“No,” Helene said. “But whatever you said or did to her, she hasn’t been herself these past few days. I am not certain allowing you to see her would be a good idea.”
Clare bit her lip, wondering just what Edward could want with her now. He’d made it clear that he intended to move on with a new keeper. It seemed all had been said and done, yet here he stood, all but begging Helene to be allowed to see her.
“I just want the chance to make things right. She’s capable of deciding for herself whether she wants to see me.”
Helene looked ready to protest again, but curiosity got the best of Clare and she made her presence known by clearing her throat, the sound echoing down to the entrance hall. Two heads tilted upward, and her aunt grimaced at the sight of her, while Edward took on a look of sheer determination.
“CeCe,” he said, his voice heavy and thick as if he were as overwrought as she felt.
He looked ghastly, with dark circles showing beneath his eyes and his mouth pinched. From where she stood, he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. Could that be due to guilt, perhaps?
“Edward,” she replied, fighting to keep her voice neutral. “You wished to speak to me?”
He nodded, taking a few steps toward the stairs before halting as if uncertain. “If you’ll hear me out. It will only take a moment, I promise. When I’m finished, you are welcome to throw me out. Just…please listen to what I have to say.”
She traded glances with Helene, who gave an exaggerated shrug as if to say, ‘the devil if I know what you should do.’
Clare knew she had no choice but to speak with him. Words had flown between them so fast and without much thought the last time they spoke, and there were so many things to hash out. Most of all, she couldn’t stand to let him leave without finding out why he’d come. The wondering would drive her mad before long.
“Very well,” she said, gesturing for him to come upstairs.
His shoulders sagged as if in relief, and he climbed the steps, then preceded her into the study. Closing the door, Clare leaned against it and watched as Edward paced away from her, then back to the center of the room.
Running his fingers through his mussed hair, he heaved a sigh and plunged ahead. “Hypothesis: if a man loves a woman but is uncertain she feels the same, said man convinces himself he stands no chance for a real future with her. Conclusion: the man is an oblivious dolt.”
Her stomach began tying itself in knots, her mind latching onto the first words he’d said. It was a wonder she’d heard the rest of it, because that first declaration echoed and resounded through her with overwhelming force.
If a man loves a woman…
“I’m sorry for what I said when I thought things were different. Even if I believed that, I should never have been so callous. It’s just that…the thought of being with you, seeing you every day and loving you so much it hurts would kill me by degrees. I couldn’t agree to more months, more years, without wanting more from you, Clare. And I do want more. I want everything, even knowing I have absolutely nothing to offer you.”
Wringing her shaking hands, she stepped away from the door, coming closer and peering deep into his jade eyes. “I had told myself the same thing—that you couldn’t possibly feel what I felt after so short a time. But, then I decided more time could change things, that eventually the ‘more’ I wanted would become possible. I was willing to take that chance, and I didn’t care about the money or your circumstances. It’s all just peripheral nonsense, Edward. The only thing that mattered to me was you.”
Cupping her face with both hands, he leaned down until his forehead rested against hers, his gaze burning into hers with an intensity that left her breathless.
“I love you. It shouldn’t surprise me that it’s happened so swiftly, because that’s what you’ve done since the moment I met you, CeCe. You took me by surprise and you’ve continued to do so every day I’ve known you. I know I am not a good match for you. I’m the impoverished owner of a shipping company with an uncertain future. I have very little money that hasn’t been sunk into Norton & Rivers. I met you as a desperate courtesan whose last resort was to warm the bed of a woman I didn’t know just to be able to feed my family. I—”
“You are selling yourself short,” she interrupted, reaching up to put a finger over his lips. “All those things might be true, but you’ve forgotten a few other important details. Such as your willingness to accept me as I am when so many other people have shunned me as an oddity. And there is your strength under duress, where many other men would have watched their lives fall down around them in despair. But, you discovered a way to make things right for your family, and no lengths were too great. Then, there is the most important thing of all: that your efforts brought you to me.”
He smiled, then pressed a kiss against her fingertips. “That, I will never regret.”
“Do you know what a geode is, Edward?”
“No, but I’d love for you to explain it. You know how I feel about all those scientific terms.”
She huffed a laugh, but then grew serious once more. “A geode is a rock that looks rather plain and unremarkable on the outside, but when sawed open, it is revealed to contain minerals inside—amethyst, quartz, jasper, celesite, the most beautiful crystals you’ve ever seen. That is what I think of when I consider how all this has happened. I viewed intimacy as being akin to that plain rock—nothing special, something I could live without. But you opened up an entire world of possibilities to me, and now I can see deeper. I can see everything I would have missed had I passed you over like some common bit of stone. There is nothing common about you, and you have more important things to offer than material comforts. I have possessed those things my entire life, so I have no need of them from you. But there are other things I need, and I only want them with you.”
