“If she was performing as a mermaid, she was probably a pretty good swimmer, right? So to drown...”
“Maybe, yeah. It does point towards murder rather than an accident, but we had already figured that.”
“Yeah, but what if she was drowned at work? In the tank?”
“Well, it’s possible in theory, I guess. But without seeing the tank set-up we don’t know if it’s possible in practice. And then to drive her all the way back across town... it doesn’t make sense.”
“Exactly! Now I’m definitely going. You can drive if you want.”
“Aw, crap. Fine. But no lap dances.”
❧
Slippery When Wet looked better than I expected when we pulled into the parking lot. Well maintained, lush landscaping, and discreet signage. We bypassed the valet and self-parked near the back. My dented Subaru stuck out in the lot filled with BMWs, Audis, and assorted luxury autos. I even saw a Bentley. As we approached the door I stopped to admire a Tesla. Don grabbed me by the elbow and tugged.
“You’d trash it the first month. Do you have any idea how expensive it would be to fix?”
“It’s so pretty, though. I’m just looking.”
“You’ll dent it with your eyeballs. Stop looking at the fancy car and let’s get this over with.”
I sighed and let Don drag me to the entrance. I paid the cover charge, which included the lunch buffet, and we were in. I was expecting it to be dark and seedy, but it was well lit and on the posh side. We were younger than most of the crowd, and definitely not as well dressed. No one said anything, though – that’s customer service right there.
The tables were on tiered levels leading down to the central aquarium, which was empty of mermaids at the moment. I wondered if that was because of Lana, or if they didn’t do the mermaid shows during the day. It looked more like a fancy seafood restaurant than a gentlemen’s club, except that the clientele were all men, and the waitstaff were all scantily-clad young women.
The buffet was over to one side, and I could make out a pile of peel-and-eat shrimp glowing pink under the lights. I kept one eye on the buffet table as we took our seats and waited for someone to take our drink order.
“They’ll bring out more if it runs out, you know.”
“I know, but it’s just so... so... I can’t seem to stop looking at it.”
“Remember you’re meeting with Dani in a couple of days.”
“Shrimp is, like, healthy, right? It’s paleo – she’ll probably want me to eat paleo, don’t you think?”
“You know that would mean no pizza, right?”
That got my attention.
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Paleo would mean no bread or cheese, so no pizza.”
“That’s so not happening.”
“That’s between you and Dani.”
The waitress – who introduced herself as Gloria – arrived at that point, and I ordered an iced tea.
“Long Island Iced Tea?” she asked.
“No. Just a regular iced tea.”
“There’s a two-drink minimum, sweetie.” She smiled and winked. “I can bring you a regular iced tea, but I’ll have to charge you for a beer.”
“I might as well have a beer, then.”
“I’ll have a gin and tonic,” Don told her. “Since he’s paying.”
“You’re driving back, don’t forget,” I told Don as we made our way to the buffet.
“We’ll figure it out. And just because you ordered a beer doesn’t mean you have to drink it.”
“You take that back. What a hideous thing to say!”
Don shrugged. I thought about my waistline and decided the only solution was to soak up the beer with a pile of shrimp and – ooh – hush puppies!
I had just started on my plateful of shrimp when Gloria returned with our drinks.
“What’s up with the aquarium?” I asked her. “Are there only mermaids in the evening?”
“Oh, well...” she turned her head to look at the tank. “The shows are on hold for now. But,” she turned back to me and tilted her head to one side, “if you don’t mind me saying so, you don’t seem like the kind of guy who’d be interested in mermaids.”
“I’m here for moral support,” I answered with a wink and nodded towards Don. I didn’t look at him because I knew he’d be giving me the stink-eye at this point. “My friend has a thing for mermaids,” I continued, throwing caution to the wind. “And I am interested in all-you-can-eat shrimp.”
“Ahh... got it. Well, Mike – Mr. Miletti – wants to keep it more low-key during the day. Attract the business crowd, that kind of thing.”
“So, no mermaids?”
She leaned down, and the view was impressive. “Just between us, the star – Lana – died during the flooding the other day.”
“No! How terrible!”
“And now Mike has to find someone to take her place. So, until that happens, there won’t be as many shows, and only in the evenings because we’re short-handed.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you going to try out, or audition, or whatever? To be a mermaid? I mean, you’re pretty enough.”
“Oh, that’s sweet.” She patted my hand. “But no, you have to be a really good swimmer, be comfortable in the water, and I’m not at that level. Like, Lana was a competitive swimmer in high school. She won all kinds of medals and even got offered a college scholarship for swimming!”
“It sounds like you were friends. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Oh, thanks sweetie, but we were... I wouldn’t say we were friends, but we knew each other. I’d better get back to work. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit, okay?”
I nodded and turned to face Don’s death-glare.
“Since when do I have a thing for mermaids?”
“Since I needed to explain why I’m at a gentlemen’s club in the middle of the day.”
Don took a big gulp of his drink and sat it back down, never taking his eyes off my face. “I’m going to drink your drinks, too, and then you’re driving home.”
