They sat together on the couch, and she turned to him. "I need to tell you something. I should have told you long ago, but I didn't think about how important it was until I was talking to your mother yesterday."
Jake's heart started to beat faster. He needed to tell her something too. She needed to know he loved her. "I need to say something to you too. I'll let you go first, though." He took both her hands in his, giving her his full attention. Please God, let her say she loves me first. I'm not sure I can put myself out there unless I know the feelings are returned.
Addie took a deep breath. "Our first Friday back in Manhattan? When I was finding a restaurant for us to eat at? I thought I'd use your computer rather than trying to see what I needed to see on my tiny phone screen or pulling out my laptop. When I sat down, your document was up from where you'd been writing, and I read through over a page before I stopped myself. That's how I knew you were Roger Holiday. I'm so sorry!"
Jake shook his head for a moment as if to clear his mind. "You mean, you did something I'd asked you not to do, and then you got mad at me and said you couldn't trust me? So you not only betrayed my trust, you made a big deal at the same time about me betraying yours?" He wasn't angry, but he was hurt. How could she accuse him when she'd done something wrong as well?
"It didn't even occur to me I'd done something that would upset you until I talked to your mother yesterday." A lone tear rolled down her cheek. "We were talking about how private you are about what you're writing, and it occurred to me that I was as bad as she was."
"As bad as she was? What do you mean by that?"
"When she would sneak into your room and read what you wrote when you left for school."
"She wouldn't do that. My mother has more respect for me than that." Why would she try to make him angry with his mother? She'd done nothing wrong!
Addie closed her eyes. She'd just betrayed his mother as well. What was wrong with her? She said nothing else about what his mother had done, and instead focused on herself. "Well, while we were talking about how you felt about people who read what you are working on, I realized that I'd done something that you would abhor. I needed to tell you I'd done it. Will you forgive me?"
Jake shook his head. "I don't know that I can! Especially not with you trying to drag my mother into it! What is wrong with you?" He hadn't been angry until she'd started making accusations about his mother!
Addie looked at him, hating herself. "I'm sorry. I can't say much more than that."
"I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back later." Jake walked out the door and left without another word. She had no idea where he was going or when he'd be back.
She dried her tears and reached for her phone. She had to get help. She quickly touched her speed dial for the only person she could think of who might be able to give her some insight about what to do. "Dr. Lachele?"
"Addie? Is that you? Why are you crying?"
"I need some advice. I've messed up really badly." Addie sniffled again, reaching for a Kleenex to dry her eyes.
"Meet me at the restaurant where we had lunch with Danielle. Can you be there in thirty minutes?"
Addie thought for a moment about where the restaurant was. "Yes. It's only a fifteen minute walk from here. I'll see you there." She ended the call and went into the bathroom, using a cold wash cloth to try to help her eyes. They were bloodshot and her cheeks were red from crying.
She carefully locked the door behind her and headed toward the restaurant, arriving there a few minutes early. She looked around, but couldn't see the familiar purple hair, so she got a table for two.
She was led to a small table in one corner, and she sat down, looking at her phone and not making eye contact with anyone. She always felt funny sitting alone in a restaurant, almost like people were looking at her as if she couldn't find a friend.
She didn't have to wait long before the hostess brought Dr. Lachele, and the older woman took the seat across from her, automatically squeezing her hand. "Let's order, and then you can tell me everything that's happened."
Addie nodded, studying the menu. She didn't feel like soup, and that was her usual there, so she needed to find something different. She finally settled on a club sandwich and set the menu aside.
Dr. Lachele put hers down too. "What happened? I'm surprised this is the first I've heard from you really, but I expected anger, not tears. Tell me everything!"
Addie explained about how odd Jake was while writing. She talked about his long hours, his inability to even acknowledge someone was there, and his deception about who he really was.
"So you're angry about all that? And that's why you're crying?"
Addie shook her head. "No! He's mad at me for betraying him!" Addie never cried when she was angry. She was more likely to start yelling with anger.
Dr. Lachele blinked. "Okay, you left something out. Help me understand. How did you betray him?" She clearly didn't understand the problem.
"Jake has this thing about never let anyone read what he's working on. The first person to see it is always his editor, and if someone tries to read it, he gets really angry. Well, I knew that, but I was in a hurry to find a good restaurant near our apartment one evening, oh it was three or four weeks ago now. Anyway, I sat down at his computer to use the internet, and I just started reading. I didn't mean to, but his document was up. Well, that's how I found out he was Roger Holiday. I confronted him about his lies, and his lack of trust." Addie looked down at her hands. "I may have even called him a lying pig. It's unclear now. Anyway, I didn't tell him how I knew, not thinking that was important."
"I can see how you'd have deliberately forgotten telling him that," Dr. Lachele said encouragingly. "When did you realize your mistake?"
"Not until yesterday! I was talking to his mom, and she told me how she used to sneak in his room when he left the house so she could read whatever he was working on. She said it was the only way she could keep up with his work. And it occurred to me that I'd done something just as bad. I hadn't meant to, but I had. So I decided that as soon as we got home, I'd tell him."
