She jumped. “Oh my God. You scared the shit out of me. What the hell are you doin’ in my house? You need to leave, Rusty. Is there a vehicle outside? We’re goin’ to get caught.”
“I walked. Relax. Nobody saw me.” All I could do was stand there staring at that gorgeous body that I wanted to devour. My eyes showed her the exact reason for my visit, and it didn’t take her long at all to decide what she was going to do about it.
Her gaze stayed focused on mine, as she took my hand. I was so shocked at what was happening that I didn’t notice her pulling me in the water until it was too late.
I kissed her sweet lips before saying anything else, or arguing with her about being fully clothed. As the water soaked all of the fabric, I stood there, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist.
“So nobody knows you’re here?” She needed extra confirmation.
My head moved from side to side, while I studied her reaction. From the shit-eating grin, I already knew she wasn’t going to ask me to leave. “Nope. The kitchen door is locked and we’re all alone.”
Her fingernails trailed over my wet shirt. “You shouldn’t be here, Rusty.” I let her lift the fabric over my head, then watched as she unbuttoned my jeans, and started the task of pulling them down. They clung to my legs, but Isabella got them off with ease, probably because she had motive. I could feel her own hunger radiating off of that glistening body.
I reacted, pressing her against the cold shower wall, and ducking down to savor her sweet pussy again. The flavor was disguised by the rapid amount of water running over her skin, not that I cared much. My idea was to give her pleasure, before taking some for myself. It was my motto; never being selfish for sexual gain. Although one could describe this moment as exactly that. I’d come for one reason, and she was giving it to me without a fight.
I pulled my face away, only to finally answer her question. “I can’t get enough of you. I need more.”
With no warning I lifted her up, waiting for her legs to wrap around my back. She welcomed my kisses, and accepted all of me as I entered her. The sheer pleasure of being inside of her overwhelmed me again. I buried my head in between her breasts, pushing her with my body, so that I could run one hand over her hardened nipples. This beautiful woman had finally let me in. I couldn’t get enough, and it was hard to control. I wanted to be lost in her, completely, with no concern for anyone else. We were two consenting adults, sharing a connection that was only natural. I’d waited for this woman to notice me, and now that it had happened, I wasn’t willing to give it up.
After a few moments of straining to hold her up and do all of the things I wanted to do to her, I soon realized that it would be better if we continued on her bed. Carefully, I carried her wet body out of the bathroom and placed her down on the comforter on her mattress. She pulled me along with her, allowing me to savor her sweet lips.
I took my time, never caring about where I wasn’t supposed to be. Nothing else was more important than remaining in bed with this woman, who’d gracefully helped me to begin to heal.
Each encounter we were learning more about each other, like the way she enjoyed being tickled just under her chin, or the way she responded when I kissed the lobe of her ear. I loved the way she laughed, and how she made little moan sounds when I gave her pleasure.
After spending a good hour in her bed, I let her know that I wouldn’t be able to stop visiting her. I put my wet clothes back on, and kissed her goodbye, knowing that I’d have to head back to the trailer to change into dry clothes, before I could even settle in for the night.
It was difficult walking out that door, knowing she was still in bed naked. The annoying wet clothes left a smile on my face as I traveled back to my place, because I knew the reason they were still soaked was worth any lost amount of time.
That night it was hard to stay focused on anything. She was so close, yet unreachable in a sense. If I could only convince Noah that I wasn’t a threat to his family, maybe he could get past his having to protect his cousin from me.
There had to be a way to get into his good graces, and I was determined to make it happen.
She was passed her first trimester, and we both knew that soon she’d have to tell everyone about the baby. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I knew she wasn’t ready to hear that I wanted to be around and help her raise the baby. I’d thought a lot about it, and had made my mind up. Nothing brought me more happiness than being a father. I knew that nobody could ever replace Sydney, but at least I’d be able to feel that kind of love again.
With the upcoming nuptials of her cousin and his girlfriend, Isabella was on edge knowing that the family was coming in for a coed wedding shower. Her little belly was beginning to show, but she did a good job hiding it with baggy jackets, and sweatshirts. Since the weather was getting cooler in the evenings nobody would have questioned it. In fact, she probably could have gotten away with just saying she’d gained a few pounds, and they wouldn’t have known any different.
Still, after worrying about it for so long she was ready to come clean. She was too far along for anyone to even suggest that she not keep the child. Even before we became something more, I think I would have lost my shit if I heard someone talking about that in front of me.
On the afternoon before her parents were due to arrive, she came walking into the stable. I hadn’t spoken to her since I’d left her the night before. I could tell right away that something was bothering her. “What’s wrong?”
She just about fell into my welcoming arms. “I’m scared.”
I held her, while kissing the top of her head. “Don’t be. They love you, and they’ll love your child.”
“I hope you’re right.”
She looked up into my eyes, pulling away from me as she did it.
“It’s going to kill me to not hold you tonight. I know you’re going to be stressed.”
She turned and looked at me with such sad eyes. “If my brother’s weren’t comin’ it would be different. I would probably ask you to come over.”
