by Lisa Olsen
Not three steps into the parking lot I felt a warm rush of fluid and we all stared at the ground stupidly, paralyzed for a moment as my water broke. Under the harsh streetlight, I saw tinges of blood. It wasn’t supposed to be bloody, was it? “Parker?”
“I’m gonna get you there, darlin’, don’t worry. Walter, hold her up, I’ll go bring the car around.” I felt myself handed off, but my sense of the passage of time for Parker to get the car was severely warped by the onset of another contraction. Walter must have picked me up, because the next thing I knew, I was in the front seat of Parker’s car.
Parker kept up a steady litany of supportive instructions as he drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital. He remembered way more of the childbirth class than I did, but nothing I was supposed to do to get through the pain did any good.
After another particularly strong one, I noticed I’d cracked the hand grip on the door handle from holding on too tightly. “It’s not helping,” I panted, out of breath. “I feel like I’m gonna split in two.”
“We’re almost there. It’ll be alright, I promise.”
I caught his expression though, there was definitely fear behind his eyes.
Thanks to the pre-registration process, checking into the hospital went swifter than checking into a hotel, and I was wheeled up to the labor and delivery floor within minutes. Somehow I’d gotten it into my brain that once I got to the hospital everything would be okay, but the pain didn’t lessen as Parker helped me change into a hospital gown and climb onto the bed.
“This is crazy, I’m gonna have the nurse give you something to kill the pain.” Parker reached for the nurse call button after we’d been left alone for a few minutes, but I shook my head.
“No, no drugs.” I couldn’t take a chance it might affect Bunny adversely. And if there was a problem, I wanted to be in my right mind to deal with it. Sure, the pain was awful, but so far it wasn’t more than I could handle. Besides, women had been giving birth drug free for thousands of years. I could handle it. God, I was stupid.
The nurse arrived all the same, so Parker must have pressed the button. Asking me a zillion questions, she paused patiently when I couldn’t answer due to the pain, picking up again as if nothing happened once it passed.
“Did you call Dr. Hathaway?” I managed to get in a question of my own.
“He’s not on call tonight. Dr. Helfer is going to attend to you,” she replied with a friendly smile.
“What? But Hathaway is supposed to be here, he said we could call…” Another contraction hit, I could have sworn they were coming faster.
“I’ll go call him, Merce.”
“No, don’t leave me.” I held onto his hand with a deathgrip, and I saw him wince. Forcing myself to loosen my hold before I broke him like I broke his car door, I pleaded with him to stay. “Please, Parker.”
“I’ll do whatever you want, sweetheart.” He brushed the hair away from my brow and kissed my forehead. “Nurse, we were led to believe it’d be her own OB/GYN to deliver the baby.”
“Right, and it probably will be when she’s ready to deliver sometime tomorrow morning,” she nodded. “But there’s no need to wake him up now, it’ll probably be hours yet before she’s ready to push. You want him to be well rested, don’t you?”
I officially hated the friendly nurse with a passion. How was I supposed to survive for hours? A scream caught in the back of my throat as I felt another contraction hit, followed by a rush of warmth. Something was wrong, I could tell.
“Oh, my God.” I heard Parker say by my side. “That’s not… it’s not supposed to do that is it?”
“Sweet Mary…” she breathed. “I’ll go get the doctor.”
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I whimpered, too weak to lift my head off the pillow to see what had them freaked out.
“It’s gonna be fine, Mercy. They’ll know what to do.”
I could tell he didn’t believe it though. My head lolled to one side and I caught sight of deep, red stains on the sheets below my waist. “No… no, this can’t… I can’t…” Fat tears rolled down my cheeks as another wave of pain tore through me and I somehow found the breath to scream, not caring who heard me anymore.
“Don’t leave me, okay?” My voice was little more than a croak when it passed.
“I’ll never leave you, Mercy. I love you.” He kissed the back of my hand, holding it over his heart.
I believed him. And all at once I knew I felt the same way. “I love you too, Parker. I thought you should know, just in case…”
“Don’t…” his brows twitched together. “It’s fine. We’re in the hospital, they know exactly what to do. In ten minutes we’ll have a perfect baby girl and you get an interesting new scar for bikini season.” He gave a fair approximation of his regular grin.
“Parker, that’s…” I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even scream as the pain intensified. Dimly, I became aware of other people in the room, and a flurry of activity around me. A dizzying sensation swept over me as I was moved to a gurney and I felt Parker drop my hand. “Parker…” I struggled to call out to him, but I don’t think I made any noise.
“I’m right behind you. It’ll be okay, angel, you’ll see.”
My last fleeting thought was that I hoped to God he was right and I lived to see them both before I slipped into the comforting embrace of darkness.
Chapter Twenty-One
I hate hospitals.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned that before, but you can probably guess why. Nothing against the people who work in them. I’ve met my share of helpful staff, that’s not my beef at all. Even before I almost died in one, they made me uncomfortable, and since the cocktail of Sam, Adam and Raziel’s Grace made me more than human, I had extra reason to be uneasy.
