She's Gone: A Novel

by Emmens, Joye

  Daniel was home when she returned. Jolie poured mint iced tea, and they went out to the back porch. Fragrant mint leaves floated with the ice cubes. They hadn’t caught up for a while, and she was eager to talk. Jolie told him about New York.

  “I have photos to show you.” She hurried into the house and brought out a few. “I have so many to print.”

  Daniel picked up the photo of Zack, Leah, Sarah and herself. “Look at you Bohemians! Who’s the guy?”

  “Zack, Leah’s brother. Leah asked about you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I told her about the photo project with your students. She said she’d help if we needed her.”

  “We need her. We’re on for next Saturday. Ten kids have signed up. In addition to Leah, it would be good to get one more adult to come with us.”

  “I’ll ask Will if he can come.”

  Daniel’s eyebrows arched, and he shook his head. “It’ll never happen.”

  “It doesn’t hurt to ask. I’ll go to the camera store tomorrow and see if they’ll lend me a few used cameras for Saturday.”

  He shook his head again, smiling, and got up. “You’re such a dreamer. I’m going for a bike ride along the river.”

  “You mean girl watching?”

  “Well, that too.” He smiled sheepishly.

  Jolie gathered her notes about Boston’s history, grabbed her camera, and walked to the office. She wanted to type up the historic site list for the student field trip.

  At the open door of the office she stood in disbelief. “What happened?” she asked.

  The place had been ransacked. Mail was strewn on the floor. File cabinets were overturned in the living room. The teletype machine lay on the floor, on its side, silent. Communists was scrawled on the wall with dark pink lipstick. Will, Adam, Charlie, and the professor sat in the kitchen.

  “We’ve been raided,” Will said.

  “You mean robbed?” Jolie said.

  “Raided,” Adam said.

  Sam and Ginger walked in with a half a case of beer, pretzels, and chips and set them down on the kitchen counter. Ginger and Jolie hugged.

  “I think we could all use one of these,” Sam said, as he opened beers and passed them out.

  “Vive la revolution,” Will toasted. “They’ll never stop us.”

  Everyone echoed the salute and clinked bottles.

  “Who is ‘they’?” Jolie asked.

  “The FBI, most likely.” the professor said.

  Jolie looked at Will and froze.

  “The FBI?” she mouthed, unable to speak.

  Will put his arm around her shoulder. “It’s all right, it’s going to be all right.” He squeezed her tight, and looked into her eyes. “They’re raiding free presses all over America.”

  Her stomach flipped, and she slipped into the bathroom and leaned against the porcelain sink, tears falling. The FBI was in their midst. What if Will got arrested?

  “Are you okay?” Charlie said, outside the door.

  She splashed water on her face, took a few deep breaths, and went out.

  “It’s just harassment to stop the paper. All they did was slow us down,” Charlie said.

  They went into the kitchen, her face still blotchy from tears. Ginger handed her a cup of tea, and they went into the living room. Ginger recounted the events. Charlie had come in that morning and the place had been turned upside down. Names and phone numbers of other underground press contacts had been taken. Eldridge Cleaver’s Algerian contact information was gone.

  She could hear the men in the kitchen, talking loudly. The incident had invigorated them. Jolie followed Ginger back into the kitchen. Ginger put the chips and pretzels on the table and sat on Sam’s lap. Jolie picked up her camera and started taking pictures of the disarray. When she’d finished photographing, she set her camera down and leaned against the kitchen counter, listening. She hadn’t hung around the office lately, but the group seemed smaller.

  When there was a lull, she asked, “Where are Coulter and Marlena?”

  “I haven’t seen Coulter for a week or two, but it’s summer. Everyone’s getting out of the city,” Will said.

  “I haven’t seen Marlena for a while,” Adam said.

  “The writing on the wall looks familiar, like Marlena’s,” Jolie said.

  “You’re being paranoid again,” Will said.

  “Those two never sat true with me,” Jolie said.

  “Nah, they’re okay,” Adam said.

  “I don’t know,” the professor said. “I tried to contact Marlena through the school directory for a teaching assistant role, and she’s not listed as a student. I didn’t think much of it. Maybe she uses a different name around here. Some people aren’t who they say they are.”

  Jolie and Will’s eyes locked.

  “Do you think they’re informants?” Ginger said.

  “I’d say it’s a pretty good bet if they don’t come around anymore,” Sam said. “They’re probably already on another assignment.”

  They debated Coulter and Marlena’s involvement in the break-in. Jolie was sticking to her intuition. Charlie started looking for Marlena’s handwriting on something, anything.

  Jolie looked around at the chaos. “Since we’re not calling the police, is it okay if I start to straighten up this mess?”

  “Have at it, Jolie girl. We’ve already done an inventory and know what they took,” Adam said.

  Jolie began to straighten up the chaos, stacking piles of mail and organizing files. When the professor left, Will put on a Stones album, and everyone sprang into action. Adam righted the file cabinets, and Jolie put files away.

