by K. G. Reuss
“Are we not talking?” he pressed, falling into step beside me. “Because it’s a long walk back if we aren’t talking. I think it’ll be uncomfortable.”
“Then don’t follow me,” I replied evenly, quickening my pace.
“I’d feel bad if I didn’t escort you home. It’s getting late and all,” he answered nonchalantly.
“Trust me, I’m OK with going on my own.” I exhaled, my breath visible in the cool autumn air.
“I’m not,” he returned, matching my pace. I rolled my eyes and broke into a jog, but he followed suit. I could feel the strange electricity zinging between us, and I trembled as it flowed through my body, making me want to do things I wouldn’t normally do.
We’d run in silence for about fifteen minutes when I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What were you doing out here?” I burst out, turning to him, my green eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“I enjoy nature. I like to spend my time outdoors,” he replied, his words laced with honesty and his dark eyes wide and innocent. “These woods looked inviting, and I decided I’d check them out. Kevin told me they have a lot of running trails, and running is therapeutic for me, so here I am. I just got lucky and found you, I guess.”
I eyed him and nodded, accepting his answer. If anyone could understand his need for running and nature, it was me.
“So do you go swimming in the cold often?” he inquired, his full lips turning up into a quirky smile.
“I don’t make a habit of it,” I muttered, walking up the trail.
“I’d hope not. You’re going to get sick, and then you won’t be able to cheer,” he replied, burying his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
“Like I care about that,” I sighed, realizing I didn’t care if I ever put my cheer uniform on again. I hated Courtney and Sasha, and having to face them made my stomach twist. They both thought I was after their boyfriends, if that’s what Calix was to Sasha.
“You should care. You’re pretty good at it,” he said.
“How would you even know? You’ve been here all of a week,” I huffed, feeling all sorts of bitchy.
“I’ve been to your practices,” he pointed out. “Where did you learn to do all those flips?”
“Gymnastics,” I grunted sullenly.
“Well, you look incredible. You’re easily the best on your squad,” he said.
I felt my cheeks grow warm at the compliment. “Thanks,” I said, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. My god, it was freezing out.
“Here,” he said, stopping me and taking off his hoodie. “You’re freezing.”
He didn’t wait for me to protest before pulling it down over my head. I wanted to tell him no, but it smelled like him, and it was warm. I shook the crazy thought out of my head.
“Thank you,” I said, feeling a shiver go up my spine as he adjusted the too-big sweater around me, his nearness making my stomach do somersaults.
“It looks good on you,” he murmured, pushing my long, wet hair away from my face. I stared into his dark eyes, mesmerized. They looked like they had seen so many things, things I wanted to ask him about, but knew I shouldn’t. Not when he was with Sasha. Not when I was trying to get over Kellin. Not when I was bursting into flames or hallucinating, neither a desirable quality in a person.
I turned and started walking again and heard him chuckle before catching up to me.
“I heard you don’t have a date to homecoming,” he started.
“I’m not surprised. It’s all over school. That and my lack of a love life,” I groaned, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed about it.” He shrugged. “I think it’s a turn-on.”
My cheeks burned a deeper red and I hung my head to hide my face. He thought inexperience was attractive? What the hell was he doing with Sasha then? God knows how experienced she was.
“It’s embarrassing because I’ll be eighteen soon and I haven’t even been close to it,” I murmured, not knowing why I was divulging any information to him. We weren’t friends.
“I thought you said you’ve been on dates?” he inquired, calling me out.
“I went out on one sophomore year with a guy named Andy Harris. He never called me back, and then I saw him out with Courtney a few weekends later,” I said softly. That wasn’t my crowning social moment, and it was probably right around that time when Courtney and I became bitter with one another.
“I figured I wasn’t dating material,” I continued softly. “I basically stopped trying after that.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Calix snorted with a shake of his head. He caught my look of irritation quickly and gave me a reassuring smile.
“What I mean, Ana, is you shouldn’t let one bad experience stop you from being happy. The guy wasn’t worthy of you anyway,” he added knowledgeably.
“And how would you know about his worthiness?” I asked tiredly.
“Anyone who would take you out and not call you back, not kiss your lips, is a damned fool and doesn’t deserve you,” Calix stated fiercely.
My heart skipped a beat at his words. He seemed to have so many personalities. He was the most confusing individual I’d ever met.
“Whatever. No one has asked me since. I attribute it to me just not being datable,” I said with an indifferent shrug. “I mean, I guess I could just go out and be one of those girls who makes out with every guy. That would probably get the vast majority of my enemies off my back. I think it’s what everyone expects me to do.”
He grabbed my arm abruptly and turned me to face him, his dark eyes serious as he gazed down at me. I gulped as he took a step closer, my heart beating unevenly in my chest.
“Never, ever, sacrifice what you want for what is expected of you. You’re better than that, Princess. Doing what everyone else wants and what is expected makes you live a life that isn’t yours, and you deserve to have everything you want,” he murmured, brushing my cheek gently with the back of his warm hand, sending familiar zings of energy through my skin.
