by Gloria Cook
Hoping for Honor’s sake that the men Ben was mixing with – a shady lot, by appearances – wouldn’t lead him into trouble, Emilia joined Alec and Tristan, who were now on their own. Tristan was trying to sound cheery, but Emilia knew the only reason he was here was the hope of reconciling his brothers on neutral ground. She felt awful: there would be less hope of that after her clash with Ben.
Ben and his friends were on the way to another room.
‘Ben!’ Tristan beckoned him to join the group.
Ben excused himself and came forth. ‘Good evening, Tris.’
Alec stared across the room.
Tristan sighed in frustration at his brothers’ obdurate faces. ‘Ben? Alec? Speak, damn you. For my sake?’
Ben suddenly muttered, ‘I’m willing, for your sake, Tris.’ But he would not remain civil to his eldest brother after Tristan had joined his new unit. ‘Good evening, Alec.’
Emilia nudged Alec. He rolled his eyes at her, glared at Ben, then glanced at Tristan. The forlorn, vulnerable expression he received, as if Tristan was looking for something good and normal to cling to, wrenched at his heart. ‘Me too. Good evening, Ben.’
‘At last. Now the ice has finally been broken, before my family and I leave, I’m going to arrange for us to have a farewell supper.’ Tristan felt Emilia touch his hand. He wrapped his fingers around hers for a moment, taking comfort from their warmth and capable roughness. Coming home and finding his brothers estranged meant that he had felt unable to share his feelings and experiences about his time in the trenches. Emilia was the only one he felt would fully understand.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Emilia drove the trap over to Tremore Farm the next day, taking Lottie with her. While waiting for Eliza to clump off to fetch Honor, she began tidying up the neglected kitchen. On Florence and Honor’s first inspection here, they had asked Eliza to give the room and its contents a proper clean, but grime still clung to edges and choked comers. Dust was layered on the mantelshelf over the open fireplace, which hadn’t been swept for days. The curtains had dirty marks, as if used for wiping unclean hands. The new copper cooking pans had lost their shine. The lamp wicks, usually one of the first jobs each morning of a housekeeper, had not yet been trimmed. However, the windows were open and the fresh spring air mingled pleasantly with the smell of cooked breakfasts.
Moments later, Honor appeared, weary-eyed but smiling. She was wearing trousers, at which Florence would have been outraged. Eliza came in next with an uncovered chamber pot, and after announcing something indelicate about Archie’s functions, she went outside to empty it and catch up on her jobs in the yard.
‘Thanks so much for coming, Em.’ Honor sunk down at the table. ‘I knew you would. I think Dr Holloway’s going to be pleased – Archie had a rough night but he seems reasonably comfortable now, able to sleep at last.’
‘You need some sleep yourself, Honor. Lottie’s amusing herself with your knitting bag. While she’s content, I’ll make you some breakfast, then I’ll give this place a birthday. I’m sure you’d rather have the carthorse busy outside.’
Emilia’s light-hearted reference to Eliza made Honor’s eyes mist over. ‘Oh, I miss you so much, Em. How was last night? I still think you were brave to go to Alec’s former mistress’s place.’
‘Hasn’t Ben told you about it?’
‘I think he came in to check on Archie, but I was dozing at the time.’ Honor yawned.
‘The party was quite entertaining.’ Emilia put on the apron she’d brought and got busy with the kettle. ‘And Eugenie Bawden was surprising.’
‘In what way?’
‘I thought she would be more like the Hetherton woman – and now I’ve got to know her, I think she’s a right cow – but I liked Eugenie. She’s scatty and, I should think, kind. She probably saved Alec from sinking into a deep depression, and I’m grateful for that.’ Emilia became serious. ‘You’ve got to get out and about yourself, Honor. You haven’t done any proper courting with Ben yet, you need to build up a relationship with him.’
Honor kicked off her slippers, pulled open a cupboard door of the dresser and put her feet up on its edge. ‘There’s no need to worry about me, Em, dear. I know what Ben’s expecting from me, and I’ve accepted that I’ll get no more than a kindly concern from him. He’ll probably take a mistress, if he hasn’t got one already.’
