by Amy Clipston
“This is going to be a huge mistake.” He shook his head and started for the door.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Downstairs to read my Bible and think,” he said.
“But it’s after nine,” she said.
“I’m not ready to sleep. You go ahead to bed,” he said.
She watched him disappear into the hallway and close the door behind him. Sighing, she climbed into bed. For the first time in their sixteen years of marriage, she was going to bed alone. Ironically, Kathryn’s plans for bringing the family together had seemed to tear David and her apart. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of the chasm she’d put between herself and her husband.
Shivering, she pulled the quilt up to her chin and closed her eyes, hoping somehow Christmas would turn out better than David expected.
CHAPTER 7
Anna Mae’s stomach fluttered as their burgundy Chevrolet Equinox took another winding hill. She gripped the door handle as more snow flurries peppered the windshield.
“You okay?” Kellan reached over and covered her hand with his warm palm.
“Don’t you think you should slow down?” she asked. “The snow is picking up.”
“We’re fine,” he said with a confident smile. “I know how to drive in snow. You forget I went to college in Maine. This is nothing compared to the blizzards I saw up there.”
“I hear it’s going to snow most of the week and may be pretty bad on Christmas.” Anna Mae turned to him. “Now, you remember that Amish Christmases are different from English Christmases. They don’t put up a tree or include Santa. They may do a little bit of decorating with poinsettias and candles, but you won’t see any Christmas lights. To the Amish, it’s more about family and Jesus’ birth, not Santa and gifts.”
Kellan nodded. “I remember that. You’ve explained it to me before.”
“And they have First Christmas and Second Christmas,” she reminisced. “In our family, we received our gifts on Christmas morning. My mother set up the table especially for the kids, and it was called the Christmas table. She put our names by each place setting and placed our gifts on the plate. We visited our extended family on Second Christmas, which was the twenty-sixth, and shared a huge meal. It was so much fun playing with all of our cousins. My grandparents would give each of us a little gift, like candy.”
“Sounds like a lot of visiting,” Kellan commented.
Kathryn laughed. “Since Amish families are so large, they have lots of get-togethers. Some have their Christmas dinners as early as Thanksgiving.” She shifted in the seat and a sharp pain radiated through her abdomen, causing her to suck in a breath.
“Are you all right?” Kellan’s voice was full of alarm.
Anna Mae took short, quick breaths until the discomfort subsided. “I’m fine. Thank you.” She heaved a sigh of relief. “It’s gone now. No worries.” She smiled, in spite of his distressed expression.
“I was concerned about your traveling this close to the due date,” he said, his eyes trained on the road. “The doctor said the risk of preterm labor or complications goes up after week thirty.”
Anna Mae rubbed her abdomen. “Yes, but she gave us permission to go on this trip since we’re within ninety miles of her office. We’re only about eighty miles from home, so if something should happen, we can get back to the hospital quickly. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
He negotiated another sharp turn. “Promise me that you’ll tell me if you start feeling different or if the pain becomes more frequent. I’ll get you to Lancaster General in the blink of an eye.”
She settled back in the seat. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary, but I promise I will. I think Butterbean has several weeks before she decides to make her entrance into the world.”
The SUV rounded another corner and a brick colonial home came into view. A large sign with the words “Paradise Bed & Breakfast” stood by the sweeping enclosed porch facing the road. A cobblestone pathway led from the sidewalk to the front door. White Christmas lights outlined the home, and a tree decorated with silver and blue ornaments and white lights sat by a large window in the enclosed porch.
Kellan steered into the gravel parking area next to the house and nosed the SUV up to the wall. “Here we are,” he said. “It was nice of them to agree to an early check-in. We’ll get rid of our luggage and then we can do whatever you’d like. This is your trip, Annie.”
He climbed from the truck and then came around to her side of the vehicle. Opening her door, he offered his hand.
“I’m fine,” she said, struggling to hoist herself from the seat.
“Are you?” He laughed and took her hand. Lifting her up, he smirked. “Now you’re fine.”
