“Make me feel better,” she mumbled as she kissed him. At least, he was sure he could do that one thing for her.
Chapter Twelve
SHANE LEFT ALLISON ASLEEP and snuck off to get his bike. He quickly made his way to the motel in town, hoping Patrick would still be there. It was early morning when he pounded on the door. Patrick answered the door, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt; he had pale, skinny legs. His eyes widened when he realized it was Shane knocking. He started to step back and shut it, but Shane said, “I’m sorry. About yesterday. Wait. Please, man. Hear me out.”
Patrick scowled at him, but held the door partially open. “What do you want?’
“I’m sorry. About yesterday. I didn’t know… about what happened. Can I buy you a coffee?” Shane pushed his hands into his jean pockets. He was wearing the same clothes as last night and his hair was messed up from spending the night with Allison. He needed a shower and some sleep. They made love three times. He’d been awake the rest of the night holding her. Thinking about her. And why he called it “making love” in his head. He never, ever used that term for it and wasn’t sure what to conclude from that fact. He was now thinking like that.
Patrick shut the door and came out a few minutes later, dressed quickly and casual. They grabbed coffee from a stand in the parking lot and sat down at picnic table. It promised to be sunny, but it was cool still outside.
He blew on the hot brew. “She told me about Gabrielle.”
Patrick winced and nodded. “Are you her boyfriend? Pardon me, but I just don’t see it.”
“I know,” Shane sighed. He felt depressed, thinking that would be everyone’s reaction, including Allison’s, to him. “I’m thinking about trying to, you know, appear more like you guys. Not so… so much.”
“I figured you for a bad mistake.”
“Might be that too,” Shane grumbled. “Look, I was a total ass. And you coming here to tell her and help her through the…” Shit! What should he call it? Birth date? Death date? They were the same fucking date. It hammered home again what these two had to endure.
“Yes. I know what you’re saying, Shane.”
“Yes, anyway. It was shitty of me, and I’m sorry. Really sorry. For all of it.”
Patrick eyed him. “Okay. Thank you. You didn’t have to come find me to say so.”
“You’re important to her. I get that now. I get why. If things go forward, she’ll want to see you. I didn’t want it to be awkward for her. Or for us.”
“What do you foresee happening?”
He understood Patrick’s suspicion. The way he came off, how noticeably different they were… and well, hell! He was the least likely boyfriend material for most any girl, but especially a woman who taught fifth grade.
“I just don’t want anything to be harder for her than it has to be. Not if I can do something to ease it. I was hoping you’d work with me here and give me a second chance. You’re important to her. I assume you’ll be back regularly to check on her.”
Patrick stared down at his coffee cup. Picking at the plastic lid, he admitted, “I love her. Still. Maybe not the way we started, but I will always love her. She suffered a lot, Shane. I just don’t want her to suffer anymore unnecessarily. So be careful with her. Please.”
“Did you move past it?” Shane asked spontaneously.
He glanced up, his eyebrows rising in surprise. “No. I mean, I learned how to function in the world after it happened. But no. It still hurts me.”
Shane nodded as silence fell between them. When they got up to leave, he put his hand out and so did Patrick. They shook hands and nodded in tacit understanding. “Take care of her, Shane. If you mean that.”
“I do. I will, and the same goes for you.”
Strangely, as he watched Patrick walk away, he saw his shoulders slump. Shane had a feeling it hurt him not only to talk about what happened but also letting Allison go. He felt a sick knot forming in his stomach. But he was sure he’d done the right thing. One less source of stress. He could get along with her ex. Now, he just had to convince Allison he could get along with her. Long term.
****
Shane was gone when she woke up for work the next morning. It was a strange feeling that seemed to flood her whole body: disappointment. Where would Shane be at six-thirty in the morning? She felt a little… used. Or vulnerable. And now he wasn’t there. She shook her head and swung her legs towards the floor. What did she expect? To be suddenly different for Shane just because she told him a sad story? He didn’t spend the night. He didn’t do relationships. She didn’t want him to either. She no longer really did relationships. Something felt hollow and empty this morning. Mostly, from the emotions of getting through Gabrielle’s birthday and seeing Patrick, and then Shane’s shocking appearance. And even more startling was how easily she could tell her story to him. He interjected using just the right tone of voice and just often enough. He held her. He let her cry. He was strangely… perfect.
So she knew what was wrong this morning. It was the same lingering sadness that affected most of her days. It was something she could not shake. But it wasn’t longing for a man whom she didn’t really know, or have any kind of lasting potential with.
Dissatisfied, annoyed, and with lingering anger, she got up and started to yet again prepare for another day. She’d go through all the motions until the end of it when she would sadly wonder what the hell the point was. She rarely felt much motivation. Or satisfaction. Or happiness. Or even interest. It was as if all the purpose and joy from her life were snuffed out into the darkness and silence that was all Gabrielle ever knew in her non-existent life.
Today, however, she would help Erin and that always pricked her interest. While there, she had a very good chance of running into Shane. She immediately banished that thought and reminded herself she was not interested in him. It would only cause awkward disappointment if she wished to see Shane. They had sex a few times, and he was extremely interested in her history. That was surprising if one judged him at first glance. But after spending so much time with him, she realized it wasn’t such a shock. He was very generous to the few he cared about.