‘Are you willing to settle for that? Surely not, Honor?’
Honor pushed her hair, unaccustomedly loose and awry, back from her shoulders. ‘Em, I’ve considered all my options. Aunt Florence is my responsibility now, rather than I hers, but if it wasn’t for her I’d ask Ben to release me and I’d seek a live-in job and somehow get some more education, then set myself up as a secretary or something. But due to my limitations, there’s no other choice but to marry Ben. I’ll be a good wife to him, and use my position to help those less fortunate. Right now, I wish people would stop treating me as if I’m a little girl.’ She was suddenly sitting on the edge of her chair. ‘That’s it!’
‘What?’ Emilia replied, alarmed, although she was pleased Honor had a firm grip on reality.
‘Scissors. See those scissors hanging up there?’
Emilia scanned a line of kitchen implements, hanging up precariously from hooks on a low beam. ‘Yes. What about them?’
‘I’m going to get liberated and you can help me. Mabel at the Red Cross will be proud of me.’
‘Honor, what are you talking about?’ Emilia stared, puzzled, at the big pair of steel scissors she had taken down.
‘I want you to cut my hair into a bob, about the length of my chin will be just right.’
Emilia’s mouth gaped open. ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme? What will Ben say?’
‘I don’t care. Em, haven’t you taken in what I’ve just said? It’s my hair and I’ll do what I like with it. Why don’t you have yours cut too? Or are you afraid of what Alec will say? Do you see him as your lord and master?’
‘Honor Burrows, whatever’s come over you? Your aunt will have a fit!’ Then Emilia was laughing. ‘Right then, if that’s what you want. Turn round. You can trim mine next, but only to shoulder length because that’s how I want it. It will be wonderful to get rid of some of this weight. As for Alec, I think I’d talk about anything that would be a dramatic change with him first.’
Emilia combed Honor’s long beautiful hair with her fingers. ‘Ready? Are you sure?’
Honor was trembling with excitement. ‘This is going to be a turning point for me. Today I become a woman and a person in my own right.’
Emilia took a deep breath and opened the scissors. ‘Well, here goes.’
‘Get on with it!’ Lottie suddenly shrieked, pursing up her face like an ugly baby’s and tossing tangled skeins of wool on to the flagstoned floor.
The two young woman burst into laughter.
Chapter Thirty
Tasteful in furs, a rolled-up umbrella hanging from her wrist, Florence was viewing a building known as The Jungle. Never had there been a more triumphant expression on her sedate face. She had a photograph of this curious dwelling that was covered with a mass of vegetation and had a sham-castle folly façade, its centre formed into two circular comers, with window frames and doors made from oak branches that were shaped into Gothic arches. Its name, according to Florence’s research, came from the builder’s passion, in the previous century, for keeping exotic animals.
Florence wasn’t particularly interested in the building, but in the people photographed in front of it, about a decade ago. One was Archie Rothwell.
A man, mature, distinguished and straight-limbed, of amiable smile, came out of the front door before Florence could knock and ask for information. After spending a pleasant half-hour drinking sherry inside with him and his amusing little wife, and receiving a local history lesson about the picturesque parish of Eagle, she walked to the parish church, a building only ten years old.
She went inside and here, trimmin
g candles near the altar, was the woman her kind informants had said was likely to be found here at this time of day.
Aged in her mid-twenties, in a simple hat and well-cut suit, the woman approached Florence on graceful feet. Her hair was fair, a mix of corn and golden sand, her eyes a vivid green. ‘Good morning. Are you new to the parish or are you taking a look around? There are many splendid things to see locally, the windmills and The Jungle.’
‘I also believe your house, Oak Tree Warren, is worth taking a look at, Miss Rothwell.’
‘You’ve been talking to someone hereabouts?’
Florence introduced herself then held out the photograph to the young woman, who, from a short while ago, she knew to be Miss Edith Rothwell. ‘I’ve come up from Cornwall about your brother, Archie, and I bring you good news. He’s not dead or gone mad or become even more crippled, as I’ve been told you’ve been fearing for several months. He’s well and is living on the property owned by my niece’s fiancé.’