She gave him a mock glare. “I could’ve done it myself.”
“And how long would that have taken you? I don’t have that kind of time. The reservation is only for three nights.” His grin was wicked.
“Ha, ha,” she muttered. Glancing down, she spotted her purse on the floorboard of the SUV and swallowed a groan.
“I’ll get it.” He handed her the purse, then kissed her cheek. “Go on inside. I’ll get the bags.”
Anna Mae schlepped up the cobblestone path, silently wishing she’d worn her boots instead of these stupid, uncomfortable loafers that had become too tight in the last week. It seemed everything was too tight, even her maternity clothes. She quickly changed her mind about her due date and hoped Butterbean would make his or her appearance soon. However, she did hope it wasn’t too soon.
The tiny flakes of snow kissed her warm cheeks, and she inhaled the moist air. It smelled like home. She smiled to herself. Three years had been too long to stay away.
Kellan weaved past her with a bag over his shoulder and a suitcase trailing behind him, the wheels scraping the cobblestones. He held the door open, and Anna Mae stepped into a hallway lined with a steep staircase, loveseat, and bookshelves. Kellan directed Anna Mae to the loveseat and set the luggage down next to her before stepping into the kitchen and greeting the bed and breakfast owners.
The older couple led Kellan and Anna Mae to a large bedroom located off the hallway, and Anna Mae was thankful to not have to climb the long staircase.
While Anna Mae freshened up, Kellan brought in the rest of their luggage. Once they were settled in the room, Kellan took Anna Mae’s hand and led her back to the SUV, where he helped her climb in.
Kellan hopped into the driver’s seat and fastened his safety belt. “So, where are we going?” he asked, turning the key and bringing the engine back to life with a purr.
“Let’s head toward Bird-in-Hand,” she said, her heart thumping at the thought.
He grinned. “To the site where I first laid eyes on your beautiful face?”
She nodded.
“I still remember the way.” He put the SUV in reverse and backed out of the parking space. He then steered it toward the main road.
They rode in silence with the only sound coming from the quiet hum of the engine, the occasional whisper of windshield wipers clearing away the flurries, and the Christmas music singing softly through the speakers.
Anna Mae stared out the window while memories danced through her mind. Excitement and anxiety coursed through her while they drove.
As they turned onto Gibbons Road, her heart raced. Soon she would see her sister-in-law for the first time in three years. Would their reunion be as wonderful as she’d dreamed? What if Anna Mae felt awkward and out of place? What if they had nothing to discuss and they merely stood in silence, studying each other and thinking of how different they had become?
She said a silent prayer that her family would welcome her and be happy to see her.
Kellan’s warm hand covered hers. “It’ll be fine, Annie. They’ll be so happy to see you that they’ll all cry. You’ll see.”
She squeezed his hand. “You always seem to read my mind.”
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “That’s my job, dea
r.” He nodded toward the windshield. “Here we are.”
Anna Mae’s stomach flip-flopped as they pulled into the parking lot of the bakery. It looked just as she remembered. The large white clapboard farmhouse sat near the road and included a sweeping wraparound porch. A sign with “Kauff-man Amish Bakery” in old-fashioned letters hung above the door.
Out behind the building was a fenced-in play area where in the warmer months the Kauffman grandchildren would run around, play tag, and climb on a huge wooden swing set. Beyond it was a fenced pasture dotted with patches of snow. A few of the large Kauffman family farmhouses and barns were set back beyond the pasture. The dirt road leading to the other homes was roped off with a sign declaring “Private Property—No Trespassing.”
A large paved parking lot sat adjacent to the building. Kellan steered the SUV into a parking space near the entrance of the bakery and put the truck in park. He then pulled the keys from the ignition and faced Anna Mae.
“Ready?” he asked.
Anna Mae sucked in a deep breath, her heart pounding against her ribcage. “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” She gripped the door handle.
“Hey.” Kellan touched her shoulder, and she faced him. “Don’t forget what I told you before we came here. No matter what happens with your family, I’ll always love you. What matters is that we have each other.” He touched her belly. “We’re a family whether your father accepts you back or not.”
