He returned to the morning room, to find a white-faced Lily huddled behind the gold brocade curtain, watching Hardwick’s carriage drawing away.
When he closed the door, she turned and crossed the room. “Thank you,” she said, taking his hands. “You were magnificent. I never dreamed Humphrey would follow me here and I’m truly sorry you’ve been dragged into all this.”
Dear God, her fingers were trembling. Joshua touched her ashen cheek as an unexpected wave of tenderness washed over him. “Please don’t apologize, Lily. You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing at all. And sending him away with a flea in his ear was the least I could do.”
“But he threatened you.”
Joshua grimaced. “You heard?”
“A little.” Lily blushed. “Humphrey’s voice carries. He sounded ... furious.”
Joshua suspected she’d opened the door to listen but he couldn’t blame her. “I think Lord Hardwick is all bark and no bite. But he’s persistent. I’ll give him that much.”
Lily’s gray eyes flashed and her mouth flattened with anger. “He could offer me all the tea in China, or even the moon, and I’d still turn him away. I cannot forgive him. I won’t forgive him.”
“And nor should you.”
Lily’s expression softened. “Thank you. For being so understanding.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Well ...” Lily lifted her chin and took a step back. “I suppose it’s time for me to take my leave. I do not wish to outstay my welcome.”
Joshua hadn’t relinquished her hands so he drew her back again. That odd pang was back in his chest. “You can’t go just yet.”
Lily gave him a quizzical look. “Why not?”
“Because” —Joshua pulled her into his arms—“I have yet to give you this.”
With one hand at the back of Lily’s delicate nape and the other gently framing her jaw, Joshua kissed her. He slanted his mouth over hers and to his delight, she responded without hesitation, opening to him, sinking into him, kissing him back with equal fervor. She tasted of cinnamon and chocolate, and something far sweeter—the flavor of Lily herself. Her mouth, her satiny skin, her sex—even after the long hours of wonderful bed sport last night—these were the things he couldn’t seem to get enough of. And before she left, if she’d let him, he intended to have his fill of her again.
Backing her toward the breakfast table, Joshua palmed her breast through her clothing. Lily arched into him and his mouth slid to her delicate ear, then the sensitive flesh just below, but there was too much damned fabric in the way. With clumsy fingers, he tugged her cravat loose, then licked and sucked at her neck. All the while, Lily unfastened buttons and ties until one of her delectable breasts was exposed.
With a low growl, Joshua bent his head and feasted on her succulent nipple. They bumped into the table and the silverware and crockery rattled but Joshua didn’t care. He slipped a hand beneath Lily’s pretty round arse and hoisted her onto the table. Her legs spread apart as he pushed his body between them.
“As much as I love your sweet tits, I have a craving for something else ...” Joshua pushed her skirts up and Lily, God bless her, leaned back and spread her thighs wider affording him a breathtaking view of her plump pink folds and the entrance to her sex. They glistened with moisture and as Joshua fell to his knees and caught the musky scent of her arousal, he licked his lips. His cock was throbbing, his balls felt like they were caught in a vice, but he would feast on her cunny’s honey sweet nectar until she came before he sought his own release.
His hands cupping the cheeks of her bottom, he plunged his tongue deep into her sex, thrusting and curling, exploring her most private place; Lily gasped and gripped his head with one hand. “Joshua,” she panted, “that feels so ... oh ...”
God how he loved it when she could barely speak. The thought he was driving her wild, sent his own lust spiraling. With his thumbs, he spread her flushed lips then licked slowly up each side of her sex, lapping her juices before he focused on the swollen bud at the top. When he circled the engorged nub with his lips and suckled, Lily arched backward, her hips jerking and a low, keening moan escaped her. “Oh, yes. Oh, God. Oh ...”
Lily’s whole body shuddered and a fresh wave of moisture flooded her folds, bathing Joshua’s lips and chin.
Sweet Jesus, she tasted good. Lily had collapsed back on the table, but he continued to lick and lave her until she quaked and came once more.
