by Simone Kelly
“You look good, birthday boy!” She grabbed my chin gently. “I like this five o’clock shadow thing. Looks rugged. Makes you look like a thug.”
“Me—a thug? Never! This is just pure neglect. Been a rough, loooong night. Haven’t bothered to shave. We’ll get into it, I’m sure. I’ll save it for the reading.”
“We will figure it out, Jacques, don’t you worry. Come.” She waved me to follow her. We passed a long hallway full of books on everything from healing, natural herbs, acupuncture, and reflexology to astrology, tarot cards, and pretty much anything metaphysical. Her library was top-notch and I felt like I could hang out in her home for hours.
Melissa led me to her den, which doubled as her spa room. It was where she did healings and readings. I walked closely behind her down the long hall.
“So, we’re talking to your mom today?”
“Yes, and I had some other things happen. Vicky left me last night.” I sulked.
She stopped in her tracks. “What? On your birthday? Why?”
“There was a misunderstanding. I feel like shit.”
“Oh no. Well, we’ll figure it out in the reading, but we’ll do your mom first, right?”
“Yes, definitely.”
There were a few floor pillows in the corner and she motioned for me to sit. Melissa lit a few white candles and closed the curtains even though there was no one in the house with us. She burned some palo santo, which I loved the smell of. Palo santo is a tree that grows on the coast of South America and is related to frankincense, myrrh, and copal. In Spanish, the name literally means “holy wood.” It clears the energy of a space, similar to the way sage does. On the floor in between us, she put a few crystals down in the shape of three circles, two circles inside one big one—what some might call a crystal grid. Melissa then closed her eyes for a moment, setting her intentions. She crossed her legs and lifted her palms to the sky, took in a deep breath, and then was quiet. Her preparation was a bit more elaborate than what I do, but whatever rituals she performs before her sessions she gets from her guides. She hadn’t steered me wrong yet.
Melissa opened one eye as she was getting deeper in grounding herself and said softly, “Do you want to record it?”
“Yes, actually, that’s a great idea.” I took my phone out and got it ready.
She closed her eyes again. “What’s your mom’s name again?”
“Marguerite Berradi.”
I suddenly felt a strong sensation on the back of my neck, like someone had just walked by me.
“She’s here,” Melissa said, her eyes still closed. “She’s right behind you.” I looked, and although I couldn’t see her I felt a presence. It felt cold.
“Mom, where are you?” I was worried.
Melissa answered in a serious flat tone, “She said she’s in a river. She’s lost and keeps wandering around. She’s been in and out of the house. But then she ends up in the water. She doesn’t understand what’s going on. She’s very confused. I don’t think she even knows she’s dead.”
I asked, “Why are you wandering around? Go to the light, Mom.”
Melissa was speaking for her. “Your father is there, I can’t face him! I can’t go there, they won’t let me in. Do you know what I did? I don’t deserve the light of God. I’ve sinned. For years, I sinned.”
Melissa spoke as herself. “Slow down. Oh shit, she is talking so fast. I’m trying to catch it all. She’s panicking. She is happy to see you and glad you can hear her because she feels so alone. She keeps talking about what she did. Hold up, What did you do, Marguerite?” Melissa was quiet for a minute. “No, no, where are you going?” She slapped her thighs. “Dammit! She is walking away from me. It’s dark wherever she is. Water is flowing everywhere. It’s so dark.” I started to fear that Melissa was going to lose her.
“What did you do, Mom?” I pleaded, looking at Melissa. I wanted her to say it already. I hadn’t told Melissa about the journals or the poisoning, because I wanted to make sure she would be 100 percent objective.
Melissa was channeling my mother even stronger now and her eyes were open as she stared blankly at the crystals. She said slowly, in a sad voice, “I did the best I could as a mother. I couldn’t love him anymore. I couldn’t love him for who he became. You were right. All those years, my sweet baby. You were right. Your father saw your gift. I shunned it. But I can’t face him now, not ever. I have sinned. I was so selfish.”
