Panic rampaged through her veins. How could she give him up?
How could she not?
They spent the next two hours avoiding topics of any gravity, eating lunch, and playing with Rockley before Caitlyn drove Kurt to the airport.
Their parting was far less enthusiastic or demonstrative than his arrival. Ironic given that they were supposedly faking their attraction back then, and now he was half of her soul.
He gave her a far-too-quick kiss on the lips and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone. “Take care of yourself, Braveheart.”
Then he was gone, lost in the crowd of tourists before she could formulate a response.
CHAPTER 17
AT FIVE O’CLOCK on a Friday in early December, Kurt ended a conference call with a new client’s COO and sat back in his squeaky chair. Outside his office window, the lights of the monuments came alive as the sky turned dark.
Six weeks ago, he’d walked away from the never-ending summer of Barbados and the woman he loved. It already felt like an eternity. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remove the part of his heart that ached for her.
Work mostly kept his mind busy during the day, but at night… He worked himself half to death in the pool and the weight room just so he could sleep.
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. Like with any healing, this would take time. At least that’s what his sister kept telling him. He should know better than anyone.
On the plus side, he was no longer afraid of flying. Small comfort.
Tara tapped lightly on his door, interrupting his maudlin musings. “Hey,” she said, leaning in from the hall.
“You taking off?”
“Yeah, but there’s a woman here who wants to talk to you about a bodyguard. Do you have a few minutes before you leave?”
“Sure.” They didn’t get many walk-in clients, but it happened on occasion. “I’ll close up.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Have a good weekend,” he said, rising from his chair to follow her to the lobby.
“You too.” She flashed him a huge smile and rushed down the hallway with her overstuffed blue purse on her arm. Maybe she had big plans for once.
By the time he reached the reception area, the heavy front door was already hissing closed behind her, the automatic, after-hours lock clicking into place. Plastering a benign smile on his face, he rounded the Christmas tree Tara had placed next to the couch for the upcoming holiday.
And stopped breathing.
Caitlyn sat in the center of the long sofa, knees together, hands clasped in her lap. She wore a puffy blue parka and a green scarf that matched her eyes, her silky hair tucked under a knit hat.
He almost laughed. It wasn’t that cold yet.
“Hi,” she said, wiping her palms on her jeans as she stood.
His heart lodged in his throat. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his words harsher than intended.
She bit her lip and nodded to herself, as if she’d expected an angry reception. “Rose and Shaylee decided to move to the States—to Boston—so they could get married before the baby comes. Barbados doesn’t allow same-sex marriage, and Shaylee found a job with a human trafficking prevention organization in Somerville. It’s fucking cold, but they seem happy.”
He stared, drinking her in, still not entirely sure if she was really here talking a mile a minute, or he was hallucinating. But Tara had seen her, right?
“Anyway, I decided to follow them,” she said.
He couldn’t stop watching her mouth, tracking that little freckle as her lips moved. “To Boston?”
“Oh, um, no. To the States.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “To here, actually. Northern Virginia.”
“Why?” Was he thick in the head? Because she couldn’t possibly be hinting at what he hoped. “What about Barbados and its perfect weather, and your little house, and your charter business?” Her sunshine scent curled through him, warming his blood like a fine whisky. Holy shit, she was really here. “And your dog?”
She laughed. “It was time for a change. I left the beautiful weather—which I may already be regretting—” she rubbed her arms and gave an exaggerated shiver “—and the house and the tourists behind, but I brought Rockley and my plane with me. I can run short-haul flights anywhere.”
He could only stare.
“God, I suck at this,” she said on a sigh. She shook her head and inched around the coffee table until she was only an arm’s length away, close enough for him to see the streaks of gold in her eyes. “Because I missed you. Because even though I’m terrified I won’t be enough for you, or that you’ll realize I’m not worth the trouble and walk out on me, even though you could hurt me like no one else, I desperately want to be with you.”
That made two of them, but he didn’t move. None of those were the words he needed. “You didn’t want to call first? Maybe let me in on your plans?” Really, her expectation that he was just moping around waiting for her like some lovesick loser irked him. No matter that it was true. “Not a word from you for six weeks, and now you show up out of the blue and I’m supposed to…what? Let you walk back into my life and trample all over my heart again? I thought we were done, Caitlyn. What if I’ve moved on?”
Pink splotches appeared on her cheeks and she chewed on her lower lip. “Have you?” she asked in a hoarse, quiet voice.
Damn her. He crossed his arms and broke eye contact. “No.”
“Kurt,” she said, regaining his attention. She licked her lips and looked up at him through her lashes. “I’m sorry. I wanted this to be a grand gesture. To show you how serious I am.” She dropped her arms to her sides, elbows locked straight with her hands balled into fists. Her chin lifted and she looked him dead on, emerald eyes shining. “Goddammit, I love you.”
A low buzzing filled his ears and his chest floated, but… Caution. “How do you know? What’s changed?”