"Where were you?" Dr. Lachele asked, obviously getting distracted.
"Montana, packing up his parents' house, and they showed up. I love them!" Addie had to make it clear just how much she liked her new in-laws.
"I knew you would! They're such lovely people!" Lachele shook her head, trying to force her mind back on track. "So did you tell him?"
Addie nodded. "He's really mad. He left, said he was going for a walk." She sighed. "I've really messed up."
The waitress came by then to take their orders. As soon as she was gone, Addie looked back at Dr. Lachele. "What do I do now?" She felt bereft. They'd been doing so well, and now she'd just blown it.
"I can't tell you what to do. You know that. Do you think he should be mad at you?"
"Definitely. And I told him about his mother sneaking into his room, and he didn't even know she'd done that. So now I feel like I've betrayed her as well!" Addie wondered if she should call his mother. She probably needed to know that she'd told him about her, assuming he already knew.
"Okay, so you got angry with him when you felt he betrayed you weeks ago. How long did you stay angry with him?"
Addie thought about it. "Forty-eight hours? Not long. I feel too much for him to stay angry long." She really wasn't certain what that had to do with anything, but Dr. Lachele obviously knew what she was doing with counseling.
"Have you told him?"
"Told him...?" Addie asked.
"Have you told him you love him? I know you've said you're sorry. You're the type of person who would say that first, but if you really put your feelings and emotions out there, it might help you." Dr. Lachele shrugged. "It's probably just going to be a matter of time. He gave you forty-eight hours. Can you do the same for him?"
Addie nodded slowly. "I can. The difference is, during his forty-eight hours, he was busy working and barely paid any attention to me. During my forty-eight ho
urs, we're apartment hunting. We'll be around each other a lot more while he's mad." She wasn't sure how she'd handle it if he acted angry and cold the whole time.
"Well, in my professional opinion, you should stop and buy yourself something really sexy on your way home. As soon as you get home, change into it, and crawl into his lap. He's a man; nature will take its course."
"How will that make him less mad at me?" Addie asked, confused.
"It might not! But it will help break the tension, and you'll be able to be around each other easier. If he's still mad, which he really probably will be, just wait him out. But while you're doing the horizontal mambo? Tell him you love him. It'll mean the world to him."
"Do you really think that will work? Won't he think I'm just messing with his emotions?" She didn't want him angry with her, but she needed to make sure she wasn't only making things worse.
Dr. Lachele shook her head. "Men don't think that way. He'll just be glad that he's getting some."
Addie chuckled softly. "You have an interesting way of looking at things for a purple haired lady with a PhD in psychology."
"What can I say? I'm unique!"
*****
Jake wandered through the streets of Manhattan, angry enough to kick someone. How dare she read his manuscript without his permission, and worse? How dare she accuse his mother of reading his writing whenever he left the house? He knew his mother would never do that!
Pulling his phone from his pocket, he hit the speed dial for his mother's cell phone. "Hi, Mom."
"You sound down. What's wrong with you?"
"Can I ask you something? I need an honest answer. Well, a couple of somethings." Jake didn't want to have this conversation, but maybe his mother could help him figure a couple of things out.
"What's that? You know I'll tell you the truth. Being blunt is my signature action."
"Well, what did you think of Addie? Did you like her?"
Beverly laughed. "I loved her. She was made for you. Why would you even ask me that? Couldn't you see how much I liked her?"
Jake smiled. "Yeah, I could. Now, for the hard question. Have you ever read one of my stories before it was finished?"
There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and finally she answered him. "Every single time you wrote one. As soon as you left for school, I was in your room, reading every word you'd written. How could I not? You're a wonderful writer, and I love you. Naturally I want to read what you've written."
Jake shook his head. Leave it to his mother to act as if doing something he specifically asked her not to do was a compliment. "Why didn't you ever tell me you did it?"
"Because I knew you'd get mad at me, of course. Would you have told you?"
Jake sighed. "Probably not. Okay, thanks. Have a good time in Montana."
"I plan on it. And Jakey?"
He cringed at the use of his childhood nickname. "Yeah, Mom?"
"Forgive her. Whatever she did? Love is worth it."
The phone was dead in his hand. He looked at it for a minute, before turning around and walking back toward the apartment. His crazy mother was right. Love was worth anything.
He moved through the tall buildings all lit up against the night. He loved his wife, and love was worth it. He needed to tell her he loved her.
By the time their building was in sight, he was jogging. He wanted to tell her quickly. He couldn't let her suffer by thinking he was mad at her. He knew how hard it was. Why, it had taken him longer to write the end of his book than it should have, because he was so worried about her. He wouldn't make her worry a minute longer than necessary.
He took the stairs two at a time, not wanting to have to wait for the elevator. Finally, he stood on the fifth floor outside their door. He reached for the door knob. Locked. What?
He knocked once and waited for her. When there was no response, he pounded. "Addie! Let me in!"
