“But...you marked that passage. That’s what made me decide to come and see you.”
“I marked it one night while I was waiting for you to shower. It was after spending a whole day kissing.” He grins. “I was hoping you’d find it earlier and move things along a little faster because all that kissing was killing me.”
I stare at him completely confused. I packed the books? How was that possible?
“That’s not all, Tessa.” Nicolai rolls us so that he’s on top of me and I’m secured beneath him. “You admitted you’re in love with me.” He kisses me softly and whispers, “That’s huge.”
It is huge. And, it’s not the only thing that’s huge. Nicolai’s body feels bigger than ever, his weight encompasses me—in a good way—and the way he swivels his hips between my thighs alerts me to something else that has grown rather huge.
I spread my legs for him and reach up to touch his cheek. “How old are you?” I whisper, marveling at both his insight into my psyche and the pleasure he’s arousing between my parted thighs.
“Old enough,” he murmurs as he drops a kiss to my cheek before moving to take my earlobe between his lips. The movement of his pelvis becomes more pronounced. Whispering hotly in my ear, he says, “And young enough to be ready to make love again.”
There is no mistaking his readiness. Me? My body is still flushed and swollen from our last lovemaking session but as his cock nudges my clit, I realize I’m ready too. Still, I clear my throat and say, “Just because we have three boxes of condoms doesn’t mean we have to use them all up.”
“What’s wrong, Ms. Savage? Can’t keep up?”
“At this rate, I’m not going to be able to walk.”
“Good. Then you won’t be able to walk out on me.”
I shake my head. “If I stay even one extra day it will lead to two and then three. Next thing you know, I’ll be calling London and telling them I can’t make it because I’ve been hijacked by this hot boy-toy.”
His erection is rubbing against my slit, up and down, it’s bliss.
“Is that all I am to you? A boy-toy?”
I press myself against him. “No,” I say. “You’re not.”
His kiss deepens and he murmurs against my lips, “Good. Then stay with me.”
Even though my pelvis seems to be saying one thing, I turn my head away from Nicolai’s kisses. “I can’t. I’ll hurt you. I won’t mean to, but I will.” I shake my head. “I’ll stay today, but I’m leaving tonight.”
He turns me back to face him. Though his lids are heavy with arousal, there’s resignation in his expression. “I know.” He lowers his head and kisses me so softly, so tenderly, breath hitches in the back of my throat as I stifle a sob.
Using his knees, he spreads my thighs and before I have a chance to wriggle away or even protest, he slides all the way into me. Flesh to flesh. Skin to skin. Breaking my never-before-been-broken second rule.
“Nicolai!” I try to wriggle away but I can’t move because he’s holding my hips tight.
“One time, Tessa,” he whispers against my cheek. “One time. Only with you.”
Chapter Twenty-Six- Nicolai
I shouldn’t let him do this, I should insist that he follow my most important rule, but it’s too late. We’re both too far gone and it feels too damn wonderful.
One more hard and fast rule this man has convinced me to break.
Not good.
Too good.
Our lovemaking is slow and sensual this time. Maybe it’s because we both feel so much. His body inside mine, rubbing, touching, loving. Each time he slides into me, I feel as if I’m connecting with him on a whole new level and it’s imperative that I feel each and every glorious inch of him moving within me, touching the deepest parts of me. Connecting.
Without even realizing I’m doing it, I teach him different positions, pushing him onto his back so I can ride him and rub my swollen clit against his erection. For a time, I simply sit astride him and circle my hips while he’s seated as deep as he can go, until I find the spot on my inner wall that shoots sparkles of pleasure out to my extremities and back. Breathless, I tug on his hands so he’s sitting and I wrap my legs around his back.
I don’t need to tell him what to do, he instinctively knows to lift me up and down, faster and faster until we’re rocking together, panting, my clit rubbing against his stomach, gravity forcing him deep inside...friction building, tension mounting until we’re so close.
It’s Nicolai who slows. He slides out of me and gently turns me so that I’m on my hands and knees facing the headboard. He starts out kneeling beside me, sliding his hand up and down the curve of my back until he ventures over my ass and around behind me, rubbing my pussy, spreading moisture from my soaking cunt up the crease of me. He deftly slides two fingers inside and then back out, spreading my moisture forward over my clit this time.
“I want to do it this way,” he says. “From behind.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I say, “Yes. Yes, I like it like that.”
He moves behind me, positioning himself, holding onto my hips, spreading my labia until the head of his cock is inside. This time he thrusts slowly, moving inch by inch until he’s flush.
“Fuck,” he whispers.
I wriggle my ass. “You like it?”
“Fuck.” He pulls out just as slow and thrusts again.
The new angle stretches me and I raise my pelvis to give him smoother access. With both palms on the cheeks of my ass, he spreads me apart and thrust again, this time harder.
I cry out with pleasure. “Again,” I pant.
He does. Harder.
“More,” I cry.
Bless his youthful heart, he does as I ask. Giving me exactly what I want. Perhaps that’s what makes me ask him to go further. “Slap my ass,” I cry.
“What?” He’s panting as he continues to thrust.
“Please, Nicolai. Slap my ass. Do it.”
