by K L Finalley
"The same."
"The same?" Mallory questioned. "What does that even mean?"
"It was the same stuff."
"Nothing new happened."
"Are you gonna miss them when we move?"
"Some of 'em. But, Jax said," she pointed to Jacqueline with her fork.
"Don't point with your utensils," Jacqueline interrupted.
Continuing, she said, "I can still see Abbie."
"Yeah, of course, you can," Mallory reiterated. "What about the others?"
"Nah, not really. I'll miss knowing where everything is."
"New places are only new for a little bit. I learned my new building pretty quick," Mallory told her.
"Do you miss seeing Jax every day?"
Mallory sat back. "Oh my God, yes! Sometimes, things happen and I want to walk into her office and tell her. Sometimes, I want to look up and see her there and she's not there. That's the worst part of my new job." Mallory looked into Jacqueline's face. She had stopped eating. She looked surprised.
Unaware of their exchange, Zoe went on, "So, Jax is like Abbie?"
They both laughed. "Not really, but kinda like that," Mallory said.
They sat in silence for a few moments eating. Mallory thought of how nice life was when they were alone. Just the three of them. She thought of the joy that she felt and the joy Zoe felt. Then, she was overcome by the prior night's dinner and the call from Cody. She was baffled that the people she loved most didn't want her or her daughter to be as happy as they were.
"I'm finished. May I be excused?" Zoe announced.
"Looks good to me, " Jacqueline said. "Go clean your plate off and take a bath."
Zoe slipped out of her chair. Mallory watched as her eight-year-old entered the kitchen, scraped, rinsed, and loaded her plate into the dishwasher. Then, she washed her hands in the kitchen sink and headed to the bathroom without argument or complaint. There was no denying the change that life with Jacqueline had made. Mallory leaned back in her chair. "We need to start looking at furniture."
"We? Or you?"
"Don't you want to be a part of it?" Mallory posed.
"If you want me to, I will."
"Well, of course, I want you to. We have an entire house to outfit," Mallory said.
"Seems overwhelming. You know, we can hire…"
"We are doing it ourselves. We are not hiring some stranger…"
"Okay. Okay." Jacqueline waved her napkin in surrender. They had discussed it before. Mallory wanted the two of them to decorate the house. She did not want to hire a stranger to plan the contents of their new home. "Should we, at least, wait til we have a house picked out?"
"Not really. We need a couch, a loveseat, a dining room table, and.."
Zoe interrupted her thought as she ran into the room. In the last few months, they had worked hard to stop her from running everywhere she went, but this time the run seemed warranted. "Mom," she panted, "Dad, just called." Mallory sat up in her chair. Her face changed. Her stomach dropped. She held her breath. "Dad just called and asked me if I wanted to move in with him all the time and visit you in the summer and on holidays. I told him I didn't want to. Mom, are you gonna make me do it? Are you?"
Mallory stared into her daughter's eyes. She wasn't panicked. She wasn't scared. She looked betrayed. "No, baby, I'm not going to make you do it."
"Then, why did he ask me that?"
"Because he and Uncle Owen want you to live with him," Mallory didn't withhold anything.
"Why?"
"Because they don't want you to live with me if I live with Jacqueline," Mallory said and looked at Jacqueline. She saw the pain come over Jacqueline's face.
Zoe didn't speak for a minute. "Because Jacqueline's a girl?" she asked. Before Mallory could responded, she added, "Or, because she's brown?"
"Probably both," Mallory whispered as she stroked her daughter's long hair.
"That's not right. I won't go! I don't want to go! I want to stay here with you and Jacqueline!" Zoe demanded instantly. Mallory's face reddened. She felt washed in shame. When faced with the same question earlier in the day, she wasn't sure what she was going to do, but Zoe knew instantly that she was prepared to stand and fight.
"He's your father," Mallory said.
"I won't go, Mom. I love Jax. I won't go!" Zoe's head turned. "That's my phone ringing. I know it's him again."
Mallory stood up. "Stay here. I'm going to talk to your father."