“Joshua,” she breathed and ran her fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what to say ... You’ve rendered me insensible.”
Joshua kissed the satiny flesh of each inner thigh then rose to his feet. “That’s a good thing I hope.”
“Yes, it’s good. Very good.”
“Excellent.” Lily’s bright copper-red hair was in disarray and her cheeks were pink. Her gray eyes were as soft as morning mist. If he were an artist, he’d want to paint her exactly like this.
As he leaned over her to kiss her breast then her mouth, she reached out and stroked his cock through his breeches. “I want you inside me one more time,” she murmured. “I want you to reach satisfaction too.”
“I was hoping you’d say that, Miss Godwin.” As Joshua unbuttoned his breeches, Lily pushed herself up to a sitting position again.
“You have the most magnificent cock, Lord Nash.” Her gaze was fixed firmly on his groin and at the sight of her wide-eyed interest, semen leaked from the slit of his member’s ruddy, engorged head.
“Can ... can I taste it? Your seed?” she whispered.
Joshua gripped his shaft, willing himself not to come all over Lily straightaway. “Yes. If you like.”
She brushed a gentle fingertip through the pearl of moisture then bought it to her lips. Closing her eyes, she sucked delicately, and Joshua’s balls contracted. Fuck. After all the women he’d bedded, he’d never seen anything quite so erotic.
He had to swallow to make his voice work. “What do you think?”
She opened her eyes and smiled. “You taste like salt and musk and something tangy. I think I like it.”
Oh, God. If he didn’t take her now, this would all be over before he even got inside her.
Holding his cock steady with one hand, Joshua slid Lily toward him over the polished table until her entrance sucked at him. Thrusting his hips, he sank into her on a slow, steady glide; the lush, tight heat of her sex enveloped him completely and he groaned into her ear. “Hold on to me, Lily,” he urged. “This is going to be a wild ride.”
* * *
Lily wrapped her arms around Joshua’s neck and tilted her hips forward. The sensation of his hot, hard length filling her, stretching her, was already sparking frissons of pleasure deep inside her. It wouldn’t be long before she came again.
Joshua began to rock his hips, rhythmically pumping in and out of her and she closed her eyes, reveling in the exquisite whirlwind of sensations assailing her: the feel of Joshua’s rock-hard shoulder muscles beneath her hands; the hot graze of his lips when he devoured her neck and jaw; the taste of his tongue when he claimed her mouth; the sound of his ragged breathing. A cramp of bittersweet longing squeezed her heart. This was the last time she would do this with Joshua and she wanted to remember it all. Every last detail.
He dragged his mouth from hers and plunged his fingers into her hair. “Look at me, darling Lily,” he breathed. “I want to watch you when you come.”
Dare she hope that he was storing away memories too?
As Joshua’s deep blue eyes locked with hers, he started to thrust faster. Harder. Her blood pounded, her pulse raced, and as she climbed higher and higher, the excruciating tension inside her wound tighter. Too tight. And then she shattered. Burying her face against Joshua’s neck, she cried his name as ecstasy crashed through her once again.
A moment later, Joshua’s grip on her tightened. “Christ forgive me. I can’t ... hold ... back.” Still buried deep inside her, his cock swelled and then pulsed as pleasure claimed him
as well. His lips found hers and as he kissed her, she absorbed his guttural groan.
When he pulled his mouth away, Lily followed him, desperate to steal another kiss but he was suddenly lashing her against his body, hugging her so very tight. His chest rose and fell as he fought to catch his breath and she could feel the crash of his heart against her naked breast.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, Lily,” he murmured against her hair.
It was Lily who drew back this time and she was horrified to see a look of utter anguish on Joshua’s face. “Why? What’s the matter?”
“I didn’t pull out. I came inside you.”
Oh. Lily bit her lip. Oh.
“It ... It will be all right. I’m sure of it,” she said softly when Joshua didn’t say anything else.