He took her into his arms, and she sank into his embrace, all her previous hurt and fear melting away. She realized now that the proposed second contract should never have happened. Had she been brave enough, she would have simply told him the truth of her heart and trusted that it would lead her to where they were now. But, they’d both made their mistakes, and now was the time for making things right.
“Say it again,” he whispered between kisses, his teeth playfully nipping at her lower lip. “The first time you said it, you were angry and hurt. I want to hear it again without all that tainting it.”
Threading her fingers through his hair, she placed a swift kiss on his lips, the tip of his nose, then right between his eyes. “I love you, Edward. I love you madly, deeply, and truly.”
He captured her lips again, tightening his hold on her and lifting her off her feet. She clung to him wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, groaning as his nearness stoked a desperate desire in her. It had only been days since she’d seen him last, but she was starved for him—for his touch, his kiss, his voice whispering words of love and scientific expressions into her ear.
“I’ve a hypothesis for you now,” she said as he sank into the nearest chair with her, arranging her comfortably on his lap.
She curled up against him, fitting her head beneath his chin and nuzzling his neck. He stroked a hand down her back and kissed the top of her head.
“What’s that, love?”
“If two people who love each other and never want to be parted, they will be married as soon as possible.”
Tipping her chin up so she looked him in the eye, Edward gave her that heartwarming, boyish smile she’d come to love more than any sight in the world.
“Conclusion: the man and the woman will live happily together until death do them part.”
* * *
Edward winced as he took in Benedict’s reddened face and thunderous countenance. Hugh had offered to sit in on the final meeting between the two men while they hashed out the reasons for Edward parting ways with the Gentleman Courtesans. As he had assumed, Benedict was not thrilled by the news of his and Clare’s upcoming nuptials
.
“Let me ensure I understand you correctly,” Benedict ground out, cool blue eyes narrowed murderously at him. “Miss Dunnaby was just here a week ago to sign a new contract, after which she wrote a bank draft for a substantial amount of money…and now you are here to tell me that instead of being her courtesan you are now going to marry her?”
Shifting in his chair, Edward crossed one leg over the other. “Well, that’s putting it a bit simply but, in short, yes.”
Benedict fairly seethed, his knuckles turning white as he balled his hands up on the surface of his desk. “So now, not only am I short one courtesan as well as one of the most lucrative contracts this agency has ever seen, I must now ensure future clients understand that this is a courtesan agency and not a fucking matchmaking service.”
Edward and Hugh both flinched as his voice rose on the last few words, fairly shaking the small secret office off the back of Madame Hershaw’s dress shop.
“Ben, this does not have to be as bad as you are making out to be,” Hugh reasoned. “Miss Dunnaby seems like a discreet sort, so I highly doubt she will go about telling everyone how she met her fiancé.”
Benedict snorted and rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d think of it as being that simple. But the fact of the matter remains that your job as a courtesan is to bed your keeper and make her happy enough to keep us all flush in the pockets. If all of you start getting it in your heads that you’re in love and want to marry your keepers, we’ll be ruined within a year.”
“I understand your position entirely,” Edward replied. But none of this was done on purpose, and I certainly never thought that entering into this agreement would lead to me finding the woman I want to marry. I won’t pretend to regret a bit of it, because I don’t.”
“Of course you don’t,” Benedict snapped, waving a dismissive hand in Edward’s direction. “I gave you the chance to better your circumstances, and you gain a wealthy heiress in the bargain.”
Edward came to his feet, having reached the edge of his patience with Benedict. He would admit the man had a reason to be a bit miffed, but he’d just gone too far.
“Her fortune had nothing to do with it, so I’ll thank you not to imply such again.”
Benedict scoffed, rising to his feet and inclining his head at the door. “Get out of my sight. Inform your betrothed that her bank draft will be burned and she needn’t worry I’ll deposit the funds. If you whisper a word about my agency or mention the names of myself or Hugh, you won’t live to see another day.”
Taking hold of his arm, Hugh drew Edward toward the door. “Come, it’s best to leave him alone when he’s like this. He’s angry now, but he will come to see reason soon enough.”
Edward put the other man behind him, not giving a damn if Benedict ever stopped being infuriated with him. They’d never been more than acquaintances, and aside from being responsible for bringing Clare into his life the Gentleman Courtesans had only ever been meant to be a temporary part of his life.
Exiting the modiste’s shop through a back door, he and Hugh stepped out into an alley, then followed it out onto Cavendish Square. Hugh turned to him then, a wide smile on his face.
“I suppose congratulations are in order,” he said, extending a hand to Edward. “Can I expect an invitation to your wedding?”
Edward accepted Hugh’s hand for a shake, his mood lifting now that he was out of Benedict’s presence. How could he feel anything other than joy at knowing Clare would be his wife in the near future?
“The banns will be read for the first time this coming Sunday,” he replied. “And of course you can expect to be invited. You are partially responsible for me finding CeCe, after all. Though, I do hope this does not cause a rift between you and Benedict. You did vouch for me.”
