Tony told her in a fair amount of detail what had transpired with Sheila and Roy’s introduction to the wonders of Leonardo and what Erica had recently done with the demo for the Swiss pharmaceutical firm, Lycee LTD.
Like she always did, Sheila listened intently and said nothing until Tony stopped talking. She took another sip of water and smiled in a rueful manner. “Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘Fake it till you make it’?”
“No, and it doesn’t sound like a good idea.”
Sheila laughed and then said, “It may not be the best idea in most circumstances, but it’s a common MO in the Valley. Sometimes we rely far too much on appearances and perception versus substance and reality.”
“I see what Erica did as dishonest.”
“That it is, in an objective way. She misrepresented her company’s product.”
“She has misled people on at least two occasions. People who she wants to do business with like you and your dad.”
“Yes, she did, and this bears watching, but it’s not going to make us, my dad and me, get cold feet.”
“It won’t? Doesn’t it make you worry that you’re not going to recoup your investment? Or worse, that it’s how Erica operates?”
“Tony, my dear, first of all, do you think we’ve never lost money on a company?”
“I don’t know.”
“We have before, and we will again. Do you believe GHS is going to be successful?”
“I hope so, but we have a way to go. Erica’s idea is really something. Did you know she holds five patents? She thinks we can make it work, and I believe her. But it’s going to take time for us to iron out all the bugs. A lot of time.”
“Yes. I know about the patents. Of course, I don’t know about biotech or medical devices, but some software companies didn’t have all the bugs exterminated from their programs when they released them, and they made millions anyhow.”
“We can’t release something that doesn’t work because lives are at stake. This isn’t some dopey app to get your take-out food delivered faster,” Tony said angrily.
Sheila grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. “No, it’s not, and you are the kind of person who will do whatever it takes to create a perfect product. You are staying at GHS?” Sheila raised her eyebrows.
“So, you’re not upset?” Tony’s brief flash of ire subsided, and she was relieved. And, when she thought about it, not all that surprised. Sheila was not like most people. She responded in due time to whatever was said to her. She didn’t react or, worse, overreact. It must be the Zen Buddhism, Tony reasoned.
“Not at all.”
“You won’t talk to Erica about this?”
“Oh, no. That wouldn’t be wise. Information is always helpful, though it is to be shared judiciously. She would know where the info came from, and I have a feeling that would rebound on you in a bad way. I’m taking it in and keeping it quiet.”
“You still want to see me? And yes, I’m staying at GHS. I still believe, though I wasn’t happy with what I told you.”
“Yes, I want to see you. More than ever. Now finish your quesadilla, my dear. We have places to go and things to do.” Sheila squeezed her hand again, intertwined their fingers, and her eyes sparkled.
The place was, of course, Sheila’s condo, and the “things” were a lot of sex and a lot of hot tub and more sex in the hot tub.
They were lying in bed, resting, and Tony said, “I think I’m pretty naive. I went to work for GHS believing Erica was the most wonderful woman I’d ever met and the most inspiring CEO possible and that she wanted us to do well by doing good. I didn’t reckon on deceit being involved. I’m not used to that.”
She was wrapped up in Sheila’s arms and feeling peaceful and secure as well as sleepy.
Sheila kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tighter. “I love that about you. I knew the first time we talked that you were honest and loyal. Please don’t ever lose that attitude. It’s priceless. As for Erica, I’ve seen her type before. The CEOs I talk to, they’re single-minded to an extreme. They will not let anything stand in the way of their goals. That’s a good thing, because they couldn’t do what they do otherwise. They will always bend rules. The trick is they can’t bend them until they break them. We’ll see what happens with GHS. I hope you’ll continue to give me the lowdown on the happenings in the lab. I promise I will never break your confidence, not even with my dad, and certainly not to Erica.”
Tony took a deep breath. “Oh my God. Thanks. That’s great. I ought not to have told you about the blood-test demos. I would get fired for sure if Erica found out.”
