She scratched the back of her head and sat down where she was on the carpet, sniffling back tears. “I did something stupid once and… I’m so sorry, Jake…”
“What was the ‘stupid’ thing? Maybe it’s time you finished your sentences with something other than ‘I’m sorry.’”
She dropped her gaze from his. She deserved that, absolutely.
“When we were young, Josie had this idea to make money,” she said, shaking her head at how it sounded. “She… she found an escort agency,” she paused, trying to gauge his reaction, unable to read his eyes. “She did a few jobs for them before telling me about it, telling me how good I’d be, how easy it was, how much money I could make. I needed money, Jake. My parents barely worked and the money they got from welfare they used to support their habits. Rent was somehow not a priority. Or food. I signed up too but I kept turning down jobs. I was too scared and I knew it was wrong. I knew what it was. I knew what I would be if I did it.
“Then one day, it was just a really bad day and I got a call and I said yes. I just said yes. When I changed my mind and called them back, they said they’d already booked me and if I didn’t go, I would have to pay them for the appointment. I didn’t have the money to do that and so I went. I thought maybe I could talk my way out of it, I don’t know. I just… I don’t know, I just went. That was the night I met Sean Connelly.”
“Did you fuck him?”
She shook her head. “No! I didn’t, I couldn’t. I… when he tried, I just, I couldn’t. He wouldn’t let me go though, not until I said the word rape. That was the only thing that made him stop. He was so angry and when he told me to go, I did. I got out of there as fast as I could. He had already paid me and I only realized I’d taken the money after I’d left. I paid it to the agency and took my share and I never took another call again.”
“So Connelly was going to blackmail you into fucking him.”
As horrible as his words sounded, they were true and she nodded. “I went with the envelope of money, I was going to return it to him. I told him it was a mistake and I was young and I begged him to leave us alone but when I tried to leave, he got crazy. He grabbed me and… well, you know the rest.”
Jake nodded. “This is what you came to tell me the other day, right?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know, we… I saw him there then I got sick thinking he had already told you and then when we went to the doctor and found out… I just couldn’t. I couldn’t. I’m sorry, Jake. I’m so sorry,” she said, rising to her feet and walking toward him.
“No.” He put a hand out to halt her. “Not right now, Meg,” he said, rising himself and putting more distance between them. He scratched his head and wouldn’t look at her. “I need to think.”
She felt her face contort into a silent sob as she nodded.
“Is there anything else you need to tell me because I’m pretty sure I don’t want another one of these sessions.”
“No, there’s nothing else. I promise.”
He nodded, still not looking at her. “I need to think,” he repeated. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door.
Chapter Eleven
Jake drove around town for three hours absorbing his wife’s words. He believed her, every word, and if he examined his feelings, it wasn’t anger he felt. Not toward her at least. Neither was it betrayal. The only thing he felt he needed to forgive her for was that she hadn’t come to him right away at the party. He took part of the blame for that. He was so wrapped up in his business, in this one deal, that he hadn’t left room for his wife. His now pregnant wife.
She was probably worried now, unsure of what he was thinking. Her secret was a terrible one—at least in her own mind. But as far as he saw it, she had been young, a kid, with absent parents and the wrong friends. He was glad she had come to the realization about the kind of non-friend Josie was on her own. In a way, this thing with Connelly brought it to a head.
Connelly, the bastard, would have raped his wife if he’d gotten there a minute too late. The thought scared him to death and at the same time infuriated him. But he needed a cool head to deal with the jerk and he’d do it now before going home to Megan.
The lights were still on at Connellys’ house. Jake parked the car on the street and walked up the long driveway and to the front door. He rang the bell, forcing himself to remain calm.
“Jake?” It was Tanya, Sean’s wife.
“Hi Tanya. Hope it’s not a bad time. I need a quick word with your husband.” He didn’t mind Tanya, actually didn’t give her much thought at all. And after tonight, he’d never have to see either one of them again.
“Sure, come in. He’s in his study working again.”
“Thanks,” he said, following her back.
“Sean?” she called, knocking on the study door. “You’ve got company.”
“I told you,” he said as she opened the door. “I don’t…” His eyes fell on Jake.
Jake’s mouth hardened into a tight line. At least he was glad for the bruises already appearing on Connelly’s swollen face.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” he said, casting a nervous glance toward his wife.
Jake had been doing some research the last few days and he’d learned one interesting fact about Sean Connelly. His money wasn’t his at all. It was Tanya’s. And tonight, Jake would use that little fact to his advantage.
“Come in,” he said, inviting Jake grudgingly into his office.
Jake walked around Tanya and into his office while Connelly gave the instruction not to be disturbed to his wife.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked once he had closed the door.
“I want you to know I know. Megan told me everything.”
“Good for her.”
“If it were up to me, you’d go to jail for what you almost did to her.”
He only stared at Jake, his expression blank, cold.
“Does Tanya know where you got those bruises from?”
“Don’t be stupid, Roark.”
