Thomas was glad his feet were on solid ground and his work up on the ladder was finished. He wouldn’t have wanted to fall from the highest rung of a ladder to his ass when David confronted him. “Just seems like we see things differently, that’s all.”
“Yeah, her mother and I did that for a while too.”
Thomas nodded and continued following David’s lead spreading drywall compound.
“What did you do? I mean while she was gone for so long?” He was curious how a man waited ten years for the woman he loved.
“I didn’t think about it, really. Autopilot, excuse the pun.” He smiled and Thomas, still in his zone, only nodded. “I had Carissa to raise and when she came to live with me she was a handful. I sometimes wonder if Sophia had stayed, if that would have driven her away anyway.”
“Carissa was that bad?” He couldn’t imagine.
“Not in her heart.” David found his bottle of water and finished it off. He threw it into the trash can and settled his hand on the tool belt, adjusting it on his hips. “She’s always been a good kid, but she tested her boundaries. She wanted to make sure finding me wasn’t a mistake. She was seven years old and had been tossed around by her mother. Finally she found me and she needed to know if I was just going to toss her out too. As far as she knew, I’d already kicked her to the curb.”
Thomas was bound to figure out what was wrong with Carissa if he could just ask the right questions. But he’d best tread lightly.
“Why didn’t you see her before she was seven? If her mother was so bad, why didn’t you have custody of her?”
David laughed. “Sure as hell would have, had I known she existed.”
And there was her issue with trust.
David continued. “Her mother told me she was pregnant with her when she was five months along. Right about the time she told me she was seventeen.” He blew out a breath and shook his head in disgust. “Talk about thinking with your dick.”
Thomas sucked in a fast breath, but David just laughed.
“I was never that stupid again, I can guarantee you.” He leaned against one of the walls. “She thought I’d marry her on the spot, but that wasn’t what I wanted. If I was going to be someone’s father, fine. I’d take that
responsibility. I played and now I pay, ya know?” he asked as though he were testing Thomas.
Thomas nodded and hoped it was enough for David.
“Well, then she told me she lost the baby. She told me she had many medical bills, and I was more than willing to help with that. After all I was the one who did it to her, as she kept reminding me.” He took off the belt and hung it over a rung of the ladder. “After a few years I got wise. Figured she’d had enough medical bills and I went on my way. My aunt knew this girl.” His eyes lit up and he smiled. “The first time I saw Sophia I fell in love.”
Then he laughed. “Well it was the second time, but my heart flipped in my chest.”
David pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and ran it over his face.
“I met her at Jeremy’s wedding. She was cute, but young. Four years later, I was a pilot and she was the most amazing musician I’d ever heard. She’d just auditioned for the symphony. I proposed to her three weeks after we met. She said no for three years.”
“Three years?”
“She couldn’t have her own children. She didn’t want me to give that up. She felt like it was selfish to burden me with that.”
“You didn’t feel that way?”
“Hell no. Sure, I’d like to have had my own child, who doesn’t, but it didn’t matter. There were thousands of children looking for homes. We could give a couple of them a family.”
“She didn’t want Carissa when you found out about her?”
“I’m sure you know Sophia well enough to know she’s a little on the stubborn side.”
“Yeah,” he let out and then wanted to retract it, but David had nodded in agreement “She left. She thought I’d lied to her about having a child. Truth is she never stayed around long enough to ask about her. She didn’t know I’d had no idea Carissa existed. So for ten years I raised my daughter and pined for Sophia.”
“What about her mother?”
“I took her in with Carissa. She needed more help than Carissa did, and Sophia had fled. I didn’t take her back in a romantic way, but I took her in. When Carissa was ten, Mandy finally left. She’d wanted me to marry her and I refused. She wanted me to get her a place of her own. I refused. Then she tried to commit suicide by slitting her wrists. Made a damn mess.”
“And then she left?”
“More or less. She told Carissa she’d hated her since she’d been born and she was glad she had me to be a pain in the ass for. Then she left.”
“No,” Thomas breathed. And there was another piece. She had been told by a parent she wasn’t wanted. A parent who had done nothing but hurt her.
Heat rose in his cheeks. It was hard for her to trust because she hadn’t had that early in life. It was hard for her to think anyone would ever stick around because those she’d loved, or those who should have loved her, had left. First her father and then her own mother had walked out. And the scar! Oh, the bicycle accident had scarred her, but he thought back to her expression when he’d first seen it. No one believed her. He knew it.
“Carissa’s scar . . .”
“She wrecked on her bike, but anyone who had spent the few years with her mother thought she’d tried to commit suicide. A counselor at school nearly decided to have her locked up.”
“But she crashed?”
“Yep. Hid those scars until Sophia came around. I think they said they were warriors and they uncovered them.”