She touched his face. “Thank you for bringing me here. I couldn’t do it without you.”
He kissed her hand. “You’re stronger than you think, Annie.” He squeezed her hand. “Let’s go in. I’m sure the Kauffmans are anxious to see you.”
Anna Mae grasped Kellan’s hand as they made their way through the swirling snow flurries to the front door of the bakery.
Her pulse quickened when he opened the door, and the little bell chimed, announcing their arrival. She breathed in the delicious scents of freshly baked bread and chocolate. She glanced around the bakery, which looked just as it had three years ago, with the long counter filled with pastries and the array of shelves and displays packed with Amish Country souvenirs. A half-dozen small tables, each with four chairs, sat by the window, welcoming tourists to sit and enjoy their pastries.
She spotted Kathryn, Elizabeth, and a pretty teenager who resembled Kathryn standing by the counter.
“Anna Mae!” Kathryn cried, meeting her gaze. Kathryn looked exactly as Anna Mae recalled. She had the same golden blonde hair pulled tight in a bun under her prayer covering. Her eyes were still a deep shade of powder blue, and her skin was as clear and porcelain as a doll. She rushed across the bakery with her mother and the girl in tow and engulfed Anna Mae in her arms.
Anna Mae held onto her sister-in-law as tears spilled from her eyes. She inhaled Kathryn’s scent—lilac mixed with cinnamon—and smiled.
Stepping back from the hug, Kathryn studied Anna Mae. “Let me look at you. You’re still schee.” She gestured to Anna Mae’s stomach. “You look wunderbaar!” She turned to Elizabeth. “Mamm, doesn’t she look lovely?”
The three women began prattling away in Pennsylvania Dietsch, and Anna Mae looked between them, trying to resurrect her fluency. The words clicked through her mind, and she suddenly felt as if she’d never left. Her first language fit like her favorite winter gloves. She answered in Dietsch their questions about how her trip had gone.
Anna Mae looked at the girl. “Amanda,” she said. “You’re so schee. You look just like your mamm!”
“Danki,” Amanda said.
Anna Mae took Kellan’s hand and pulled him to her side. “You’ll have to speak English for Kellan. We don’t speak Dietsch at home.”
Kathryn and Elizabeth exchanged smiles.
Anna Mae nodded toward them. “Kellan, you remember Kathryn, Elizabeth, and Amanda, right?”
He shook their hands. “It’s so good to see you again. You all look well.”
Elizabeth smiled. “I can tell you’re taking good care of Anna Mae. Thank you.”
Anna Mae hugged Elizabeth and then Amanda.
“You’re all grown up,” Anna Mae said to Amanda. “I bet you don’t even remember me.”
“Of course I remember you, Aenti Anna Mae,” her niece said. “You’re the aenti who used to play dolls with me when I stayed at grossmammi’s house.”
“That’s right.” Anna Mae touched her shoulder. “I’m glad you remember that.”
“Let’s all sit down and visit.” Elizabeth pointed toward a table with chairs on the other side of the bakery. “Amanda and I will grab some drinks and snacks.”
Looping her arm around Anna Mae’s shoulders, Kathryn steered her toward the table. “Does the bakery look the same to you?”
“Oh yes,” Anna Mae said, scanning the shelves of pastries and mementos. “I feel as if I never left.”
“Do you miss it?” Kellan asked.
Anna Mae shrugged. “It’s hard to say. I do, but I don’t. I don’t regret leaving, but I do miss my family.” She smiled up at Kathryn, who squeezed her shoulder.
“We miss you too.” She gestured toward the chairs. “Please sit. I want to hear all about the boppli. Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”
Anna Mae shook her head. “No, we decided we want to be surprised. Kellan is sure we’re having a boy, but I think there’s a possibility it may be a girl.”
“When are you due?” Kathryn asked.
“January fifteen,” Anna Mae said, sinking into the chair. “But some days it feels sooner.”
“Oh?” Kathryn raised her eyebrows. “Was it smart for you to travel so close to your due date?”