“I’m here to tell you just one thing: you stay away from my wife and you stay away from me. I’ve already called Gray to tell him I’m turning down the bid.”
Connelly turned to pick up the whiskey that sat on his desk.
“If I would have told Gray what happened tonight, you’d be off the board, not to mention what would happen to your lifestyle were your wife to find out.”
“Are you threatening me?” he asked, taking a big sip.
“I guess I am. Stay away from what’s mine or I’ll fucking kill you, you son of a bitch.”
Sean opened his mouth but when Jake took a step toward him, he actually stepped back and shut it again.
“I mean it,” Jake said, giving him one more hard look just as the door opened and Tanya walked inside with cups of coffee. She didn’t even pause but began to prattle on about something, oblivious to the tension in the room.
“Coffee?” she offered, a strange smile pasted onto her face.
“I was just leaving,” he said. “I’ll see myself out.”
He didn’t even wait for a response from either of them. Instead, he walked out of the study and out of the house. He walked quickly to his car, anxious now to get back to Megan.
* * *
Megan stood at the window watching for Jake, her vision still blurry from crying. She had packed a duffel bag with a few things, still trying to decide what to do, whether she should go now before he threw her out.
Finally, she turned away from the window. She had already written a note and both her engagement and wedding rings lay on top of it. She picked up the bag she had packed and her purse, took one last look around and walked out to her car just as the garage door went up and the headlights of Jake’s car shone on her.
She wasn’t sure if she should feel relieved or afraid or what. Him telling her that he hated her—that would be the wor
st thing of all. Even if he did hate her, if she didn’t actually hear it, it would be easier for her. Even if she deserved it, she couldn’t take it if he said it out loud.
Jake pulled into the garage and parked his car. He climbed out and looked from her to the bag she held.
“What are you doing, Megan?” he asked.
“I’m leaving.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“I don’t know. Anna’s maybe.”
“And then what?”
“I don’t know,” she said, shivering in the cool night air.
He walked to her and took her bag.
“Go back inside,” he said.
“Jake…”
“Go, Megan. You’re going to catch a cold.”
“I can handle a cold.”
He stopped and looked at her. “All right, let me ask you this then. Do you think it would be fair of you, given what I’ve learned tonight, to just leave? To just walk away, be gone when I get home?”
“I just thought you’d want me gone. Now that you know the truth about me…”
“That’s enough!” He grabbed her arm and turned her, marching her inside. Once in the door, he dropped her bag to the floor. “It’s time you stopped feeling sorry for yourself. I have never judged you for where you came from. None of us get to choose our parents, Meg. You were unlucky, to say the least. You made some mistakes when you were a kid. Guess what? So has every kid. You think I haven’t?” he snorted. “Sean Connelly is the asshole here. He was going to blackmail you into having sex with him. What do you think he would have done after that? Let you be? You think he wouldn’t have come back for more, making your life a living hell? You’re naïve, Megan.”
“I wouldn’t have slept with him! I never intended to, not then and not now!”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Jake asked, his voice raised slightly.
That stopped her.
“Megan, that was a crappy thing to find out and the worst way to find it out, but I don’t hold it against you. What you did in the past, it’s not something you need to apologize to me for. The thing I don’t like is that you didn’t come to me straight away and instead let yourself get sick over the matter. Meg, what did you think I would do?”
“I don’t know, Jake. I…”
“Don’t you know me at all?”
“I do. I do. I just…” She turned away, walked a few steps then turned back to him. “I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want to lose you. I love you so much. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jake, and sometimes, I’m pretty sure you deserve way better, but I love you. I don’t want to disappoint you, I don’t want to lose you.”
He covered the space between them and pulled her into his arms. “The only thing that would have disappointed me is if I had come home and you had been gone. I love you Megan. I don’t care where you came from. I don’t care about things you did before you met me. I will absolutely hold you accountable for your actions now, but I won’t ever blame you or judge you and I could certainly never hate you for things that happened in the past.”
She stared up at him when he took her face into his hands.
“I love you. Get it through your thick, stubborn head. I love you and that’s that. That’s all.”
She laughed and cried at once, reaching to touch his face. “Jake.”
He glanced at the note on the table and reached for her rings. “Put these back on where they belong and you’d better never take them off again.”
He slid the rings onto her trembling finger. “I won’t, I promise.”
“I’m tired, Meg. Let’s go to bed. We can talk some more tomorrow but I’ve got a headache and I just want to hold you and our baby and just forget today.”
“Me too,” she said, nodding. They walked up the stairs and for the first night in a week, Megan slept through the night while Jake held her tight to him.
* * *
The next morning, the doorbell rang early. Jake was up, but Megan was still sleeping. He went downstairs and opened the door to find Gray Manson standing outside in the rain. Jake looked at him, surprised to see him.
“I’m getting soaked out here, Jake,” the man said.
“I’m sorry,” Jake said, stepping aside. “Come in.”
He stepped inside, closing his umbrella and taking off his raincoat. “Christ, rain won’t let up.”