Jacqueline watched as Mallory left the room. Her eyes were fixated in the direction of the ringing phone. She didn't look as haggard as she had when she came home. To the contrary, she had regained her strength. Jacqueline wondered if it was the shower, the wine, dinner, or Zoe. Still, she wasn't sure what Mallory was going to say or going to do, but she was aware of the poison that was being served. Her eyes glanced away from Mallory as she turned down the hall in the direction of Zoe's bedroom. She looked down at the table where Zoe still sat. Her head was resting on the palms of her hands.
"Come here, " she said softly.
Zoe slinked over to her and stood between her legs. Jacqueline placed her hands under her arms, preparing to pick her up and place her on her knee, but Zoe spoke. "I don't know why they don't like you. They don't even know you."
Jacqueline sighed. "This is a hard one to explain."
"I know some people just don't like other people. But, Dad talks to you."
"He does."
"So, he knows we're with you all the time."
"He may not have realized how close we are," she suggested.
"Why does that matter?"
"He's scared that if I raise you, then you might turn out like me."
"Like you?"
"You might like … girls instead of boys."
"Boys are dumb," Zoe chirped.
"You won't always think that. One day, you're gonna wanna hold hands and kiss them and marry them. Dads want you to do that, not what I do."
Zoe was quiet. "Grandma Sheryl likes boys."
"What?"
"Your mom likes boys," Zoe proclaimed. "And, it didn't make you like boys."
"No, you are what you are," Jacqueline said wanting to hold her tight.
"Then, I already like what I like."
"Yes, you do." Jacqueline hugged her.
"I don't want to live with him. He's my Dad and I love him, but I don't want to live with him. Don't make me go."
"I'll do everything I can to keep you with us."
Mallory returned to the dining room. She was texting on her phone, but she looked up from it in time to see the two of them wrapped up together. "Zoe, go take a bath."
"What'd Dad say?"
"Adult words."
Zoe left Jacqueline and ran to her mother. "Mom, do I have to go stay with Dad? Do I? I don't want to. Can we call Uncle..."
"We aren't calling Uncle Owen. You aren't going to live with anyone unless I send you there. No one gets to pick, but me. And, the only place I say you're going is to the bath and then to bed. Got it?"
"Got it," Zoe ran off to the bathroom.
"Now, go, stinky," Mallory slapped her on the butt as she passed her on her way to the bathroom. Mallory returned to the table. She received a text and responded.
Jacqueline walked to the kitchen counter and retrieved the half-consumed bottle of wine and refilled her glass. "So, how was your day?"
Mallory pulled her legs underneath her in the chair. "Guess who called me at work today?"
"Hmm. Let me think," Jacqueline tapped her top lip as if to ponder. "Could it be Cody?"
"You'll never guess what he had to say," she said as she chugged Merlot.
"Oh, I think I know. I suppose Owen called him last night and started all of this."
"Of course, he did. Cody can't do this on his own." Jacqueline refilled her glass. Drunkenness would be acceptable tonight.
"How's Zoe?" Mallory asked as she listened to sounds of water in the bathroom.
"Pissed off," Jacquelin
e responded.
"I can't believe he thought it was a good idea to call an eight-year-old and say that to her. Did he really think that she'd be like oh, okay, come get me?" Mallory said.
"He's not thinking this through," Jacqueline said.
"He doesn't even want her. He doesn't want to raise her. He barely calls her. He doesn't even stick to his visitation like he could. This is Owen. This is about control. This is about him wanting me to do what he wants me to do."
"What are you gonna do?" Jacqueline asked nervously.
Mallory looked up at her. "We're gonna fight. I had a breakdown in my meeting with Misty who, by the way, was great about it. Anyhow, her dad is Peter Tate. Did you know that? Her father is THE Peter Tate."
"Yeah, I knew. She's Melissa Tate. He helped her emancipate herself from her mother. It was a huge thing. Hell, I wanted to emancipate myself from my mother because of her."
"I remember that story. I didn't remember it was Misty."