“See?” Kellan tapped the table. “I’m not the only one who is concerned about you, Annie.”
Anna Mae frowned at Kathryn. “Don’t encourage him. He worries too much.”
“That’s my job.” Kellan slipped off his coat. “Do you need help taking off your wrap?”
“No, I’m fine, thank you.” Anna Mae pulled off her cloak. “To answer your question, the doctor gave me permission to travel. I shouldn’t have any problems, and we’re only about eighty miles from home. If something were to happen, we can get back to the hospital quickly.” She glanced at Kathryn, who was smiling. “What is it?”
“You’re glowing, Anna Mae.” Reaching over, Kathryn squeezed her hand. “You look so wunderbaar, so froh. Your mamm is going to be thrilled. Tell me all about your life in Baltimore.”
Anna Mae shared stories about the car dealership and her quilting ministry at church. Soon, Elizabeth and Amanda joined them with mugs of hot chocolate and cookies. Anna Mae enjoyed the warm cookies while Kathryn, Elizabeth, and Amanda filled Anna Mae and Kellan in on the latest community news.
When Anna Mae yawned, Kellan rubbed her shoulder. “I think you’ve had too much excitement. We should go back to the room, so you can rest before dinner.” He nodded toward her belly. “He needs his rest too, you know.”
Anna Mae shook her head. “You coddle me too much.”
“Enjoy it now,” Kathryn said with a laugh. “The focus will be on the baby once he’s here.”
“I’m sure that’s how it will be.” Anna Mae turned to Kellan. “A nap sounds like a wonderful idea. I am tired from the trip.”
“I hope you can still join us for dinner,” Kathryn said. “Tonight you can see our family before you visit with everyone else. David will be so anxious to see you, and the kinner are excited too.”
“Do David and the kinner know we’re here?” Anna Mae asked.
Amanda frowned. “He overheard my mamm and me talking about your visit Monday night. I didn’t mean for him to hear, but at the same time, I felt like he needed to know.”
“It’s okay.” Anna Mae smiled and then turned to Kathryn. “Is David okay with it? The visit, I mean.”
Kathryn gave a slight shrug. “He was upset at first when he found out I’d planned it without his consent. He’s concerned that your parents aren�
�t going to take it well, but I believe that this visit is going to heal some family wounds.” Reaching over, she touched Anna Mae’s hand. “I think it will go just fine.”
“Do my parents know we’re here?” Anna Mae asked, praying that they were happy if they did know.
Kathryn shook her head. “No, but my family and Vera know. Before we try to see the rest of the family, we thought it best that you see how things go with Daed first.”
“That’s a good plan, but I would like to try to see my sisters too.” Anna Mae turned to Kellan. “I guess we’ll head back to the bed and breakfast for now.”
“Sounds good.” He looked at Kathryn. “What time should we be at your house for supper?”
“Five o’clock.” Kathryn stood. “Does that sound gut?”
“Sounds fine. Can we bring anything?” he asked.
Kathryn waved off the question. “Don’t be silly. We’ll have plenty to eat. You just be sure Anna Mae takes a gut nap so she can enjoy our company.”
“I’ll get a good rest. Don’t you worry about that.” Anna took Kathryn’s hands in hers. “Thank you for everything. It’s so good to be here with you again. It’s been too long.”
“Ya, it has.” Kathryn hugged her. “I look forward to seeing you in a few hours.”
“Me too.” Anna Mae took Kellan’s hand and started for the door. “We’ll see you later.”
“You rest up now,” Kathryn called. “I don’t want you in the hospital while you’re here.”
“I will,” Anna Mae promised. Stepping outside, she noticed that the snow flurries had picked up.
Kellan hooked his arm into hers as they headed for the truck. “You better tell me if you get too tired out. I don’t want anything happening to you.”
“I’ll be fine.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me.”
That evening Anna Mae and Kellan walked up the front path toward David and Kathryn’s farmhouse. She grasped his hand and stopped him before they reached the door. “Let’s wait a minute before we go in.”
