by Jana LaPelle
I smile sadly down at her and nod my silent agreement, and we both call out together to The Dagda and Danu. I know that this will cost her strength, strength that could be used to fight this curse, this curse that I have placed upon her, and I call out with all the sadness and repentance in my soul to The Dagda as she calls to Danu.
Several moments go by before both The Dagda and Danu appear before us. I'm kneeling before them cradling Ashlinn who has once again succumbed to the curse as she continues to battle for her soul. I swallow hard before saying, "I need your help. She is struggling. Please, we need to break this curse. I had no idea that this would happen. We need to help her and her child." I say, not beyond begging at this point.
Danu jerks her head toward me looking for an explanation, "Jasmine just informed me this evening. Please, this is not what I wanted. We have to save her."
The Dagda looks towards Danu and says, “Go Danu. Retrieve the witch. This ends now.”
Looking at me, The Dagda says, "Son, I’m proud of you. I knew you would come around. You should know that Alaric is going to try to rip you to pieces once this is done. I'm not sure if you will be able to salvage anything of your friendship." With that, he cups Ashlinn's face in his hands as I stand and says to her, "You are stronger than you know. Hang in there, my wee little lass. Help is coming." He rests his thumb on her forehead for a moment before pulling away as Danu appears with the witch that cast the terms of the blood contract.
Morgwais approaches and greets the two deities from the Otherworld and then her wayward witch. "Come Zoey. We have much to do, and we must do it quickly." With an awl made from bone, she goes about collecting blood from Danu, Zoey, and myself as I cradle Ashlinn close to my chest. Morgwais and Zoey take the collected blood from us all and begin to chant. The night is dark and ominous, and the wind whips loudly about us. It sounds like they are speaking in reverse and as they conclude, I feel the pull to Ashlinn dissipate. I breathe a little easier until I realize that she isn't waking.
“Why isn’t she waking? What went wrong?” I demand, worry lacing my gruff voice.
Morgwais puts a calming hand on my shoulder and says, "Rest easy my prince. She has succumbed to her exhaustion." She then lays a hand on Ashlinn's belly and says, "The babe be strong and has been unaffected by the dark majic of the blood contract. My Lord, she be simply drained and must sleep to gain her strength. Yes?"
I look up to see The Dagda and Danu, the latter of which is glaring at me. I gently hand Ashlinn over to Nym and say, "Nym, can you see to it that Ashlinn is tucked into her bed. I want all of you to stand guard tonight. I will be up shortly to sit by her bedside to watch over her." I turn to Jasmine, "If anything changes and you feel that I should be informed, please come find me as soon as possible. I should be up before long."
“Yes, my Lord, and thank you. I will keep watch over her.” Jasmine does one of her mid-air curtsies and follows Ashlinn’s Sentinels.
Turning to The Dagda, I say, "Thank you for hearing me tonight and coming to my aid; I'm not worthy of your attention to me. Since the moment that I met you, you have been there for me. I'm grateful that you heard my call tonight." In the background, I hear the witches increasing the wards. The Dagda and Danu will not be able to leave if my calculations are correct. "Please come in. We have much to discuss. I know that the hour is late, but it's time that I let go of all the anger that I have held onto, and that starts tonight. Come, I need your council." I say solemnly. He nods his agreement as I watch Nym carry Ashlinn back to the manor, followed by the rest of her Sentries that have become so attached to her, in such a short period of time. Then her mother Danu and Jasmine follow closely behind as they get caught up on the most recent events.
I’m glad it’s going to be only The Dagda and myself as we make our way to the manor and I take us to a private sitting room with a blazing fire in the fireplace. Before I can say anything he asks, “What changed your mind son?”
Feeling like a child and in some ways, I may still be, I say, "I never wanted to hurt her. I chose to be with her before she was even born… I never dreamt that I would cause her this much pain. It would seem that I'm doomed to cause the females that are important to me pain." I say as I stare into the fire intently. Abruptly, I turn to pour a glass of bourbon and offer the god before me a drink as I knock back the fiery liquor in one swallow and pour another.