“Why are you being nice to me? You don’t know me.” The words popped out of my mouth before I could think them through.
“Is that what I’m doing?” he mused softly, his eyes sucking me in. “Maybe I should get to know you.”
Butterflies danced in my stomach as I stared up at him. His shaggy black hair fell into his eyes and a muscle tensed along his jaw like he was trying to control himself. And his tattoo. I hadn’t noticed it before, but I could now see it barely peeking at me from beneath his black undershirt. I followed his cotton-clad arm down to his wrists and saw the hint of it disappearing beneath the sleeve.
I envisioned it wrapping itself around his torso like a snake, then frowned as I saw a flash of it in my mind. I took a step away from him, frightened to know if I was correct about it.
I started running again, and he fell into step beside me, the electricity bouncing between us as we huffed and puffed down the trail.
It was nice running with him, I had to admit. It sounded crazy, but I didn’t feel as tired or worn-out as I pushed myself down the trail. Almost like we were eating one another’s energy. I pushed the ridiculous thought out of my mind and pressed on.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” he asked as we slowed to a walk. The clearing to my house was just ahead, and I guiltily wanted a few more moments with this enigmatic man.
“No,” I answered, staring straight ahead. I’d always wanted a brother or sister, but it wasn’t in the stars it seemed.
“Spoiled only child? That explains a lot,” he said, the all too familiar mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What about you?” I snapped, immediately coming unglued because of his ridiculous assumptions. I knew this nice moment between us wouldn’t last. “Where do you live? What do your parents do? Are you an only child?”
“I live nearby. My mother is dead, I’m not close to my father, and I am an only child now since my brother was mur
dered.”
“Oh,” I said feeling my face burn. “Sorry. I-I didn’t realize . . . ”
“What? You didn’t realize my mom was dead and my brother was murdered? I wouldn’t expect you to know that. We only just met.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, dumbfounded. I didn’t even know what to say to him. I guess it was easy to figure out where his attitude stemmed from. He didn’t seem to have a very bright past.
“I see what you’re doing there behind those beautiful eyes, Princess. Don’t. Don’t feel sorry for me or try to figure me out. It is what it is.”
“Why do you call me Princess?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.
“Because I like it, and I’ve seen where you live,” he said through a forced smile.
“I didn’t earn any of it. It’s my parents’ place. I just live there. I’d be perfectly content with a small house or whatever,” I stated, knowing it was the truth.
“Mhm. I can imagine you in generic clothes, a small house with one bathroom, and walking to school every morning.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “You don’t know me,” I said, holding my chin up. “I’m not like you think I am.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “You are surprising. Unexpected, in fact.”
He reached out and touched my face gently with his warm fingers, sending a buzz of electricity through my body.
“Do you really not have a date to homecoming?” he asked softly.
“I don’t,” I answered, drawing in a shaky breath.
My phone rang then, effectively shattering whatever moment we were having. I fumbled for it quickly.
“Hey, Mel,” I breathed nervously into the phone.
“Hey, wanna hang out tonight?”
“Um, yeah. I guess,” I replied, turning away from Calix.
“Good, because we need to talk,” she continued. “I’ll be at your house in ten, OK?”
“Yeah, see you then,” I answered, wondering what she wanted to talk about. My stomach twisted at the possibilities. Maybe there was some new rumor about me floating around.
“Plans?” Calix asked, jolting me from my thoughts. I looked up at him in surprise, having forgotten he’d been standing there the whole time.
“Mel is coming over,” I answered. “I . . . uh . . . better go. She said she’ll be here in ten. Thanks for your hoodie.”
I took it off and handed it to him; he took it from my hands and smiled sadly at me. He wasn’t the same snarky person he had been, and I wondered how often his personality changed.
“I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” he said, backing away from me. I nodded and watched him as he turned and jogged away.
The way his shoulders slumped forward made me think he was sad. I wasn’t sure why that bothered me, but it did, and I couldn’t shake the feeling as I walked into my house.
There was something about Calix Night that I was drawn to, whether I wanted to admit it or not. Something that frightened and excited me.
And that’s why I needed to stay away from him.
Chapter 13
Mel pulled up to my house the moment my feet hit the stoop.
“Hey,” I greeted her tiredly.
“Please tell me Kellin was telling the truth about you confessing your undying love for him,” she said immediately, her eyes lighting up.
“Oh, no,” I groaned, opening the door. She followed me up to my bedroom and looked pointedly at me.
“Spill,” she demanded, sitting down in my desk chair.
“I wouldn’t put it in so many words,” I sighed. “I may have mentioned something that he might have taken as meaning something else.”
“Well, if you didn’t say it then how the hell would he think it meant that?”
I groaned again and launched into what had happened after school. She listened with rapt attention, nodding appropriately or shaking her head.
“OK, so you definitely said it,” she said, nodding.
“Maybe, but I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not like I’m lovesick over him or something!”
“Ana, so what? You like him. Now he knows.” Mel shrugged.
