fully understand. We can't do the things we've done, make the decisions we've had to make, and remain the same people. The world as it is has shaped us and removed the complications that used to clutter our everyday lives. It has made us grim and frighteningly realistic about the risks we face on a daily basis.
But it hasn't taken the core of us. Everything I have seen makes me believe that there is something inherently good in people, powerfully so. When the worst case scenario came, we struggled and suffered, we cried our tears. Instead of falling into the instinctual behavior to kill and take, we found ourselves sharing compassion and love. We allowed ourselves to feel completely at ease with the way life is now, to take small pleasures and pass them on to others.
That's a gift that can't be measured. You have all given it to me, and I to you. Today, let's celebrate being alive and together. Remember with a happy pride that we've accomplished that by treating each other as we wished to be treated, and acting like the civilized people that we know ourselves to be.
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanuka. Whatever your reason for the season, enjoy today. You made it happen.
at 7:31 AM
How?
Posted by Patrick
When I read Josh's post to day, it hit me like a hammer that today is Christmas and it brought me great sadness. I look at the three girls sleeping on the floor, and I listen to them whimper and cry in their sleep, the exhaustion to great to give them escape from their nightmares, and wonder how? How do I tell them it's Christmas?
I don't believe that I can tell them, even though where we are is sort of a Christmas miracle in it self. We stumbled into a place that is well fortified against the dead and was well stocked. The girls got canned veggies for the first time in months, which may have saved their lives as much as the protection this place offers. Their gums have been bleeding badly and most of their teeth are loose with some missing. That and with the ease at which Alice broke her arm makes me think that they have scurvy.
While Alice talks a little both Alysa and Kylie have yet to say a word, considering where I took them from and the thing I saw there I'm surprised that they're still aware of the world at all. Even though Alice is only six and thankfully dosn't understand half of what she saw and heard, she paints a bleak picture of what mostly Alysa endured to keep them alive.
Yet those girls amaze me at how tough and strong they are, today they helped me cauterize my stump with out flinching. Good thing too because the tourniquet was turning my stump a little smelly, and I've already had to cut more of my arm off twice in the last two days. Guess thats what I get for making a rookie mistake buy putting my hand in reach of a zombie that I thought was down and out.
At least it was my left hand so my love life won't suffer. Sorry lack of sleep is effecting me, will try to post again soon.
at 5:42 PM
Monday, December 27, 2010
Roots
Posted by Josh Guess
We've managed to make it to where Gabby and her group are staying. I didn't want to tell anyone our destination in case any of our enemies had managed to figure out where she was. I didn't want to be intercepted on our way here.
So, we made it. I'm frankly kind of shocked at how organized and ordered everything here is. Everyone has food and shelter, there are people on sentry duty here and there. It's nice to see people outside our group again. We had a hard time getting here between the constant snow and random groups of zombies drifting across our path. One thing that I really miss? Road crews. You never really think about what they did for society until you don't have them anymore. Driving along pretty much any road with five or six inches of snow on it and patches of ice sucks in ways that I can't even describe.
I'm pretty exhausted from the trip. Getting here was frustratingly slow, and now that we've arrived I don't think we'll be going anywhere for a good long while. That is, we'll be staying as long as it's safe for us to do so. You might call me paranoid since I've seen no actual evidence that any of them have come after us at all, but I'm still worried about what would happen if the bastards that took our home from us figure out where we are.
It's not that this town isn't fairly defensible or that we lack people willing to put up a fight if one is brought to us. It's just that right now we're not at full fighting strength and we need time build ourselves up a bit. We have canned and packaged food, but right now no long term solutions for growing our own. All of that was left behind. We've got ammo for our guns and handheld weapons, but the shop we set up back at the compound to cast bullets and make our own shells is lost to us.
Right now, I'm thrilled to be around people, and ecstatic to be in a group that is big enough to ward off smaller threats. I love the safety and sense of community. It's just a fragile thing right now.
I recognize, of course, that almost no community anyone builds in the world as it is now can be stable or safe in the ways that used to count. Look at the compound--we had a decent population, armed to the teeth and as prepared as it was possible to be. Sitting on a stockpile of food and weapons, ready to die or kill to preserve it.
