“I want to tell you something. Something about me that’s not…pretty.”
I frowned. “I don’t think there’s anything in this world that you could tell me that would taint my opinion of you.” He was the perfect man. Gorgeous, smart, funny, and most of all, dynamite in bed. Craig had never turned me on as much as Leo did.
“It’s something from my past. Something I’ve tried to run from my entire life. In fact, I still have nightmares about it.”
“I heard you mumble a bit last night in your sleep. I debated whether or not to wake you.”
He squeezed my hand. “I had the nightmares more often when I was a kid. When I was ten, I nearly ended all my misery with a giant plunge off the very cliffside I took you to that first night you arrived here.
I sucked in a gasp. “Leo. No. What happened?”
“I was a kid with a shitload of guilt. The magnitude of remorse over what had happened several years earlier had bored a gigantic hole in my heart. Drilling until I couldn’t take it anymore.”
We stopped walking, and Leo faced the ocean. I turned to stare out at the water beside him.
“That day, Kate found me and sat down next to me on top of the cliff as I hunched over the edge, thinking about ending it all. She saw that I’d been crying. I couldn’t hide the tears that flowed from me. She was my best friend, and she was always filled with love and compassion. She pleaded with me to tell her why I was so upset. I told her that I wanted to jump. When I finally told her why, she understood, but told me that if I jumped, she’d jump too because that’s how much she loved me. She latched on to my shirt so that if I did jump, I’d have to take her with me.”
He glanced at me and must have noticed the sudden concern fall over my face as my eyebrows burrowed closer together. I’d feared that Leo and Kate had a past, even though she’d said he was like a brother. His father’s desires for them to marry had been real, after all, and I suddenly wanted to run from Leo. I didn’t like where this was headed. I braced myself and waited for him to tell me that he and Kate used to be a couple
He held onto my hand tightly. “But this isn’t about Kate.”
“It’s not?” I tried to hide the surprise in my voice.
“No. I never loved Kate. Not that way. And I’m sure she doesn’t feel that way about me now either. We were kids. Best friends.”
Leo paused for a few seconds and stared out at the ocean. Whatever was on his mind that he felt he needed to tell me must be something significant, and difficult to voice. Maybe horrible. I suddenly wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to share.
“Honestly, I don’t remember too much, only bits and pieces. Growing up, my dad always told me not to think about it or worry about it, so that’s what I tried to do; though, eventually, it became impossible. It was an unfathomable event. After, my dad assured me that he would take care of everything. I trusted him. I had no choice. I was just a kid. And as the years went on, I remembered less and less. Which was almost harder. The not knowing. But the therapist told me that it’s common with those types of experiences, especially when you’re young.”
Leo wiped his hand over his face. He took a couple of steps away from me before coming back to stand close again. The way Leo was beginning this, was far from anything I would have imagined. “Dad tried to console me, tried to get me to realize that what I’d done had been necessary. But I couldn’t stop hearing her screams. Seeing that dead body on top of her. It turned out my mother was having an affair with another man. And that day, they hadn’t even had the decency to go lock themselves in a bedroom. I walked in on them as they lay tangled in each other’s arms, half-naked in the living room of that old house we lived in.
“My mother had screamed. That’s what had brought me into the house from where I was playing outside. It was my fifth birthday, and I’d been down at the beach, trying to be patient. I’d just received the best snorkeling set and wanted to use it, but I had to wait for one of my parents to go with me. When I heard the screams and ran in, I thought the man was hurting her. I didn’t know what they were doing. I’d just turned five years old for Christ’s sake. It all happened so fast…I just remember standing over them with a bloody fire poker in my hands. He was on top of my mother, and I’d hit him over the head with it, just as my father walked in. My dad took the poker from me and told me to leave. I stood there, listening to my mother scream with that man lying limply on top of her and I couldn’t move. Then my father shouted at me. ‘Go outside, son,’ he’d yelled. ‘Now!’ I left the house as my mother kept screaming and heard her shrieks all the way back down to the beach.” Leo paused and sucked in a huge breath. I could feel the tension in him, the agony of carrying this secret must have been immense. Then Leo turned to me, and I faced him. His eyes were glassy and filled with dread. “Grace, I killed that man that day.”
Chapter Eighteen
Leo
I turned back toward the ocean, afraid to look at Grace, knowing that what I’d just revealed might be the end of what I had with her. What I wanted and knew we were destined to achieve. Her feelings for me would change, I knew this, but I couldn’t go on without letting her know what kind of man I was. And if she wanted to end things between us, it would be better now than later. Silence surrounded us, except for the sounds of the waves breaking and the gulls overhead. I couldn’t take it.
“I’m a killer, a murderer, and it’s something I can never escape from.”
Then she spoke in a quiet voice. “You were a child. No one can blame you for that. You were protecting your mother.” I squeezed my eyes tightly with relief that she understood.