“Perhaps.” Joshua’s brow had knitted into a deep frown. He framed her face in his hands so she couldn’t look away. “I’ve betrayed you in the worst possible way, Lily. I assured you I would take care but I didn’t. If there should be consequences ... if you should find yourself with child, you must tell me.”
“These things happen—”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you cursed me to the farthest reaches of hell, Lily. You have every right to be angry. Promise me that you’ll send word if you discover you are pregnant.”
She attempted to lighten the moment with a jest. “Why? So you can marry me?”
The expression in his eyes was grave. Deadly serious. “Yes.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want you to marry me out of pity, Joshua. After everything that has happened with Humphrey, there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of: I won’t marry unless it’s for love and I have you to thank for that revelation. And, if it turns out I am with child, my godmother will take care of things. She cares about my welfare and has the means to support me. ”
“But—”
“Shhh.” Lily put a finger to his lips. “No buts, Joshua. Do not worry about me. I can look after myself.”
Joshua sighed. “You are as strong-willed as you are beautiful.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead and when his spent member slipped from her body, she felt the loss more keenly than she ought to.
Fighting back an unexpected wave of tears, Lily busied herself with putting her clothing to rights as Joshua did the same.
“I’ve ruined your hair,” he said with a grimace. “Let me order some hot water for your room and I will get one of the maids to help you.”
Lily nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“Lily?”
She blinked away tears and forced herself to smile as she lifted her face.
“Oh, Christ.” Joshua searched her eyes. “I have upset you, sweetheart. I meant what I said before. I will make things right if you need me to.”
“No, no. I’m all right. Honestly. I’m just not very good at good-byes. That’s all.”
Joshua frowned. “Are you sure?”
She forced herself to smile. “Yes. I’m sure.”
Joshua studied her for a moment more then took a step back and helped her down from the table. They’d managed to knock over Joshua’s cup of coffee and it had spilled onto the carpet.
“I think your servants might have worked out by now what we’ve been up to,” Lily said. Her face grew hot at the thought of having to face anyone.
Joshua touched her cheek. “They can be trusted to be discreet. Do not fret.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Good.”
Joshua crossed the room to ring for the staff. When his back was turned, Lily slipped from the room, heading for the guest bedchamber. After all, what else was there left to say except good-bye?
* * *
A half hour later, Joshua escorted Lily down the snow-dusted front stairs of Chiltern Abbey to his waiting carriage. Deborah, the young maid, who’d shown her to the drawing room on Christmas night and had redressed her hair a short time ago, was already inside and would travel with her all the way to London. Aside from the coachman, Joshua had also appointed two of his most trusted footmen to accompany her, just in case she came across a belligerent Humphrey during the journey. They wore plain clothes rather than livery so that no one would know who’d provided the carriage and staff.
“Thank you again, for everything, Lord Nash,” Lily said quietly as they paused by the carriage steps. “I will always be grateful for your assistance and generosity of spirit. And dare I say it, your care? You’ve made my Christmas truly memorable.”
Joshua captured her gaze as he raised her gloved hand to his lips. When he spoke, his voice was meant only for her. “I would do it all again in a heartbeat, Lily. I will never forget your stay at Chiltern. The memories will keep me warm at night for a long time to come.”
Unable to speak for fear her voice would crack with emotion, Lily inclined her head then allowed Lord Nash to hand her into the carriage. The door closed against the frigid air and she summoned a smile in response to Lord Nash’s wave, but as the carriage drew away, heading for the wrought iron gates, a tear slipped down her cheek.
Even though she’d told Lord Nash she could look after herself come what may, sorrow pierced her foolish heart. After all the intimacies they’d shared, Lord Nash hadn’t asked her to stay.
He hadn’t asked to see her again.
All he’d offered was a conditional marriage proposal born out of duty. For a rakehell, he was considerate. But consideration wasn’t enough.
She wanted love. His love. Because despite her promise to herself that her fling with Lord Nash—Joshua—would mean nothing, in her heart of hearts, she knew that wasn’t true.