“Tarron, it is not you that causes them pain, just the circumstances they find themselves in. Son, I need to know after this is all over, what do you want from Ashlinn? What is your end goal?” He asks.
"I need to mend my relationship with you first and foremost, then I need to salvage what I can from my and Alaric's friendship, I will understand if that is not possible, but I don't think that Ashlinn will allow anything else. She is so headstrong and willful, and when she sets her mind to something, there is no other alternative. Morgwais has seen that she and I will become great friends in the future. Dagda, I have allowed the anger and resentment that I feel toward my father to cloud my judgment in all things. I'm not really sure why I thought shutting you, and Alaric out was wise. I know now how wrong that was. Ashlinn has opened my eyes to that. Don't get me wrong. I still want to overthrow The Morrígan. She has her own agenda, and nothing good will come from her intentions. I'm just not sure how I move on from here?" I ponder looking to my mentor, the one that I shut out for so long knowing now how wrong I was in doing so.
"Tarron, we all struggle with the curve balls that life throws at us, it's how you choose to move on from here that counts. I will be here for you if that is what you want. I cannot speak for Alaric. The only reason I hesitated in coming to you was that he had just recently regained control of his beast and he is not in a good place. I think that once the kindred bond flares back to life, he will be in better control. It will probably be a good thing that he is unable to open the portal to this realm for another few days. It will only be hours there, but it should give him time to cool down. Might I suggest that we check on Ashlinn now? There will be time in the coming days to set things right. I'm proud of you Tarron. I know that it took a lot for you to reach out to me this evening. It meant swallowing your pride, and that is not easily done. In the end, you made the right decision." Dagda claps me on the back. I toss back my second drink in an effort to take the edge off of my turbulent thoughts before we make our way up to Ashlinn's quarters.
Chapter 13
(Ashlinn)
Day 11
My sleep has been plagued with images of me throwing myself into Tarron’s arms. Betraying Alaric and my guilt over what has transpired over the last few days is overwhelming. I wake to find Tarron, Dagda, Danu, and Jasmine all watching me closely. I shake my head as the cobwebs clear, and then I feel it. My kindred bond is open and silent tears fall as I reach out to him flooding the bond with all my love, my guilt, and my sorrow for what I have done. What I get in return is pure unadulterated love, affection, and concern. My Elf-Man. I feel a sense of urgency, and then realize that unless we open the portal on our end, he is still waiting for sunrise on his end and I breathe a sigh of relief. I need time to assimilate what has transpired here. I have three days to get my shit together before he can open the portal to this realm and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m going to need all the time I can get.
Addressing everyone in the room, "So, I trust you have been entertained while I slept? Did I drool, or maybe I snore? What?!! Why is everyone watching me sleep? That is just creepy. Even my Fab Five don't do that. Do you guys?" I call out.
Camoryn sticks his head in the door and says, "Told you so. She thinks you guys are creepy." He chuckles as he clomps away.
“Ashlinn? Why didn’t you let anyone know that you were carrying Alaric’s child? Things could have been different. You wouldn’t have had to endure what you did.” Danu questions me.
"Really? Because I don’t think that there was any other course, my path was clear, I needed to be here. I needed to be with Tarron to deter
mine what his place is going to be for all The Realms." I say.
“What do you mean his place for all The Realms?” Danu asks.
I sit up in bed, raising my chin, I say, “Tarron is meant to become The Horde King. He will become king to all dark fae and the Fomorians once the accords are in place after we take down The Morrígan. I just need to find the Stone of Fál. Then no one will question his appointment to this station. It will be. I have seen it. I need to get up and get dressed for the day and eat. I’m famished. What time is it?” I ask.
"It's close to three in the afternoon, mo solas," Tarron says.
“What? Why did you all just sit here staring at me while I slept? Why didn’t anyone wake me?” I ask in alarm. I hear my guys in the other room chuckling as I direct my question to my mother, Dagda, and Tarron.
