“I don’t even understand why I did what I did,” I tell him, feeling ashamed. “My parents were overbearing and they got into my head more than I should have allowed them to.”
“You were a pretty smart eighteen-year-old. You wanted AJ to go his own way, and you wanted to go your way, preventing any risk of either one of you giving up a future you deserved. You weren’t both going to go in the direction you wanted, only one direction would have been chosen, and that wouldn’t have been fair to one of you.”
What he’s saying makes sense but I’m not sure my train of thought was so in-depth when I was a freshman in college. It was along those lines, but he makes it sound far more thought out than I made it seem at the time. “I don’t know if I was thinking that clearly,” I tell him.
“You know what you proved, though? You did something Ellie and I were too scared to do. I won’t ever say we made a mistake by following each other into circles that kept us in a bubble until she died, but that’s essentially what we did.”
“It didn’t diminish your relationship,” I tell him. “You two could never be separated.”
“Maybe, but you and AJ, though, you went to the schools you wanted to go to, then life brought you back together. Something bigger than yourselves brought you here.”
Here. To a moment in my life where we’re all wondering if AJ is coming out of this surgery. And if he does, will he come out of it without lasting damage?
I shrug. “I can see it your way, but I regret wasting so much time in between. That’s all.”
“Look, I love my brother more than anything, but he would have screwed things up with you if you had gotten together at a younger age. AJ had a rough transition into adulthood. I mean, the guy has been through two failed marriages.” I know Tori wasn’t his fault, but I don’t know much about Alexa—his first wife. I’m guessing there’s a good reason for that too. “He had to learn the hard way. A lot of us have to learn the hard way. But when you learn things through error, you figure out what is important and what you absolutely need in your life, and that has always been you. He won’t screw things up with you, I can promise you that.”
“You don’t have to promise me,” I tell him. He may not have the chance to screw things up with me. “Hunter, I’m scared I won’t get to tell him all the things I should have told him.”
“I already told you, he has no choice. He’s coming—”
His doctor is walking through a set of metal doors, and my heart falls into the pit of my stomach. Hunter and I stand up first, walking toward him, feeling AJ’s parents on our heels. “Is he okay?” I ask, my words hardly understandable.
“He did great,” the doctor said. “I gotta say. That’s one tough guy you got there. To stay awake during that kind of procedure is not an easy thing to do.”
“Is he out of danger now?” Hunter asks.
“We did a thorough check for any further trouble areas, and it looks like we have everything cauterized. Thankfully, there appears to be no permanent damage, so once we get him back on his feet, I’m confident he’ll make a full recovery.”
I place my hand over my heart, feeling it pound against the inside of my chest. Hunter puts his arm around me and he squeezes, putting more weight on me than I think he realizes. He has his hand over his eyes and his body is shuddering against my side. I take Gavin from his arms, and AJ’s parents pull Hunter in, both hugging him.
I hold my gaze on the doctor, feeling the heaviness in my chest lighten up. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“He’s lucky,” he tells me. “He’s going to need to take it easy for a while, but other than some light physical therapy, we’re going to be in good shape.”
“Okay,” I tell him.
The doctor places his hand on my shoulder and offers a gentle smile. “Please don’t hesitate to call me with any questions,” he says, handing me his card.
“When can we see him?” I ask.
“A nurse will come out to get you when he’s settled in recovery,” he says.
The doctor retreats back through the metal doors, leaving us all staring at his disappearing shadow. At the same moment, the sun pours into the waiting room, which seems symbolic for the occasion.
I turn to Hunter and AJ’s parents. “I’m not sure how much AJ has told you, but Ever and I are moving back to Connecticut. I think AJ and I are going to move in together and take things slowly from there.”
AJ’s mom reaches out for me, removing one arm from around Hunter. “I can’t tell you how happy this makes me,” she says.
“I think it’s going to be a great thing,” I reply.
“You know,” AJ’s dad says. “I’ve got this buddy in real estate and he was just telling me about this house that went up for sale last week. It needs a little work, but that obviously won’t be an issue with the three of us carpenters.” AJ’s dad is beaming with the thought. “Oddly enough, AJ and Hunter were supposed to start work on it this week for the realtor.”
“Are there lots of trees in the back yard?” I ask, appeasing the little dream we’ve had, the one I soothed AJ with before his surgery—one we used to talk about all of the time when we were young.
“Uh, I’m not too sure about that but I know there are at least a few large oaks back there. Did you want a clear yard?”
“No,” I tell him. “Not at all.”
“I think you’ll really like it. You know, AJ sold his house in less than a week last month, so I think you should act quickly on this. You two can discuss it when he’s up for it, and I can help you with what needs to happen.”
I had no idea AJ sold his house. He didn’t mention it. “Where has he been living?”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you two hadn’t talked about it,” AJ’s dad says.
“He and Gavin were staying with me. We’ve been giving him a hand with Gavin,” Hunter says. “He didn’t want to tell you until he figured out his next move. He was waiting on the hearing; I know that much.”
“Wow,” I say through a heavy breath. “We talked almost every day.”