"Yep, it was Misty," Jacqueline said.
"Who knew that I'd ever know her or Peter Tate?" Mallory chugged more of her wine. "Anyhow, she suggested I talk to you and if we wanted to, we could consult with him. She said she'd arrange it."
"With Peter Tate?"
"Yes."
"Over child custody lawsuit with Cody Russell? Wow." Jacqueline was stunned.
"That's who I was texting. Misty. She said she'd call him."
"Do you think he'll do it? I mean, he has high profile clients," Jacqueline was confused.
"Misty thinks he will," Mallory said.
The reality of a court case started to settle on Jacqueline. "What do you want me to do? Should I back off? Stop the sale of the condo? I don't want to..."
"I just want you to stand by me. By us," Mallory reached out and took her hand.
"I don't want to make it harder on you..."
"You won't."
"You can't be sure of that."
"I am." Mallory sighed. "We're a family. Now, let's talk about good news. How was your day?"
"Uh, let's skip talking about my day. Hmm, there is some good news. I saw Ethan."
Mallory clapped, "Finally, something good happened. What's the news?"
"Well, the house is sold. The proceeds are deposited. The bills are paid off." Waving her hand around the condo, she said, "Including the condo. We have money to go out and buy a house and a boat. We can do the remodel. We can get furniture. There's money in a bunch of places that rollover and become accessible in varying times."
"That's amazing. I'm so excited," Mallory admitted.
"Are you?" Jacqueline questioned.
"Of course, I am. Everything we've been talking about. Everything we've been planning is at our fingertips. We need to get this show on the road."
"Do you still want to? I mean, with everything that happened today…."
Mallory stood up from her chair and stumbled to Jacqueline. She sat in her lap, rested her head on her chest, and said, "Of course, I do." Then, she snored.
CHAPTER NINE
The past few days had been unsettling. They hadn't found a house they loved. They'd had dinner with Mallory's family and Jacqueline left feeling uncertain about Mallory's commitment. Then, there was Cody's implication of a custody battle. It had all been too much to deal with. And, now, in addition that stress, she needed to call her mother. Jacqueline couldn't do it. She couldn't listen to her mother half-heartedly support her and chastise her in the same call, but she needed to contact her. Text flashed into her mind's eye. She hoped they could have a text conversation as she drove from the Sun to WMIM to meet with Mallory and Peter Tate. While Sheryl wasn't technologically savvy, Jacqueline thought she could keep it simple enough that it could work; the effort was worth a try.
Jacqueline: Mom, I got the check and the box back in the mail. What's going on?
Short and sweet. She thought it would be better to send two sentences than a long text and run the risk of her mother not being able to navigate her cellphone screen. She kept waiting for a reply. She checked and rechecked. She checked at lights. She checked while driving. She was crafting another text when the phone rang. "Shit!" she said. Then, she answered. "Hi, Mom."
"Hi, Q. You know, I don't like to text. Why didn't ya just call me if you wanted to talk?"
"I was on my way to a meeting and I thought we could chat really quick. I thought texting might make it simple."
"Uh huh," Sheryl said.
Jacqueline could see her mother wagging her finger and shaking her head. She knew that this had already started off on the wrong foot. Her mother was offended. There was nowhere to go but forward, so she pressed on. "Why'd you send the check and the box back?"
"Q, I don't need your check. I 'preciate you lookin' after us when we needed it, but things are all right now. The house's paid off. The truck's paid off. You should keep your money," Sheryl said.
Taken aback, Jacqueline hesitated. "Did this just happen all at once?"
"No, it's been a little while."
"Well, why'd you just tell me now?" Jacqueline was curious. She wasn't mad, but she was interested by the sudden change.
"Are you accusin' me of something?" Sheryl said sharply.
The ice was thin. Jacqueline proceeded with caution. "No, Mom, it's just sudden. You didn't mention it when I saw you last weekend."
"Q, you should look after yourself, not some white girl and her daughter."