Nothing good ever seemed to come from a hospital stay. Not to say they didn’t save lives and all, but in general, hospital = bad times in my books. I’d almost started to convince myself that it could all change with the baby coming though. Finally, a happy reason to go to the hospital. I’d gone through the tour with an open mind, and was impressed with the friendly and knowledgeable staff there.
But when I woke up alone in the darkened hospital room, I knew I shouldn’t have been so optimistic.
I had on a fresh hospital gown, covered in little blue flowers. No sign of blood or anything to indicate how bad things had gotten. It took me a few seconds to realize there wasn’t any sign of the baby either, my flat (well, flatter) stomach being the only clue I’d delivered her. I didn’t feel any pain, just a general soreness around my abdominal area.
So where was my Bunny?
Or Parker for that matter? Then again, who knew how long I’d been out cold? Maybe he was with her? Or getting a cup of coffee or something?
Looking around for the nurse call button, I found it looped around the bedrail and was in the process of reaching for it when the toilet flushed in the bathroom. Flooded with relief, I sat higher, expecting Parker to come through the door, but it was Daphne who opened it.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she smiled sunnily. “Great, now I can open some of these curtains, huh?” Without pausing she went to the windows and I realized it was actually mid-afternoon.
“Where’s Parker?” I asked, swallowing against the dryness in my throat. Somehow I thought my voice should be worn out from screaming, but I supposed I had the Grace to thank for healing it.
“He’ll be up in a minute. He went down to get you some ice cream.”
An odd choice, I thought, but it eased my mind. Ice cream sounded celebratory. Pushing the button to sit upright, I tested my range of motion, and everything seemed to be in working order, that had to be a good sign too. “Did everything go alright?”
“Like a charm,” she grinned. “You should rest your voice though.”
Ignoring the advice, I didn’t bother to remind her about the healing Grace. “But they whisked me in there so fast, how is she?” I pressed, n
eeding to hear she’d come through it alright.
“You’re fine.”
“No, how is Bunny? Is she healthy?” Is she normal?
“Bunny?” She stared at me blankly.
Parker stuck his head in, smiling once he saw me up and talking. “Hey, how’s my girl? They didn’t have any chocolate, but I got mint chip. I figured that might be more soothing anyway. How are you feeling?” He leaned down to kiss my forehead.
“I’d be better if you could tell me everything went down alright. Did they have to do emergency surgery?”
“No, the doc said it all went like clockwork. You’re gonna be fine.”
“But what about Bunny? Is she okay? I’d like to see her.”
Parker traded looks with Daphne and she shrugged. “I don’t know, she asked about that before. You want me to stop by your place and pick up a stuffed animal?”
They had to be screwing with me. It was annoying, but at least I had the comfort of knowing they wouldn’t joke around like that if she was really sick or worse. “Funny, guys. I’d like to see my baby now if it’s all the same to you.”
“What baby?” Daphne asked blankly and a kernel of worry started to form in the pit of my stomach.
“The baby. My baby. The entire reason I’m here. I’d like to see her.” Deciding the joke had gone far enough, I pressed the button to call the nurse.
“Whoa, maybe you should take it easy.” Parker took the call button away from me, but not before I saw the little light go on. “They said she might be loopy, didn’t they?”
“Yes, but she’s been out of recovery for a while now,” Daphne frowned, and I lost it.
“Would you two stop talking about me like I’m not here? I want to see my baby and I want to see her now.” If I had to get up and search for her myself, I would. In fact, it didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. I started to pull back the covers as the nurse came in. “Oh, thank God,” I breathed in relief. “Can you please have them bring my baby in? I’d like to see her.”
“You know, we really don’t encourage you to bring babies in for visiting time because of all the germs. But as long as you keep it short, I don’t see a problem with it.” The nurse looked to Parker and Daphne as if they’d be the ones to fetch said baby.
“You don’t recommend newborns visit in the maternity wing? On the tour they said we could keep her with us the whole time once all the initial tests were done.”
“Well sure, on the maternity floor.” Her smile grew puzzled. “But we generally don’t bring them down here.”
I think I exercised my patience pretty well as I found my calm voice. “Why am I not on the maternity floor?”
“Why would you be? You had a tonsillectomy.”
“Is everyone high? I was nine months pregnant when I checked in.” Everyone laughed and I felt like my eye was about to explode in its socket if someone didn’t take me seriously pretty damn quick. “Hello? Do not tell me you screwed up my chart and lost my child. You’d better find her fast or you’re gonna have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands, lady.” My eyes blazed with anger and frustration and it took everything I had not to summon the sword to get her attention.
“I think maybe I’d better get the doctor,” the nurse murmured, backing away.
“Please do,” I glowered, falling back against the pillow when she left the room. “I can’t believe this. You hear about crap like this on TV, but you never expect it to be true.”
“Merce, lie back and take a breath.” Parker picked up my hand. “I’m sure they’ll sort everything out.”
“How can you say that when she’s missing? When’s the last time you saw her? Daphne, can you go down to the nursery and see if you can find her please?”
“Mercy…” Daphne sat on the edge of the bed instead of doing as I asked. “You know we love you, but we don’t know what you’re talking about. There is no baby. The nurse was right, you’re here to have your tonsils out.”