“He didn’t want to add stress to your plate,” Hunter says. “Don’t blame him for that. I can tell you it was all out of love, Cameron.”
“I would never question that,” I tell him, feeling more relief set in.
“Looks like all of your pieces are falling into place,” his Mom says.
It takes a little over an hour before a nurse comes back to get us. Gavin is wound up and going through his hyper hour of the day so we’re taking turns visiting with AJ. I insist that Hunter and his parents go in first this time. “Mom, are we really moving back to Connecticut?” Ever asks.
“Yes, is that okay with you?” I ask her.
“Yeah,” she smiles. “What about school?”
I look down at my watch for the date, noting that school must be starting in less than three weeks now, being that it’s the beginning of August. “We’ll enroll you in the high school—my old high school. There will be lots of new kids there for freshman year, and it will be the perfect transition for you.”
She looks a bit nervous, as I would be, but I know this is what’s best for her. “We'll go back-to-school shopping, and you can pick out whatever you would like. How does that sound?”
“You would have always been a really great mom, you know,” she tells me, instead of answering my question.
“Maybe, maybe not, but I’ve learned that this was always meant to be my life.” I sit down next to Ever and kiss her cheek. “And this little guy. After spending so much time with him this week, I don’t know if I could imagine not having him in my life too.” I kiss Gavin’s head and squeeze him as he wriggles out of my arms.
“It is kind of cool that I have a brother,” Ever says.
Hunter and his parents come back out, all three with large smiles on their face. “Looks like the surgery added an extra hop to his humor. Good luck with him,” Hunter says.
I laugh a bit, wonderi
ng what they mean, but AJ has always been a clown. The clown in him has just been buried under a lot of darkness from this past year. It’s time for happiness and a new start now.
I take Gavin by the hand and swing my arm around Ever as we make our way down the hall and into AJ’s room. His head is bandaged up but he’s awake and pretty alert considering what he’s been through. His face lights up instantly when I smile at him. “You’re going to be okay, I hear.”
“I heard I’m perfect,” AJ says. “I also heard I’m a little hard-headed.”
“I think I can attest to that,” I say through laughter.
“AJ, I’m so sorry for all of this,” I tell him.
He looks a bit confused at my apology. “What are you talking about?”
“I was driving the car,” I say with a shrug.
“Yeah, and I didn’t have my seatbelt on. Plus, that truck swerved and hit us, remember?”
I nod a bit. “I know. I feel like I should be apologizing for a lot more than just the accident, though.”
“Stop, Cam,” he says. “Don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that everything happens for a reason—to teach us a lesson or make us appreciate something we didn’t appreciate before.”
I place Gavin down on the bed. “You have to be gentle with Daddy, little buddy, okay?”
Gavin, with his dark head of hair and AJ’s matching vibrant blue eyes, nestles under AJ’s arm and immediately closes his eyes. His feet curl up and he tries to pull the sheet over himself too. Gavin hasn’t slept much in the past week. I know he’s had a hard time being away from AJ, which has made me love AJ just a little more. He’s had such an impact on this little boy, and for someone who refused to ever have another child after what we went through with Ever, he’s turned into a father any kid would want to have.
“Can we go home now?” AJ asks through a grin. “You brought my clothes right? No one will see us leave. But, um, I’m going to drive, if you don’t mind?”
“You’re out of your mind,” I tell him through laughter.
“I was. I think they took my brain out for a few minutes. That was funky.”
“When you get out of here, in a few days hopefully, we’re going back to Connecticut, and we’re buying a house, just like we talked about.”
“Only if there’s a tree and a swing,” he tells me.
“I know,” I say, smiling. “I’ll take care of it, and you, and these two kiddos.”
“If I didn’t have a bandaged head with a hole going into my brain right now, I’d say I’m the luckiest man in the world. But even with the bandage and hole, I have to be at least the second luckiest man in the world.”
“Only you would be smiling and laughing just hours after brain surgery.” I lean over and kiss him gently on his lips.
His arm lifts with a slight struggle and he places it heavily on my back, pulling me in a little more. “Keep kissing me.”
“I won’t ever stop doing that,” I tell him.
“Ever?” he asks.
“I think that may be how we ended up with Ever,” I whisper into his mouth.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“I DON’T REMEMBER signing any papers,” I tell Cammy. “What are you talking about? You got us a house?”
“You did sign the papers!” she laughs. “You may have been in a drug-induced state, but you signed the papers. Your dad took care of the rest. And as far as I’m aware, Hunter and your dad have been working day and night in the house to get as much of the renovation done as possible, so we could at least move right into it.”
“Where is this place? I can’t believe you did this without even showing me,” I tell her.
“Do you trust me?” she asks me.
“That’s a really hard question,” I reply with a sarcastic groan.
“Get in the truck,” she tells me.
I do as the lady says, waving goodbye to Mom as we pull out of her driveway. Their house was our first stop after the long-ass drive home from Philly, but mostly because I didn’t know if we were staying with them for a bit until we found a place to live. I had no idea that Cammy had been secretly handling the living situation for the last two weeks while I was in the hospital.