"Don't call her that!" Jacqueline demanded. "I mean it. I will…"
"You know, I didn't mean anything by it," Sheryl quipped back.
"I don't care what you meant. Don't say it," Jacqueline should've anticipated this crack. This was when she slipped through the ice shelf and, slowly, drowned as her mother stood above her dry and safe saying words she couldn't hear.
"Q, you just don't understand people."
"Mom, don't start this."
Sheryl continued as if she hadn't heard what Jacqueline had said. "I was a single mother once. I remember what's it's like to do your best to take care of a child and still not make ends meet. You don't. You need to keep your money. Keep your eyes open. You can't just give money away…"
"Mom, when we were there, you acted like you loved Mallory. Now, you're on the phone telling me to be careful," Jacqueline said. "What's the problem?"
"I like her, but I know girls like her."
Jacqueline laughed. "Girls like her…what's she like?"
"Girls who've done their best for years and are happy when someone comes along to help. I don't want my baby to be that someone."
"Mama, I can't do this," Jacqueline said as she rubbed her head. "She's not with me for money. She'd be fine without me. She is Program Director for a television show. She makes more than enough money to lead a very comfortable life."
"In that little house in Clearwater. Uh huh," Sheryl dismissed.
Jacqueline sat up tall and said, "She makes more than enough to buy her own house without me. She could go out and do anything."
Condescendingly, Sheryl said, "But, she sure could get more with you around."
Almost screaming, Jacqueline announced, "If you think her life is gonna be better, easier …. with me, then you're the one who doesn't understand people."
Sheryl teased, "You sent me a check I didn't need. I sent your check back and you're giving me a hard time about it, but you know all about people. Sure, you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jacqueline asked.
"You don't have a clue what's goin' on, but don't worry. I'm right here and I'll make sure it's all on the up and up."
"Mom, listen, I've known her for a while. She does have a daughter, who I love, and I don't think she wants anything from me. But, I appreciate you looking after me," Jacqueline tried to defuse her mother's suspicions.
Sheryl admitted. "You sure are your father's child, aren't you?"
"Someone has to be," she retorted. Ready to be free from the awkward conversation, she announced, "I'm at my meeting."<
br />
"Okay, I'll let you go."
"You know, if you need me for anything…" Jacqueline started to say. She said it at the end of all their conversations. She wanted her mother to know that she could depend on her, even, if they didn't see eye to eye.
"You'll be there?" Sheryl smirked as she guessed what Jacqueline had planned to say.
"Well, I will."
"That's exactly what your father used to say to me every time we spoke, every time he came to get you, every time," Sheryl replied.
Jacqueline didn't respond to her mother's tangent. She couldn't. What could she say that would have been right. Instead, she changed the subject. "Are you going to come to the housewarming?"
Sheryl revitalized. Instantly, her timbre returned. "Yes ma'am. I've gotta know my first born is okay. She doesn't know when she needs me." She mumbled to herself. It was something about Mallory, but Jacqueline didn't ask. She could only barely hear it. She didn't want to know what it was and was too exhausted to talk about it. Then, she asked, "Do you have a house yet?"
"Well, no, not yet."
"Shouldn't take too long to find a fancy house," Sheryl said.
Jacqueline laughed as she turned off the engine. "It's taking a longtime trying to find a regular one, Mom. Just a regular one. I'll talk to you later. Bye."
"Bye, Jacqueline," Sheryl said as she hung up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex parked her yellow sports car on the parking space and wiggled her girth from behind the steering wheel. Admittedly, it had become difficult to unwedge her rapidly growing body from the confines of a car meant for style and speed, not space and comfort. Elet saw her arrive and walked over to her. Dressed in dark jeans and a clean polo, rather than his usual paint-speckled jeans and t-shirt, she knew he was serious about trading her car for a family vehicle.
With a kiss and a hug, she felt his clean-shaven face and smelled his cologne, she remarked, "Do you have a date?"
"No, I just thought I should look like a responsible husband and father." He took her purse from her shoulder and held it in his hand - a job he had recently acquired.
