by Leah Atwood
Feeling mentally exhausted, he ran his hand over his face and let out a tremendous sigh.
“Hey! What’s with that look on your face? What’s wrong?”
The sound of his mother’s voice snapped Alec out of his thoughts. When he turned toward the sound of her voice she was standing in the doorway of his bedroom.
“What look?” he asked.
She pointed at his face. “That look! The one you’ve always had when you’re worried about something or out of sorts.”
Alec chuckled. “It’s not as if I can see the look on my own face, Ma.”
“You, my beloved, look nervous,” Dottie said, narrowing her gaze as she stared him down.
He let out a laugh that rang false to his own ears. “Ha. Me? Not a chance,” he scoffed.
She narrowed her gaze. “Are you going out with Maggie tonight? Is that why you seem on edge?” she pressed.
“Ma! When have you ever known me to be nervous about a date? Never, that’s when.”
“Alec, Maggie Kilcannon is the luckiest girl in Cape Cod to be going out with you,” Dottie gushed. “You’re handsome. God fearing. Smart. And brave.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, even if you are a little biased,” he teased, earning himself a pinch on the cheek.
“I can’t stop thinking about her. That’s a new thing for me,” he admitted, sinking down on to the edge of his bed.
His mother closed the gap between them and sat down next to him. She leaned into him. “You really like her, don’t you?” Their eyes locked. He nodded. She let out a sigh.
“I knew it was bound to happen. Ever since you were a little kid you had all the girls in town wrapped around your little finger. You were always the one they chased. I used to wish you’d fall for one of them and that you’d be the one doing the chasing, but it never happened. Until now.”
He shook his head, still mystified by how quickly he’d fallen in love with Maggie. He’d never seen it coming. “I’ve had feelings for girls before, but it never felt like it could be—”
“The start of something lasting?” Dottie interrupted. “Love?”
Alec swallowed past the lump of emotion that had formed in his throat. He nodded his head. His mother had hit the nail on the head and given voice to his feelings. Maggie was a keeper. He knew it all the way down to his soul. The way he felt about her was once in a lifetime. And every time they were together his feelings kept getting stronger. He wanted Maggie to be his wife. And he was afraid to say it out loud, to give voice to the secret he’d been keeping for days now.
He had bought a ring for Maggie and he was going to propose to her. And he was scared to death, because he wasn’t sure whether she was going to think he’d gone crazy. Matter of fact, he wasn’t exactly sure himself if he’d gone round the bend. A few weeks ago, marriage had been the last thing on his mind. But the old saying was true. When you met the right person, you knew. And he’d learned by being a soldier that life took tragic twists and turns. Sometimes you did have to live in the moment.
“You have my support, son. No matter what,” Dottie said. “Your Dad too. We’re always going to back you, no matter what.”
“Thanks. You know that means the world to me,” Alec said, leaning over to sweep a kiss across his mother’s temple. “I love you both.”
“Donahue strong,” she said in a firm voice that trembled with emotion.
“Donahue strong,” Alec repeated, knowing he would need every ounce of strength tonight when he plead his case for marriage to the woman of his dreams.
**
Two Days Later
Maggie looked at her watch for what felt like the tenth time in a row. She looked outside the diner window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Alec. They had a dinner date for this evening and he was half an hour late. She knew she shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but she had to wonder if he was losing interest in their relationship. She hadn’t seen him in two days and their time together was now reduced to mere hours. Tomorrow she’d be saying goodbye to him as he was scheduled to head back overseas in the afternoon. She felt a hitch in her heart at the idea of Alec being so completely out of her orbit.
Where was he? She cast a sorrowful gaze out the window. She didn’t think her heart could take this. Alec was slowly slipping away from her. He’d canceled their date the other night at the last minute, saying something important had suddenly come up. Perhaps it was best this way. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when he went back to the service if things were over between them. That way she wouldn’t torture herself wondering about his safety.