‘God be praised!’ Edith Rothwell grasped both of Florence’s hands and was no longer careful to keep her voice down in the solemn surroundings. ‘God bless you, Mrs Burrows. You must come home with me without delay and meet my parents.’
* * *
Honor carried a bowl of hot water, a flannel and fresh towels into Archie’s room. He was sleeping with his arms outside the covers and they were lying flat and relaxed, his eyelids the same. Last night had been the first he’d gone without nightmares, or groaning and twitching, or breathing with a harsh rasp. It was a shame to disturb him but he needed to take his medication.
Archie opened his eyes and watched her pull back the curtains, go to the cupboard that doubled as a washstand, and prepare the liquids and pills he was to take.
After she poured a glass of water, she found him looking at her with a soft, grateful smile. ‘Good morning. I’m sure all nurses wish their patients were as cooperative as you.’
‘Not all patients have such a tender-hearted nurse,’ he replied.
She sat on the bed and passed him all he had to swallow. He glanced at her throughout. ‘You like my hair like this, don’t you?’
He studied the glossy frame around her perfect heart-shaped face. ‘It’s stunning.’
‘Ben doesn’t approve. He won’t believe that it was my idea and not Em’s. He says she’s a bad influence on me. Oh, well, it’s my hair, my life.’ She rubbed the edge of his pyjama jacket. ‘You’re sticky. Let’s get this off and make you comfortable.’
‘I don’t want to keep putting you to so much trouble, Honor. I can manage.’
He had given up the habit of dropping his eyes, and as she undid his top button and started on the next, his gaze was locked to hers.
‘Archie, it’s no trouble at all. When you’ve freshened up, Eliza will bring you a hearty breakfast. You might as well make the most of being in the country, where it’s not hit so hard by the food shortages.’
‘You won’t be happy until you see some flesh on these stick-thin bones of mine. But I really must get up and do some work. Ben’s insisted on taking all the paperwork away so he won’t disturb me. Please persuade him that I’m sure I can manage to get to the desk now. I owe you and Ben, Cyril and Eliza so much. Even Albie’s been sitting with me, concern written over his dear little face.’
‘The last thing we want is for all our hard work to be undone by you wearing yourself out. You must look after your chest, Archie. You could have died. Dr Holloway is sending Nurse Roberts to redress your feet tomorrow. They’re to be kept dressed until they’re completely healed, and then we must make sure they’re always dry and padded in the right places. It’s important to keep them comfortable. You’re easily at risk from gangrene, you know.’
‘I know. Don’t worry, I won’t neglect myself again.’
She soaped the flannel. Archie dropped the hand that was about to reach for it.
She smiled as she set to work. She enjoyed nursing him more than anything she had ever done. She carefully dried his skin and helped him into a clean pyjama jacket, sitting close while she fastened each button and turned back the collar and smoothed down the lapels.
He did not lean back against the pillows as before. She did not want him to move away.
Archie suddenly took her hand. ‘You sang to me during the times I was delirious. I heard you, you pulled me through. Thank you, Honor.’
‘Shall I sing now? What did your sister sing for you?
‘‘The Distant Shore”, it was my favourite.’
In her clear, gentle voice, Honor sang the tale of Victorian pathos, in which a maiden tragically died. Tears watered Archie’s eyes. ‘When did your sister die, Archie?’
He tightened the hold on her hand. ‘She didn’t.’
Honor had suspected he was still keeping secrets, and she knew she must be careful. ‘You mean she’s out there somewhere, probably worrying about you and missing you as much as you’re missing her?’
‘Yes, that’s the truth. You must be appalled.’
‘Have you any more family?’
‘A mother, father, aunts, uncles, cousins, even a grandmother, not unlike old Mrs Harvey.’
‘Have you a wife and children? I’ve often wondered about that.’ She was praying he would say no – not that it should directly concern her.