So he does. Again and again as he thrusts harder and faster. Somehow I support my weight on one hand while I rub my clit with my other. It feels so good. He feels so good. I wish I could see him, but there are no conveniently placed mirrors. Instead, I close my eyes and picture him; the taut muscles of his ass as he thrusts, the grim look of concentration on his flushed face. The tensed muscles of his gorgeous six pack. His rock hard cock disappearing inside my rosy cunt as he reddens the cheek of my ass with his hand.
“Tessa?” His voice is hoarse and gruff. “Fuck...I’m going to...to come.”
Oh!
Yes!
He gives my ass one more resounding smack before burying himself to the hilt and pumping his seed deep inside of me while the walls of my pussy suck him off.
I’m crying as I collapse onto my elbows, though I feel as if I’m flying, weightless, out the window and into the glorious sunshine, one with the light, twirling and twisting, higher and higher...
Oomph.
Nicolai’s massive body slumping on top of me brings me back to earth. Glorious, glorious earth, where I’m encased in the arms of a glorious man who is wearing the most glorious smile.
For that brief moment in time, I am happy and at peace.
***
As is always the case, happiness and peace must be appreciated in the moment, because they are fleeting.
We make love three more times and I am now officially and wildly sore and exhausted. What had Nicolai said at the thermal springs? Five times for health? That seems about right.
Though one look at the bulge behind Nicolai’s fly and I can plainly see he’s ready...again, bless his young heart and youthful cock.
My luggage is packed, my flight leaves in an hour and our time left together is now measured in minutes. We’ve said everything there is to say, so we sit beside one another in a café across from my hotel, holding hands in silence. The contentment of a few hours ago is gone.
Strangely, instead of heartbreak, I feel nothing. I think it’s because my senses and emotions have
been so overstimulated in the last twenty-four hours—no—seven days that I’m spent. I’ve gone through the whole gamut of emotions from love, to peace, to anger, to hurt and heartache, to desire and ecstasy that my confused emotions have given up on me and decided to shut down.
Heartache will win in the end. I know this. It will begin as a dull throb, maybe mid-flight over the Aegean, maybe in the airport in Athens. It will inevitably blossom into a full-blown, heart-sick, gut-wrenching sense of loss. Knowing the pain will hit sometime in the near future, I welcome the numbness.
If not for the numbness, I’m not sure I’d be able to say goodbye.
I glance at the clock on the wall. “What time is your meeting with the realtor?”
“Half an hour.”
“You’d better get going.”
Nicolai clears his throat. “I know.”
Squeezing his hands, I say, “Don’t worry. It’ll sell. I know it will.”
He squeezes back. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“I know.” I check my watch again as if I didn’t just do it a minute ago. “I’ve got to get to the airport.”
He nods but we both continue to sit there, not moving. I swallow with difficulty and realize the numbness is starting to ebb, I’m starting to feel again—too soon—I have to leave.
Nicolai must sense the tension in my body as I’m about to stand. “Wait,” he says, holding me in place. He takes my hand and gently places it palm up on the table. He traces the splintered line that bisects my palm. “This is your heart line, do you remember?”
I nod, unable to speak beyond the lump forming in my throat.
He strokes my trembling hand. “You see where it becomes solid again?” He glances up at me. “Right here?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“I want to be this man. The one you choose...eventually. When you’re ready.” He stands, pulling me to my feet and into his arms. “Don’t forget,” he whispers into the hair at the top of my head. “I’ll be waiting.”
I don’t argue and say that his feelings for me will subside, there’s no use. I simply hug him back with all my might, breathing in the sunshine scent of him, catching a whiff of myself in the mix. Damn it, the deep-seated ache in the pit of my stomach has already begun.
Time to go.
I try to smile but my darned lips won’t cooperate. They go all quivery and I’m forced to bite down in order to hold them in check.
With his thumb beneath my chin, he tilts my face up. He mouths the words, “I love you.”
Without sound, I say it back.
Then, I turn and walk away. It is the strangest journey my legs have ever taken. It’s like I’m on one of those conveyor sidewalks at an airport, except it’s going the wrong way. I can see my car down the street but it appears to be getting further and further away, blurring into oblivion. Of course it’s all an illusion created by the tears welling in my eyes.
***
I make it to my gate just in time to board. I shove my carry-on into the overhead compartment and sit down in my seat, closing my eyes. After two days of next-to-no sleep, I’m so tired I feel light-headed and woozy. Maybe I’ll manage to sleep through the one hour flight. Then, when I get to Athens, I’m going to book the next flight to London. I thought I wanted to stay in Athens for a few days, but now I realize I need to get out of Greece. There are too many reminders of Nicolai here.
New sights, a different climate, a new hotel...
I’ll go shopping, yes, that’s what I’ll do, buy a whole new wardrobe and turf all this vacation garb so I won’t be tempted to wear it and smell it and hope to catch a whiff of sunshine and Nicolai on the clothes.
Thankfully, I doze off during the flight. It’s a fitful sleep, however, and I’m groggier than ever when we land in Athens. I miss my bag the first few times it passes me on the carousel but eventually drag it off and make my way to an agent to book my next flight.
