He watched them drive away and then closed the front door and fell to the floor behind it.
Hope would never know what her sincerity did to him.
He buried his face in his hands. Sarah had hugged him like that and trusted him to protect her. How could he have let her down?
CHAPTER FIVE Thomas woke in a cold sweat. He sat straight up in bed. His heart was pounding in his chest and his breath unsteady.
He ran his fingers through his wet hair and took a few deep cleansing breaths. The sun was peeking through the drawn curtains. The throbbing in his head felt like he’d indulged all night with a bottle of whisky, but he hadn’t. It took him a moment to remember he’d shared a beautiful evening with a beautiful woman, and how chaotic the night had become.
He rested his aching head in his hands. The night hadn’t quite ended as he’d thought it would have, even if he’d promised himself it wouldn’t have. How had he gone from a wonderful evening with Carissa to feeling her up like a teenager in a car to holding her baby sister all night?
The emotional shifts had him uneasy; he was tired and run down, and that had brought on the dreams.
He swallowed hard as he lay back on his pillow. His throat was sore. That meant he’d been yelling in his sleep. Thank God, Carissa had stayed at her parents’ house.
He pressed his fingers to his eyes. It was still so vivid in his head. Screaming, pain, dark places he’d hidden. His mother’s yelling, his father’s yelling, and his sister’s sudden silence made him nauseous. He kicked his feet over the side of the bed and headed to the bathroom to run water over his face. He needed coffee.
The throbbing in his head began to dull and it was then he could hear the noises that filled the house. Carissa was home. She was playing her cello. From the sound of the music, she was in a miserable mood.
Thomas gave his teeth a quick brush, pulled on his pants, threw on a sweatshirt, and headed down the stairs. Barefooted he stood just outside the study door. It was open and her back was to him. She wore a pair of lounge pants and a tank top. Her hair was wet. How long had she been home? When had he had the worst of his nightmare? He ran his fingers through his hair again. It didn’t feel the same as it had for months when he’d needed a haircut. He realized everything in his life was changing, right down to his hair. He stood silently and listened to her play.
She wasn’t playing something soft and warm, no, she was playing the song he’d come to despise even as he’d helped write the notes down on the paper. She was using the music to relieve the stress. He’d done it himself many times. Her body moved into the instrument. Her fingers pinched the strings and her hand gripped tight to the bow. He slipped into the room and headed to the piano. His hands were still itching to play. He started in the middle of the piece, where she was playing, blending his notes with hers.
Her head shot up. Obviously she hadn’t heard him come into the room. He caught her eye but never took his fingers off the keys. She put her bow back to the strings and played.
Carissa’s music was before her, but he knew she didn’t need it to play. Thomas would never need the music for the piece. Not only had he helped write it, he’d played it so many times he probably hummed it in his sleep. He hated it, though it was a beautiful piece and the people of the world seemed to embrace it. Even alone in the room with Carissa and their instruments he could hear Pablo DiAngelo belt out the words in Italian.
When the piece had ended he didn’t turn from the keys right away. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes because he could feel hers on him.
“We play well together,” she said.
“You’re an amazing, amazing woman, Carissa.” He turned to see her standing still, holding the neck of the cello in one hand and her bow in the other.
Her eyes were open wide. She tucked her lips between her teeth and looked at the floor. “I play that when I’m trying to cool down. I played it for first chair my senior year. I got it. Sophia helped me with it.”
“She’s an amazing woman too.” He backed up against the piano and crossed his arms over his chest.
Carissa nodded. She turned and set the cello in the case that lay across the large oak desk in the corner. “They’re going to have to put Katie in an assisted living home, you know.” Her voice had hitched and he knew tears were soon going to spill over.
“She’s ninety-two-years-old, Carissa. She needs more than what you can offer her. She’ll be fine.”
Carissa nodded in agreement. “I wanted to stay, but she kicked me out.” The slightest laugh escaped. “Called me a spoiled brat and told me to go home to my man.” He heard what he assumed was supposed to be humor, but she had swallowed back the chuckle with a sob.
Thomas walked up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. He felt her tremble. “You went home with your father,” he reminded her as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.
“I was afraid to come back here.” She turned to face him. “She said go home to my man. She meant you. She––“
What time was there to think before his mouth had come down on hers? He parted her welcoming lips with his and his tongue sought out hers as his hands slipped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. There was heat, just like the interrupted kiss the night before. He nipped at her lower lip with his teeth then skimmed over her jaw and neck. She tossed her head back to give him access to her throat as he pushed his body harder to hers.
His hands filled with her. Christ, what he wanted to do to her at that very moment. His head was still spinning and he was pushing thoughts from it. He would not begin to take her in that very room like his head and body wanted to do. Hell no, she deserved more. Then again, she deserved more than him.
The sweet taste of her sent him back to her mouth, his fingers wrapped up in her long, dark, wet hair.
Carissa couldn’t still her hands. She ran them under his sweatshirt and up the smooth skin of his back. God, why didn’t he begin feeling his way over her body? She wanted him, right then, and right there. When he pulled from her and rested his forehead to hers, she sighed. The sound was an angry one.