Melissa came back as herself and sounded alarmed. “Wait, hold up, did you . . . Oh man, did she murder him? I can feel it. The fear and guilt in her soul is unbearable.” She grabbed her stomach. “I feel it in the pit of my stomach. She won’t say it, but I feel it. I can’t see how. Not with her own hands, I’m feeling. Whatever she did, it wasn’t direct. She looks wet, soaked, from her shoulders down, she is so depressed. She is surrounded by shadows,” she said sadly. “My guides are saying it’s her hell. She made her own hell!” The hairs rose on my arms. I watched in disbelief, but I knew Melissa was on the money. I felt the same thing. The irony was that Mom was in dark, cold water, not the fire that her church envisioned.
“She poisoned him,” I said. “Then he drowned in the bathtub. He must have passed out and slipped under the water. I think that is why she is in water. I saw her almost drowning in my nightmare I told you about.”
Melissa agreed. “She definitely manufactured her own hell. I’ve seen this a few times. It’s terrible how people punish themselves.”
“My dad always came in visions, saying he forgave her. Even when I was a little boy. I don’t know why she doesn’t remember that. I would always tell her that and get slapped.”
“That’s a good idea. Let’s call on your dad. Maybe he can coax her into the light, you think?”
I was hesitant. “Well, his name is Olivier. Olivier Berradi. Not sure if he will help. He said he forgave her, but he also was pointing the finger at her. Like he wanted me to get answers, closure.” I was excited to see what Melissa would pick up about my father. I really missed him.
“We won’t know until we try. Let’s give it a shot!” She held my hands and said, “Say his name with me three times.” We did it together and as I closed my eyes, I felt a jolt go through me. I heard a large mechanical sound, like a big machine turning on and off. Boom! Boom! It was coming from behind the house.
“Whoaaaaa, Nelly! He’s a fucking powerful dude. That was my generator! The electricity just shut off and on for a minute. That doesn’t happen every day. Only when I read really high-level folk.”
“Wow, that’s what that sound was?”
“Yep! Ohhh, he’s really proud of you. Really, really proud. He’s clapping. He was trying to get our attention! What a show-off.” She laughed.
I heard in my ear, “That’s my son!” It was as if he were right next to me. I started to smile and goose bumps formed on my scalp and all the way down my arms and legs.
“He is happy you stayed on your purpose, you are constantly rising. Everything you touch will turn to gold, he says.”
I felt overwhelmed with love. I could actually feel the love in the room. I got warm all over. I began to well up and just couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I miss you so much, Dad. I miss you sooooo much! Thank you for always talking to me, for believing in me, for loving me so much to show me the truth. Don’t ever stop, please don’t ever stop talking to me.” Melissa handed me a box of tissues. “Mom is gone, please help her. I know what she did to you; you didn’t deserve it,” I cried.
Melissa spoke for him: “Son, it was a part of my process. I had to play a part in your mother’s growth. She played a part in mine. We are souls that are always growing. Do not worry about your mother. She is going through her process.” Melissa grabbed my hand and spoke as herself again. “Come ‘in’ with me, see if you see anything. Your mom is closer now, but her back is to me, she is terrified of your father. She doesn’t want to face him.”
“We have to send her to the light. Dad, please take Mom w
ith you,” I begged.
Melissa repeated, “Can you take her to the light, Olivier?” She smiled and got a tissue for herself. “He said yes and reached out his hand. She is walking toward him reluctantly.”
“Mom, go with him,” I pleaded. I held on to Melissa’s hand, with my eyes closed, and the strangest thing happened. I started to see what she was seeing. It was like we were watching a movie together with our eyes closed. Our energies meshed together and it was as if I were in her mind. I saw a dark watery tunnel and my mom was at the end of it with her back to us. Then I saw a big bright light in the distance. It was blinding, yet beautiful. It was filled with yellows, greens, and blues; it was almost like looking through a kaleidoscope. I saw my mom walking toward the light and a hand reaching out. I couldn’t see my father’s face clearly, but his spirit was tall and strong like I remembered him.