“That’s crazy. I had my tonsils out when I was fourteen. Parker, tell her…”
“Maybe you’re having a bad reaction to the anesthesia?” He shrugged and a ribbon of fear sliced through me.
“No… this isn’t happening…” What the hell was going on?
“Whoa, where do you think you’re going? You’re supposed to stay in bed.” Parker blocked my path the moment I swung my legs off the side of the bed.
“I have to find her. She’s somewhere in this hospital and if neither of you will help me, I’ll have to do it myself. Now get out of my way.”
“Be reasonable…” He started to protest and I physically moved him aside. I wasn’t up to full strength yet, but it was definitely enough to overpower him.
“Mercy, calm down,” Daphne pleaded. “We’ll help you, okay? Just lie back down.”
I recognized the ploy for what it was, and I wasn’t in the mood. Unfortunately, the doctor picked that moment to show up, some guy I’d never seen before.
“I understand we’re having a bit of disorientation, is that right?” He smiled condescendingly and I ignored him, looking for my clothes, but they were nowhere to be found.
“She’s a little off kilter today,” Parker replied. “Is that normal after a routine surgery?”
“Why don’t you have a seat and let me take a look at you?” The doctor laid a hand on my shoulder and I brushed him off.
“Thanks all the same, doctor, but unless you can point me in the direction of my baby, I’m not interested.” I couldn’t find any clothes, so that meant I’d have to hope the crossover flap stayed closed on the thin robe. Not that I cared all that much though, my first thought was for finding Bunny.
“Doc, she doesn’t, ah… have a baby.” I heard Parker say, sotto voce and I lost it.
“Don’t say that!” I yelled, a sob rising in my chest. I didn’t know why none of them remembered my pregnancy, but I knew in my heart I wasn’t delusional. “I will find her and then I’ll show you.”
“Ma’am, you need to get back into bed.” The doctor motioned and a male nurse appeared in the doorway.
“You can’t keep me here, I know my rights.”
“They’re just trying to help you, darlin’.” Parker took their side as Daphne looked on, her face creased with worry. “Get back in bed and we’ll get you checked out.”
“I told you, I have to find her.” It was like talking to a stone. And then the three of them advanced on me. “Get away from me, I don’t want to hurt you.” But I’d be damned if I let them keep me there against my will.
“No one wants to hurt you,” the doctor replied, but I felt multiple hands on me, urging me towards the bed. I shoved at them, my angelic strength easily outmatching theirs, until I felt the prick of a needle and I knew I was screwed.
“Please, don’t do this,” I pleaded with Parker, whose face suddenly loomed large before my eyes. “I have to find her.”
“Mercy, they’re gonna help you, I promise.”
“You promised she’d be okay,” I sobbed as I fought against the drugs, but they walked me back to the bed and there wasn’t much I could do about it, save fighting my way clear with a sword, which was impossible.
“Ma’am, if you’ll just calm down…” the doctor insisted, but all it brought was a surge of panic as I felt the darkness tease the edge of my vision.
“You calm the fuck down. Adamiel!” I screamed for the one person who might help me. The one person who might still remember the child that drove a wedge between us. “Adamiel!” I screamed again. At least I thought it was a scream. As the drugs took hold of me, everything faded into oblivion.
* * *
I expected to wake up in a padded cell, my wrists strapped down with Velcro restraints, but it was the same hospital room when I opened my eyes. Parker slouched in a chair in the corner, passed out cold. He looked exhausted, or maybe just worried, even in his sleep.
Careful not to make a sound, I lifted up my gown, examining my abdomen closely. There had to be some way I coul
d prove I’d carried a child for the past nine months. With the way the delivery had gone I’d assumed I was headed for an emergency c-section when they wheeled me away, but I found no sign of a scar, not even any stretch marks. With my angelic healing, I wasn’t sure what that meant. The only indication I’d been pregnant at all was a few extra pounds I’d gained around my midsection, but that could be from overeating. No… I wasn’t about to go there, I wasn’t crazy.
I did have a baby, and I had to find her. The only trouble was… I had no idea how to go about doing it.
It was like someone hit the reset button and put everybody back to where they were before Christmas. I wondered if Daphne or Parker remembered anything about fallen angels or my Grace? What would I do if it had all been wiped clean?
No threat of demons trying to kidnap me, no Azazael hijacking Ben… was Matty still married to Oriana? What about Nelo? Would I find him living in our basement? Our basement… did I still live with Parker or was I back in my apartment again in that reality? If nothing supernatural touched my life anymore, I could go back to being regular old Mercy. Bartender, lover of showtunes and sunscreen. Life could get back to normal.
Only I wasn’t normal.
I was still me, Grace and all, and somewhere out there was my baby, whether they remembered her or not.
First things first, I had to get out of the hospital before they had me committed. It was a safe bet I wouldn’t find Bunny in the nursery. Someone had gone through a lot of trouble to spin the new reality, and the only way to find her was to find out who was behind it.
“Hey, you’re up.” Parker straightened in his chair. “Feeling better?”