“Nothing. And everything.” She lifted her hands and dropped them, huffing out a breath. “I think maybe I’ve always loved you, but I needed time to make sure it was real. To know that I could trust my feelings and fully commit. I was goddamned miserable after you left, but even after I realized what a fool I’d been to let you go, it took me a few more weeks to stop being a coward about it.”
“You’ve never been a coward.”
She scoffed. “I’m scared out of my freaking mind. Maybe I always will be. My dad left me. My stepdad left me. Aaron…” Her hand waved away the man’s name as if she couldn’t bear to have the word in the air around her.
Kurt couldn’t blame her.
“I’m afraid you’ll leave me too,” she said, wounding him. “Not because I don’t trust you—you’re the most honorable man I’ve ever met—but because there’s a part of me that will probably always believe that no relationship with a man can be trusted. That men don’t stick around. Not with me, anyway.”
His stomach knotted.
“I’ve finally found the courage to put myself in your hands, to take a chance that you won’t ‘trample all over my heart’ either. I know you deserve better than an emotionally damaged woman who can’t give you a family, who is skeptical of marriage and happily ever after. But I’m hoping, maybe, you love me enough to overlook all that.”
She had given up everything to come here and lay herself bare to him. He understood how big a deal that was.
“Can we…” She swallowed hard and took a step closer, holding her arms across her ribs. “Can we try again?”
“Because you love me?” he asked, his voice gravelly, his stomach fluttering.
“Yes.” Her eyebrows lifted and her lips curled into the barest hint of a smile. “I love you.”
He could hardly breathe. “You might have to tell me a few more times before it sinks in.”
Her smile grew. “I will tell you every day for the rest of my life. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
He’d never be able to hear it enough, but that would do for now. Unable to su
ppress a grin, he closed the gap between them, hauling her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, almost knocking him off balance, and he kissed her, his whole body sighing as he sank into her lush mouth, drunk on her fresh-air scent and cinnamon taste.
In seconds, he had her pinned to the wall, holding her up with one arm as his other hand roamed. First order of business: jettison the damned parka. He unzipped the monstrosity, pulled it off her arms, and then slid his hand under her fuzzy sweater, seeking the softness of her breast.
She moaned and attacked his mouth with her own, rolling her pelvis against him. With a little push, she freed her legs and stood, tugging off her scarf and cap with a crackle of static. Strands of her hair stood up straight, floating around her head in a halo. “I should have worn a dress.”
“God, yes.” He kissed his way down her neck. “Always wear dresses.” She was beautiful in anything—and he knew for a fact she wasn’t a dress fan—but he was fully on board for easy access.
Unwilling to take his hands and mouth off her, Kurt didn’t make it easy, but with a minute of fumbling, she managed to free one of her legs from her jeans and push his khakis and boxers down to his hips. Far enough.
Impatient, he lifted her again, shoving aside her panties, and then he was inside of her and it was…everything. She was everything.
Trapped against the wall, Caitlyn clung to him, offering little breathy moans as she kissed his neck and dug her fingers into his shoulders. Her body grasped him tightly, creating an electrifying friction as he thrust and withdrew, drawing out the pleasure until he couldn’t bear it. He pistoned his hips, giving all of himself and his love to Caitlyn, every part of him pulling up tight, balancing on the edge of a precipice.
“I love you, Kurt.” Her breath brushed his ear.
His orgasm rocketed through him. He had just enough awareness to reach between them and bring her along for the ride.
Stars fell around them as he kissed her eyes and cheeks and mouth over and over. Never enough.
Caitlyn laughed and leaned her head against the wall. “Hang on, Superstud. I need to catch my breath.”
His legs were locked, but his limbs trembled as his body cooled. Pushing off the wall, he gripped his pants as he stumbled to the couch and sat, her heat still surrounding him in the most delicious way.
“One of these days we’ll go slowly enough for me to kiss you everywhere,” he said, letting his head drop against the couch cushions, even as he kept a tight grip on her hips.
Her sexy smile made his dick jump with renewed interest. “Ditto.”
Actually, everything about her made him want to spend the next week in bed, exploring her from head to toe, cataloguing every curve, every scar, every freckle. Thoroughly.
She ran her fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. So good.
“While I have your attention,” she said, “I have a favor to ask.”
“Anything.” He opened his eyes and got lost in her emerald gaze. He could never refuse her.
“Rockley and I need a place to stay. Do you know anyone with a room for rent who doesn’t mind dogs?”
Was she serious? “I have a spare half a bed. Or is that too much too soon?”
She smiled. “No. I just didn’t want to pressure you…or assume anything.”
“I’d rather not waste another day. Fourteen years is long enough to wait before moving in together, don’t you think?”
“Definitely.” She toyed with his shirt collar, her face turning sober. “As long as it won’t bother you that I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top.”
“Trying to warn me off already?” If she was this scared, maybe she really did love him.
Her mouth twisted and she shrugged.
“I’m not that petty, but if it worries you, buy your own damn toothpaste. We don’t have to share everything.” He nipped at her sweet mouth. “Winters are cold here, you know.”
