I reached down, prepared to stroke his cock with my own hands, but he stopped me, replacing mine with his own. With one swift undertaking he toyed with my entrance, gliding his stiffness over it. I nodded, silently letting him know that it’s what I desired. “Are you sure you want this? If you’d rather me hold you, I’ll do it.”
“Stop givin’ me choices. I told you what I want,” I whispered.
My body beckoned to be filled, and slowly it happened. Rusty never moved his lips far from mine as he started to enter me. I watched him closing his eyes, appearing to have been swept away by something he hadn’t felt in so long. I noticed him trembling even before he was fully inside. My arms wrapped around his back, as I prepared to keep him as close as possible. This wasn’t like a quickie, or just regular sex. I wanted to experience all of him; to share his pleasure, and his pain.
He leaned his forehead on mine, and stopping moving the lower part of his body as he spoke. “I’m sorry. I need to take my time with you, but I’m afraid I may not last that long. It’s been years since I’ve felt this.”
I reached my mouth to his and sucked on his bottom lip. It was easy to reciprocate my affections, knowing that I welcomed whatever he was offering. I didn’t care if he lasted ten seconds, or ten hours. I’d never experienced such emotion with sex, and knew it wasn’t all about intercourse. There was something deeper between us, and I felt it necessary to explore every aspect of it.
Our first encounter didn’t last very long. Rusty pulled out of me, refusing to finish inside, even though we both knew I couldn’t get pregnant from this encounter. However, hours later when we woke in each other’s arms, he wasn’t so concerned. He fulfilled me, taking me to heights, and then held me afterwards, placing sensual kisses over my body. The chemistry between us was undeniable, and I realized early on that this thing wasn’t going to end when we got home. Pregnant or not, Rusty wanted to be with me. We’d talked about it while lying naked together in bed. The comfort of his touch let me know that I didn’t have to be alone. Whether we were friends, or remained lovers, he wanted be around. In a perfect world I would have loved to go home and announce to everyone that we were going to be a couple. In that same world they’d accept us, and the fact that I was carrying my ex-boyfriend’s child.
I wasn’t living in that perfect world though.
As the sun rose I lie awake watching Rusty sleep. He seemed so peaceful, and I appreciated what we’d shared. It almost made me wonder how I was going to be able to see him every day, without anyone finding out that I’d be reminiscing on the night we’d shared. When the time was right I’d tell the family about the baby, but didn’t know how Rusty would fit into it all. They weren’t going to be happy with me, so I couldn’t spring both things on them, and expect acceptance. It literally wasn’t feasible.
A low snore came out of his mouth as he slept so close to me. I ran my fingers over his lips, smiling when he never opened his eyes. He seemed so peaceful, reminding me that I was the reason for it. It only made me feel worse, because I knew I’d have to give him up.
Since I’d planned on being off of work for an extra day anyway, I snuggled up closer to his hot body, and closed my eyes. In truth I knew I didn’t want to be anywhere else. Never in my adult life had I ever felt so comfortable before.
Things were much different on the ride home. Instead of refusing to speak to him, and keeping my distance, I sat in the middle seat, with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He let me sleep for most of the way, every once in a while kissing me on the head, reminding me of how sweet he was.
It killed me that he didn’t want anyone to know the real him, because he truly was a wonderful soul. His secret was safe with me, no matter how many obstacles it caused me to go through. In the upcoming months I’d need his friendship, so no one, especially my cousin, was going to be able to find out about us. Knowing that hurt me so much, because it also reminded me that our time like this was about to end.
I’d made my choice though, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.
Chapter 16
Rusty
It was funny how she felt like she was broken, but I was the one that needed all of the saving. Being with her, feeling her touch, it brought me back to life again. When we arrived back to Kentucky things didn’t go as I had assumed they would. It all started that first night when I stopped by to check on her. I’d dropped her off earlier to get her vehicle, and purposely took my time going back to the ranch so that we didn’t arrive at the same time. After checking in with Noah, and making sure that Titan, and my trailer, were all the way I left them, I snuck over to visit Isabella. I’d gone for a few hours without seeing her, and already was feeling as if it had been too long.
It was hard to not think about the night before, and how she’d finally been in my arms. I think I’d deprived myself for such a long amount of time that I’d forgotten how to control these types of emotions. I definitely wasn’t mad that they were happening. For so long I’d waited for her to notice me; to give me a chance to know her better.
I hadn’t expected that we’d end up in bed, but I’d given her plenty of time to reconsider the decision before going through with it.
I knocked on her front door, which was more hidden than the kitchen entrance. She answered and smiled, but I could tell from her body language that something was off. She didn’t make me wait long to figure it out.
She motioned her hand toward the living room furniture. “We need to talk.”
I sat down on the couch next to her, silently wondering if I should try to kiss her, or even hold her hand. When I reached for hers, she pulled it away. “Rusty, I can’t do this with you. There’s too much goin’ on in my life to be able to start somethin’ with you. What happened in that hotel room was –.”
“Perfect,” I interrupted.
“Don’t say that.”