Melissa said softly, encouragingly, “Keep going, Marguerite, come on. . . . You will be fine.” She sounded like she was cheering on an infant who was taking her first steps. “Everyone loves you there, you are forgiven. You are safe. You will still have work to do, but you will be safe. You will be warm, out of that water.” She grabbed my hand. “Can you see it, she’s walking faster, she’s innnn, she’s innn, she’s crossed over!”
We both sighed with relief. I said, “My guides just said to me that they won’t be together for a while.”
Melissa agreed. “Yes, she is on a lower level of spiritual development than him. The universal ‘law of progress’ ensures that, at some time in the future, those with lower vibrations will eventually graduate to the higher spheres. He’s way up there on another plane. He’s amazing, your dad. Very high-level being. I mean, if he’s turning off electricity and shit! But she, on the other hand, has a lot of fear and guilt to work through.”
“You are amazing. I mean amazing. I can’t believe I saw what you saw when we held hands.” I wiped my eyes, trying to pull myself together.
“Yes, I am surprised we never did that before. I do it all the time with other seers. It’s pretty wild, huh? I once had a medium buddy whose baby brother died of a drug overdose twenty years ago. He was also a drug dealer and did a lot of bad things. Fighting, stealing, you name it. When I tried to cross him over, he was still in the hospital—in his mind! He was pissed off, too, like ‘What the fuck, you are just asking about me now? No one has come to visit me all this time. All this time!’ He was losing it and had no clue he was dead.”
“Wow, that is insane,” I said.
“Yeah, we finally crossed him over, but first we had to convince him that he was not in the hospital anymore.”
I said, “I had one who was drugged up, but someone did it to her. It was like poison, too, but not sure what it was. It was pretty sad. It was a client’s grandmother. She had been dead for more than thirty years and the story was that she was the town get-around-girl and a drunk. They claimed she wandered off to the beach drunk and drowned. The wild part is the client didn’t tell me that until after I spoke to her dead grandma.
“First thing she said to me was, ‘I was kidnapped, raped, and left to die. I was dragged here.’ It was one of the most chilling readings I ever did. It was so sad. She led a dark life, too, so was on a lower level, but she was surprisingly crossed over. They never did find out who killed her, but it was at least confirmation that it wasn’t her fault.”
“Man, we need to work for the cops, Jacques!”
“Well, so funny that you say that. I am now very good friends with some private investigators. Some folks at the detective agency down the hall from my office. It’s called Like a Fly on the Wall. They hinted they might need me in the near future. If it’s some high-level medium stuff out of my scope you know I’ll call on you to help out.”
She said, “I’d love it! Anytime, Jacques! You know I love catching the bad guys! Shit, you know I’m still in the zone, let’s stop chatting and finish. Vicky . . . let’s get her next.”
“Yeah, please tell me what to do! I fucked up. I won’t lie. I didn’t go all the way, but something happened.”
“Something, what, you kissed someone?”
“Weeeeell, a little more than kissing.”
“Oh God, what?”
I shrugged my shoulders and pointed to my crotch. “It’s a client, too.”
“No! What, she slobbed the nob?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Come on, why did you have to put it like that? A nob is an insult.”
Melissa laughed. “Sorry, they just showed me. I didn’t want to see it, but they showed me. You in a dark closet.”
“Well, close . . . it was in the bathroom, during the blackout. I had a weak moment. I stopped it before it got worse. Well, the lights came on, to be exact. We were really saved by the lights.” A guilty grin came across my face from that heart-stopping memory.
Melissa took a deep breath and began staring at her crystal grid. “Shit . . . Vicky is hurting. She is a wreck. She doesn’t know what to believe now. You’re gonna have to give her a minute. You can try to explain, but she won’t listen. Why not write her an email and she can read it when she is ready? Explain everything and don’t lie.”
“Even about the bathroom incident?” I cringed at the thought. She’d never trust me with a client again.
“Well, yeah . . . but you don’t have to give details, just say maybe a client crossed the line, and you are sorry but it didn’t go further. Again, now is not the time to push her. In a month or two she will be missing you and will forgive you.”