We drive down some familiar streets and toward the part of town I’ve always loved the most, being more farmland than residential. The houses are spread out and the land lots are much larger, which is something I’ve always dreamt of, yet could never afford. Tori wanted to live as close to the downtown area as possible, and I lost that battle, but when two people can’t agree on what color of sheets to put on the bed, there’s little give going on.
“I think you’re going down the wrong street,” I tell her. “And you’re driving my truck like a chick.”
She looks over me briefly, fixing her eyes on me. “I know where I’m going. I lived in this town half of my life too.”
“But there’s only one house on this street, Cam, and it’s not for sale. Trust me.”
“You’re right,” she tells me with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s not for sale.”
We pull into the driveway of the old farmhouse, the one I’ve been sneaking behind since I was a kid. The one Cammy and I used to visit more often than we should have. “Cam,” I say.
She places the truck in park, and now I’m really wondering what’s going on. “Is this our new house?” Ever asks from the back seat.
Cammy turns around to smile at Ever but doesn’t answer her.
“Cameron,” I say sternly, making sure to emphasize the use of her full name.
She hops out of the truck and dives into the back seat to pull Gavin from his car seat. “Come on, Ever,” she says.
I slowly step out of the truck, keeping my speed down like the doc told me to do, even though I’m on edge trying to figure out what’s going on right now. I open the back door, letting Ever out and she wraps her arm around me. “Well?” Ever asks.
“Welcome home,” Cammy says. A burst of emotions explodes through my chest, as nothing has ever felt so right. I’ve never felt so damn lucky in my entire life. I pick up my pace and step up onto the farmer’s porch, looking back at Cammy once more for approval before I open the front door to what I’m still silently praying isn’t someone else’s house. “Go ahead,” she says.
As the opening door reveals the interior, I find a furnished house, half with my stuff, half with new things. The floors and walls have all been redone, and Hunter and Dad are standing smack in the middle of the living area, off to the right. “You shittin’ me?”
“Welcome home, son,” Dad says.
“Well, now you can take over some of the family dinners and Sunday breakfasts,” Hunter says. “You have no more excuses.”
“Can we afford this place?” I ask Cammy, knowing I make a good salary, but it hasn’t ever seemed like enough to afford a place this big.
“The place was trashed inside,” Dad says. “We got you a deal that’ll make your mortgage cheaper than your last house.”
“This was the big job we had, AJ. The one we were supposed to start last week.”
“Holy—”
Ever runs past me and up the stairs. “Which is my room?”
Gavin follows her, trudging up the stairs on all fours. “I want a room too!”
“There are five bedrooms, so hopefully they can work it out,” Cammy laughs.
“I don’t even know what to say,” I tell everyone.
Cammy takes my hand and leads me through the large, open-concept first floor and out the rear French doors that lead outside into the backyard—my backyard.
We take the few steps down off of the wrap-around farmer’s porch into the overgrown yard, covered in meadow grass and weeds. Cammy continues pulling me forward, leading me up to the one and only large oak tree in the middle of the yard and yanks at the wooden swing dangling from the branch. “You’re unreal,” I tell her.
“It’s wha
t you always wanted,” she tells me, resting her head on my shoulder.
I wrap my arms around her, pull her into me, and kiss her with everything I’m feeling in my heart right now. I don’t care that my whole family might be watching from the window. My arms lock around her, and I wish I could pull her closer, but we’re as close as possible.
“That’s true, this house is a dream come true, but, Cam, you are all I ever wanted,” I say, brushing a loose lock of hair off her face. “You must love me an awful lot, going through the trouble to make my dreams come true—”
“I have always loved you this much,” she says. “I want to be with you in those dreams of yours. That’s been my only dream.”
A warm breeze blows Cammy’s hair into my face, bringing in the scent of lavender—definitely lavender. I’m sure now. The sensation forces a warmth through every inch of my body, making me see the full picture of the path we have both traveled down. “You know,” I sigh. “There was always something missing, from the moment you left me.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“You took half of my heart with you, and Ever took the other half. I was left for thirteen years with nothing but a missing heart.”
“And now?” She asks.
“You’re both back, and so is my heart.”
EPILOGUE
THREE YEARS LATER
"WE'RE GOING OUT for dinner tonight,” I tell Cammy. “Your parents are watching the kids.” Cammy walks into the kitchen where I’m concocting some breakfast she’ll surely pretend to love before adding a handful of salt.
“My parents offered to watch the kids tonight?” she questions. “Really?”
“Yeah, I asked, and they love me, what else would you expect?” Not sure that would have been the case when we were seventeen, but they were pretty happy when Ever came back into our lives. I’m almost positive they were relieved to find out I had been the father all along. Kissing ass has its benefits at age seventeen and thirty. In any case, Cammy noticed a change in her parents almost immediately when she told them Ever came to find us. They must have had a lot of guilt, and I’m guessing some of that will never go away, but in any case, everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I’m sure of that now.
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