And all it took was one man to take it all away.
As I walk around this place, assisting where I can with first aid needs, I keep that simple fact in mind. We're nowhere near as well protected as we were at the compound. We're in a delicate situation. Yes, we are alive and together, which is a beautiful thing. We can pool our resources to do more than any of us could individually. And all it would take to ruin what good we have here is one person telling the Richmond soldiers where we are. Or anyone that has a jones against us, for that matter.
Hmmm. A parable just popped into my head that pretty accurately describes the situation:
A man is hanging from the edge of a cliff. In his haste to catch himself, he grabbed on to the only thing he could--a strawberry plant. As he hung there watching the thin roots slowly come out of the ground, he realized that he wouldn't be able to pull himself up. He resigned himself to his fate, knowing that he would surely fall, and at that moment he noticed a delicious berry amid the leaves. So, he ate it.
I've always loved that one. I don't think our situation is as bleak as the man in the story, but there is a ring of truth to it nonetheless. I'll enjoy what we have while we have it, and keep an eye out
for anyone taking aim at the roots...
at 9:44 AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
One Less Worry
Posted by Josh Guess
We're settling in pretty well here. Gabrielle, Evans and the other folks that found these hospitals chose a pretty good site to stay for an extended period of time. There are lots of empty rooms, and while we can't heat the place at least we are out of the wind and snow.
The people that have come here for medical care and decided to stay are integrating with each other and the original groups very well. My group is still sparkling new, and it's going to take a while for us to get used to one another. I'm not worried about it, to be truthful--after listening to Gabby and her people talk about the compound and what we had there, having to run away from it, they are very interested in hearing how my people did the same. It's a start.
With so many warm bodies to cover sentry duty, a lot of us have extra time on our hands. I've spent mine this morning trying to get in touch with some folks, mainly the groups that have been in and out of contact since we fled the compound. Aaron and his kids are hard to get hold of most of the time, and Patrick (god help him) is rarely in contact, as you might have read in his post. While I was sending out emails and making calls, though, I was given some interesting information that I'd like to share.
It seems that our fear of the Richmond soldiers coming after us is mostly baseless. I'm getting this info from someone who managed to communicate with one of our people still in the compound, but given who I talked to (and no, I won't be sharing that) I think it's pretty reliable.
See, I thought as many of us did, that the Richmond boys would get all manner of nervous with an enemy contingent (the refugees from the compound) moving freely about the countryside. The general wisdom was that as soon as they secured their power base in the home they took from us, they would be sending teams out to find us and gun us down.
Apparently, that isn't the case. According to my source, the remaining citizens of the compound have been causing just enough trouble to keep the Richmond soldiers busy--things like sentries leaving their posts at random, refusing to do chores for them such as washing clothes or making food, all sorts of little inconveniences that add up to a lot of time spent working for the men who took our home away.
I was worried at first that doing those kinds of things would basically incite a round of executions, but apparently the soldiers are dealing with pretty much every single person pulling little shit like this. They know they can't kill everyone, so they're trying different methods of controlling the folks we've left behind. None of the measures they've put into effect have done much good, so for the time being we refugees are safe.
I'm proud of them, I will admit. Resisting an occupying force is ballsy, and resisting just enough to keep them from doing anything more than guard the walls and get irritated is brilliant. I'm going to do my best to get in touch with the source inside the compound directly. I'd like to get a first hand account of how things have been since we ran.
One other contributing factor in how busy the Richmond soldiers are is the damn zombies. What started out as a small fraction of the total zombie population (which we called SnowTroopers) that are capable of functioning in the cold has now grown into a major problem. It seems that whatever mutation causes cold resistance in the zombie population spreads much easier and faster than the one that makes some of them smart. More and more of them have been popping up here, even in the last day, and word from the compound is that they are seeing daily numbers close to what we used to see in the fall. Dozens walking the walls at any given time, bursts of hundreds on bad days.
They've got the improved defenses that Will worked on for weeks at their disposal, of course. As much as I hate that fucker for giving us up to his Richmond friends, I have to tip my hat once again to his evil genius when it comes to defensive measures.