Coming down the stairs, she stopped dead when she found Shane all dressed and standing in her kitchen. He was waiting for the toaster to pop up. She paused on the stairs, but he turned when he heard her. His smile was bright enough to light up all the dark corners that were usually considered her heart. “Morning, teacher. ‘Fraid I was going to have to come wake you up.”
She nearly scratched her head in confusion. He made her breakfast? He caught her almost dazed look as she slipped into the kitchen chair before he brought a plate with buttered toast on it. He freaking noticed what she ate every morning? She tilted her head and considered she really had to stop judging Shane by his appearance. Or his reputation. She just might have to start seeing him for who he was to her and with her.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. She glanced up at him. His kindness and the gesture made tears swim in her eyes.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Hey, you’re welcome, teacher. It’s nothin’.”
“It’s not nothing. Your being here, I mean.” No, it was something. She and everyone else had dismissed Shane for so long, even he didn’t have a clue how nice he could be.
He left and came back, pouring her some coffee before sitting down next to her.
“Don’t you want any?”
“Nah. I already had some.”
She smiled finally and he returned it with a small, sweet smile.
****
Shane left to work in the shop, but not before peppering several lingering kisses on her lips that soon had her insides coiling up with heat. He finally disentangled himself long enough to leave. She was just about to step out the door when Patrick showed up. She sighed, bracing herself for his inquiry about what the hell she was doing with the Neanderthal who appeared at dinner last night? How could she possibly explain he w
as really everything opposite of that?
“Hey, Patrick,” she said, opening up the door. He stepped in and kissed her cheek.
“How are you?”
“Surprisingly? I’m okay this morning.”
“Because of Shane?”
She physically stepped back with surprise. “Shane? I thought you’d be here, ready to completely ream my ass about him. I know he came off like a barbaric, jealous ass but—”
“He came to see me.”
She stopped talking, her mouth still open. “Wait? When? How? Why?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I think that’s how Shane’s actions are. Shocking and big. Anyway, first thing this morning, he woke me up by pounding on my motel room door. He wanted to apologize for how he acted. He wanted… hell, Allison, I think he was smoothing things over so it would be easier to date you.”
“No. We—we aren’t dating.”
“Are you sure about that? Have you informed him? He was contrite, and sorry about Gabrielle. He wanted to make sure I knew he’d never again pose a problem for me. He assumed I’d always be in the picture, correctly, of course. Because I will always check up on you.”
“He wanted to make nice with my ex?” Her eyebrows were jutting into her hairline. This was not what she expected. She thought Shane ducked out sometime in the night to avoid the morning after. Turns out he went to make things better for her with someone she cared about and then he came home and made her breakfast. She almost sat down from the shock of who Shane was becoming.
“I have no idea what to say. This—he is very new. I mean like days old. I don’t know. Anything. I don’t know what to say.”
Patrick grinned. “Sounds like you’d better figure that out pretty quick. I think the guy’s gone serious about you.”
No. There was just no way. She felt her breathing speed up. Dizziness start to sweep through her head. She had no idea what she thought, or felt about Shane… well, she didn’t even know what Shane was doing.
“He doesn’t look a thing like what I’d expect for you. But you know that already. And maybe that’s what you need,” Patrick said gently when she didn’t reply.
“Me? Need Shane?” There was no way she needed someone like Shane in her life.
“I don’t know, Allison. I just know what you’ve been doing to date hasn’t worked.” His voice was kind, but firm. Was he saying he approved of Shane? For her? It seemed a crazy thing to contemplate.
Patrick sat down for a few moments and they talked over what they should have talked over last night. Gabrielle. Sandy. His new baby. Patrick admitted his terror. They ended up hugging and Patrick left. She had only minutes to spare before class. Feeling unsettled, she left her house, locking it behind her. She twirled around to leave when a voice stopped her dead.
“He’ll never stick with you.”
Startled, Allison glanced over to find Celia standing by the hedge between their houses. Celia’s hair was uncombed and frizzing around her face. She wore a loose robe. Allison swallowed, feeling an unsettling case of nerves rise up at Celia’s rather creepy appearance. Had she been standing there for a long time, just waiting for her to come out? It left a strange, hollow feeling in Allison’s stomach.
Allison closed her eyes. It had been a busy morning and was barely eight o’clock. “Hello, Celia.”
She didn’t bother with any niceties. “He’ll fuck you and leave. Like always.”
“I honestly have no idea what to say. This just happened. I wasn’t after him. Swear to God, Celia. I wanted nothing to do with him.”
“Just warning you, teacher. You aren’t anything to him. No one is. He’s a cold bastard who doesn’t care he left me and my marriage in shambles.” He did that? Allison poked her tongue into her cheek to keep from responding. How could Celia blame Shane for that? He didn’t cheat. Or force Celia to cheat. She chose to. And as far as Allison knew, Jett still didn’t know. But Celia was obviously quite put-out when Shane stopped their ongoing affair.
