“Lightning does strike twice. You should have died the first time.”
Fat
“Here you go,” Kevin said, his voice lowered to a dull whisper as he crept through the patio doors. He handed Claudia the cheap mobile phone he had bought. It’s pay as you go with twenty pounds credit.”
Claudia smiled her gratitude as she took it from him.
“Have you told him yet?”
She shook her head and kept her own voice as low as Kevin’s. “No. I’ve been meaning to do it but it’s hard. It’s much more difficult to actually do it as opposed to just thinking about it.”
Kevin flashed a sympathetic smile. “I know, and I don’t want you to feel pressured by this. It’s completely your choice. If you’re sure this is what you want then you take your time telling him. After all, this is a huge change for you, and you have to be sure.”
Claudia smiled, almost laughing as her heart gave a nervous flutter. “I’m certain that this is going to happen. I’ve already packed. My cases are under the bed, ready. I just need to do it.”
A low, rough call bellowed from another room in the house, the sound vaguely resembling her name. She saw as Kevin gave a frown, not understanding what was called, but Claudia knew. She had lived with it for eighteen years.
The voice bellowed again.
Sighing, she looked over at her lover. His face was soothing and comforting, and reminded her that her horror was soon coming to an end. She was going to start afresh. She was going to be happy for once instead of afraid, and maybe her dream of having children would become fruitful.
Kevin glanced back at her with silent reassurance and gave a smile of encouragement.
Taking a deep breath, Claudia glanced across at the doorway and stood up straight, preparing herself. Today was going to be the day. Today she was going to tell him. This was it. Now.
Feeling dubious, she stepped across the room, her body beginning to tremble with anticipation as her hand gripped the phone. It was the right choice. She had her own life to lead, but how she was going to put that to Gerald was another thing. He would never understand. Exhaling, she changed her expression to one of forced kindness and proceeded, thankful that Kevin was waiting for her.
She wound her way through the hallway of the house and headed for the open door that sat at the end. Even from here she could hear the grated, strained breaths of her husband, and the smell was even worse. She tried her best everyday to clean and aid Gerald with his toilet and his bathing, but the retched smell of raw faeces and urine still lingered. It had stained the very walls of the house and had been the reason why she had ripped up the carpet. She knew it would never come out.
His ragged breathing became louder the closer she got to the door, and within seconds she was in. The familiar sight of her husband repulsed her, but she had learnt long ago to deal with her emotions regarding him. Ignoring the sight, she stared straight into his eyes, eyes that were almost lost within the mounds of flesh that hung from a face framed with sweaty, lank hair.
“I heard voices,” he grunted. His mouth struggled to form his words, his movements made awkward by the excess bagginess of his cheeks. His chin was lost in his neck, and his whole face wobbled as he spoke.
“Voices, Gerald? Must have been the TV. There’s nobody here.” She flashed him a nervous smile. It was a lie she had told many times over, knowing full well that Kevin was hiding in the other room, but it still didn’t settle her nerves – especially not today.
He grunted with ignorant acceptance before resting his head back on his pillow. His body didn’t move as he lay on his double mattresses with his arms draped beside him and his legs sprawled out either side. He no longer looked like a man. He hadn’t for a good few years now. He just resembled a huge, grotesque mound of blubber. His stomach consisted of roll after roll of dimpled skin that rippled its way down his legs. His kneecaps were non-existent, and the mounds of fat prevented him from walking. He had been bed-ridden for those years, unable to do anything for himself except grow larger.
He was monstrously obese, and the last time he was weighed he found himself at forty-two stone. Since he had been bed-ridden he had put on so much more. His bed had collapsed under the weight last year, and now he had resorted to two double mattresses stacked upon each other on the floor. He couldn’t fit into any clothes and so laid naked with a yellow sheet draped over him. His mounds of blubber covered up his man-hood, but it was nothing to be proud of, Claudia thought. It hadn’t been used sexually for over seven years.
She kept her feelings to herself. Even though he was incapable of physical violence unless she was in reaching distance, he still had a quick, sharp tongue on him that often made her cry. It was through fear and routine that she had stayed with him for so long.
“Well, since you’re here, I need a drink. Get me a drink,” he said, his skin wobbling all the way down to his chest.
Claudia gave a sigh. “What would you like?”
“Coke, and don’t skimp like you did last time! I still need to drink on this diet.”
Turning around, she left the room and headed for the kitchen. Kevin sat waiting on a breakfast stool. Despite the fact the man was having an affair with Gerald’s wife, he showed no fear towards sitting in the man’s house whilst he was still at home. Gerald never had any idea that he was there. He nodded to Claudia as she passed, silently asking if she was alright.
Claudia gave a smile in return and mouthed that he wanted a drink before pouring him one. With the glass in one hand and the phone still in the other, she re-entered the bedroom. Gerald took the drink from her, each finger on his disfigured hand as fat as two of hers.
Claudia took a deep, preparing breath and then decided that it was now or never. She had to tell him.
“Gerald,” she began, her voice trembling. “I have something I need to tell you.”