I'm taking a turn at sentry before long, so I need to wrap this up. One last thing I'd like to ask all of you out there--if you run in to anyone from the compound, try to help them get in touch with us. We want to try to get anyone and everyone who isn't currently either with Courtney and her group or trying to save his family (Patrick) here as soon as possible. We always seem to flourish as a group.
at 9:31 AM
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Unify
Posted by Josh Guess
Over the last day I've managed to get in touch with almost every refugee that managed to escape the compound. Since most of them are bunched together in groups, it wasn't that hard to contact at least one from each group. The only person who is still unaccounted for is Patrick, but he'll get in touch when he can. I'm pretty sure that everyone else is planning on heading this way, except for Courtney's group. They are still running their relief effort with a lot of momentum, so she wants to keep at it.
Actually, talking to Courtney this morning is the whole reason for this post. She updated me on a lot of what she, Steve, and the others have been up to. Little David is still with them, slowly coming to terms with losing Darlene to the Richmond soldiers when they came to take the compound from us.
Courtney passed on a lot of information to me, and I want to share it with you, because while the individual pieces might not be much alone, together they make a pretty interesting picture...
First is that recently her convoy has been making trips north. They've been as far as South Dakota in their efforts to help survivors struggling to cope with the winter along with the plague of zombies. That far north, the cold isn't just awful; it's sometimes deadly. What she saw there was swarms of zombies, none of them seeming to suffer from the cold at all beyond a little stiffness as they moved. People from her convoy confirmed multiple sightings of active zombies pretty much everywhere they went. So it looks like whatever mutation is causing them to develop cold resistance has either spread or at least become active almost everywhere. We suspected this, since so many people have reported seeing or fighting zombies since winter began, but this brings us data from a dozen states in a period of only a few weeks.
The second main thing we talked about was how successful her trip has been. At first she and her group left the compound to work with a coalition of volunteers from several other large survivor communities we had gotten in contact with. You'll recall that we managed to secure some awesome donations of manpower, vehicles, and supplies to make the trip possible. You might also remember that some of the large communities were reluctant to lend aid or supplies, but eventually gave in to help. The cool news here is that along their way, Courtney's people have discovered many more groups of survivors. Some of them have even joined the relief effort, giving fuel, people, vehicles, food...you name it. Many more of them decided to join with other groups to the south, bringing everything with them they could haul. This has resulted in a huge influx of people and needed materials to the south, swelling the number of people in the larger communities while also bolstering their supplies. Which, any way you cut it, is sweet.
The last thing we talked about was pretty awesome.
Most of the people that Courtney and the others talked to wanted to know what's been going on in the world, and how so many people had managed to get together so much to help those in need. So, she told them. She explained to every person who asked about how we at the compound had set up the relief effort, had managed to convince others to help us. Part of the reason that Courtney's efforts to help out have managed to go on this long is due to the assistance of some of the people she's been finding on the trip. People who have given much needed gas to keep the convoys running, or food to take on to the next stop. And pretty much every person who found out what the Richmond soldiers did to us is really, really pissed about it.
So....
The end result is that every single group of people she's run into or worked with has put an embargo on the compound for as long as the Richmond soldiers are in charge of it. Some of the smaller groups may have needed a little convincin
g from the larger ones, but in the end they all agreed. There will be no trading with the enemy. Since all of the groups that she's run into or worked with total more than six thousand people, the Richmond boys can't really do much about it. It's pretty great.
The other awesome thing is that Courtney and her people will be heading here at some point in the future, or at least sending a little aid our way as well. It seems that the plight of the refugees from the compound has moved the hearts of a lot of the people we've helped, and they have appealed to all the big survivor groups to help us in return. All told, it's a pretty amazing display of what I've been hoping to see all along--human decency and a sense of community on a large scale.
The dead walk the earth, hungry for the blood of the living. We have been damaged in every way by the zombie plague, and nothing can ever bring back what we've lost. After talking with Courtney, though, I am now certain beyond doubt that we can work together to remove the debris from the foundations of society, and unify to build something new atop them.
When I first came up with what ended up being a personal motto, the words seemed simple and obvious. Protect. Survive. Hope.