“The school”—he was digging for information now— “this is what she wants? This is what she’s always wanted?”
David shrugged. “She’s talked about this since she finished college. She’s a certified music teacher.” There was pride in his smile. “But she wanted to take care of Aunt Millie and Katie. I think she felt she owed it to them to be with them.”
“Millie died shortly after you were married?”
“Her cancer came back. She was with us for two more years. It hurt Carissa for a long time. Then she began hovering over Katie, who doesn’t like it as much as Millie did.”
“She’s afraid she’ll leave her too,” he whispered as if it was an epiphany. “Didn’t she ever want to play
professionally?”
“Maybe once, but I think she was afraid to leave. Afraid . . . well, I don’t know what she was afraid of. I would always have been here when she got back.”
“Are we almost done?” Thomas unbuckled his tool belt and looked around the school. No longer was it an open space. It was taking form into small rooms just as Carissa had envisioned.
He could identify the walls he’d taped and mudded. They weren’t as neatly done as those David had done. But he hadn’t stopped him, so he must have thought he could work around his unhandy work.
“Sure. Let me get my things.”
Thomas nodded anxiously.
David threw his things into the car and started the engine.
“She sure fell for you hard and fast.”
“What?”
“My daughter isn’t an easy sell. But in just over a week, you’ve won her heart. She’s so in love with you it makes me giddy.”
Thomas let out a deep, long breath. How could two people have come from such messed-up lives and think they could be good for each other? Neither one of them trusted anyone fully. How were they going to make it work between them if they couldn’t trust each other?
There just seemed something so right about them. He and Carissa really did need each other. But he’d seen the look in her eyes. He’d belittled her experiences by dwelling on his own. It was selfish, but he’d fought it his entire life. How could he possibly think he could love someone? And now he wondered how she could possibly love him back.
As he’d promised, dinner was on the table fo
r her when her last student left. She smiled as she walked through the door to the kitchen. She was sure she could get used to having him cook for her every day.
He pulled out her chair and she sat down.
“Candles?” Her eyes shifted up to his and let a seductive grin cross her lips. “Are we going to be eating like this every night?”
“If I remember clearly we didn’t eat last night at all.” He kissed her atop her head and she nodded.
“No, I guess we never did get around to it, did we?” “I hope you like tilapia. It’s got a nice lemon pepper
zing.”
“It smells great.” She waited for him to sit down and
then picked up her fork. “I wasn’t very nice to you today.
I’m sorry.”
“I dumped a lot on you last night. You needed time to
process it and so did I.”
“I don’t think any less of you. I want you to know
that.”
“I know,” he said, reaching his hand out to cover hers.
“I learned a few things today. I’m afraid of becoming my
father, yet you’re nothing like your mother.”
“Oh, I don’t know. We’re both a little anal retentive
when it comes to our music. We both hover over Katie and
Hope too much and . . .”
“Not Sophia,” he interrupted.
“Oh.” She laid her fork down and gathered her napkin
in her lap. “My dad was talking, huh?”
“He didn’t tell me anything he wouldn’t have thought
you would. I’m not sure he likes me that much.” “He likes you just fine.” She lifted her hands out of her
lap and took a bite of her dinner. “This is fabulous.” “Thank you.”
“Another skill you learned in Italy?” She filled her
mouth again, hoping to keep from talking about Mandy. “Grandmother, actually. I was still pretty young when
she died, but she taught me a few things.”
“I’m glad she did.”
She kept the conversation moving around in circles,
avoiding anything that would lead to a conversation about
her birth mother.
After dinner, they made hot chocolate and walked out
to the covered porch. They wrapped themselves in a
blanket and held each other close. It was romantic and
peaceful, Carissa thought, until he began to ask questions. “Tell me about your mother.” She tensed in his arms.
He was calling Mandy her mother and she didn’t consider
her that.
“You know my mother.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Why? Sophia is the only mother I’ll claim.” Her tone
was defensive.
“Listen.” He turned her so they would face each other.
“You landed some heavy words on me. I wasn’t looking for
love when I came here. I have never in my life considered
getting married or having a family.” Her jaw clenched
when he spoke. “Until I met you.”
“You’re just saying that because I was stupid enough
to tell you I loved you.”
“I’m telling you that because it’s the truth. We said
we’d each give a little. Now I’m asking you for a little. I
want to know about your mother.”
She gave a little grunt and sipped on her hot chocolate.
“What do you already know?”
He told her what Sophia had told him. Then what
David had told him. Carissa decided they hadn't left out too
much except . . . “Both of them neglected to tell you she
was a coke addict?”
She heard him let out a breath. “Yes, I guess they did.” “She used my dad, lied to him and to me. She bounced
me around for seven years telling me he’d left us.” She
snorted out a laugh. “Then when I find him she moves her
happy ass in.” She shook her head. “That stupid stunt she
tried about slitting her wrists just messed up my life, not
hers.”