The phone began ringing, and with Katie in the hospital, she couldn’t ignore it.
She pulled away from him and stepped into the hallway to pick up the phone on the table.
She spoke to her mother, aware that Thomas was leaning up against the door listening. With a cleansing breath, she turned around to see him watching her, and her heart flipped in her chest. Oh, God, she couldn’t believe he was there. So fresh from sleep, so fair, so desperately trying to talk himself out of loving her. She could see it in his eyes. She’d seen it before.
She stood a moment longer and watched him watching her as she hung up the phone. He wanted her. There had been no mistaking that feeling when he pushed up against her. She feared he wanted more and wouldn’t give it. The expression in his eyes matched that of her birth mother, though she assumed Thomas had a different inward battle brewing. He didn’t want to love her and hurt her. Her birth mother just hadn’t wanted to love her.
“They’re coming for me in a few minutes and heading to the hospital.” She fidgeted with her hair, pulling it back with her hands and letting it fall down her back. “We’re having dinner at my parents’ house tonight,” she added.
“I remember.”
“I’d better get dressed.” She stumbled past him and up the stairs.
“Carissa, leave me directions to the hospital and I’ll meet up with you when I get showered and shaved. I’d like to see her too, if you don’t mind.”
She turned toward him and smiled at him, pleased that the man who seemed to be fighting a personal battle of compassion had found some for her grandmother, whom she adored. “I think she’d really appreciate that.”
With coffee brewed, Katie’s room number, and directions to the hospital in his hand, Thomas wandered upstairs, showered, and shaved. He pulled out his beige slacks and a crisp white shirt. He was sure there would be somewhere he could pick up
some flowers for Katie on the way to the hospital.
He bought her a beautiful bouquet of red roses at a grocery store he passed. He knew they’d bring a smile to her lips. For Carissa he purchased a single pink bud, hoping to elicit the same response from her.
Carissa’s directions were not as clear as those her mother had shelled out at the mall to get him around town, but with a U-turn and a slight detour he found the hospital.
A man and a child climbed onto the elevator with him. The boy, he figured, was about three. He held a bear in one arm and a strangled flower in the other. The man looked tired as though he’d had no sleep for days. He too carried flowers in the crook of his arm.
The little boy looked up at Thomas. “Are you taking those to a mommy too?”
“No, to a grandma.”
“I’m going to see my mommy. She had a baby. I have a sister. She’s ugly, but Mommy says she’ll get prettier. But I don’t know.”
“Little girls do get prettier, I promise,” Thomas added and the father gave him a thankful smile for the boost to the boy.
“Her name is Simone.”
“That’s pretty.”
“What would you name a little girl?”
“Thomas, that’s enough,” his father said to him.
With a whisper, Thomas looked down at the little Thomas. “My name is Thomas too.” “Just like the train, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” The doors opened and Simone’s big brother, Thomas, walked out with his father’s hand on his back.
The exchange tugged at Thomas’ heart. He once was big brother Thomas to a little baby girl. She’d turned out to be pretty, just like he’d promised little Thomas his sister would.
He was a bit uneasy as he strode toward Katie’s room. When he got there, he found he was alone with her and she was sleeping. He found a slip of paper, wrote a little note, and laid it next to the flowers. When he turned back around Katie was sitting up looking at him and she smiled. The flowers had done their job, he decided.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I’m getting plenty of that around here.”
“How are you?”
“Oh, hell, I’m fine. They just like to fuss over me like my granddaughters do.”
“They love you.” Thomas gathered the flowers and walked to her bedside. “I got these for you.”
“They sure are lovely.” She reached out and touched a petal. “Sophia brought a vase and tucked it in the closet. She must have known a handsome man would bring flowers today. Just put them in there.”
He nodded and looked for the vase.
“Grandma, I got the magazine you wanted.” Carissa fluttered into the room. “I talked to the nurse and she’s going to bring you . . .” she stopped when she noticed Katie’s eyes shift toward Thomas, who watched her in the mirror over the sink. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Just got in. Brought this beautiful woman some beautiful flowers,” he said as he turned with the roses shoved into the vase.
“They’re lovely.” Carissa’s cheeks flushed the color of the roses and a sliver of a smile crossed her beautiful lips.
Katie watched the two of them make small talk to her as if they didn’t want to talk to each other. As if they didn’t want her to know there were feelings between them. But Katie was no fool. She was an expert when it came to seeing what others didn’t.
“You know, I’m tired again. Why don’t the two of you get out of here.” She adjusted herself on the bed.
“Are you okay?” Carissa’s voice quivered as the nurse entered the room.
“Hell, I’m fine. Just want you all to leave me be. Tell your mama to go home too. Just go have some fun.”
“Okay, I’ll go find them in the cafeteria.” Carissa planted a kiss on Katie’s cheek. “I have my . . .”
“You have that silly phone and I’ll call you if I need you. Shoo!”
Carissa gathered her purse and started out the door.