  Driving back to the house that night, Jolie asked Will, “Do you think it was the FBI?”

  “Well, it sure wasn’t the Black Panthers.”

  She shot Will a look. “I’m scared. What were they looking for?”

  “Anything to shut us down.”

  “What if you get arrested?”

  “We’re not doing anything illegal. They couldn’t find anything, so they trashed the place. It’s happening all over. Intimidation and harassment is the name of their game.”

  The meeting with Leon flashed through her mind. Something about the meeting had not felt right. And then the bank was bombed that night. But she had given him an envelope, not a bomb. “What was in the envelope I gave Leon?”

  “Oh, just some contacts he needed.”

  She had to get a grip. The FBI raid was getting the best of her. She tried to shake off the dark feeling.

  At the house, Jolie went into the dark room and developed the negatives from the break-in. Her hand trembled as she hung the negative strip up to dry.

  35

  History Lesson

  The next morning Jolie went to the office early with Will. She typed up the historic site list and a homework assignment for the field trip. Will was preoccupied with a story he’d started about the break-in.

  “I need to stop by after work to mimeograph some stuff.” She kissed Will and walked out the door into the morning.

  Jolie headed to the camera store in the Square. Niles’s face lit up with a smile.

  “Haven’t seen you for a while. What’s up?”

  “I need some film and a favor.”

  “We’ve got film. What’s the favor?”

  Jolie told him about the field trip.

  “You want me to loan you cameras for Roxbury High School students?”

  Niles pondered the unusual request. “I trust you, and I certainly want to give amateur photographers a start, but the cameras aren’t mine to lend.”

  Her expression went flat with disappointment. “I know, it’s a lot to ask.” They stood facing each other.

  He studied her. Silence filled the store. “Can you have them back the same day?”r />
  “Yes! I can, I will. This Saturday. I’ll have them back by closing. Thank you. You won’t be sorry. I’ll show you their work once we get it all developed.” She gave him a quick hug. He blushed at her show of enthusiasm. “I’ll see you Saturday morning. I’ll buy the film then. I have to run or I’ll be late for work.” She dashed out of the store and down the block.

  After work, Jolie stopped at the office to mimeograph the field trip homework. Will, Charlie, and some of the student volunteers were there. Jolie greeted everyone and went to work on the mimeograph. The ink ran on the paper, making an inky black mess after being tipped over in the raid. She dismantled and cleaned the machine, her hands stained with ink. After refilling the fluids, she finally got a clean run.

  Will came over. “What are you working on?”

  “The field trip with Daniel’s students. We’re on for Saturday. I’m printing their homework.”

  “You’re really going to waste your time on that?”

  Charlie and Adam turned to listen.

  “We’ve been planning it for weeks.”

  “Well, I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

  “Come with us. We’ve going to the Boston Common cemetery and Park Street Church.”

  “I don’t have time for that.”

  “We need one more adult. We’re responsible for the kids.”

  “Those kids are more street-smart than you could ever imagine,” Will said.

  “I know, that’s why we need to keep an eye on them. Come with us. Maybe you’ll convert one or two to the cause.”

  “No, not my thing,” Will said.

  “I’ll go,” Charlie said. “I could use a history lesson.”

  “Good,” Will said. “Make sure she comes back in one piece.”

  Adam looked at Will and then to Jolie. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll publish their photos, with their names, if they’re any good. But they have to create a caption with a revolutionary tie.”

  Jolie looked at him, stunned. “Really?” She wanted to dance and leap from room to room, but in the presence of the others, she maintained her composure. The students would get their photos printed in Central Underground Press.

  At home, she set the folder of homework sheets on the kitchen table and changed into darkroom clothes. She developed the contact sheet from the photos of the raid and a few prints from the camping trip. There was one of a reflection of the tall trees shimmering on the lake. She felt she was back at the lake. Her favorite was one of Will playing guitar at the campsite, sitting in the open side door of Old Blue. Will could look at the contact sheet later when he got home. He was working late on the story about the break in, checking facts from other presses that had been raided.

  She went into the kitchen to make dinner. Daniel sat at the table, reading the homework assignment.

  “You crack me up,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” A wave of self-doubt flooded her. Was it too basic for high school juniors?

  “I mean, you made it fun. This will keep them busy, thanks.”

  “Charlie is joining us, along with Leah. And guess what? Adam will print their photos in the press if they’re any good.”

  “Wow, wait till the kids hear that.”

  “We have four cameras. Yours, mine, and two from the camera store.”

  Daniel’s eyebrows arched in amazement. “You’re full of surprises.”

  She grimaced inwardly. If he only knew.

  Saturday morning, Jolie picked up the two cameras and bought eight rolls of film with the money Daniel insisted she take. Charlie and Daniel were waiting for her when she got back to the house. They loaded all of the cameras with film and preset the apertures. There wasn’t time to teach the students about exposure settings. When they got off the T at Park Street Station, Leah stood near a small group of kids.