“Fair enough.”
I was just sitting down with my second pile of shrimp when my attention was caught by movement at the entrance. Petreski and the bald detective I’d seen at the crime scene were standing at the desk, talking to the hostess. I saw Petreski sniff the air, and then turn to look straight at me.
“Shit.”
“What?”
“Petreski’s here.”
“We are so dead, and it’s all your fault.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out.
“WTF???” read the text.
“All u can eat shrimp!!!” I texted back.
I got no response and knew there’d be hell to pay later.
“Just ignore him,” I told Don. “Pretend we don’t know him unless he comes over here.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want anyone here to know we know the cops, and maybe Petreski doesn’t want them to know either.”
“Fine. But I want it made clear that this was all your idea and I did not want to come.”
“Yeah, yeah. Fine.”
Gloria returned a few minutes later with our second round of drinks. Her hand shook a little when she sat my beer on the table, but she didn’t spill any. She was a pro. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Oh, sure. It’s just...”
I didn’t say anything, but I put on my best worried face. As usual, it worked like a charm. She glanced over at the tank, where I could see Petreski and Baldy (I really needed to learn his name) talking to a slim, dark-haired man in a black suit and burgundy shirt.
“See those two men, the tall one and the bald one? They’re cops!”
I kept quiet and tried to look surprised.
“It seems Lana’s death was... she was... murdered!”
“No!”
She nodded, her eyes round. We turned to look at the tank. Baldy was handing the oth
er man a piece of paper. He looked it over, then pointed over his shoulder. Petreski nodded, and walked in that direction.
“Must be a warrant,” Don said.
A few moments later, we saw Petreski appear above and on the far side of the tank. We watched as he took a vial from a jacket pocket and fill it with water from the tank. I glanced over at Don, and our eyes met. If they were taking a water sample, then there must have been something other than bayou water in Lana’s lungs.
❧
Not one to be deterred by grouchy friends or disapproving boyfriends, I managed to polish off another plate of shrimp and a bowl of peach cobbler with ice cream. If it weren’t for the two drink minimum I could eat there all the time.
By this point Don wasn’t making much conversation, just giving me dirty looks and drinking my beer after polishing off his second gin and tonic.
“Dude, you are going to regret that later,” I told him.
“Regrets? I’m not the one eating strip buffet shrimp. You can tell me about regrets.”
“I will have no regrets. I may even come back.”
“How are you gentlemen doing this afternoon? Everything alright here?”
I looked up to see the owner – Miletti – standing next to our table. I had seen him earlier, after Petreski and Baldy had left, making the rounds.
“Oh!” I said. “The buffet is great! We were sorry to miss out on a show, though.” I nodded toward the empty aquarium. Don grunted and took another swallow of my beer.
“Ah, well, I’m afraid shows will be limited for a while.”
“Oh, of course. The server told us you lost your star – I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. Yes, she was the star, but we have other lovely mermaids in our cast, and shows should be back on again by this Friday evening. I hope you’ll be able to join us in the future?”
“Oh, I hope so. Thanks”
He nodded to both of us and moved on to the next table.
“He seems nice,” I said, scraping the bottom of the cobbler bowl with my spoon.
Don rolled his eyes and polished off my beer.
The Benefits of Meditation
“So was it worth it?” Don asked as I merged onto the highway to go home.
“Huh?” I was preoccupied, trying not to merge into a monster pick-up truck.
“The club. Was it worth it? Petreski saw us, and was it worth it just to confirm that she was murdered somewhere other than the bayou? We pretty much knew that already, didn’t we?”
“Well, aside from a plateful of surprisingly good shrimp, we learned more than that.”
“What? What that’s useful?”
“Lana was a good swimmer. Probably a great swimmer, if she got a scholarship for it. And if that’s the case, why was she working there? Why wasn’t she in school, or training for the Olympics or something like that?”
“Maybe something happened to the scholarship, or it didn’t cover everything and she had to make up the difference.” Don would know all about that, so I couldn’t argue.
“Yeah, maybe. And there was something weird about the waitress and the owner.”
“Weird how?”
“Sometimes she called him Mike, sometimes she called him Mr. Miletti, and she was totally freaked out by the cops.”
“You think she had something to do with it?”
I shrugged. “Probably not, but you can never tell. What did you make of Miletti?”
“Smooth.”
“Yeah. And he was out mingling and chatting right after the cops left, like he didn’t have a care in the world.”
“Maybe he doesn’t. Also, it’s his job, his business. He’s got to make sure the customers are happy and not worried about what’s going on behind the scenes. He can’t let anyone see he’s rattled by the cops, even if he is.”
“Yeah, of course. Makes sense. But you’d think her co-workers would be more torn up about it. Anyway, Gloria seemed genuinely shocked, but she’s got something going with Miletti, or she wants to, maybe? Or she thinks he could be involved and she’s freaking over that. I don’t know, just a feeling.
“Maybe you should meditate on it,” Don said, and I swear I heard a tone.
“Excuse me? Was that a tone?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“A tone. A sarcastic little tone. You have something against meditation?”