“Take care, Katie.” Thomas took her hand and kissed it then pulled back to follow Carissa, but Katie caught his sleeve and pulled him back down.
“Take care of her,” she said with a wink.
“I will.” Thomas sealed his promise with a smile and followed Carissa out of the room.
“That’s my granddaughter,” Katie held out her arm for the nurse to lace a blood pressure cuff around it.
“She’s beautiful.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Katie relaxed. “They’re getting married soon.”
“That’s wonderful. How long have they been engaged?”
“Oh, they’re not. They don’t know they’re in love yet, but soon. Very soon.”
Carissa called Sophia to give her Katie’s instructions. She smiled as she could hear Sophia give a hushed curse.
“I’m leaving with Thomas. We’ll see you tonight.” She tucked her phone back into her purse and touched his arm, enjoying the way his breath caught. “It was nice of you to come by and see her.”
“I feel like she’s this legend and I finally got to know her. I’m starstruck.”
“She’s everything to my mother and to me.”
“I know.” He took her hand and interlocked their fingers. She looked up at him and smiled.
“What do you say we head over to the school and pound some nails? I really feel like that would lift my mood right now.”
Thomas laughed. He really needed to remember to pack those extra clothes for spur of the moment manual labor.
“Sure.” He opened the door for her to climb in behind the wheel and she stopped.
“What’s this?” She lifted the single wrapped rose from the seat.
“It’s for you.”
“Thank you.” She lifted the bud to her nose. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
Thomas rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“C’mon, let’s go.”
A simple comment and he had suddenly become uneasy. What surprises did Thomas still have? As much as he was taking over her every thought, she knew so little about him.
“Just a second.” She laid the rose on the dash and turned to him. “I want to thank you properly.”
Carissa raised her arms around his neck and pulled herself up to him. She skimmed her lips over his as his hands slipped down her sides and settled on her hips.
The kiss wasn’t long but its meaning went far. She bit at her lip as she pulled away and Thomas lowered his forehead to hers and rested it there.
With her wrapped in his arms in the parking lot of the hospital, Thomas realized he needed to do some mending. He’d warded off love and commitment his entire adult life. He’d promised himself he’d never fall in love, get married and—heaven forbid—he’d never have children. However, with Carissa, he felt different. As though a battle were brewing inside of him that he was afraid he wasn’t going to win.
Thomas swiped his hand over his forehead as he headed back outside for another two-by-four from the bed of the truck. For hours, they had measured, cut, and pounded nails into wood. Jeremy and Thomas framed doorways while Carissa and David built the walls that would separate the individual classrooms. He’d mentioned a theory room once more, but the eye roll from Carissa had him zipping his lip and going about his work with Jeremy in silence.
Again, his crisp white shirt was not holding up to the task of construction. From now on, he thought to himself, he’d pack a bag for spur-of-the-moment manual labor.
David sipped from a bottle of water Carissa had brought back from 7-Eleven. He wiped his brow with his hand and looked around the half-constructed walls of the school.
“When does the electrician come in?”
“Tuesday.”
“I think we’re ready for him.” David nodded, looking
around. “He should be done by the end of the week. I fly out on Friday and I’m back by the following Tuesday. That should give him plenty of time for inspections and then we can start drywall.”
“I think we’re making good progress,” Jeremy added. Carissa surveyed the school.
“Well, tonight we’ll spend some time and brainstorm
on how we’re going to run. We need to order instruments, music, chairs . . .” “Like you said,” David interrupted her, “we can talk about that tonight.” He kissed the top of her head and followed Jeremy outside to start packing up.
Thomas stepped in closer to Carissa as she continued to gaze around the school.
“Feel better now that you pounded some nails?” He absentmindedly ran his hand down her hair, which she’d secured into a ponytail with the help of a carpenter’s pencil.
“Yeah. A run before dinner and I think I’ll be ready to move on to the next step.” Her eyelashes swept upward as she looked up at him. The soft appearance of a dimple in her cheek sped up his heart rate and he caught his breath.
Thomas only nodded. He assumed she meant the next step of the planning of the school, but her tone could have been construed as another meaning altogether. He pulled back his hand and tucked it into his pocket.
Again his fingers were itching to play, which meant he was uncomfortable in the situation. He needed to get a grasp on his feelings. Either he was all in or he needed to get out.
Carissa’s run hadn’t taken the edge off her attitude as she’d hoped it would. Between the construction at the school, the planning that went into it, and her new coworker—who she was having difficulties concentrating around—she felt as though everything was piling in on her.
She’d called Katie only to have her tell her to leave her alone and spend some time getting to know Thomas. That certainly hadn’t helped the situation. So she dragged her butt back to the house after only a few miles, showered quickly, and they arrived at Sophia’s house promptly at five-thirty, which was mandatory on Sunday evening as far as Sophia was concerned. Family dinner around Sophia’s table was every week whether David was in town or not. It would be, however, the first time they didn’t have Katie there, and that broke Carissa’s heart.
Thomas had insisted on bringing a bottle of wine he’d saved from Italy. It was a celebration of sorts.
ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) Page 7