“Prop up my pillows, woman. I can’t drink like this. I’m too low.”
Without thinking about it, a habit that had been drummed into her over the last few years, Claudia moved forward and propped his pillows. He leaned forward as she did so. She used to believe he was making it easy for her by doing this, but it was only so she could lift the pillows high enough for his comfort. When he leaned back, he raised his glass and began drinking.
“I really have something I need to tell you,” Claudia repeated.
“Well go on then. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
Claudia found herself holding her breath. She couldn’t look at Gerald through fear and shame, but she knew now was the time. She had to do it. Without exhaling, she opened her mouth and let the words fly out.
“I’m leaving you.”
At first it seemed Gerald hadn’t acknowledged what she had said and finished his coke in just a few mouthfuls. Then he swung his head round to look at her, his fat, pouting lips wet and glistening. He remained silent as he stared with placid, cold eyes.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“I heard you. You’re not going anywhere.” His rough voice was mocking and full of disbelief. Raising his empty glass, he glared at it, disappointed that it was empty. Then he held it out, gesturing for Claudia to refill it.
Fighting the habit to step over and abide, she remained where she stood and refused. Gerald seemed taken back by this, but gave a shrug, the shift causing ripples of movement all the way down to his grotesque calves. Throwing his hand to the side of him, he dropped the glass on the floor. So many times he had done this, regardless of whether it was full or empty, and so many times Claudia had to clear it up off the stained wooden floor.
Remembering the phone in her hand, Claudia took a quick step forward and placed it on the mattress beside him before jumping back, distancing herself from reaching hands. If he caught her, she knew he’d hurt her. He had a strong grip.
Gerald’s eyes looked down, his head unable to follow, as his hands fumbled for the object she had placed there. When his fingers found it, he lifted it to see wh
at it was. “What’s this?”
“It’s a phone.”
“Why do I need a phone?”
“So you can call for help.”
Gerald glared at her and she gave a sigh. “I’ve tried to help you, Gerald, but I can’t do it any more. I understand your embarrassment to see a specialist, and understood when you decided you didn’t want to go out anymore, but I’m no carer. I can’t look after you, and I can’t give you the care you need. I’m thirty-six years old, and I have nothing to show for it.”
Gerald continued to stare at her. “Are you still nagging about getting a doctor in? I’m telling you there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just a little over-weight, and it’s nothing a little diet won’t eventually cure.” He looked down, balancing the phone on his chest, and shifted some of the fat on his arm so he could get more comfortable.
Claudia sighed with growing frustration. How many times had she heard him say that? Nothing would get through to him.
“This has got nothing to do with a doctor. You’re a stubborn, delusional fool to think that nothing is wrong with you, but I can’t make you see that. I can fight and fight until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t change matters with you. I’ve given up, Gerald. You can sit in that bed and gorge yourself until you choke to death for all I care. I’m still leaving.”
Now a hint of emotion sparked on his face, but Claudia couldn’t tell what it was. Was it his usual temper about to flare? At least she was going to get a reaction. If he went mad about her leaving then it would give her just cause to go without feeling guilty.
“So what do you want then? You want me try harder?” Gerald spat back. “I’ve already accepted your stupid ‘half portions’ and your disgusting, supposedly healthy food options. The weight has already started to drop off me, but it’s not like I can get up and go for a jog now, is it! So you tell me! You tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do!”
“Let me go.”
“Bah!” Gerald barked. “You’re my wife! You’re to stay here and look after me! You have a duty!”
Claudia stepped closer to the bed. “Duty! What about me? I have a life too. I want to go out and enjoy it! I want to do things without having to worry about getting back to feed you or clean your arse! I want a family, Gerald. I want children!”
Gerald scoffed. “Well if you want them that badly then go and get yourself knocked up. Hell, I’ll even pay for one of those male whores. That’d suit you right down to the ground.”
Tears welled in Claudia’s eyes and dripped down her face. “See! It’s this attitude that I can’t take much more of. You don’t care about me! You don’t love me! You just need me to look after you.”
Gerald gave a sarcastic sigh. “Oh, I get. You want some loving. Some good old-fashioned loving, yeah?” Raising his hands, he began to stroke the fat that coated his chest, teasing his nipples that drooped down either side, and then moving to the blubber on his stomach. “You like that, yeah? I can see it in your face. You want some of this. It’s driving you crazy…yeah.”
Claudia turned her nose up with disgust and edged back towards the door. “You’re repulsive.”
“But you want some, don’t you? You’re a hot-blooded woman who needs a good seeing to. So come on then. I’m waiting.”
Wiping her tears, Claudia stared her husband in the eye, rage beginning to boil inside her. “I may be a hot-blooded woman, but let me assure you, my needs in that department have been well and truly looked after.” The words were out before she realised she was speaking them, and she could see the confusion ignite in his eyes, his hands pausing in mid-seductive motion. Thoughts were racing through his mind and she smiled, suddenly enjoying the feel of standing up to him at long last. Feeling no regret, she continued, conceding to telling him the truth.