"Because, Ash, you were exhausted. You and the child you carry needed the rest. There was not one of us here that was going to wake you. Not after what you went through last night. You scared me Ashlinn. I thought we were going to lose you." Jasmine says, fluttering about in agitation, tears hanging heavily in her eyes.
As her words sink in, I deliberately deflect from last night’s events even though they are foremost on my mind. I’m not ready yet to embrace the events of last night as I say defiantly, “I’m pregnant. Not incapacitated. Besides this pregnancy was not my intent, the Tree, she somehow overrode every precaution that we took. It was, for all intents and purposes, meant to be.” I say as I smile placing my hands on my still flat belly. Just thinking about this child makes me feel closer to Alaric. Just thinking about my kindred has me questioning how he can ever forgive me for my transgressions and my smile slips from my face replaced with despair.
I know that everyone is concerned about me, but I can’t deal with any of that as I ignore them and their good intentions. I crawl out of bed and go to get dressed. I choose some skinny jeans and a cowl neck hooded sweater that I pull up over my head, the sleeves are long with thumb holes, and I pull on some knee high boots. My appetite has waned, and I bypass the meal that has been sat for me and make my way to the door of my chambers.
No one blocks my path as I make my way outside to the cliffs. Here I feel vulnerable, exposed, and stripped down. I sit on the cold ground, laid bare as I stare out to the seas beyond as I allow the events of the last several days to wash over me. How will I face Alaric? My panther and I are distraught in my feelings of guilt. I can’t help but wonder what Mom would tell me in this situation and I imagine that it would go something like this, "Ashlinn, what the hell are you doing? None of this was your fault. You fought the darkness now get over it. You’re sulking. And sulking does not become you. I never for one moment would allow you to sulk so why do you think you can do so now?” I smile as silent tears fall from my eyes, dripping from my chin to splash on my cold hands. She should be here. I need her guidance. I miss her so much. No doubt she and Danu would have butted heads, but in the end, I think they would have become great friends.
The day grows cold and dark, and still, I sit on the cliffs looking out to the abyss that is the North Atlantic Ocean. My heart is heavy, and I'm not sure how to get beyond this dark, empty, feeling that has taken up residency there. I'm not sure that Alaric could even change the emptiness that I feel. I know that they are all watching me from a distance. Not sure how to handle me in my despair. As day transitions to dusk, I stand and feel the cold settle in around me like a cloak clinging to me and I make my way back toward the enormous manor house. Danu is waiting for me, and she meets me halfway and wraps my cloak around me.
“Do you mind if I walk with you?” She asks quietly.
“Of course not, Mother.”
"Why do you blame yourself for what took place here? You know that Alaric will not hold anything that happened here against you, right? Blood majic is not something that is to be taken lightly. You resisted for ten days, which from my understanding is a feat in and of itself according to the witch Morgwais." My mother says concern etched on her face as we continue to make our way back.
"I know that what you are saying is true. I just need to find a way to forgive myself. I kissed another, and although that is the worse of the physical transgressions, the longing that I felt to be near to Tarron and the way that I reacted to his just being close to me is what I'm having the most trouble coming to terms with. It was like the blood majic took my feelings for Alaric and transposed them onto Tarron. My soul knew it to be a fake, but after days of exposure I was worn down." I pause collecting my thoughts before I continue, "I knew in my heart and soul that the attraction was not real but in the end, I succumbed and for that, I cannot forgive myself." I say as tears cling to my eyelashes and I squeeze my mother's hand in mine.
"Baby girl, you are trying to absorb all the blame for what happened over the course of the last ten days. You cannot do that to yourself. There were multiple things in play here, and you and even Tarron were subjected to the curse of the blood majic of the contract. Tarron was only able to resist because his nature is first and foremost dark fae. You, my dear daughter, are pure light. You are beautiful and radiant even after your walk on the dark side. Please don't be so hard on yourself." She pauses before continuing, then pulls me into a hug before saying, "On another note, Tarron is a good choice to rule the dark fae. His actions last night prove that he will own up to his mistakes. That takes humility. Come, daughter, we must get you back to your rooms and change for the festivities this evening. Tarron has declared that tonight, we celebrate. You are the guest of honor, baby girl."