“I swear to God, Grace, I really thought he was hurting her, raping my mom; though, at the time, rape hadn’t entered my mind because I didn’t even know what rape was. I didn’t know about sex, I just knew I had to protect her. I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted him to stop hurting her. The fire poker had this little hook part that stuck out, and it landed just right on the back of his head so that the hook went right into his skull. After I had run out, my dad calmed my mom down and called the police. They came, and I had to tell them everything. I remember crying as I sat at the kitchen table, telling them what I had done. I remember thinking how bad it felt to be a criminal. They didn’t arrest me after all the questions because they believed I’d been acting in self-defense.”
I glanced at Grace, her facial expressions showed sorrow.
“I don’t want you feeling sorry for me. That’s not why I’m telling you all this. I only want you to know me for what I am.”
I let out a short, nervous laugh and ran my hand through my hair. “My father worried that I’d grow up with the stigma of being a murderer, so he shortened our last name from Amorelli to Amoré and added the D to give it a completely different sound so no one would associate the two. He changed the name of the inn and restaurant at the same time. The older local people still remember, though they don’t talk about it. They’ve always had a great respect for my father, and I like to believe that I’ve been able to prove myself to them over the years, and that they realize I was acting in self-defense.”
When Grace’s fingers found mine and laced through them, I lowered my head and glanced at her. “I know this might change any feelings you may have had for me, but I couldn’t go on without you knowing what kind of man I am.”
She turned toward me and reached up to frame my face in her hands. “Leo, I’ve always known what kind of man you are.” Then her hands slipped down to my arms, and she held them there. “You’re the man who stayed with me when I was sick with a fever in a strange country and took care of me. You’re the man who stepped into a cold shower with his clothes on so my fever would break. You’re the man who slept by my side that night and never once took advantage of me. You’re the man who showed me that I wasn’t as pitiful as I felt after my husband cheated on me. The fact that you are standing here, confessing this, feeling guilty about it and worrying how I will react, speaks volumes about the
kind of man you are. You’re a man who has respected me and given me time and space to figure out what I want. Let me make it perfectly clear, Leonardo D’Amoré. I want you. I want you even more now that you’ve given me a piece of yourself, something that I’m sure was very difficult for you to do.”
I placed my hands on her hips as she spoke.
“This is why you hate your birthday, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
“Leo, what happened to you when you were only five years old was tragic, but it wasn’t your fault. Those two, your mother and the man she was with, they should have had more sense than to carry on that way, knowing you or anyone could walk in and find them.”
“I know you’re right. But it doesn’t negate the fact that I killed a man. I will always have his blood on my hands, and it’s something that, if you stay with me, you’ll have to accept, as well.”
Chapter Nineteen
Grace
If I stayed with him. There was no if. I had no intention of leaving him over something that had happened so long ago, and an incident that wasn’t even his fault.
“Leo, when you have those nightmares, I’ll hold you until they subside, but I won’t leave you.”
He took me in his arms and held me against him, and we clung to each other. Then he spoke again. “I’m glad and so very relieved,” he whispered. “I thank my lucky stars for the night I saw you sitting there at that table in my father’s restaurant. I made a promise to you yesterday, and I intend to keep it forever. I will never hurt you.”
“I wasn’t worried.”
“Good. And if you want to keep us a secret, then I’m okay with that, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I know my father likes you, and he would never fire you for having a relationship with me.”
“You’re probably right, but let’s just give it a little more time.”
“Okay. Mum’s the word. Thank you, Grace. Thank you for being you.”
I laughed. “No problem. You know, it’s pretty easy being me.”
“I have no doubt. We should head back. Everyone will wonder where you are.” He pulled slowly away, taking my hand in his as we continued back toward the inn.
“I think you’ve adjusted very well. Considering.”
“Considering?”
“Nothing. Just something Kate said to me yesterday.”
“Okay. Now you have to tell me. Otherwise, I’m going to have to kill Kate.” I glanced up at him. “Just kidding.”
“She said something about you depriving yourself of happiness and love.”
“Leave it to Kate to say something like that. I’ve gone through years of therapy. And I needed it, especially after my mother left. I knew the reason she left was because I’d killed the man she loved. I knew she blamed me and couldn’t stand to look at me. I’m sure she still blames me.”
I couldn’t fathom a mother feeling that way. “Why do you think that? Did she ever say that?”
“Not in so many words, but I could see the disgust she felt for me in her eyes.”
I wanted to cry for him. What a mean, spiteful person.
“I killed the man she was in love with.”
“You were a child, an innocent.”
I nodded. I knew she was right, but that didn’t make my mom forgive me. “We were talking on the phone a couple of years ago, and I asked her how she was. She’d been drinking, and she told me that I was the root of all her depression. That was the last time I talked to her. I guess the love she had for that man never died.”
“How did Len take all of that? I mean, he seems very well adjusted.”
“I think he is. I hope he is. He’s a good man. Kind, loving. He never deserved what she did to him. The affair. He did his best to help me through it all. Even though he went through hell also. And he didn’t come out unscathed by any means. He lost his wife to a man his son killed. But I think it’s more that we console each other.”
“I can tell he cares about you.”
“He does. Well, now that I’ve managed to put the mood of this day in the toilet, what do you say we change the subject and talk about what you’d like to do tonight? I have a great idea.”
