I don’t squeeze it back though. I can’t. I’m lost looking at the hurt and confusion on my parents’ faces.
“What’s going on here?” my mom asks.
My dad is still frozen with a dead glare, shooting daggers at Holden.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on. My husband has been cheating on me with your daughter who’s half his age.”
My breathing stops as my mother takes a loud breath and clutches her chest, turning toward my dad. My dad is no longer frozen though. He’s rushing toward Holden.
“You son of a bitch,” he grounds out as he grabs Holden by the front of his shirt, yanking him out of my reach.
I yelp from the sudden jerk as his hand pulls away from mine.
My dad throws Holden up against the front of the garage door, making a loud crashing noise as the door dents with his weight. “You’ve been fucking around with my daughter?” he asks as he pulls back his fist.
Holden’s eyes flash to mine quickly as he raises up his hands. “It’s not like that,” he says, but he’s silenced with a punch to the mouth.
After seeing my dad punch Holden, without him even trying to defend himself, my feet are running in their direction. “Stop!” I yell as I latch onto his arm, trying to stop another blow.
My dad is lost to his rage. He pulls his arm forward, throwing me off him like I’m weightless as he throws another punch at Holden.
I’m thrown off balance from the quick movement, losing my footing on the uneven ground, and I fall forward, landing on my hands and knees on the concrete.
Holden sees the action just before my dad’s fist lands a solid hit to his stomach. He tries to catch me, but he’s held back, unable to reach me and doubling over from the pain.
I let out a painful cry that gets my dad’s attention, causing him to turn to see what happened. Holden pushes past him, rushing to my side.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he pulls me to my feet. The knees of my jeans now have holes in them as blood stains the fabric.
I nod, not concerned with myself but with him.
“Get your hands off her,” my dad warns.
Jane and my mom rush to my father’s side. My mom looks upset, like someone just ran over her puppy. Jane, on the other hand, looks completely satisfied.
She did this on purpose.
Holden ignores my dad and turns to face me. He places his hands on either side of my face and looks me in the eye. “I’m so sorry, Hope.” He plants a kiss to my forehead.
“I’m going to fucking kill you for ever fucking touching her,” my dad says, taking a step toward us.
I pull away from Holden and step between them. “Please, stop this.”
“Get out of the way, pumpkin. This is between me and someone I thought was my friend.” His face is contorted with anger. Deep wrinkles form across his forehead and around his dark eyes. His mouth is drawn into a tight line, and every muscle is flexed.
He pulls me back and positions himself in front of me. “Gary, just give me time to explain,” he says, hanging his head, still not trying to fight my dad.
“Explain what? How you’ve been using my little girl? How you’ve made her your dirty little secret while you cheated on your wife?” He scoffs. “You’re not the man I thought you were.” He waves his hand in front of his face as if he can wipe away the anger he’s feeling. “Let’s go, Hope.” He turns and motions for my mom to follow.
Holden quickly turns to me as I look between the two men in my life. This is the moment I’ve been dreading. Having to choose between them.
But maybe I don’t have to choose. Maybe I can let my parents settle down and talk to them calmly like grown adults.
I hug him. “I’m going to go with them,” I whisper in his ear while I’m against his chest. He pulls back suddenly, questions written across his face.
“Hope, I…”
“I’ll meet you at your place. I’m just going to talk to them, try to help them understand. It doesn’t matter what they say to me. I’m yours and I’ll be back.” My words are so quiet nobody but him can hear them.
He relents even though I can tell he doesn’t want to. He nods his head and releases me so I can follow my parents across the street.
My heart is pounding in my chest the whole way. Will I be able to make them understand? Will I have to choose between them? If I do, who will I choose: my own parents who raised me and gave up everything so I could have a better life, or the man I’m desperately in love with?
Holden’s still watching me as I walk in my parents’ house. Jane is frozen in place, watching Holden. Closing the door breaks our connection. The door clicks shut and I rest my forehead against it.
“What the hell were you thinking?” my dad yells at me.
I take a deep breath and turn to face them. “I came over here so we could have an adult conversation. If you’re going to yell at me like I’m a child, I will walk out of here right now.” Maybe I shouldn’t threaten them, but I feel it’s needed. I never wanted to hurt my parents in this. I just wanted to be happy and loved. What’s so wrong with that?
My mom pushes her dark hair away from her face and rubs my dad’s back, trying to soothe him. “Come on, let’s go into the kitchen and have a seat.” She takes my dad’s hand and tugs until his eyes cut away from me and he follows after her.
My dad sits at the table, but my mom pours herself a glass of wine. I sit across from him, determination rolling off me.
“How in the hell did this start?” he asks, his voice deep, anger drenching his words.
“I ran into him a little over a month ago at a group meeting. I was trying to get over Dean, and he was there because of everything that has been going on between him and Jane since his passing.”
Dad takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “So he took advantage of you in a weak moment?”
“No! If anything I took advantage of him!”
“Oh my goodness,” my mom says, covering her heart as she walks to the table with her glass of wine.