In the space of a single day and a single night, she’d fallen hopelessly, madly, head-over-heels in love with the man. Foolish she may be, but she was under no illusions that he would ever feel the same.
It seemed her heart was destined to be broken twice this Christmas.
Chapter 7
Solsbury House, Cavendish Square, London
New Year’s Day, 1820
Her courses had arrived on New Year’s Eve.
Whilst Lily was relieved for the most part, a tiny little piece of her heart was sad that she wouldn’t be a mother in the foreseeable future. That she wouldn’t be able to create a wonderful, warm, and loving family of her own, like the one she’d had all those years ago before her parents had been taken from her in the space of a week by a virulent ague. When she’d been engaged to Humphrey, one of her favorite daydreams had been about holding her own wee babe in her arms. Of kissing his or her soft downy head. Of how proud and overjoyed Humphrey would be, especially if they had a son.
In the days after she’d left Chiltern Abbey, when reality had truly struck home—she’d vacillated wildly between the alternate options if she did find herself in the ‘family way’; should she live the lonely life of a single, unwed mother in some far-flung place in perpetual shame, or should she go to Joshua as he’d asked her to, even though she’d claimed she’d never marry unless it was for love?
But now it didn’t matter. She wasn’t pregnant and she had her whole life ahead of her. It was the beginning of a new year; she should be looking forward to the future, not moping about Solsbury House, idling the hours away as she watched the snow blanket Cavendish Square.
Her godmother, Aunt Winnie, had begun to notice her melancholia too.
“Lily, my dear. Why the glum face?” her godmother asked gently when she gracefully breezed into the drawing room and discovered Lily huddled on the window seat with her knees drawn up to her chin in a most unladylike fashion.
“I think it’s the dull weather, that’s all,” lied Lily, attempting a smile.
Aunt Winnie’s forehead creased into a slight frown. Even though she was approaching the age of sixty, she was still a very handsome woman; tall and lithe, her blonde hair might have turned a silvery gray, and her complexion might not be as smooth as it once was, but her eyes still sparkled with liveliness. She’d been married twice, and when Lily had commence
d her second Season, she’d encouraged her to only ever marry for true love. Her short-lived first marriage—an arranged one to a priggish earl when she’d only been seventeen—had been far from blissful, whereas her second marriage to the Marquess of Solsbury, shortly before she’d turned thirty, had been a love-match. Or just heavenly, according to her godmother. The marquess had been quite the rake and Aunt Winnie was firmly of the opinion that reformed rakehells made the very best husbands.
Aunt Winnie gave a soft sigh and when she joined her on the window seat, Lily leaned back against her, comforted by the scent of her lavender perfume.
After a few minutes Aunt Winnie smoothed a loose lock of Lily’s undressed hair away from her cheek and dropped an affectionate kiss on her temple. “I know your aunt’s visit yesterday was not the most pleasant, but neither she nor your uncle will trouble you further. I’m certain of it.”
Lily was rather certain too. Despite her gloomy mood, she smiled at the memory of Aunt Winnie scolding Aunt Harriet about how callously she’d treated Lily on Christmas Eve. Her words still echoed in Lily’s ears: “Harriet, both you and your husband are barking mad if you are willing to overlook Lord Hardwick’s transgression. You mark my words, if you keep insisting that Lily must marry the cad, I shall investigate if there’s grounds for committing you both to Bedlam.”
When Lily didn’t respond to her observation, Aunt Winnie continued, “Unless of course, your low spirits have nothing to do with your aunt and uncle, or even Lord Hardwick for that matter. Perchance there is a certain handsome viscount on your mind ...?”
Lily sat up straighter and pretended an aloofness she didn’t feel in the slightest. “Whilst I hold Lord Nash in the highest regard for the assistance he provided, I am not pining for his suit if that’s what you are suggesting.”
Aunt Winnie gave her a knowing smile. “If you say so, my dear. Now, about that stack of invitations I received this morning. We should go—”
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