Leo slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close before his lips were on mine. We stood in the middle of the pathway with patches of sunlight trickling through the tall redwoods. His hand snuck up under my buttoned top, finding my right breast. “I think I want to take you right here, right now.”
The evidence of Leo’s excitement pressed against my thigh through his black work pants, and I groaned into his mouth as his other hand slid up my skirt and his fingers stroked over my core, rubbing the thin material of my panties into me. I knew I’d need to change them before I went to work.
I fisted the front of his white shirt in my hands, wrinkling the lightweight material as the front of my shirt became undone and he ended the kiss. My lips instantly missed the connection, but he licked and kissed his way down my neck, all the way to my breasts that he’d somehow managed to free from my bra.
Someone cleared their throat, and I opened my eyes to find Len standing a few feet from us. Leo stopped what he was doing and quickly removed his hand from under my skirt and fumbled with closing my shirt.
So much for keeping us a secret for a little while longer.
Leo had been right, of course. Though having Len discover us in that heated moment had been extremely embarrassing, he’d been very respectful in how he handled it. He’d turned his back while Leo and I fumbled with the buttons on my top and Leo repositioned himself in his pants. Once we could face him again, Len actually seemed to like the idea of us being together.
It didn’t take long before everyone knew our secret. Not even a day had gone by when Kate cornered me in the hallway on my way to my office, wanting to know all the details. I told her I couldn’t talk right then, and she made me promise to tell her everything over a bottle of wine later.
It wasn’t until two nights later that I had the chance to sit down with Kate and tell her everything. Leo was off on one of his research adventures, as I liked to call them. Though, this time, he wasn’t going as far as Bora Bora. In fact, it was only one night down to Monterey to see an injured baby dolphin that had been found stranded on the shore. He’d only been gone for two hours, and I already missed him. I was sort of envious of his job and wished I could have gone with him. But he promised to take me up north with him soon. I needed to work on hiring some people for when and if I needed to be away.
After clearing everything with Len, I grabbed a bottle of Merlot and headed out. Kate was meeting me at my place at ten.
“I knew you and Leo had something going from the first moment I saw you together,” Kate said as she kicked off her sandals and sat down on my sofa, bringing her knees up and planting her feet underneath her. She wore a pair of black yoga pants similar to mine, and a loose-fitting T-shirt. “Now, tell me everything, and start at the beginning.” She picked up a slice of pizza, taking a delicate bite off the end.
I told her about the first time Leo and I had had dinner together and how we’d kept it platonic, my feelings for him then and now, the way we’d tried to avoid each other for the past couple of months…the whole shebang.
After all my confessions about Leo, Kate told me about a new man in her life. Jensen. Well, he wasn’t actually new. Apparently, she’d dated him in high school, but he’d left for college several years ago and didn’t return to Anchor Bay until recently. Now that he was back, she’d had coffee with him twice, and they had a date next Tuesday evening. I silently laughed at the now silly concerns I’d had about Kate and Leo, but still, knowing Kate had someone in her life now, made me feel better about my relationship with Leo.
“I want to take you somewhere tomorrow.” Leo’s arms wrapped around me from behind, and he nuzzled his face into my neck, sending shivers down my spine. The smell and feel of him always made me tremble, a lovely sensation that I never wanted to end. We’d been together for several weeks,
and both of us had been working non-stop getting a few of the rooms at the inn updated, as well as implementing all the changes around the restaurant. The prospect of getting away sounded wonderful. And having Leo all to myself for a day or two sounded even better.
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise. Do you think you can arrange to have Kate or someone cover for the next couple of days? It’s Monday, and since Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the slow days, I thought it would be nice to get away.”
“Maybe. I’ll see if your father will take over and have Kate as his right hand.”
“Just like before you came.”
“I suppose.” I only hoped they realized how much busier we were now than back then and didn’t feel as though I’d deserted them.
“The more I think about it, those two will never survive without you. You’d better call in some reinforcements.” Leo chuckled against my neck. “One cannot simply step into your shoes and expect things to run smoothly. Baby, you are irreplaceable.”
“Thanks for that.”
“It’s true.”
“I highly doubt that. But it’s a nice thought.”
“No, seriously, you need to get someone else to come in, maybe a couple of the waitstaff that normally don’t work midweek.”
“Are you telling me how to do my job, Mr. D’Amoré?” I teased.
“Never. Just making an experienced suggestion.”
“Okay. I’ll call Jess. She owes me from the times she called in because of her daughter being sick. I’ll call Jonny, too. He’s been asking for more hours anyway.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. Pack your bags. And pack some boots.”
“Boots?”
“For hiking.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll do other things, too.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “I’ll have you all to myself for two whole days.” He stood behind me and fisted my hair in his hand, lifting the long locks off my back as he showered me with kisses down my neck. I moaned with pleasure at the sensation of his lips on me. “Mmmm…on second thought, forget the hiking boots. You’ll be naked most of the time anyway.” My lips curled into a happy smile at the thought.
Broken Wide Open: A Stand-Alone Romance Page 13