“Look,” I push my hair away from my face, just needing everything out in the open. “It doesn’t matter how this started. What matters is that he loves me and I love him. He’s the one that helped pull me out of my depression. He makes me happy. He makes me feel loved. You two have each other. I had no one. Why is it so wrong for us to be together?”
My mom, who has been looking at her glass of wine in her hands, now looks up at me. “Did anything happen between you two before?”
“Before what?” My brows wrinkle with the question.
“Before…when you were younger. When you were with Dean?”
“What? No!” I take a deep breath and stand. “Holden would never do that. He didn’t even want to see me in the beginning of all this. But we have a connection neither of us can deny. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do expect you to accept this and respect my decision.”
My father stands now, red faced. “I will not accept the fact that my daughter is doing God knows what with a man twice her age. A man that is the father of the boy you were going to marry. And a man that considered himself my friend! I forbid it!” He slams his fist down on the wooden table, causing my mom’s wine to slosh around in the glass.
I nod, no longer interested in trying to make them understand. I straighten my back and hold my head high. “Well that’s too bad. I’m an adult and I get to choose how I live my life, not you. I get to choose who I love. If you can’t accept that, that’s just too damn bad.”
I turn and walk out of their house, hoping what I’ve done can be undone when they have time to process everything. I don’t expect them to understand so soon. It took me weeks to understand.
I notice Holden’s bike is no longer across the street. I didn’t even hear him take off. That means I have to walk to his apartment. I start down the sidewalk just as Jane walks outside.
I know I shouldn’t but why not? She did all of this on purpose.
I march across the street, comi
ng to a stop at her car. “I see you managed to get that box loaded after all.” I motion toward her open trunk full of boxes.
She smiles sweetly at me. “Your father moved it for me, that’s why they were here.” She opens her door and bends down to put her purse inside.
“Yeah, I bet.”
“What was that?” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“You did all of this on purpose, didn’t you?”
“You are seriously mistaken if you think I set this whole thing up. Why would I care if you’re fucking my ex-husband?”
I look her up and down, annoyance and anger filling me. “Because, in your twisted little head, you think we’re betraying Dean. But Dean is gone. He can’t be betrayed.”
Her gasp fills my ears before she reaches out and slaps me across the face. The slap stings, but I’m so angry that I can’t feel the full force of it.
I cover my cheek with my hand. “Are you really mad about me and Holden being together or are you just mad that I’m moving on with my life while you’re still holding on to someone that died five years ago?”
Her eyes begin to tear, and I don’t know why, but I feel bad for her. She’s been through so much. She lost her son, she sank so far into depression that she attempted to take her own life, and as if all that wasn’t enough, she lost her husband who just so happens to be screwing the same woman her son used to.
“I hope you find what you’re seeking in life, Jane.” I turn and walk away from her.
I didn’t want to hurt her any more than I wanted to hurt my parents. But I’ve been sad, depressed, and angry for the past five years. It’s time I get my happy ending with the man I love.
I take a little longer than necessary to walk to Holden’s apartment, but I needed a few minutes to process everything. It kills me that I left my parents like that, but I’m going to fight for the man I love. It may not be right, we may not make sense to the outside world, but only we can feel the love we have for one another.
I can only hope that they come around and realize that I’m happy, that Holden makes me happy. Isn’t that all parents should want for their child?
As I wander through town lost in my thoughts, I can’t help but to think of Holden and Dean. Back then, I thought Dean was it for me. I thought I would be completely happy spending the rest of my life with him. It’s only now that I see what Dean and I had is nothing compared to what I have with Holden.
Dean was a large part of my life. I will always love him in one way or another, but what I felt for him, it was just infatuation, an addiction from him always being around — puppy love, if you must.
Holden, he wasn’t planned. Fate put us together. What I feel for him is something that can’t be explained. Just thoughts of him warm every cold place inside of me. He lights up every dark corner. He causes every hair to stand on end. He makes my head swim. And that’s with only a look. If he touches me, my body feels as though it’s been lit on fire. I can’t stay away from him because I didn’t choose to love him. It’s like my heart is synced to his. I’ll never feel whole without him. What Holden and I have is real. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, deep in my bones.
I walk around town for a good hour before I finally go to Holden. I remember the passcode to get into his building, but stop and knock on his door. Within seconds, the door is swinging open and I’m against his chest with his fingers tangling in my hair and his lips against mine.
He picks me up and walks us inside. He kicks the door shut and places me on my feet before breaking the kiss. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
His lips are on mine as soon as the words leave his mouth, teasing, tasting, and giving. He’s all I can think about as he teases every sense.
Chapter 24
Watching her walk away with her parents feels like the end. I know she says she’ll be back, but I’m sure they will make her see how wrong this all is, the same thing I’ve tried telling her since before everything started between us, the same damn thing I’ve been fighting with myself over.
When she closes the door, I turn my stare to Jane who looks completely happy with taking away the last shred of happiness I have.
“I hope you’re happy,” I say as I turn my back to her to climb on the bike.