“All you have to do is say the word. I’ll sneak in once they’re asleep if you want me to.”
Isabella pulled away further. Her indecisive grimace let me know she was more confused than ever. “This changes nothin’ you know. We’re just friends, Rusty.”
“I don’t give a shit what you label this. It’s something, and I’m not going to let you think you’re in this all by yourself. That’s what’s making it so hard. You’re doing this all alone. It ain’t right.”
“Just because I don’t want to be in a relationship with you doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I hope you know that.” She rubbed her belly and smiled. “The only reason I’m able to tell them is because I know I won’t be alone, even if they push me away.”
“We talked about this already. They won’t do that.”
“I hope you’re right. I just know my dad. He’s going to flip.”
I smiled, imagining what it would have been like to see Sydney grow up and tell me she was pregnant. A warm feeling of anguish hit me, and it was difficult to ignore. “You better get going. You wouldn’t want Noah to think something’s going on between us, when obviously it’s not.” It was cruel to put it out there like that, but I was fighting my own battles with my heart and couldn’t take anymore rejection.
I knew what had to be done, and was determined to make it happen. She’d never ask me to step in, and a part of me loved her for being independent like that, but another part of me longed for her to need me.
It had been so long since I’d felt this sort of connection. For weeks I’d spent every minute of every single day thinking about being close to her. The time we spent together was awakening, showing me that it was possible for me to move on. I had a reason to wake up every day and smile, and her name was Isabella Mitchell.
Knowing that I was about to be around her whole family, I prepared myself for what was to come. She was going to m
ake that announcement, and I could choose to stand there and let it all play out, or do something drastic to secure my place in her life.
My choice was always the right thing to do. I really didn’t have to think much about it at all. The time for being irrational and overthinking my decisions was long gone. If I wanted this second chance at happiness I was going to have to make sacrifices to have it.
Chapter 20
Isabella
Once again my mind was in a million places. The day had come that I was finally going to announce to the whole family that I was with child. I’d gotten through the first trimester, the morning sickness, the constant lethargy, and every other crappy symptom I suffered from so far. One thing that kept me from going insane was Rusty. He’d been there already for one pregnancy and knew just what I needed. He took care of me a much as I’d let him, and showed me what it was like to feel needed.
Yes, I said it.
I was admitting that there was something more between us than just sex. The more I fought with myself about it, the more I knew it to be the truth.
Of course, I refused to tell him, because I knew that my family couldn’t know about our relationship. It was one thing to tell them that I was carrying Tate’s child, but another story to tell them that I was in a sexual relationship with an older mysterious man. Besides, Noah had warned him to steer clear of me, so it only would put his job in jeopardy.
The other thing that bothered me was the fact that I was falling for a man who could never really love me. He’d lost his wife, and daughter, and been sure to let me know how much I reminded him of them. He’d been drawn to me because of that. In my heart I knew I’d never be able to accept never knowing if it was me he loved, or the connection that I had to his family.
After being with Tate, I needed someone that could give me their all, not just what they had left. Maybe it was selfish, but I had a child to think about, so settling wasn’t an option.
As much as I was falling for him, I knew what we had was only going to be temporary. I’d start to get huge, and if that didn’t scare him way, when the baby came it would change me. At some point he’d realize that I was nothing more than a reminder.
While biting off all of my fingernails, I heard a car pulling down the road. The motor shut off, and I prepared to be bombarded with hugs from someone in my family.
I heard my dad’s voice first, beckoning me from the kitchen. “IZZY!”
I got up off the couch and made sure the hoodie I was wearing covered my stomach. The first thing he noticed was my weight. I wrapped my arms around him and watched him pulled away and look at my face. “The last time I saw you, you were skin and bones. You look so healthy.”
I raised my brows and pretended to be totally offended. “Geesh, are you sayin’ I’m fat, daddy?”
“Never. You just look great, that’s all. I’m glad to see you put on a few pounds.”
My mom gave me this look, and I feared she could see right through my fake smile. She leaned forward and hugged me without addressing my weight. That was a big red flag, considering that she was always more vocal. “Your brothers drove themselves. Callie and Cammie came with them.”
“What about Josh?”
“He’s got football this weekend in Virginia. To be honest I’m surprised your brothers wanted to come. It’s not like they care about a wedding.” My dad was being stupid if he didn’t know the real reason.
I raised my brow and let out and air-filled laugh. “They like to drink, and they know it’s free here.”
“Probably,” he agreed. “I’ll kick their asses if they wreck another golf cart.”
“Yeah, get in line behind uncle Colt. He was pissed last time.”
My mom grabbed my arm to catch my attention. “Dad and I just wanted to stop by and see you first. I need to go help your aunt Van with dinner. We’ll see you in a bit, honey.”
I watched them leave, and out of the corner of my eye something was approaching the house. My brothers whipped around on the golf cart, pretending they were about to run into the porch. They both hopped off laughing, while climbing the steps with their small bags. “What’s up, sis?” Jax hugged me first and then waited for Jake to do the same thing.