Being back in the Athens airport reminds me of Alander, and I search the crowd as if I expect him to appear at any moment. But Alander’s not there. He’ll be on his yacht somewhere in the middle of the Aegean, undoubtedly with some other woman, or more likely, a whole flock of women. By now he’s forgotten all about me. I smile, wondering if I’ll ever see Alander again.
I hope so.
But if I don’t, that’s okay too.
My phone’s been switched off for the duration of my flight, but while I wait for my next connection, I switch it back on so that I can make a hotel reservation in London. I’ve decided to splurge and stay at The Savoy; a one bedroom suite with a view of the Thames. That’s the advantage to not paying a mortgage, I have the sort of disposable income to pay for extravagant suites when I choose, and a luxury suite at The Savoy, with butler service, is about as far removed from the Daphnis and Chloe Guesthouse as I can get. I morbidly hope it’s raining too. Rain and fog fit my mood perfectly.
As expected, there are three unread messages in my mailbox. I ignore them and am about to turn my mobile off again when it rings.
Oh shit.
I check the caller I.D.
It’s not Nicolai. That fact fills me with a strange combination of thankfulness and regret.
Neither is it Alander. Phew. I’m not in the mood to deal with his temper.
It’s someone else altogether and without hesitation, I answer.
“Ms. Savage, this is Maria Costas from the Lesvos Real Estate Agency.”
“Hi Maria,” I say, my voice sounding hoarse. “How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you. I’m calling to let you know the paperwork has all been signed and everything is finalized. You take possession July first.”
“Wonderful.” I force enthusiasm into my voice. I think I’m going to be sick.
“Do you have an address where I can send the keys?”
I give her the address for a P.O. Box I have in New York and remember to ask for recommendations on property management services. She gives me a few names to follow up with, which I jot down.
“Did he ask who the buyer was?”
“He did, but I said that the information was confidential.”
I lick my lips. “Thank you,” I say softly. “Thank you very much.”
My hand is shaking as I turn off my phone. The messages will have to wait. I don’t know who they are from. Nicolai? Alander? Chase?
It doesn’t matter. Either way, I can’t deal with them right now.
Closing my eyes, I sit back in the chair and focus on breathing. In, out, in, out, fighting the spots that surround my vision.
I can’t believe it. For the first time in seven years, I am a property owner. I have a home.
Why the hell did I do it? I don’t know. It’s completely irrational and goes against my very nature. Yet, just like earlier in the week when Nicolai asked me why I was helping him, my answer is the same about the house as it was about him.
I don’t know why I decided to do it, I just know that I can’t not do it.
When Nicolai asked, I had to help him.
Knowing the house was for sale, I had to buy it.
Maybe Nicolai is right. Maybe I am changing. And, maybe one day our paths will cross again.
I hope so.
THE END
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Chapter Twenty-Three- Alander
I don’t know what I’m expecting, a lightning bolt, maybe? But of course nothing happens. The earth doesn’t move, the heavens stay closed and no voice speaks to me, giving me the divine answer.
With a sigh, I open The Love Songs of Sappho, hoping in vain to eith
er find the answer to my dilemma somewhere in the fragments of her ancient writings. Or, at the very least, have something to do to keep me distracted.
Stupid.
Some of the poems are only a line long, because that’s all scholars have been able to find, but I have to reread each line over like ten times. It’s pretty sad when I can’t even concentrate on a single line of poetry.
Leaving the book resting against my chest, I slide down beneath the covers, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling. Nicolai’s face flashes across my mind’s eye, followed by Alander, then back to Nicolai. I groan and press my palms against my eye sockets, hoping to remove the embedded images that torment me. I see starbursts now instead of faces but there is no respite for the wicked because now I hear their voices.
First, Nicolai, reminding me of my promise to him.
Then, Alander, reminding me of who I really am.
There’s no way I’m going to get any sleep tonight, not with all the turmoil these two men have created. My eyelids aren’t even heavy and no matter what I do, my brain will not shut off.
But at some point it does shut off and I do fall asleep. I know this because the room is suddenly filled with light and the clock beside the bed reads eight-thirty. I feel as if I’ve spent the last few hours in a giant tumbler only to be shaken out on my head. I sit up, filled with confusion, and rub my face. It can’t possibly be eight-thirty in the morning.
I climb out of bed, stumble to the window and part the drapes. The day is bright and sunny. People crowd the street below and the sound of horns blasting from ferries in the nearby port remind me of where I am—in my hotel—and where I am not—at the castle, the port or the airport. The decision I was supposed to make has been made for me.
I am too late for Nicolai.
Though my heart aches, I realize it is for the best that I didn’t meet him. As hard as it is to leave him behind, my role was as tutor, mentor, lover and friend. Nothing more. My future is not with him and his is definitely not with me. As if to reinforce this point, I find my book of poetry has fallen face down on the floor beside the bed. When I pick it up, the book is open to a page containing the following fragment:
Seduction in the Sun: Adult Romance Box Set (9 Sizzling Tales with BBW, Billionaires, Bad Boys, and Alpha Males) Page 59