“Not a thing. Not a single thing. But I’ve seen you meditate.”
“And...?”
“I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe it’s your mantra or something.”
“Maybe what’s my mantra?”
Don inhaled with a loud snoring sound, then whistled the breath out.
“That’s... what?! I don’t snore! And I’m meditating, not sleeping!”
“Sure, Jake. Whatever you say.”
“I mean, maybe... once in a while... It’s stress relieving, you know? And sometimes the stress just goes so completely that I slip into a sleep state or something. Like, like a trance! I’m sure it’s a high level meditation thing.” I was pretty sure it wasn’t.
“Sure. I’m sure that’s it.”
“And even if I did, I certainly don’t snore!”
“No, of course not. What was I thinking?”
“But seriously, the club.”
“What about it?”
“I have more questions now than before we went.”
“Why are you doing this, exactly?”
“Doing what?”
“Going to the club, meeting with the trainer, all of it. Why not just leave it to Petreski and the cops? It’s their job. You’re a student. You should be studying, not running around like Miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher.”
“You couldn’t think of a better comparison than little old ladies?” I saw myself more as a Cumberbatchian Sherlock Holmes. I just needed a long coat, although I’d never get to wear it in Houston.
“Nope.”
“Don’t you want to know? And poor Lana. She deserves justice, and I saw things no one else saw. If something I see or someone I talk to triggers a memory or a connection, maybe it will help. I can’t just sit by doing nothing if there’s even the smallest thing I can do.”
Don sighed. “Fine. Okay. But be careful. Don’t do anything that will put either of us in danger. When I think about Katz...”
He hadn’t brought up Katz in weeks, maybe months.
“You’re still thinking about that?” I asked, like it was no big deal.
“He almost killed you, Jake. Killed. As in dead, no longer here. How do you think that would have made me feel? Your parents? Miss Nancy? Petreski?”
“I get it. I swear – public places, low profile, all that stuff.”
I couldn’t get mad at Don for worrying, but I was getting tired of everyone warning me to be careful.
We’re All Grownups Here
The rain had started up again before we got home. On top of what we’d already had there was sure to be more flooding. On the bright side, maybe I would have to cancel my appointment with Dani.
“I’m going to go check on Miss Nancy,” I told Don. “Do you want to come or shall I drop you off?”
“I’ll go, but shouldn’t we call first? What if she’s got a client, or whatever?”
“She hates talking on the phone, so half the time she doesn’t answer. If she’s busy she hangs a tota on the door. So we’ll just drive by and see.”
There were no brightly-colored birds hanging from the knocker when we arrived, so I parked and we made our way up Miss Nancy’s front walk. The yard smelled fresh and herbal after all the rain. I didn’t know what all the plants were but I could appreciate Miss Nancy’s green thumb.
Miss Nancy gave us both big hugs and fussed over us as we headed back to the kitchen for tea.
“Where’s the little furbaby?” she asked.
“At home. We were out already when we decided to come see you.”
“Jake made me go to a gentlemen’s club and he ate to
o much shrimp off the buffet.”
She didn’t bat an eye when Don told her where we’d gone. “You ate strip club shrimp? Boy, are you out of your mind?”
That’s what she decided to focus on? “It was fine.”
“Honey, those places are not known for their kitchens. There’s no telling how fresh that shrimp was, or how long they left it sittin’ out.”
“It was fine.”
She didn’t look convinced and made me drink ginger and mint tea. I decided it was best not to argue and drank the strong brew. Don got something with hibiscus in it that smelled delicious. I wanted to ask her how she knew so much about strip club buffets, but the look on her face did not bode well for that line of questioning.
I should be happy that so many people cared about me and worried over me, but honestly it was just tiring and I was starting to feel suffocated by the fussing and scolding.
And that’s when it hit me... sitting there in Miss Nancy’s spotless kitchen, the windows open and the smell of herbs and flowers blowing in from the back yard. I was the baby... the youngest... a man-child Peter Pan who, in their eyes, hadn’t grown up. Maybe it was partly my fault for dicking around with school and not choosing a path sooner, but I was a late bloomer in that regard. It didn’t make me a child, and it didn’t mean I deserved to be treated like one.
“Jake? Jake, honey?”
I blinked a couple of times and turned my focus to Miss Nancy.
“You okay, honey? You were a million miles away.”
“I was thinking. Sorry.”
“Looked like it was a big thought.”
“It was. I think it really was.”
She patted my hand and poured me some more tea. I didn’t argue, but I didn’t drink it, either.
“I pay all my bills on time,” I blurted out.
“What?” Don’s confusion was obvious. Miss Nancy just watched me, sipping her tea.
“I’ve never had a speeding ticket. I don’t drink and drive and I pay my credit card off every month.”
“Uh... okay?”
“I think Jake’s trying to make a point,” Miss Nancy told him.
I looked back and forth between the two of them – Don’s confused face and Miss Nancy’s serene one.
“I’m just saying, I’m a responsible adult, and if I want to take my chances with strip club shrimp, it’s my own decision.”
Not a Mermaid Page 6