“A month or two? I didn’t realize how much I loved her until this shit.” I didn’t want to wait that long to see her again.
“Well, Jacques, maybe it’s time for that next step. If she is willing to work it out.”
“You mean marriage?”
“Yep. There is a beautiful light around the two of you, just not fully ready to bloom. Give it time.”
I felt hope and knew instantly what she meant. The light was a feeling of protection, a feeling of unconditional love.
“Okay, well, that’s good news. Glad you don’t see her rolling up on any of us with a gun.”
“No, you know better than to pick crazy chicks like that,” Melissa reassured me. “Your brother—I know you didn’t ask about him, but he keeps coming up in my head. They are showing me his spirit. But it’s crazy, it’s like two people inside of him. Like he’s fighting against himself. He’s very angry. I almost hear a . . . a . . .”
“Hear a what?” I egged her on.
“A growl. Like he’s possessed with something. A dark energy.”
“Well, there’s a few things going on with him. He just found out that my dad is not his dad. That he’s all white and not part African—hence the two personalities. Not to mention his bad temper, and I think he has a problem with drugs and alcohol. He tends to go from high to low, almost bipolar, but he hasn’t been diagnosed or anything. He’s actually part of the reason Vicky found out about my mistakes. It’s a whole long story, but he set me up for my birthday to get damn near raped.”
“Raped?” She looked concerned.
“No, no, I am exaggerating. It was a massage, with these two beautiful girls.”
“Wait, two girls? Wow, that’s a nice birthday gift. I’m gonna have to have my girl get me that.”
“I actually left midway through the whole ‘massage.’ It got a bit risqué, then one of the girls showed up at my birthday party because Hicham invited her and she was flirting hard with me . . . with Vicky standing right there. She knew I had a girl. Later, my brother was teasing me about her liking me. Vicky heard the tail end of the story and also went through my phone and found all the other stuff. It was a disaster!”
“No, not your phone! That’s just disrespectful. Why do women keep doing that? I keep telling my clients, keep digging and you will find something.” Melissa shook her head.
“Your brother is trouble. Seems like he doesn’t even know it.”
“Are you still picking him
up?”
“Yes, something is definitely off.”
I said, “I will bring him to you if I can, before he leaves town for New York. Maybe you can clear out his aura.”
“Yes, he might need that. He could have some spirit hanging around, like a walk-in spirit, if he isn’t bipolar, that is. You know how it is if you are checked out with drugs or alcohol, spirits feel like they can hang out in your body. They cling to you like Velcro. I’ve been working on a lot of vets who come back with PTSD. Many of them have had a walk-in. It’s like nobody is home, when you look in their eyes.”
“Oh, I’ve had the talk with him about the dangers of being on drugs and also being around the low-vibration folks he hangs around. He just thinks it’s all superstitious bullshit and too ‘woo-woo’ for him. I’ll try to sage him down when he’s asleep. Maybe on his last night you can have dinner with us?”
“I wish. My girlfriend comes back from Guatemala tonight. She was seeing her family. I gotta get some things together and cook. Keep it a happy home.”
“Okay, well, that’s important. Don’t do anything stupid like me. You know what’s so sad?”
“What?”
“That you are probably the only female friend Vicky is never jealous of. She used to say, ‘Oh good, she’s a lesbian, she won’t want my penis.’”
“Oh now, that’s funny! Well, Jacques, I’ll be at your office next week, same time we usually do? Friday at one P.M.?”
“Yes, I got you booked.”
“I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday week. Oh, one minute. I got a gift for you!”
She went to a bookshelf and got a blue gift bag and handed it to me with a smile. Inside a gold mesh drawstring bag was a medallion with a black tourmaline crystal wrapped in silver with a silver chain. “Wow, this is very, very nice. How did you know? I’ve been thinking about getting something like this!”
“Oh, I don’t know. Some of my friends say I’m kinda psychic.” Melissa laughed and hugged me.
“Oh, Melly, you didn’t have tooooo.”