“Yes, Gerald. I’ve been seeing someone else.”
He scoffed and looked away from her. “You’ve not found someone else. You’re just saying that.”
Claudia gave a soft laugh. “You don’t believe me? Oh, this is going to be good.” Sticking her head around the door, she called for Kevin. Dubiously, her lover walked from the kitchen and stood beside her, showing himself to Gerald for the first time in a year. The shock on Gerald’s face was as prominent as the disgust on Kevin’s. They glared at each other.
“Who the fuck is this?” Gerald spat.
Again Claudia gave a soft laugh. “This is the man who’s going to make me happy, which is something you have never done.”
Gerald gave a slight roll on his mattress, the blubber rolling from one side to the other. “You’re leaving me for this arse?”
“Yes. He’s made me feel like the woman I am.”
“Are you telling me that you’ve slept with him, too?”
Claudia grinned and nodded. “Oh yes, Gerald. Many times. He’s a much better lover than you ever were. And would it shock you if I told you that we did it right here under your nose?”
Gerald looked stunned.
“Oh, yeah. We’ve done it just the other side of that wall, Gerald, and you know what? It was good. Real good!” Turning, she urged Kevin out of the room, intending to leave.
“You fucking whore!” Gerald bellowed. “In my own house! If you set one foot out side that door I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Look at you, Gerald. Look at the god-awful state of you! What are you expecting to do? Get up and chase me down the garden path?” She gave a chuckle. “I can’t see that happening somehow.”
He started rolling on his bed again, roaring his deep, angry roar. He wanted to get up. He wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch who had been shagging his wife. He needed to get up, but he couldn’t quite do it. The huge amount of fat that surrounded his body was weighing him down.
“Do yourself a favour, Gerald. Use that phone and call for help, because I’m not going to be around anymore to do so.” She turned and left the room.
Kevin smiled at her, letting her know that he was there if she needed comforting, and she smiled back, glad that it was finally over. Then they headed into her room, grabbed her suitcases and belongings and dragged them out the house.
“Claudia! I’m gonna kill you! I’m telling you, I’m gonna get off this god-damn bed, and I’m track you down and kill you – both of you! Do you hear me! I’m gonna fucking kill you!”
Even as they loaded the car and drove off down the street, they could still hear Gerald roaring with rage.
But it was done. It was over. She had finally left him.
* * *
“You’re crazy to set foot in that house again,” Kevin said as he steered the car down the street.
It had been three weeks since Claudia left Gerald, and the relief of not having to look after him and suffer his abusive outbursts was amazing. She felt so much better in herself. She felt happier, healthier, and she had regained some of her youth. Why it had taken her so long to leave was beyond her. But now she had, she had never looked back. Although on some days she did find herself wondering how Gerald was. He had the mobile phone and she hoped he hadn’t been too stubborn to call for help. She didn’t want him to starve to death, but it was his problem and his choice if he did.
“I just need to grab this necklace. It was my mother’s. Why I forgot to pack it I don’t know.” It was only half a lie. Yes, she had forgotten to pick up her mother’s necklace. With her exit wanting to be as quick as possible, there had been a lot of stuff left behind. But she also wanted to see how Gerald was doing. She had devoted eighteen years of her life to him, and so forgetting him wasn’t that easy. “Would you come in with me though?”
Kevin smiled. “Of course I will. Just like old times, he’ll never know I’m there.” Both laughed as he brought the car round a corner and pulled up outside the house. It felt strange to be back, and Claudia felt goose-bumps prickle her flesh. It hadn’t struck her before, but now, as she stared up at the house, she began to wonder whether this was wise.
“It’s my mother’s necklace,” she grumbled
to herself, gathering the strength she needed to go in. “Come on. Let’s get this over and done with.” Opening the car, she stepped out and waited for Kevin to join her. Together they both walked up the path. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the key, feeling glad she had kept it, then slotted it into the hole and opened the door.
Utter silence greeted them, along with the familiar smell of faeces and urine, but there was something else too. A strange sickly smell lingered in the air. Claudia couldn’t tell what it was.
Placing her hand over her mouth, afraid that the smell might bring back unwanted memories, she stepped in with Kevin behind her. Not wanting her stay to be too long, she made her way towards her old room and found what she was looking for straight away. Slipping the box and her necklace straight into her bag, she smiled at Kevin.
“Let’s go,” she whispered and then walked into the hallway.
She stopped.
The door to Gerald’s room was still open, and she stared at it, fixated. Kevin squeezed her hand, wanting her to get moving, but she didn’t. Something was wrong. A feeling in her gut told her so. It was just too quiet. She couldn’t hear the ragged sound of his breathing. It had been a constant reminder that he was still there before, but now there was nothing. It wasn’t right.
Letting go of Kevin’s hand, she crept towards the open door. She half expected as she peered around the corner to see Gerald’s starved dead body lying on his mattresses, for his excess flesh to be decomposing and being the source for that strange, sickly smell, but the sight that greeted her was worse, much worse.
A Bribe For The Ferryman Page 5