I mumble to myself as I say, “I guess that means he wants me to dress up. Damn, but he has an ancient sense of female fashion.”
Mother laughs as we make our way up the stairs quickly to my rooms. As I enter, my Fab Five, all stand. I decide to make light of their homage as I say, "What's the occasion, guys?" I spy the table that has some been laid with some meats, cheeses, bread and crackers to snack on and my stomach growls. I have not had the first thing to eat today, and I make my way to the table.
Nym comes up behind me and says, “Cousin. You neglect yourself; you need to eat.”
I turn to Nym, shock clearly evident on my face and ask, “We’re cousins?”
"Yes, Rhespen is my uncle. I wasn’t sure when I should tell you but now seems like as good a time as any. I defected from the pack about a year ago. Your father was very upset with my decision, but I was inclined that there needs to be a change in Faerie. My views were not entirely shared with the clowder or pride as most call us. You see, Ashlinn, shifters are categorized as dark fae, and although we have a little more respect from the people of Faerie, we do not have a voice. So when I met Tarron, I decided to join him and his growing following. When you arrived, I knew immediately, that you were my cousin simply from your scent, but I also knew that you were carrying young. So please cousin, you need to eat. You have not eaten at all today. Both of you will suffer setbacks if you neglect yourself."
I take Nym’s hand in mine as I say with a smile, “Now I understand why I feel so connected to you. Thank you for being here for me Nym. I know that the circumstances were purely coincidental but thank you none the same.” I pull him into a hug and can’t help but wonder how this coincidence is possible.
Thinking to get a bite to eat before this evening's celebration, I make my way over to the table, and suddenly my stomach is revolting. Before I can say anything, I’m racing to the bathroom as I try to empty my stomach. Except there's nothing on my stomach, I end up dry heaving over the toilet. I hope that this is not what I have in store for me over the next six months. If that's the case, this pregnancy is going to suck. My dry heaving continues before I'm able to sit back and regain my equilibrium. The only thing that sounds remotely tasty is a chocolate milkshake and a slice of Maith's chocolate cake, what I won't give for some of that? Taking several deep calming breaths, I feel my hair being lifted off my neck and a cold, damp cloth is laid gently across the back of my neck as my mother strokes my hai
r back away from my face. Closing my eyes, I allow her touch to calm me as I begin to breathe easier.
"My Mom used to do the same thing when I was little. Whenever I was sick to my stomach, which was not very often, she would lay a cold, damp cloth over the nape of my neck. It always helped. Thank you for being here for me, Mother. Is this what I have to look forward to?" I ask.
She just chuckles and tucks my hair behind my ears as I stand, and she says, "No, you've just neglected yourself and the little one today. You really should have eaten earlier today when you woke. I know you needed some time to yourself but from here on out you need to take better care of yourself. So now we start with what sounds good, and we go from there."
I blurt out, “A chocolate milkshake."
My mother laughs, “Of course, it would be chocolate. I should have known.”
I take the cloth off the back of my neck and wash my face and brush my teeth. We make our way back out to everyone else, and my mother asks no one in particular, "Ashlinn really wants a chocolate milkshake. Do you think that would be possible?"
While everyone else is talking amongst themselves I feel Alaric through our bond; his concern is evident, and I send him reassuring thoughts and love. I can feel his anger and frustration at not being able to get to me. I wish that we could converse with one another, but the distance is too great. With the wards up I can’t even dream walk. So for now, it is enough that I can sense him and his emotions. I'm so caught up in my thoughts and my kindred bond that I'm surprised when Khatar presents me with a large chocolate milkshake. I smile up at the serious dark elf before throwing myself into his arms to give him a huge hug. "Thank you Khatar." I'm practically beaming as I take a swig of the shake and breathe a sigh of relief when it hits my stomach with no ill effect. Note to self, listen to cravings. The milkshake was exactly what I needed. I look at all the food that has been assembled before asking, "What time is the gathering this evening?"