“What are you doing here, Gray?” Jake asked.
Gray looked at him for a minute before they both turned to watch Megan come down the stairs, wrapping a robe around her. “Good morning,” she said to them.
“Did this stubborn husband of yours tell you what he did last night?” Gray asked.
She looked at Jake, confused.
“Come into the kitchen, let’s get some coffee,” Jake said.
“What happened?” Megan asked when he passed her.
Jake turned on the coffee machine as Gray took a seat at the table.
“He turned down the bid, that’s what!” Gray said. “What the hell are you thinking, Jake?” he asked.
“Jake?” Megan asked. “You got the bid?”
Now Gray looked from one to the other. Jake pushed the button on the coffee machine and they were all quiet while he made three cups of coffee and brought them over to the table.
“Sit down, Meg,” he said, taking a seat himself. “I’m sorry, Gray, my decision is final.”
“Well, I’m sorry too, Jake, but I don’t accept that, not without a hell of a good reason.”
Jake felt Megan’s hand on his arm. “Jake, you don’t have to turn it down. What happened…?”
“Is none of anyone’s business,” Jake said, not looking at either of them.
“Jake,” Gray said, leaning across the table. “You’re making a big mistake.”
Jake leaned back in his chair and set his coffee down. He exhaled a deep breath. “Gray, I appreciate your coming out here today. I appreciate all you’ve done for me, I know how much you helped with the others.” He took a sip of coffee, buying himself some time, before facing the man. “This involves my family now and I can’t work with a man like Sean Connelly on the board. I’m not going to go into specifics and I need you to respect our privacy. I’m sorry, Gray.”
Gray looked at Jake, then at Megan, then back. “Well, then you’ve got no excuse to turn it down because as of last night, Connelly is no longer a member of the board.”
Both Jake and Megan now looked at him.
Gray smiled. “I say good riddance to the son of a bitch,” Gray said, then looked at Megan. “Pardon my language, young lady.”
“What happened?” Jake asked.
“Well, just as you can’t go into specifics, neither can I, and I hope you’ll respect that. All I can say is he and his wife have decided to spend more time at their home in Florida and he won’t be a part of the project. That said, I firmly believe you’re the best man for the job.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Jake?” he asked. “What do you say?”
“Jake, you have to do it,” Megan said to him, her hand on his arm. “This is too important.”
He looked at Megan, then at Gray. “So he’s gone?”
“Yep.”
Jake nodded and smiled, patting Megan’s hand. “All right, Gray,” he said, standing and holding out his hand.
Gray stood and the men shook hands. “Congratulations, Jake.”
“Thank you, Gray,” Jake said. “For everything.”
Gray only nodded.
* * *
“You had turned down the project?” Megan asked when Jake came back into the kitchen after seeing Gray out.
Jake made himself another cup of coffee. “That can’t surprise you,” he said, leaning against the counter.
“Did you do something to him? Yesterday I mean, when you were gone.”
“I only told him to stay away from my family.”
She nodded, bringing the
now cold coffee to her lips, the silence heavy in the room. “Jake,” she began a moment later.
He looked at her, waiting for her to go on. She set her mug down on the table and turned to him.
“I think I want you to punish me.”
He dumped his freshly made coffee into the sink. “No, Meg. It’s not your fault. I chose to turn down the job. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“I think it has everything to do with me, Jake.”
He inhaled deeply and exhaled. “Well, it’s over now anyway. The project is mine.”
“Jake,” she stood and almost went to him. “I don’t want this to be us now. I don’t want us to not talk. I don’t want us to… I don’t want there to be anything between us.”
“Meg, the thing with Connelly,” he began, walking to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t blame you.”
“I know,” she said, reaching up to touch his face. “But I blame myself, at least a little. I want this gone; I want to just be back to us again before any of this happened. No, I want it to be even better, even more. Punish me Jake. I want you to.”
Jake looked at her but he didn’t quite meet her eyes. He brushed the hair back from her forehead. After a moment, he squeezed her shoulders tight. “You don’t have to do this,” he said.
“I know.”
“Go upstairs and get ready then,” he said. “Everything off and bent over the foot of the bed.”
Megan noted how his tone had changed. She almost smiled a little, but nodded instead and slipped out from beneath his arms and headed up to the bedroom. Once there, she made the bed which she’d not yet done, knowing that once this was over, it would be really over. She stripped off her robe and nightie, pushed her panties down and off and sat on the edge of the bed. She braided her hair down over one shoulder, very aware of every movement of her fingers, of every twisting of every lock of hair. She then took both pillows and stacked them on the foot of the bed and draped herself over them. She lay her torso down on the bed, her arms tucked underneath her, her hips raised high, her legs straight, standing on the balls of her feet. She waited like this for him, her every emotion level. This was different from other times in the study. She wasn’t nervous or anxious or dreading. And she certainly wasn’t aroused. She just simply waited for Jake to come.
Taming Megan Page 10