She looked away, causing me to question the connection that I could have sworn we had. I reached for her arm, only to be rejected again. “What’s wrong? Is it something I said?”
“No!” Her alarming expression let me know that we definitely were not on the same page. “I can’t do this, okay?”
“But you and I…”
“There is no you and I, Rusty. There can’t be. I’m pregnant with another man’s child, and I can’t even begin to grasp what’s to come. I need to be able to make the right choices, and last night was obviously not the kind of choice an expectin’ mother should have made.”
“So what?” I was going to fight to prove my point. “You’re just going to deny this attraction, and pretend that last night didn’t happen at all?”
Isabella got up and walked into the kitchen. When I followed she leaned her hands against the kitchen counter facing the cabinets. I wanted to her to look me in the eyes as she let me down, but she refused. “I know what happened between us. That’s why this is so hard for me. We were both so emotional. Things happened because we were in a fragile state. I’m not goin’ to make it out to be somethin’ it never was. Last night two people came together to comfort each other. It wasn’t about attractions, or feelin’s.”
“You’re wrong. At least, that’s not what it was for me.” I couldn’t deny how hurt it made me feel when she said these kind of things to me. She was forgetting that I was in that room with her. I know what I was feeling was mutual. “You can sit there and act like this was a one-night stand, but we both know that ain’t true.”
“Please don’t do this.” She turned around and rubbed her eyes. “ Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
I walked over and put my arms around her waist, waiting to see those eyes looking up at me. This wasn’t just a fight to change her mind, it was also my happiness hanging by a thread. While waiting, I brushed the long blonde hair away from her cheek. Slowly, she raised her head and looked at me with tears falling down. I let my lips come down, almost to where they brushed over hers. “I want to -.”
Before I could finish t
he door was flying open and I was being shoved across the kitchen. Noah looked from me to Isabella. “What the fuck? He pointed toward me. “I told you to steer clear of my cousin, didn’t I?”
I threw my hands up, trying hard to defend myself. “I-.”
“He was just leavin’,” Isabella announced.
I didn’t know how to react. My job wasn’t more important than finishing our conversation, but she’d ended it for me.
“You heard her. Get out, before I say somethin’ I might regret.” Noah was my boss, and I had to be respectful since this ranch belonged to his family.
I turned to Isabella, noticing right away how hurt she seemed. Her forehead was creased, and one hand was over her mouth. I nodded to her and walked out of the house. Even when I made it onto the long lane I could hear him yelling at her. As sorrowful as it was, I knew I had to keep walking. She’d pushed me away, and he’d made sure I’d gone.
For the first time in forever I wanted a drink, so that I could numb myself from feeling anything at all. I’d opened my heart to her, and showed her a part of me that I’d kept hidden. In the end it had only gotten me exactly back where I started.
Alone.
There was no use tryin’ to avoid Noah, when I knew his next move was to locate me and let me have it. I took a quick shower, and sat down at my kitchen table waiting for him to arrive. When he entered it was without a friendly knock. He could do it that way because he owned the place. The chair across from me made a loud screech as it was being pulled out to allow him room to sit down. He cleared his throat before beginning. “I want you to be straight with me, Rusty. What’s goin’ on with you and my cousin?”
I considered telling him everything, even about the life I’d given up. “It was nothing. I was simply inviting her to share a meal with me and I crossed a line. I’m sorry, boss. It won’t happen again.”
Some guys my age would have had a problem dealing with a younger boss. At the end of the day it wasn’t Noah that I had to answer to, well not completely. His father still ran the show. “Listen, I’m not tryin’ to be some hard ass. I get that you think she’s pretty, and you’d like to get to know her more. I’ve seen and heard it all before.”
I put my hand up in the air. “Noah, I wont go near her, okay? It was a mistake.” The lies were piling up. Every second with Isabella wasn’t a mistake. I only wish I had the strength to tell him how I really felt about his cousin. “I meant nothing by it. I just figured we could enjoy a meal with conversation instead of eating alone. That’s all it was.”
He raised his brow for a moment like he didn’t believe me. When I didn’t flinch, he finally calmed. “Whatever. If you need company than get a dog.”
“You really care about your cousin. I can appreciate the way you’re always looking out for her. If I had a cousin I think I’d be the same way.” I was trying to get back on his good side. There was no telling how long Noah had been watching us, but from what I gathered it hadn’t been long. If anything he saw us standing face to face, and from the angle of the kitchen door he wouldn’t have been able to tell if we were close enough to kiss or not. Plus I think if he’d had seen that he would have come after me and things would have gone from bad to worse.
Instead he was being cordial, calm almost.
“I’ve been raised like that, Rusty. Family is the most important thing in life. I don’t know much about you, or your upbrinin’, but it’s just how ours is.” He stood up and tapped the table with his hands. “You do a lot for me and my dad, and we appreciate it. I’d like to keep you around for a while.”
He was warning me. I supposed I should have taken heed, but instead I felt offended. Perhaps if he heard my story he’d back off. At any rate I knew I had to keep calm and let him leave in a good mood. I liked living on the ranch, and there was no way I was willing to give up being able to see Isabella everyday. If I had to go back to being a creepy stalker to get her attention that’s what I was going to do.