Maggie glanced at her watch again. He was officially forty minutes late. Tears stung her eyes as she reached for her wallet and pulled a few ones out, then plunked them down on the table. That should cover the diet soda she’d been nursing as she waited for Alec. With trembling fingers, she jammed her hat onto her head, zipped up her parka and slung her purse onto her shoulder. Pushing past the glass doors of the diner, Maggie braced herself for the onslaught of wintry weather.
As she walked down Main Street towards her car, she saw a car up ahead that resembled Alec’s vehicle. Walking slowly alongside it, she peered over and spotted Alec sitting in the driver’s seat staring off into space. Furious that he was sitting out here while she’d been waiting for him, she walked up to the passenger side window and banged her palm against it. Startled, Alec met her gaze, his eyes filled with a sorrow she’d never seen before. Turning on her heel, Maggie briskly walked away, not wanting to stick around to hear what Alec had to say, if anything. She already had a good idea of what he wanted to say to her. It was over. And he was struggling to find a way to tell her. He was probably preparing to dump her right before he left Breeze Point. No doubt he considered it too much of a hassle to carry on a long-distance relationship! She thought angrily.
“Maggie.” Alec’s voice washed over her just as she yanked open the door of her uncle’s truck. “Wait. Please,” he called out. She felt his hand on her shoulder and she whirled around, shrugging his hand off in the process.
“Leave me alone, Alec!” she shouted, not even wanting to make eye contact with him.
“Maggie, talk to me. Please. I’m sorry about being late.”
“Ha! You were sitting in your car doing nothing while I was waiting for you.” She turned away from the sight of him.
“Maggie,” he groaned. “Just give me five minutes.”
Five minutes. What would it hurt? She reckoned. With a nod of her head to the passenger side, she jumped in on the driver’s side and revved the engine as Alec hopped in on the other side.
She turned toward him, noticing for the first time how shaky he seemed. Shadows lurked under his eyes.
Her love for him trumped any other emotion she might be feeling at this moment. “Are you all right? You don’t look so great.”
He nodded dully. “I-I’m not okay. I should have been honest with you the other night about why I couldn’t make our date.” The sound of him exhaling filled the silence in the car. “My Dad got his test results back.”
Comprehension dawned on Maggie. How could she have forgotten about the biopsy results? It all made sense now and she felt ashamed that she’d jumped to conclusions. Ashamed that she hadn’t picked up on Alec’s despair.
“W-What did the doctors say?” she asked. A part of her already knew the answer, but she needed Alec to say it.
“The cancer is back. With a vengeance,” Alec muttered. His head was bowed and he almost looked as if he was praying.
“Oh, Alec,” she cried. “I’m so sorry. Whatever you need or your family needs. I’m here. And I’ve been praying for your father, but I’m going to continue to do so.”
“Thanks. I can’t believe it,” he said. “I won’t even be around to help my family out. What kind of son am I to be on the other side of the world when my family is in crisis?”
She reached out for his hand and gripped it tightly. “Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Your family understands that
you’ll be home whenever you can and that your heart and soul is with them. What you’re doing by serving this country is incredibly patriotic and brave.”
Alec wiped away a tear streaming down his face. “Dad thinks he can beat this, even though the doctors don’t seem too optimistic.”
“Well then! We’ll be optimistic right along with him. I think if anyone can beat cancer, your father can,” Maggie said. “He has everything on his side, especially the love of his family and God’s divine grace.”
Alec sent her a shaky grin. “I should have known you’d make me feel better. How do you do it, Maggie? How do you manage to lift me up when I was feeling as low as a person could feel?”
“It’s pretty easy to do when you love a person.” She paused for a moment, then said in a firm voice, “I love you, Alec.” She almost shuddered when she said the words out loud. Was her timing off? No, it was the perfect time for honesty and complete truth. She loved Alec Donahue and she didn’t care very much who knew it.