“Since Erica demands NDAs from visitors, I’m certain she wouldn’t be happy with you telling me what you did. But I’m glad you did. It will stay between us.”
They gazed at each other a moment and then shared a deep kiss.
Tony not only had her fears allayed about telling Sheila the truth, but she was going back to work Monday with renewed optimism and determination. If Erica was working on creating a good impression of GHS so that she could attract more investment, it was up to Tony, Gordon, and all the rest of the staff to back up Erica’s efforts with reality.
* * *
On Sunday afternoon, Sheila took an hour off to go to a dharma talk.
“I’m fine here. It’ll be nice to rest for a while. Read or watch TV,” Tony said.
“Thanks. We’ll go out to dinner when I come home, and I’ll take you back to the City.”
“You can take me to the train station. It’s fine. You don’t have to drive all the way to San Francisco and then have to come all the way back. Seriously.”
“We’ll argue about it later, sweetie,” Sheila said, grinning tenderly.
While Sheila was gone, Tony didn’t spend a lot of time on any of the pastimes she had mentioned; she looked around Sheila’s condo.
Sheila had a desk in her bedroom and a bookcase holding, among other things, a fair amount of what Tony figured was Buddhist literature. Over the desk hung two posters. Well, they were fancier than posters, they were more like art works. The words were written in calligraphy, with birds and Chinese characters surrounding the print. One was the Four Noble Truths. The other was the Eightfold Way.
Right understanding (Samma ditthi)
Right thought (Samma sankappa)
Right speech (Samma vaca)
Right action (Samma kammanta)
Right livelihood (Samma ajiva)
Right effort (Samma vayama)
Right mindfulness (Samma sati)
Right concentration (Samma samadh
The Four Noble Truths
The truth of suffering (Dukkha)
The truth of the origin of suffering (Samudāya)
The truth of the cessation of suffering (Nirodha)
The truth of the path to the cessation of suffering (Magga)
Tony stared at the two posters for some minutes. The Eightfold Path made sense. She recalled Sheila using the word mindfulness that first night they were together and Sheila was giving her a massage. So much was going on then, she’d forgotten to ask what Sheila had meant. Tony knew about Buddhism, but she’d never given it much thought. Her parents were Methodists and took her to church every Sunday when she was a kid. Her mother naturally made disparaging comments about Buddhism. “New Age claptrap” was the term her mom had used, though even Tony knew Buddhism was thousands of years old.
Here was Sheila, though, apparently a serious practitioner, if the presence of an altar and all these books meant anything. Tony looked over the altar again as well. She picked up each object as though it contained some sort of secret meaning about Sheila that she could absorb by touch. While they ate dinner later at a vegetarian restaurant, Tony asked, “How long have you been a Buddhist?”
“Since I moved back to the Bay area, about three years.”
“How did you start?”
“One of the CEOs who pitched us talked about Buddhism. I was surprised and asked him a lot of ques
tions about it. I realized as I learned more about it that I was missing spirituality in my life.”
“A venture capitalist as a Buddhist. It doesn’t seem to match.”
Sheila laughed. “I’ve heard that before, but Buddhism is about a way of life and has a special emphasis on ethics that truly helps me make good decisions. It helps me with all areas of my life. With you, for instance.”
“With me? How?” Tony didn’t know if this news was flattering or alarming.
“Buddhism counsels patience and compassion toward everyone. I could tell you weren’t at all sure if I was for real and if you wanted to get involved with me. I liked you so much, my inclination was to race forward at top speed to win you, but that wouldn’t have been a good idea. I had to wait for you make up your own mind. And you did.” Sheila saluted her with her teacup. They were eschewing alcohol for the evening.
Sheila had said, “Buddhism doesn’t explicitly forbid alcohol, but I don’t drink very often. I prefer to not have my consciousness altered in that fashion, but I like to be sociable on occasion.”