“I’m not happy that I had to do that, but you have to know how wrong all of this is. I mean, what were you thinking? You think you can cheat on me with Dean’s girlfriend who’s half your age and everyone would be okay with it? You’re disgusting.” Her lip snarls with repulsion.
I turn and march back up to her. “Cheat on you? Is that what you’re calling it now? Because it wasn’t that long ago that you told me that we haven’t been a married couple for a long time. In fact, you were completely fine knowing that I was seeing someone. It wasn’t until you found out that it was her you suddenly had a problem with it.”
“She’s Dean’s girlfriend!” she yells causing spit to cover my face.
I run my hand over my face to wipe her spit away. The action only pissing me off more. “Dean is dead! He’s gone! Accept it!”
Tears fill her eyes as she looks at me like I’m the monster. “If you loved him, you’d never be able to betray him like this.” Before I know what’s happening, she’s slapping me, beating her fists against my chest, and pushing me backward.
I have no choice but to wrap my arms around her and carry her inside. She’s fucking lucky I don’t hit women. That makes two people I’ve been attacked by today, and more than anything, I’m ready to fucking snap.
I carry her inside and drop her on her bed, pointing my finger at her. “Stay down! You need to calm your shit before you get sent back to that fucking mental hospital you just escaped from. We’re done, Jane. Fucking over, and you don’t get a say about my fucking life anymore. Got it?” I level my eyes on her. “Get your shit, and leave.”
I walk out of the house as fast as I can. I need away from here. I need time to think. I may have just lost the love of my life, and now I’m being attacked by the woman who’s made my life hell for the past five years.
I hop on my bike and take off as fast as it will go. I go straight home, wanting to wait for Hope, to see if she returns to me. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t. Am I strong enough to let her go? I almost didn’t make it the month we were apart. I had to fight myself every minute of every day to stay away from her. But if she asks me to, I know I will find the strength. I will do anything for her, even if it kills me to do so.
A fire starts in my heart and burns its way up my throat. It makes my throat feel like it’s closing up. The first thing I do is the thing I always try to avoid. I reach for the liquor. The burn of the alcohol is nothing compared to the fire raging on in my chest right now. But with every drink, that fear dies little by little.
I have her in my arms again; her body melting to mine. Thinking I’d never get this again makes it all the sweeter. I was only away from her for an hour, and already I was going crazy without her. What if she came here to tell me it’s over?
My heart stops.
She wouldn’t be kissing me like this if it was over for her, would she?
What if this is a goodbye kiss?
I pull away from her and look into her eyes, wanting to keep this look right here with me always, regardless of how this plays out.
“How’d it go?”
I see her shoulders slump as she lets out a breath. “Can’t we just go back to what we were doing?”
I offer a small smile. “That well, huh?”
She laughs. “It couldn’t have been any worse.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and lead her to the kitchen. “I’ll make us a drink and you can tell me all about it.”
I pour us both a strong drink and we sit in front of the fireplace where she tells me everything that happened and what was said. She tells me about running into Jane on her way out. That only pisses me off after the confrontation we had earlier.
A part of me will always
hold Jane close to my heart, but it’s out of habit. I spent the better part of my life with her. Not to mention she is the mother of our adoptive son. I can’t just forget all the memories I share with her, but I can’t put up with her daily battles either. I understand why she doesn’t like me and Hope together, but she lost the right to have any say over my life long ago.
“I’m so sorry, Hope.”
Her eyes flash to me beside her. They are soft and full of love. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything but give me exactly what I need.”
I shake my head. It’s full of confusion and guilt that is just eating at me. “I never should have allowed this to go on. I’m ruining your life.”
She climbs onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. My life has only gotten better because of you. Everything we’ve been through, it was a test. We were always meant to be together. Don’t you see that?”
“I want to,” I say against her lips.
She takes a handful of my hair, yanking my head back to look up at her on my lap. “Fuck me, Holden.”
My eyes flash down to see those dirty words leave her beautiful mouth, and I know I have to give her what she wants.
My mouth consumes hers as she pulls my shirt from my body. Her nails scratch down my back, egging me on. Her touch nearly sears my skin. She’s forbidden, but she’s mine. At least for now.
I roll us over and kiss down her body as I pull her clothes away. She quivers with need as whimpers and pleas leave her lips. I run my tongue between her folds and she calls out while fisting my hair. The fire lights up the room enough that I can see her blushing pussy glistening with her need for me. She’s so goddamn beautiful like this: all insecurities stripped away, completely open for me to take, giving herself to me time and time again.
I’m not ready to stop lapping her juices when she yanks my head away. “I need you now. Please.”
“Please what?” I rasp out.
“Please, fuck me.”
When the last word leaves her lips, I thrust into her tight pussy, going as deep as I can go. I want her sore tomorrow. I want her to feel this for as long as fucking possible, because it’s the last time. I refuse to ruin her life. She needs her family, it’s all she has. They are more important than I ever should be. I’ve done nothing but take from her.
Wrapped in Hope: A Forbidden Romance (The Hope Series Book 1) Page 18