“I love you too, Maggie.” Alec was looking at her with a poignant expression that made her heart flutter. Had she heard him correctly? Alec was in love with her? This moment would go down as one of the best of her entire life.
She heaved a great sigh of relief. They loved each other.
“I was all set to propose to you the other night. Then we got the news about my father. That’s why I cancelled on you.” He shuddered. “We were all in a state of disbelief, roaming around the house like ghosts.”
Her mouth flew open at Alec’s shocking statement. She raised her hands to cover her mouth just as a little squeak slipped out. Propose? As in marriage? After less than a month of knowing one another? Her first reaction was to feel elated, but a sliver of fear crept up her spine. It was a terrifying idea. How in the world could the two of them get married?
He held up his hands. “I know. It sounds premature, right? We’ve only known each other a short time and there’s a good chance we wouldn’t last past the first year.”
“That’s true,” she acknowledged. But, on the other hand, what if they did? What if they lived out the rest of their lives with one another? A genuine happily ever after.
“Here’s the thing. Because I’m a soldier I think of time differently than most people. Time might mean a visit home or saying goodbye to a family member. Time could mean a soldier who was talking to you one moment and blown up by a grenade the next. Time can mean someone slipping away from you from a relentless disease. All I know is that I feel as if I’ve known you for years, Maggie. And I’m head over heels in love with you. I’ve tried to play it cool. I’ve tried to ignore what my heart was begging me to acknowledge. But how can a person ignore the beating of his heart? It’s leading me straight to you, Maggie.” Tears were now sliding down her face and she couldn’t do a thing to stem the tide.
“Remember in the beginning how I told you I wasn’t looking for anything serious?” Alec asked.
Maggie nodded her head. “Yes. I remember. I’ve been thinking a lot about that, to tell you the truth.” She’d been so afraid that he couldn’t possibly love her the way she loved and adored him because of his not wanting a serious relationship. How very wrong she’d been.
Alec steepled his hands in front of his face. His expression was somber. “I’ve always heard that love comes when you’re not looking for it. That’s what happened with us. Love found me the moment you walked into my life. And even though I wasn’t looking for it, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is right. It’s the real thing.” He reached out and swept his hand across her cheek. “Trust me. Trust what you feel.”
Maggie bit her lip. “I love you, Alec. But I’m scared. Scared of what might happen to you. I don’t think I can bear to lose another person I love. I’ve already lost so much.” They were facing each other now. She saw a look of defeat wash over him. Maggie reached out for Alec’s hands and squeezed tightly. “And I don’t know the first thing about being someone’s wife.”
Alec met her gaze. His eyes glistened with emotion. “I can’t promise you that I’ll come back to you. If I did that would be a lie. Being a soldier is dangerous even in the best of times.”
Maggie shut her eyes to wipe out the image of her beautiful Alec being in harm’s way. She wrapped her arms around her middle and gently rocked herself side to side. It was a habit she’d had ever since she was a child. It provided comfort and calming. It centered her.
“Alec. I don’t know how to wrap my head around the idea of losing you.” She shook her head, feeling mutinous. Fear threatened to choke her. “It’s not fair. I love you, but I’ve already lost too many people. And I don’t think I’d make it through if anything ever happened to you. And I have no idea how to live a life as your wife when you’re on the other side of the world risking your life.” She choked back a sob. “I always thought marriage meant living day to day, side by side.”
Alec’s head was bowed, his eyes hidden from her. “Sometimes love means acceptance,” he said in a low voice. Alec heaved a tremendous sigh. “And even though I know you love me, that’s not enough. Being married, staying married…it would take every ounce of faith and fortitude and commitment the two of us have put together. I hear you, Maggie. And I love you enough to respect your reservations. If we were to have even a glimmer of a shot at marriage, we would both have to be equally committed.”
“I’m sorry, Alec,” she murmured, staring straight ahead as the heavens opened up and rain began pouring down from the sky. “I wish things were different.”