Tony said, “I’ve never met anyone as calm and serene as you. Most people are masses of angst and always trying to control everything. You’re different.”
“Yes. Buddhism helps with those tendencies. I still have them, but they’re not as bad as they used to be. I can slow down and let go when I need to. And in the world of Silicon Valley, slowing down and letting go of expectations is a real challenge, but it’s possible.”
“What about the crystals? I don’t picture you as a crystal kind of person.”
“Oh? What kind of person is a crystal kind of person?” Sheila asked, her tone humorous.
Tony was on the spot again. “Um, someone who dresses in tie-dye and has about a thousand pieces of jewelry and talks about ‘aura’ and ‘chakra’ and ‘vibrations.’ Not someone like you.”
“I get it. Well, all I know is the touch and presence of that quartz crystal on my altar alters my consciousness in a subtle way. Like my practice of meditation.”
“Well, here’s to your altered consciousness, whatever that may mean. It certainly seems to work for you,” Tony said, and they clicked teacups again.
Later that evening after Sheila had driven her home despite her protests, Tony thought about what Sheila had told her. It was true that Sheila had won her trust by not pursuing her. She let Tony come to her and, in doing so, gave Tony the emotional space to open up her psyche. And thanks to Sheila’s astute reading of her personality, Tony realized she had jumped off the cliff she was teetering on and was in love with Sheila.
Chapter Nine
Sheila always looked forward to the annual conference for Silicon Valley women. It was a huge networking event that drew all sorts of people, not just women from all corners of the tech industry in the Bay Area. When she opened up the Evite, she wasn’t surprised to see that the keynote speaker was Erica Sanders.
Sheila took her seat amongst the four hundred women and a scattering of men. The pace of change was glacial in Silicon Valley, at least in regard to women and their representation. Erica and GHS certainly represented a leap forward. She and her company’s success could likely accelerate progress farther and faster. That, to Sheila, was at least as important as the vast quantity of money Pacific Partners would accrue if GHS succeeded.
Erica nodded her thanks to the conference chair and stood at the podium. For a long moment she didn’t speak, but stared over the crowd as though trying to make eye contact with each and every person.
“Change is hard. Change is necessary. Change is unstoppable. You all have heard the old saying, ‘Lead, follow, or get out of the way.” Erica listened to the scattered murmurs and laughter without expression.
“I intend to lead.” The room erupted in cheers and yells. Erica’s satisfaction at the response she evoked was clear. She went on to offer a few more generalized statements on women in the workplace, with asides regarding the Valley in particular. All of it was well received. But the gist of her talk was heavily skewed toward GHS and its innovation and its rosy future. It was a sales talk, in other words, and to Sheila, it was no longer inspirational. The crowd appeared to adore it, but Sheila was put off. This wasn’t an occasion to hype a product or one’s own company
Afterward, Erica was mobbed by admirers, and Sheila wasn’t moved to wait in line to offer her personal congratulations. She went to the lobby and out the front door to breathe in some fresh air and absorb some natural light before returning to the convention hall. She had pulled out her phone and looked at her incoming calls. She wanted to call Tony right away but had a number of business calls that were more pressing. But before she could even choose a message to return, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned. It was Erica.
“Oh, hello. How are you? Great speech.”
“Hi, thanks. I saw you sitting in the audience, and I thought I might take a moment to speak with you.”
“Of course.” That was a mighty short acknowledgement of Sheila’s praise. Well, Erica didn’t have to be overly gracious with compliments she received. No one would expect a man to be.
“I’m sure you know how things can look one way and be something else altogether.”
Sheila’s antennae went up. What was Erica referring to? She wasn’t glowing with happiness about her successful speech as she ought to have been. She seemed keyed up.
“I think I might know what you mean, but please be explicit.”
“Good. Because I think you know why I need to get something cleared up with you.” It was her discovering Sheila and Tony having breakfast. That had to be it. She doesn’t like it, but she can’t do anything about it.