‘I never found the time. I always seemed to be at sea, but then, I never fell in love. Honor, please don’t despise me, my current life is a fraud from start to finish. I’ve never needed to beg for work or take clothes from charity. My family are wealthy, and I have money in my own right. To have drawn on my bank would have alerted them to where I was.’
‘But why live like you have all this time? Enduring rejection and risking your health?’
He fell back against the pillows, letting Honor’s hands slip free. ‘I heard the men on my ship begging for help. I saw others burning like torches. My own boots had burnt through and I was trying to batter my way through to some of those who were trapped, but either someone pushed me or I fell overboard. There were lots of us in the water. But the cries grew fainter as they drowned or died from their wounds. I clung to a body in a life jacket. I don’t remember being picked up, everything was a haze until I woke up, as if from a nightmare, and Edith, my sister, was there. I was in a nursing home. I had no right to be there while all those others had perished, there with my lovely sister. I felt such pain for Emilia when she heard her brother had died. It’s what those of us who go to war are expected to do, die, and not come home and taunt the living that their loved ones will never come back. When my ravings frightened one of the patients in the nursing home I felt so ashamed. I didn’t want my parents to see me, to know what I’d become. They’re genteel and simple. How could I put them through that?’
‘But my dear Archie, you’ve been seeing this all wrong. That’s the tragedy, not your injuries or how your terrible experiences have affected you.’ Honor grabbed his balled-up fists, and after spreading out his taut fingers, she kissed them. ‘Oh, you poor, dear, mistaken man. All this time you could have been cared for by those who love you, who must be longing to hear that you are alive and well, instead of letting yourself suffer all this alone.’
Archie sat forward. ‘Not alone, Honor. The Harvey brothers have been good to me, and then there’s you. I’d go through it all again just to be with you.’ He kissed her hands as she had his. They gazed at each other for a moment. Then leaned closer and closer until their lips touched. They closed their eyes and allowed the kiss to go and on. It was the most sensuous moment of her life: the sweetest sense of adoration for him.
* * *
Ben was devouring his breakfast when she went downstairs. ‘Sorry to be in a rush, got lots to do before I go into Truro.’
‘I think I’ll come with you,’ she said.
‘Why?’
‘To spend some time with you. I’ve got something to tell you about Archie.’
‘You’ll have to make it another time, sweetheart.’ H
e planted a kiss on top of her head. ‘I’ve got people to see, I can’t have you getting in my way.’
‘Oh, I promise I’ll never, ever do that, Ben.’
When Ben had gone, and with the workforce busy away from the farmstead, she returned to Archie and latched the door behind her.
‘Time for more medicine already, is it?’ he asked, meeting her eyes. ‘Look, Honor, I want to apologize about what happened. I shouldn’t have kissed you, you belong to Ben.’
She took off her engagement ring and dropped it beside Archie’s medicines. ‘No, I don’t. It was never really on for us. It’s such a relief to take this off, I only had years of monotony ahead. Ben meant well towards me, but it’s not enough, is it? I think he will be relieved too. One day he’ll find someone more like Emilia, it’s what he wants and what he needs.’
‘What will you do?’
‘Oh, I’ll think of something, and Aunt Florence will just have to come to terms with it. Happiness doesn’t lie in settling for something less than one deserves. And Archie, you deserve to be with your family. Don’t you think you should get in touch with them? It’s the right thing to do.’
‘It is, but I don’t think there will be any need for that.’ He beckoned her to him and she went. ‘Your aunt’s holidaying in Lincolnshire, and by strange coincidence, that’s where my family lives.’
‘What? So that’s why she chose a place so far away to rest. And you were content to let her find you out? Aunt Florence, the canny old fox! That’s the best news ever. I suppose someone will be down to fetch you soon. I’ll miss you, Archie, but I’m pleased for you at the same time.’ Honor tried and failed to put on a brave face. This was one sudden change too many. The best thing for Archie, but a dreadful, unwelcome change for her. In one awful moment, she realized what it would mean no longer to be near him. She had never loved Ben, but she loved this man who had once been a lonely stranger.