“You look different,” Jake announced.
I pulled away and made sure my sweatshirt was protecting the bump in my belly. “My hair is longer.”
He shrugged and went inside, letting the obvious change in my appearance go without a second look. Jax pulled me to the side once we were in the kitchen. The serious scowl on his face let me know that I wasn’t going to appreciate what he was about to say. “You heard from your boy lately?”
“My boy?”
“Tate. Have you heard from him?”
I scrunched up my face and sat down at the table. “No. Why would you even ask me that?”
He laughed again, just as Jake came in. “I heard about it too, bro. His ass got shut down.”
“What are y’all talkin’ about?” As much as I didn’t want to hear the mention of his name, obviously I was curious.
“Mom ran into his parents at the salon. His mom said that he’d been in the hospital for an apparent suicide attempt. He drank drain cleaner. What kind of idiot does that shit?”
I swear that my heart stopped beating for a second. All of the hate that I’d felt for my cheating ex was gone. “Why would he do that?” It was sickening to even imagine.
Jake came over and grabbed my arm as he spoke. “Get this. You know that chick he was seeing behind your back?” He paused and waited for me to nod. “Apparently she found out he’d been cheating on her and broke up with him. I guess the dude couldn’t deal with it. I mean, one minute he’s planning a wedding with the chick, and the next it’s all gone. His mom said they’d been dating since elementary school or some shit. Then to add to that, he got in huge trouble at that new job. He showed up intoxicated, and tried to beat up his manager. They fired him that same day.”
I looked down at my hands and tried my hardest to not let my brothers see my anguish. I’d been the reason that Jenn had broken up with Tate. I’d caused her so much pain that she’d pushed him away. The worst part of that was knowing exactly what I was doing. This was no accident. Then to imagine how upset he was, it was almost too much to fathom. Then on top of it all, he’d lost his job as a direct result of this all playing out. “So he’s okay now?”
“Aside from being insane, yeah I guess. Did you know he was with this chick the whole time you were together? That is so fucked up.”
I cocked my head from side to side. “Not really. It wasn’t until the end of us seeing each other.”
“Well like he said, it’s fucked up. We would have beat his ass sooner if we knew about that,” Jax added.
I knew I had to call Tate. Against my better judgment, I had to reach out to him. Guilt was already eating away at me. I’d taken everything away from him out of anger. Now he’d lost it all, and wanted to end his life. As angry as I was at what he’d done to me, I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was carrying his child and did nothing to make it better. “That’s terrible. I haven’t heard anything. I’ve been workin’ a ton, and busy with life here. It sucks for him, but he made his choices.” It hurt me to lie through my teeth. “Listen guys, I really need to get ready. Do you mind givin’ me some privacy?”
As soon as they agreed, I rushed into my room, closing the door behind me. To prevent them from hearing me, I turned on my music and sat inside of my closet. With shaky hands I dialed his number that I’d never been able to forget.
He picked up after two rings. “Bella?”
“Hi, Tate. It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, it has.”
The line was silent. I knew we both had hard feelings.
Since I didn’t want to bring up my brothers, I came up with another way to let him know that I was aware of his situation. “Listen, my mom’s here and she told me that you weren’t doin’ so good. Is it true? Did you try to
end your life?” I could feel the burn in my throat starting and knew my emotions were a reaction to imagining him dead. No matter how much I tried to hate him, something so serious reminded me of all the reasons that I loved him in the first place.
“Yeah. If you’re calling to scream at me, don’t bother. You’re the one who got me into this mess. I was going to be a good husband. She broke up with me, ended our engagement and it’s all your fault. Nothing you say to me right now is going to change that. You ruined my life. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” I cried. “I’m so sorry, but you’re the one who cheated. I feel bad for what’s happened to you, but it’s not all my fault. You drove me to that extreme.”
“Don’t bother apologizing to me. There’s nothing you can say to give me back my life. Just lose my number. I can’t deal with hearing from you, Bella. No matter how much I cared about you, I can’t bring myself to ever forgive what’s been done. It was bad enough losing you, but her too? Was it really that necessary to destroy me?”
“Wait,” I pleaded. “There’s somethin’ you need to know.” I was still bitter about Jenn, but he had a right to be angry with me.
“Goodbye.”
He hung up before I could bring myself to tell him the truth. I’m not saying that he didn’t deserve to get caught cheating. He’d hurt me, and obviously Jenn. To be cheated on was the ultimate kind of betrayal, and she deserved to know as much as I did. For years he’d strung us both along.
I stayed in my closet until I was finally able to accept what needed to be done.
After throwing on some clothes that looked presentable, I set out to reveal to my whole family that I was pregnant with Tate’s child.
Since the party was located at Noah’s parent’s house, located on the ranch, I took a golf cart and pulled into their yard. My younger cousins were conversing out on the porch. I scanned the surrounding area, scoping for Noah or Shalan. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rusty walking toward me. He carried flowers in his hand and smiled when I greeted him. “Hey, have I missed you today.”
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