Chapter Ten
Addie got out of the elevator, the bag with her new lingerie in it tucked into her purse. She didn't want him to know she'd purchased it until she was wearing it for him. As she walked down the hall toward the apartment, she heard pounding. She hadn't noticed any of the neighbors being loud, so she was surprised. Who could be causing such a commotion?
She turned the corner into their hallway, and there was Jake, standing in the hall, pounding on their door. Her eyes widened. She'd never gotten around to giving him a key!
She hurried down the hall. "Jake, I'm here. I meant to be back before you. I'm so sorry!"
He turned and looked her up and down, as if he expected something to be wrong with her. "Where were you?"
"I was upset, so I went to meet a friend. I needed to talk."
He sighed, relieved. "I don't have a key." He knew it was obvious, but he felt like an idiot standing there in the hall having just pounded on their door for her to let him in.
She grinned. "I see that. I told you I had one for you, but we never got around to it." She opened the door and walked in. "We should talk. Let me get your key first though, so I don't forget again. Wait here." She went into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. She knew he must be wondering what she was doing as she quickly changed into the negligee.
She grabbed the key from her jewelry box and took a deep breath, before going back into the living room to give him the key. And shock him. She'd do that too.
She hadn't worn anything sexy for him since their honeymoon. Half the time he hadn't seemed to know she was there, so why bother? She walked over to where he sat on the couch, and stood in front of him, holding the key out for him. "Now, don't leave without it, unless we're together."
Jake's eyes took in her change of clothing. "What's this about?"
Addie shrugged. "I thought I'd get something new while I was out. Do you like it?" She spun in a slow circle for him so he could see her entire outfit.
He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I love it." The short, satiny nightgown was turquoise with spaghetti straps. "We need to talk before I show you just how much I love it." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down into his lap, holding her close.
"Can I go first?" she asked.
He nodded. "I believe ladies should always go first. In everything." He kissed the side of her neck while he waited for her to speak.
She was surprised he was so calm now when he'd been eaten up with anger just a couple of hours before. "I want to say one more time that I'm sorry. I didn't sit down to read what you wrote. It just kind of happened."
"I can understand that. Will you try not to do it again?"
She nodded. "I will. I love you too much to do anything that will upset you." It seemed that he'd already forgiven her, and she was thankful for that. She was glad he wasn't as stubborn as her, staying angry for hours instead of days.
His eyes widened. "What did you just say? Did you say you love me?" They were the words he'd been waiting for, but now that he thought he'd heard them, he had to verify.
"Yes. Is that a bad thing?"
He shook his head. "That's what I wanted to say to you." He pulled her head down for a tender kiss, no tongue and no hands grabbing her. Just lips meeting sweetly. "I love you, Addie. More than I could ever express."
She turned fully onto his lap to face him, one knee going to either side of his thighs so she could look into his eyes. "You're not mad at me anymore?"
He shook his head. "I talked to my mom. She admitted that she used to read whatever I wrote as soon as I left the house. I never knew. Why would she do that?"
Addie smiled. "Because she loved you and thought you were very talented."
"That's what she said." He stroked her cheek with one finger. It was hard to believe she loved him. She was so beautiful. He'd never once had to doubt her feelings for him. He knew he shouldn't be glad about deceiving her at the beginning of their marriage, but he was. He should have told her sooner, yes, but he was glad he hadn't told her immediately. He didn't think he'd ever have been able to trust her otherwi
se. "Do you know what else she said?" he asked.
"What?"
"She said that you were perfect for me, and I needed to fight for you, no matter what you did wrong. Because love's worth fighting for." He looked deeply into her eyes. "I think it is."
"Thank you for being so kind about it. Once I realized just what I'd done, I told you as soon as I felt like I could."
"I know you did. You did everything just right. I'm sorry I stormed off."
"Sorry you stormed off, because it upset me? Or sorry you stormed off because you didn't have a key and got locked out?"
Jake laughed. "Maybe a bit of both? Regardless, I am sorry. Thank you for not getting angry with me." He pulled her down for another kiss, appreciating her outfit. "Who did you go talk to anyway?" he asked.
"Dr. Lachele," she said, slightly embarrassed. "I was sure I'd ruined our relationship forever."
"Did she help you?"
She nodded. "Yeah, she did." She hoped he didn't ask what kind of advice Dr. Lachele gave, because that would embarrass her.
"I'm glad." He kissed her again, thrilled they were no longer fighting. "Wanna go hang out in the bedroom and 'talk' in there?"
"Sure. I love to talk to you." She got to her feet and took his hand, leading him toward the bedroom. "Does this mean that you'll pay more attention to me while you're writing a book?"
"Probably not. I mean, I can say I'll try, but I'd probably be lying." He winked at her when she glared at him.
"Can't blame a girl for hoping!"
"No, you can't!"
*****
She was exhausted by early afternoon the next day. They'd looked at fifteen apartments, and none were good enough. They were either too small, too bright, not enough bedrooms, the bedrooms were too small or her personal favorite, there were too many windows.
"How can you complain about windows? You need light to write by, don't you?"
"That's why Thomas Edison invented the light bulb."
Meddling in Manhattan Page 11