Chapter 17
Isabella
It was extremely difficult looking into my cousin’s eyes and telling him that there was nothing going on between Rusty and I. It was even harder lying to myself about it. In my head I knew that being alone was the right decision, yet my heart ached to feel that attention he’d given me.
As the weeks passed, I felt even more regret when it came to pushing Rusty away. He consumed my thoughts, and left me in a state of depression knowing that it wouldn’t happen again. Exactly one month after I slept with him, I’d woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning and decided that I wanted to work outside in my little garden. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a bunch of marigolds and some hastes, that were definitely in need of some pruning. Every day my little belly seemed to be getting bigger, but that could have just been my imagination. At any rate, I put on a baggy t-shirt and headed outside into the breezy morning sunshine. I’d been down on my knees for a good thirty minutes when I realized that my back was feeling stiff, so I stood up to stretch, and noticed Shalan and Noah riding horses towards the tree line. In that instant I don’t know what got into me. Before I even thought to wash off my dirt-filled hands, I was walking toward the stables with one thing on my mind. After countless hours of lying awake at night, and even more daydreaming at my job, I knew I had to see him again. I felt like if I just gave myself a couple of minutes to be around him, I’d be able to focus on my life again.
It would have been better if I’d found him shoveling large piles of manure, or bailing some hay. Instead I walked into to find him pouring a bottle of water down his bare chest. All I could do was stand there and watch, as if it were in slow motion. Even only having been with him for one night it was hard to not picture my hands on his skin, and the way he’d touched me over and over again. I licked my lips, and tried my best to slow down to rapid breathing. It was no use. As I stood there spying on the man who should steer clear of me and my problems, I knew one thing for sure.
I had to make my presence known.
After crossing my arms and leaning against the old wooden door, I cleared my throat. Rusty looked up, tossing the bottle in the trash can to the side. “Iz, what are you doing here?”
I didn’t move from where I was standing. “I needed to see you.”
“Is something wrong?” He immediately started to walk in my direction. My arms dropped to my sides, but my feet never left where they stood.
My teeth drug over my bottle lip while contemplating how I should answer. “Maybe.”
His strong hands grasped both of my arms, holding them while his eyes focused on mine. “What is it?”
“Just kiss me.”
His lips were on mine so quickly that I barely had time to take a breath. His mouth, that I’d been so perplexed over before, placed gentle kisses all over my lips and cheeks. Our mouths clashed together again, this time allowing our tongues to dance in a harmonious pattern. I could feel my heart beating rapidly as my clammy hands reached up to touch that bare, sweaty chest for the first time. His skin, so hot and sticky, was just as rock hard as I’d recalled it to be. From the moment my fingertips coursed over his smooth skin, a fire ignited between my legs. The burning desire that I felt for this man was only being heightened, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to stop myself until I had everything I wanted from him.
After a few moments of reconciliation, Rusty picked me up and carried me into a stall filled with hay. He stood me up and grabbed an old horse blanket to lay out over the pile. I didn’t wait for him to motion for me to lay on it. I already knew what was about to happen, and I didn’t care if we were outside, or in the open so that anyone could walk in us. The only thing running through my mind was being able to be satisfied by this beautiful man.
Before Rusty laid down beside me, I lifted off my top. He leaned forward to lay me down with such ease that it felt like I’d floated back. Our lips met again, this time honing in on the focus at hand. I let my foot lift up until it stroked over his growing erection. My need to
removed his fitting jeans had become very apparent.
Rusty lifted his body. His boots came off first, while never taking his eyes off of me. While he worked on himself, I removed my bra and fell back down on the thick blanket for comfort.
I watched his belt buckle unclasp as he proceeded in dropping the denim he had on, to the floor. From that moment I knew there was no turning back. The intent in his eyes let me know we were on the same page, and as he crouched down to be close to me, I knew that he was going to make me regret ever pushing him away.
Rusty smiled as his lips came down over mine. His slow, passionate kisses filled my body with such anticipation. I longed for his touch, and soon got a lot more than I could have bargained for. He pulled a piece hay out from the large stack beneath us, while leaning up on his elbow. At first he drug it over my lips, causing them to part. The dried plant skated across my chin as it slowly brushed the tip of my ear lobe. The tickling sensations overwhelmed my skin, sending chills all the way down to my toes. My nipples hardened even before the tip of that hay was being circled around them. One at a time he traced those sensitive buds, causing me to moan out little cries of sheer bliss.
I could feel myself becoming soaked with expectation. Rusty wasn’t just teasing me. He was deliberately memorizing every inch of my skin, while giving me pleasure as he did so. This wasn’t like our first encounter, as neither of us were over emotional. Our drive to be together was fueled by need.
When that long stem ran across my abdomen my body began to shiver. Rusty, still focused on watching my reactions, leaned down and kissed it tenderly. I touched his hair and smiled, knowing it was meant to comfort me in my obvious condition.
Isabella Page 11