“Yes, we can agree he’s made some questionable decisions in the past. But he’s not a cold bastard.” She could not let that go, and felt a strong compulsion to defend him. Not one time had he acted that way with her, or around her. Except for the Jett/Celia fiasco, he was decent, kind, and upstanding. He found her and convinced her to help Erin. He had no other reason to do that other than he cared.
“You’ll regret this. He will never change for you. Good luck with that train wreck, teacher.” Celia’s narrowed gaze and scowl sent a shiver of apprehension that almost turned to fear down Allison’s spine. This as in, sleeping with Shane? Or this as in, sleeping with Shane when Celia was not? She turned and fled to her car, more concerned about her neighbor and worried that too many seemed to know about her suddenly very much existent sex life.
Still, it was the first morning in perhaps years when she actually looked forward to leaving the house to go to work.
Chapter Thirteen
AFTER SCHOOL, ALLISON WENT to the ranch. She steered her car over the dirty road and parked at the front of the house. Jack was just walking towards the barn with their foreman, AJ. He raised a hand in greeting. She did the same with a grin before her entire neck, face and ears bloomed into a deep blush. Jack merely grinned wider and winked. She let out her breath. He knew, of course, what she’d been doing with Shane on their property, and seemed to be letting her off the hook. Relieved the confrontation was over and that Jack seemed completely amiable, she grabbed her stuff and approached the front steps. Erin opened the door as she was coming up the stairs.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” Erin smiled a shy, almost unsure greeting.
She wondered how long before Erin quit reacting to her as if she were there to tie her up and rob her. They entered and Allison found a bunch of boxes in the living room.
Erin waved at them. “Our house is done. We’ll be starting to move in this weekend.”
She gazed at Erin. “Is that a good thing?”
“It’s a very good thing. The boys and we have the first house off to the left; if you went down the south road towards the river. Ian’s building a house, but it won’t be done until this summer. The new cabins will open up for guests the first weekend in May. We’re terrified. But also very excited.”
Erin shrugged and a sweet, unsure, yet pride-filled smile blossomed over her face. “I’m supposed to offer horse rides. It… intimidates me. But I’m just happy to do something to help around here, besides the horse care.”
“I’ve seen your unparalleled competency with the horses. They picked you well. And I swear to you, someday you’ll manage all the appointments and guest scheduling, if you want to.”
She shook her head. “I don’t see that happening.”
“Oh, I do.” Allison smiled with complete confidence.
Erin glared at her, but Allison merely kept smiling until finally Erin smiled back. “I’ve never, not once, had anyone say such a thing to me.”
“Give me enough time, and I won’t be the only one.”
Tears shimmered in Erin’s eyes almost instantly. “I can’t imagine such a day,” she said and her tone was soft and sad.
“That’s why I’m here to make sure it happens. So… Monday, I go down to the new house?”
“Yes.”
“Will you miss living here?”
“Yes. But no. We need to be our own family, you know? And there is a lot of coming and going here. The guys have gotten much more respectful now that I live here, but still, it’s just a matter of time. It’s hardest on Jack, he’s never not lived here.”
“Wow. That’s hard to imagine. But stick with me, and you’ll be able to do a lot more of the jobs associated with the new resort. Honestly, Erin? By the time you and I are done, you’ll be able to do anything in the world you want to.” That was why Allison wanted to continue doing it. She was affecting real change in a woman’s life. A woman who deserved the chance to do anything she wanted.
“Allison?” Erin said after a
long moment.
“Yes?”
“If I ever forget to tell you, you have already changed and altered my life and my view of myself. I will never be able to thank you enough.”
“Thank me by never giving up on yourself. I won’t if you won’t.”
“I won’t.” Erin’s tone was fierce. Allison believed her more than she ever believed anyone. She sat down and so did Allison, ready to begin work on lesson two of level two.
They were just finishing up when the front door burst open. Shane stepped through and stopped dead when his gaze collided with Allison’s. She was leaning across the table when he came in. A furious blush filled her cheeks. She was aware Erin glanced at Shane and then at her.
“Teacher. Erin,” Shane said as he nodded at both of them. His tone was oddly formal, coming from a guy covered in rips and grease. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“We’re about done.”
“Would you mind coming down to my shop before you go?”
She nodded when a weird lump in her throat prevented her from speaking. How could she suddenly feel so nervous with this man? He nodded back and spun on his foot as he quietly left.
Erin was staring at her. “When did that happen?”
Blushing even more, Allison pretended to be tidying up their supplies when she shrugged. “What?”
“That! The chemistry. The looks were enough to ignite a fire between you two. How did I miss that? Shane and you?”
She stared down at her feet. “It just happened. I hope it doesn’t affect anything with this… the tutoring.”
“No. Of course not.” She reached across the table and touched Allison’s hand. “He’s a really great guy. He gets labeled. I think he likes being labeled because he so obviously tries to play on them. But they are not him. It took me awhile to get a handle on what kind of guy Shane was. So flirty and charming. Yet nothing real about himself is ever given away by him. But he was the one trying to find me some help. So, no, of course, I get it.”
River's Return (River's End Series, #3) Page 18