“I don’t want to like him, though,” I said, flopping onto my bed. “I really don’t. In fact, I don’t want to like anyone right now.”
“Who else do you like?” Mel narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me, and I grimaced.
“No one,” I backtracked.
“Ana,” she warned, raising a perfectly tweezed eyebrow at me.
“Fine. I sort of feel something when I’m around Calix,” I muttered quickly. “It’s not that I like him, though. It’s different. He sort of frightens me a bit, and it’s like I’m drawn to him.”
“I thought you hated him!” she exclaimed in disbelief. “Wait. He frightens you?”
“Yeah, kind of, and I did hate him. I mean, I do! Like I said, these feelings are different.”
“Girl, you need to sort yourself out,” Mel laughed. “Neither one of them are bad picks. Too bad they both seem to be taken, though.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve made a vow to just lie low for a while. You know, try to blend into the cream-colored walls or something.”
Mel nodded sympathetically, and we eventually changed the subject to Kevin’s parties, school, homecoming, and random gossip. When Mel left, I let out a sigh, relieved to be alone. I didn’t know what to think.
I did know that I meant what I said to Mel about lying low. I was done being the center of bad attention, especially considering the whole flame bit was still creeping around in the back of my mind.
There was something wrong with me, and I prayed no one ever found out about it.
Chapter 14
I somehow managed to avoid most interactions with everyone over the following weeks. After the dreams I’d been having, I felt incredibly uneasy. The dreams had pelted me every night; some seemed good and made me feel euphoric, like the one where I was in the field of wildflowers. Others, like the dead bodies in the field, made me feel like I was going crazy, and maybe I was. I hadn’t had another flare-up, so to speak, of the fire on my hands, for which I was grateful.
I made it a point, though, to keep my distance from people, especially Kellin and Calix, choosing to occupy my free time in the library, or sadly, my stall in the third-floor girl’s bathroom. I wasn’t sure when my next fire outburst would be, and I wasn’t eager to find out.
I nodded appropriately when I was approached by one of my friends, and I smiled whenever necessary. When Calix tried to engage me in conversation in class, I’d answer if one was required, but I never tried to further our conversations. He seemed genuinely disappointed at my lack of communication, which I guessed came from his wanting to get a rise out of me.
I couldn’t let it happen, even if I really wanted to get snarky back to him when he pushed my buttons. I figured the less I said, the better we’d all be. More strange things had started happening, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t finding myself more concerned about the state of my mental health. In addition to the dreams and fire, there was something else. Something downright creepy.
I’d awaken nearly every night to the sound of breathing in my bedroom, and I knew it wasn’t me I was hearing. Whenever I’d sit up and look around, there would be nothing there. I’d started covering my bedroom mirror because—and I know it sounds crazy—I could swear I’d see a shadow of a person flit through it.
When I wasn’t seeing shadows moving in my mirror or hearing breathing that wasn’t my own in my bedroom, I was running the trails behind my house, trying to clear my head. Random visions had started to happen during the day, and I found them troubling, considering I was barely sleeping to start with.
For instance, I kept seeing the strange kingdom near the wildflower fields. Whenever I tried to approach it, the vision would swiftly end, leaving me back wherever I’d been before the sight started. I’d even seen the answers to Mr. Gillis’s chemistry quiz, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d
violated some school code of conduct.
I was grateful the whole catching on fire thing hadn’t happened again. I tried to push the thought out of my head that it was tied to my emotions when I was upset. Maintaining my distance was not only helping with keeping Courtney and Sasha off my back, it was also keeping me from spontaneously combusting.
Kellin seemed to be avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him, and I sort of missed him. I kept my head down whenever I was near him mostly because the less attention I paid to him, the less crap I had to deal with from Courtney. She seemed to have felt like she’d won, and I didn’t have to listen to her run her mouth about me to anyone who would listen. It was a great feeling until I realized I was losing one of my best friends over her ridiculous antics.
I was getting ready for the football game by doing stretches when Mel dropped down beside me.
“Hey, stranger,” she said, a small smile on her face.
“Hey,” I replied, smoothing out my blue and white cheerleading skirt.
“So are you ready for tonight?”
“Um, tonight?” I asked, my brow furrowed as I tried to recall if there was something I was supposed to be doing other than cheering at this game.
“Kevin is having a party at his place after the game. I figured maybe you’d like to come with. Brandon, remember Chad’s friend? Well, he’s going to come. I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you met him.”
“Oh, I hadn’t planned on going,” I said as I tried to breathe through a long stretch.
“Ana, listen. I know something is going on with you and you don’t want to talk about it. You have dark circles under your eyes, and you’ve been so, so distant. Are you mad at me or something? Are you having problems at home or . . . or, I don’t know . . . ,” her voice trailed off as she stared helplessly at me. “Is it something to do with Kellin or Calix?”
“No, I’m not mad, Mel,” I breathed out, closing my eyes. “There’s nothing happening at home. I’m just going through some things right now I’m trying to deal with. It’s nothing, really.”
“Then come out tonight, Ana! Take your mind off of everything.”