“I can’t dictate the personal relationships of my staff.”
Oh, but you’d like to, wouldn’t you, Sheila appended, silently offering Erica a noncommittal smile.
“But I do require they exercise the utmost discretion regarding their work at GHS. If any proprietary information would leak, it could be devastating to our bottom line.”
“Oh, certainly.” To call out Erica or not call her on her agenda, that was the dilemma. Say as little as possible. She can’t afford to offend me. Not in any way.
“I trust your judgment, Sheila. You, after all, showed good judgment in choosing to fund us.” Ah-ha. Trying to leaven things with flattery and a little humor. Good choice.
“I believe that demonstrated our commitment to your future success,” Sheila said in an even tone.
“Yes, it did, and I’m grateful, but I can’t leave anything to chance.” As if Erica was able to bend the entire universe to her will.
“I appreciate that. You can rely on me. Please be assured.”
“Okay. Thanks much. See you soon.” With that Erica walked away and was met by yet another starry-eyed admirer.
Sheila watched her for a moment, then picked up her phone and made her calls.
* * *
“I don’t think she’s about to fire you. But I believe she wouldn’t hesitate to if she even suspected you had leaked something,” Sheila told Tony later that day.
“Oh, I know. There’s a lot of gossip around at work about who she’s fired and why.”
“I recommend you be careful. Very, very careful, especially about who you talk to and what you talk about.”
“I plan on it.”
* * *
About a month after Tony spent her first night with Sheila, an email notice went out to the entire company distribution list, notifying them of an “all-hands” meeting later in the afternoon in the cafeteria.
Tony wasn’t concerned about disruption of her work. It was on hold currently because Gordon was busy trying to modify the spectrophotometer to perform accurately every time. They’d decided that the spec was the source of their inconsistent results. Tony didn’t have much to do but wait until he was ready for another run. She had more time to obsess about Sheila and when and if she should make her big announcement of love. It seemed like she’d fallen in love too
fast, and she was leery of telling Sheila.
She wasn’t optimistic that Gordon could solve the spectrophotometer problem any time soon, if at all. Specs were notoriously sensitive, and the one in Leonardo had been, like all the analytical components, reverse-engineered to make it fit in the available space. Gordon had created it by tearing apart a normal-size spectrophotometer and then recreating it, except on a much smaller scale. Tony had nothing but admiration for Gordon’s abilities, but she doubted even he could manage to create a miniature spec that was as good as the original.
It could go wrong innumerable ways. Since Tony had no electronics or mechanical aptitude to speak of, she was interested only in what a given instrument could do. The most important thing was it had been able to perform reliably. Could she and Gordon possibly convince Erica to make Leonardo any bigger?
Gordon had tried, but Erica was determined that it had to be consumer friendly, i.e., small and simple to use. This was her mantra, and nothing could change her view. In spite of the evidence, and even with modifications, it wasn’t simple or straightforward for the proverbial person on the street to use. But once a thought was established in Erica’s brain, it was extremely hard to dislodge it.
To test the Leonardo’s consumer friendliness, Gordon had taken an early version of the Leonardo 2.0 to a software company in the City, where one of his friends worked. The employees allowed themselves to be guinea pigs. They could manage to prick their fingers, but then they had to collect the blood drops using a gizmo called a transfer pen and get the blood into the microcaps and then into the Leonardo. In other words, lay people had to undertake a lab process. None of them were able to do it right the first time, or even the second and third time.
When Tony heard this, she wasn’t surprised. Even handling one’s own blood gave a lot of people pause. But Gordon’s test subjects were able to do it eventually. It was probably better that Erica’s current vision was for patients to go to Graff Drugstores, where a drugstore employee took their blood and then operated the Leonardo. Gordon noted that it had taken a lot of convincing for Erica to back off her “Leonardo in every living room” idea. But it was a good sign that she, at last, listened to reason and permitted a modification of her original vision.
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