“I noticed.”
He chuckled. “This is nothing. Wait until February.”
She gave a resigned sigh. “Well, you said you run hot. I’m sure you can figure out a way to keep me warm.”
He sucked on her soft, warm bottom lip. “I already have a hundred ideas.”
She caressed his cheeks and frowned.
“What?” he asked, gently tugging on a strand of auburn silk that fell across her face.
“You know I can’t have kids. And I’m not sure I’ll ever want them, adopted or otherwise.” A little crease formed between her brows. “Someday you might resent me for that.”
Finally, her real concern. He grasped her hands and kissed her fingers. “I’d love to raise children with you, and even get married if I can ever convince you to take that leap of faith. But I wasn’t lying, Cait. None of that matters without you. At the very least, we’ll have Rose and Shaylee’s baby and Luke to spoil rotten. I’m content to be an uncle.”
A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped it away. “Truly?”
His heart swelled, too big for his chest. “Truly.” He meant it, but he’d probably have to convince her daily. Lots of fun ways to accomplish the task came to mind. “Besides, we have fur kids.”
She bit her lip and nodded. “I hope they get along.”
“They’ll learn.” He smoothed his hands over her staticky hair. “What do you say?” He dug his keys out of his pocket. “With this house key, I thee cohabit?”
She laughed and then studied him for a long moment, as if measuring the truth in his eyes. “Yes.” A thousand-watt smile lit her face and she kissed him hard. “Yes, and I love you.”
He couldn’t hold back a satisfied grin. Or stop touching her. “That’s all I need to know.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE
The waterproof, microprocessor knee that Kurt uses is real. If you’d like to see it in action, check out https://www.ottobockus.com/prosthetics/lower-limb-prosthetics/solution-overview/x3-prosthetic-leg/.
With advances in materials technology, today’s amputees also have new options for sockets. The prosthetist I met with is a fan of using a soft socket that’s supported by a rigid carbon-fiber frame, rather than the completely rigid socket that most people are familiar with (check out this page for photos: https://www.amputee-coalition.org/resources/options-in-sockets-and-liners/). The flexible socket allows some amputees—like Kurt—to wear their prosthetic limb without any kind of liner or sock, and can be more comfortable, especially when sitting. Or when being sat upon. ;-)
Unfortunately, as Kurt told Caitlyn, not everyone has access to the latest in prosthetic technology. While amputee service members and veterans from post-9/11 armed conflicts are offered multiple prosthetics for various activities, state-of-the-art microprocessor joints, and frequent replacements, this is not the experience for some older veterans and most civilians.
For more behind-the-scenes info and fun facts about this book, check out the Running Blind page on my website.
THANK YOU!
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If you missed Dan and Alyssa’s adventure on St. Isidore, keep reading for a sneak peek from Blind Ambition. Thanks!
MEN OF STEELE
Blind Fury
Blind Ambition
Blindsided
Running Blind
BLIND AMBITION EXCERPT
"Packed with action and emotion. BLIND AMBITION is a page-turner!" --New York Times bestselling author Laura Griffin
IT’S ABOUT TO GET HOT IN THE JUNGLE
Rescuing a kidnapped aid worker from St. Isidore’s danger
ous rebels is just another day at work for former pararescueman Dan Molina. But his mission falls apart when the woman—who once shattered his heart—refuses to leave the island.
Alexa Alyssandratos can’t return to her life as a nurse on the hurricane-ravaged Caribbean island, but she won't leave until she’s certain the orphans she cared for—especially one sick little girl—are safe from the rebels. Denied their ransom, a would-be dictator and his soldiers are hunting Alexa, and Dan is the only person who can protect her. Old passions reignite as she and Dan race to save the children before they disappear forever.
CHAPTER ONE
Alexa lowered the trembling girl into the crawl space beneath the clinic and shut the trap door. She yanked the braided rag rug to cover it and stood. Soldiers would be here any—
The exam room door smashed open and a rangy man in a striped rugby shirt aimed a rifle at her chest. “Hands up!”
Heart hammering, she stepped onto the rug and raised her arms.
The last time the island’s rebel fighters had raided the Hygiea clinic in Terre Verte, they’d stolen everything—right down to the mattresses on the beds—and left one of the nurses dead. The mother of nine-year-old Flore. Flore, who should be safe at the orphanage next door by now.
As long as the stress—and the dust under the building—didn’t bring on another asthma attack.
“Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you,” Alexa said, her voice shaky.
Rugby kept his weapon trained on her. “Come with me.”
Her stomach jackknifed, but she followed him into the tiny waiting area where two other men stood guard.
He snagged her wrist and spun her into the front wall. “Do not fight me and you will live.” His lilting island tones didn’t match the menace in his voice.
A tremor ran through her body as he trapped her against the wall. Just last month a French aid worker in another village had been kidnapped and repeatedly raped until her family produced a ransom. Would they take Alexa because she was American?
Running Blind Page 18