He stroked his fingers through her hair. “You said once the only good thing she did for you and your father was
give you hope. What did that mean?”
She realized he hadn’t understood the statement at all.
“As in Hope Kendal, my sister.”
“She gave you Hope?”
“Yes.” She twisted so that her head lay against his
chest.
“That’s why you look alike. In the face, that is.
Otherwise, you’re strikingly different. You’re dark and
exotic and she’s fair and soft.”
“Exotic?”
“Oh, God, that hair, those eyes, the lips . . .” He laid a
kiss on her neck. “Have you never looked in a mirror?” “Thank you.” She let out an easy, light sigh. She
sipped her cocoa and led into her story. “She came back
when I was seventeen. The same year Sophia returned to
us. In two weeks I fell in love with her, wanted her for my
mother. She and my father mended ten years apart and fell
in love again. And then Mandy showed up.” She felt him
shift. “Mandy, my birth mother.”
“Right.”
“She was knocked up by some married man she’d had
an affair with. She’d changed her name to Kendal and used
the smooth line that she wanted her daughters to be
together because she was dying. It worked on me like a
charm and it worked on Dad too. He figured it was what he
had to do. He told me once he was afraid that if he didn’t, I
would take off with the baby.”
“Would you have?”
“I don’t know. I never had to make that decision. He
decided she deserved a home. He decided that at the risk of
losing Sophia.”
“She didn’t want the baby.”
“Please . . .” she laughed. “She’d left with Pablo and
we figured she’d never come back. But if she did, Dad would already have Hope by then. What kind of woman is met with the story hey my ex-lover had a kid. I’m going to
raise it. Wanna be the mother? and decides to stay?” “Sophia, obviously.”
“Well, she showed up just as Mandy went into labor.
The look on her face when she heard him tell the paramedic
that the baby was his . . .” She couldn’t even explain. She
took the Saint Nicholas medal that lay on her chest always
and pulled it back and forth on its chain.
“Your birth mother . . .”
“Died in labor. She never saw Hope. Everything went
as planned. She had Dad’s name. He was named in her will
as the person to get Hope. He was there, and his name is on
her birth certificate. She is his daughter.”
“And she’s Sophia’s daughter.”
“Completely.” She smiled. “She adopted us both on
the same day. I was three weeks shy of eighteen when she
legally became my mother. It was one my proudest
moments.”
“How long were they married before she legally
became your mother?” His breath was soft in her ear. “Three months.”
“She’s happy.”
“I don’t know if she’d ever have been happier.” She
continued sliding the medal back and forth on the chain
across her neck.
“What is this?” He lifted the necklace with his fingers. “It was my engagement gift.”
“Engagement?”
“Sophia asked me to be her daughter before she and
Dad agreed to get ma
rried. Her mother gave it to her.” “That’s precious.”
“I would like to think I’d give it to my child, but I plan
to have at least four of them. So who would get it? I think
I’ll give it to Hope when she turns ten. He’s the patron saint
of children. He’ll keep her safe.”
Thomas cleared his throat and shifted in the chair.
“You want four children?”
“I do.”
Carissa was fully aware of the awkward silence that
fell between them. Marriage and children weren’t even a
subject he could be a part of.
She couldn’t take away the pain and anger he felt from
his childhood. She couldn’t replace old memories or make
them go away. Suddenly she wondered if she could ever
love him enough to make him feel worthy. If she tried, she
may have to give up her own dreams. Was that worth the
price of love?
They slept in one another’s arms. Things were in the open, though still touchy. They knew things about each other.
The school was coming together. They applied texture to the walls and installed the windows and doors. Carpet and tile were next and then they would paint.
Carissa took on ten more students. Thomas started a theory class right in the study. Even Sophia found she had three homeschooled students that wanted to learn cello, violin, and viola all at the same time. They made it work. It seemed like everything was coming together.
Halloween afternoon Carissa had freed all her students to come another day. Thomas’s only student was Hope and then as promised, her sister would take her trick-or-treating.
“Hope, go up to my room and get your costume on,” Carissa called from the kitchen after she’d heard Thomas finish his lesson with her. “We’ll eat and then we’ll go.”
“Okay.” She bounded up the stairs and Thomas walked into the kitchen.
The aroma surrounded him as he wrapped his arms around Carissa’s waist and buried his face in her hair. “Fajitas? Can’t say I’ve ever had that at home.”
“Hmmm, one of my specialties.” She pecked him on the cheek.
They’d become comfortable. She refused to bring up the fact, again, that she’d fallen completely in love with him and he’d never reciprocated the words, but the feelings were there. She thought perhaps once the school was up and running he’d ease up a bit. But for now she’d settle for comfortable.
ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) Page 13