  “Mr. Shapiro,” the kids called to Daniel as soon as he came up the subway steps. The kids were early. The idea of getting published in Central Underground Press had created a buzz and now twelve students had signed up for the field trip.

  Daniel greeted the kids, said hi to Leah, and then he checked off their names while they waited for a few others. When they all had arrived, Daniel introduced everyone and then split them up into groups and gave a quick orientation to the cameras.

  “Hold still, focus on your subject, press the shutter down, then advance the film.” He gave them the rules for the photo publication and instructed them to stick together with their leader.

  While he was talking, Jolie studied the group of boys and girls. All were black except for two Hispanics. In the fall they would be juniors in high school. It suddenly dawned on her that they were the same age. She hadn’t interacted with kids her age since she’d left home. They looked so young and carefree. It was hard to relate to their youth. She felt so much older. Jolie took their picture as they stood listening to Daniel.

  Jolie gave Charlie, Leah, and Daniel paper to record the students’ names by the photo number. It was going to be a challenge keeping them straight. And then they were off. Every group wanted to start at the Granary Burial Ground.

  Jolie’s group had two boys and two girls. They bantered with each other as they walked.

  “Where’re you from, Miss Jolie?” the girl named Coretta asked.

  Brandy, the other girl jumped in. “Not from around here, I know that.”

  Jolie laughed. “California.”

  “California!” one of the boys said. “Dang, I’ve never been out of Boston.”

  “I went to New York once,” Brandy said.

  “I want to go to California,” Coretta said.

  In the cemetery, they looked for the names on their sheet, clamoring for the camera when they found one. Jolie stood in the shade of a tall elm tree with the two girls while the two boys traded off taking photos.

  “What’s that thing around your head,” Brandy asked.

  Jolie touched the sky-blue gossamer silk band with beads sewn in a vine pattern. “A headband. You can also wear it as a choker.” She untied it and then retied it around her neck.

  “Oh, I saw one of those chokers in a magazine,” Coretta said. “It’s cool.”

  “I made it. Can you sew beads?”

  “Yeah, we did a bead thing in home economics,” Coretta said.

  “But it was stupid,” Brandy said. “That’s cool.”

  “I have more of this material and I have some beads. I can sew you the bands if you sew on the beads. Every design should be different. I can send it all with Daniel.”

  The girls looked at her. “For how much?” Brandy asked.

  Jolie cocked her head and looked at the girls. “For nothing.”

  They eyed her cautiously. “Okay,” Coretta said.

  “What kind of beads do you like? I have glass beads, shell beads, African beads—’’

  “African,” they both blurted out at once.

  Jolie felt her headband. “They’ll look cool on this silk.”

  The guys returned and handed Jolie the camera. They were ready to move on.

  Three hours and many rolls of film later, they completed the assignment. Daniel bought everyone a cold drink at a concession stand. Throughout the day, she could tell the students liked Daniel by the way they kidded him. Jolie collected the cameras, labeled all of the film, and put everything in her backpack.

  “When can we see the photos?” one of the kids asked.

  “We’ll have the contact sheets ready in a few days, and you can pick your best photos for printing,” Daniel said.

  They watched the kids walk down the T station steps.

  “Do you think we should go with them?” Jolie asked.

  Daniel laughed. “They’ll be just fine.”

  Leah invited Daniel, Jolie, and Charlie back to her apartment. They walked the few
blocks to Beacon Hill. Inside, Leah offered them iced tea and poured pretzels in a bowl. Exhausted, they sank into the couch and chairs in the living room.

  “Jesus, Daniel. How do you do that all day? I’m spent and I only had three kids for a few hours,” Charlie said.

  “The kids are okay. The worst part for me is walking the three blocks from the subway to the school and back. It’s scary,” Daniel said.

  “They’re good kids, though,” Leah said.

  “Mine were really into it,” Jolie said. At her feet was the backpack with the cameras. Her fingers kneaded the straps. When they finished their tea, she stood. “I have to get these cameras back.”

  Sunday morning, Will went to the office to meet the professor. Daniel and Jolie developed the eight rolls of film. When they finished, she stepped out onto the back porch and took a deep breath of fresh air. She loved the darkroom, but the chemicals were acrid and biting in her nose and throat.

  Daniel came out and joined her. “Will sure puts in a lot of time at the office. You’re a revolutionary widow.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s his passion.”

  “Don’t you think he’s kind of obsessed with it?”

  “He is dedicated to the cause. Anyway, I have my own plans today. Ginger is picking me up later. We’re going to a Women’s Liberation meeting.”

  “You’re both obsessed,” Daniel said, smiling at her. “Does Leah go to those?”

  “Yes, and her roommate Sarah, too. We’re planning a women’s strike in August.”

  While Jolie waited for Ginger, she sewed the headbands for Brandy and Coretta. She opened her cigar box that held an assortment of loose beads and she selected the African beads that seemed to represent each girl. She put the headbands, beads, needles, and thread into two bags with their names on the outside.

  Jolie handed the bags to Daniel. “Can you give these to my girls?”

  He read the names. “Your girls? What is it?”