“I don’t want to do anything that hurts you. More than anyone I’ve ever known, you deserve peace. Joy. I’m not sure a relationship with me can give you that.” Leaning toward her, he pressed a kiss against her forehead. “Take care of yourself, my sweet Maggie.”
Before she could even utter a word of goodbye, Alec had vaulted from the truck. The moment he was gone it felt as if all the energy had been sucked out of the vehicle. Heart. Light. Life. Joy. He was all those things…and now he was gone. For a moment, she struggled to catch her breath.
Alec’s voice had been filled with sorrow. If she was a betting person she would wager that he was removing himself from her world to spare her any pain. And she loved him for being so noble, but she was still in agony at the loss of him.
Dear Lord. What am I going to do without him? I’m so afraid of losing him, but I’m losing him right now at this very moment. Right this very minute he’s walking out of my life. And it feels as if I’ve had my right arm severed.
What kind of life would she have if she always played it safe? Hadn’t she been doing that for a long time now? It hadn’t opened up her world for her or made her life any better. All it had done was create a loneliness deep inside of her.
She jumped out of the truck. “Alec!” she screamed as rain lashed at her face and body.
He was walking towards his car at a fast clip. She had to run to catch up to him! “Alec!” she screamed as she ran to reach his side. Relief flooded her as he turned around and began walking back toward her. She threw herself into his arms, blubbering like a baby as she repeated his name over and over again. She knew she must sound like a babbling fool, but she was past the point of caring.
“Maggie, what is it?” he said, looking down into her eyes, a perplexed expression on his face.
“I want you in my life, Alec Donahue. I’ve been afraid for most of my life. I’ve run away from anything that scared me or made me feel too much. Well, you’re all of those things. And I love you. And I so want to be Mrs. Alec Donahue,” she said.
“Are you sure? Really, truly sure?” Alec asked, his forehead marred by a frown.
“I don’t want to live a life without you. And I’m tired of playing it safe. No risk, no reward. You’re my reward after so many losses, Alec. I want to be your wife,” Maggie said, giggling at Alec’s ecstatic expression. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning.
Alec let out a whoop of joy as he reached for her waist and
lifted her up in the air. He spun her around as the rain continued to drench them.
“Put me down. People are going to think we’re crazy,” Maggie said with a chuckle.
“Crazy in love,” Alec said. He fished around in his pocket and dug out a velvet box.
Lowering himself to one knee, he popped open the box to reveal a modest-sized, round diamond solitaire. Maggie let out a cry of delight. It was gorgeous!
“Will you marry me, Maggie Kilcannon?” Alec asked. “I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to bring you peace.”
“I will, Alec. And I promise to be a proud military wife,” Maggie vowed as Alec slipped the ring on her slender finger.
“People are going to say we’re off our rockers to get married so soon,” Alec warned as he rose up to a standing position.
Maggie shrugged. “They might. Let ‘em. Our love will prove them wrong.”
“Yes it will,” Alec said with a nod. “Forty years from now we’ll look back on this moment and shake our heads and wonder what took us so long to know we were perfect for each other.”
Maggie threw her head back and roared with laughter. “What took us so long? This has been quite the whirlwind courtship. Oh Alec, let’s get out of this rain. I’m soaked.”
Alec grabbed her hand and pulled her close against him. He began humming an upbeat melody that sounded vaguely familiar to her. “How about if we dance in the rain? If you can dance in the rain you can do just about anything.”
Maggie shrugged and shot Alec a joyful smile. “Why not? We’re already drenched.”
Alec and Maggie began slow dancing in the rain, right in the middle of Main Street. Maggie was walking on faith by deciding to marry the man who held her heart in the palm of his hand. She was still scared about what the future might bring, but the thought of not having Alec in her life was the scariest thing of all. Together they would build a marvelous life, one filled with joy, laughter, God’s divine love and a house filled with children. It was possible, she thought dreamily. If they worked hard at it, all their dreams would be within reach. They just had to have a little faith.