Hugh waved this off and cast a glance in the direction of Madame Hershaw’s. “He can’t stay angry with me forever…I’m one of his best courtesans. Perhaps I’ll avoid recommending any new men in the future.”
“That might be best,” Edward quipped. “Thank you, my friend. You helped me when I was at my lowest point, and I will always be grateful to you for that.”
“Think nothing of it. I know how it feels to be desperate, so I was happy to help. I look forward to receiving that invitation.”
With that, they parted ways, Hugh heading off God-knew-where and Edward making his way home. Caroline was waiting for him to convey her to Clare’s townhouse, where his sister and his fiancée would meet for the first time. His sister had been elated to learn that he was soon to be wed and couldn’t wait to meet the woman who would become her sister-in-law. Apparently having two brothers had left her longing for a female sibling, yet another good thing to come out of this marriage. As he loped along searching for a hackney coach, Edward decided nothing but good things could come from a union with the woman he loved. For the first time in years, his future seemed brighter and more certain than ever.
Chapter 11
The wedding of Miss Clare Dunnaby to Mr. Edward Norton occurred on a warm day at the end of spring, an intimate ceremony held at St. Martin-in-the-Fields. Jacob stood with Edward as the best man, while Clare’s friend Gillian had arrived from Sussex just in time to act as a maid-of-honor.
Clare had walked down the aisle on the arm of Helene, whom she had asked to give her away for lack of a living father. It might be a bit unorthodox, but Helene had been her sole parent for most of her life. It wouldn’t have felt right to have anyone else walk her down the aisle to her waiting groom.
Edward’s face had transformed into a mask of delighted shock and awe as she’d approached, wearing a gown of pure white net laid over powder blue silk and adorned with minimal flounces of blond lace along the hem. The white netting fell open at the front to trail behind her as she walked, white gloves covering her to the elbow. In her hands she held a bouquet made primarily of her hybrid Lilium, which had bloomed with the most pleasing effect. They had the hardy composition of the Madonna lily with the brilliant colors of the tiger lily—fading from bright orange at the center to brilliant white at the tips of the petals, with the tiger lily’s signature black spots adorning them proudly.
He’d been resplendent himself in black with white linen, a blue waistcoat matching her gown and offering relief from the stark colors. His eyes had shone with open admiration and love as she’d met him at the altar to join him in the recitation of their vows.
The ceremony had been followed by the wedding breakfast in what was now Edward and Clare’s new Town residence. Clare had been reluctant to part ways with Helene, even if her new home was only a few minutes’ carriage ride away. But, her aunt had insisted that she would get on just fine living alone, even joking that it would be easier for her to engage in her clandestine affairs without Clare underfoot.
“Besides, I shall have plenty of excuses to visit you whenever I wish. After all, I expect to become a great-aunt soon.”
Helene had also revealed that apart from her inheritance, there was still a dowry that had been left by her father. At her shock upon learning this, her aunt had simply shrugged and informed her that she’d never given up hope that Clare would someday wed. The inheritance she’d gained had been a separate arrangement, to become hers at the age of twenty-one whether she was wed or not. Which meant they now had the perfect solution for the problem of Norton & Rivers. While Edward had confessed to not liking the idea of using her dowry to finish paying off his debts and inject more capital into the line, Clare had been firm that she wouldn’t marry him unless he agreed to do just that. Thanks to her inheritance, she now had more money than she could ever spend in a lifetime, and he had no reason to feel guilty over all of it becoming his now that they were wed.
Caroline would take up residence with them, and Jacob had been convinced to abandon his bachelor’s lodgings as well. Edward had recently taken his brother on as a protégé, teaching him the ins and outs of the business as he worked to rebuild it from scratch. The sign outside the dockyard office now r
ead: Norton & Norton Line, with the anticipation that once Jacob knew what he was about, he would come in as a full-on business partner.
Gilly and Randall had returned after receiving their invitation to the wedding. They had convinced Clare and Edward to accompany them on their travels once a secretary was hired given the business was becoming stable enough to do without constant management. They were soon to be off to the fossil-rich coast of Devon, a place Clare had always wished to explore. It would be a wedding trip of sorts, one that struck Clare as being more perfect than one of the fashionable destinations. Walking the moors and staring over rocky cliffs with her new husband would be the most romantic experience of her life.
After a long day of eating and toasting over champagne, then seeing their guests out, Edward and Clare had spent the afternoon resting and recovering from their whirlwind of a wedding and enjoying the freedom of being together in their own home.
That evening, she left the washroom adjacent to their bedroom to find Edward waiting for her before the hearth with a small wooden box in his hands. Joining him near the warmth of the fire, she gazed at him and allowed adoration to overwhelm her. She didn’t think there would ever be a time she could look upon him without her stomach erupting into mad flutters or her blood heating with desire. The firelight made his hair gleam like bronze, his eyes appearing like dark emeralds in the dim lighting of the room.
“I have a wedding gift for you,” he declared, extending the box to her. “It took me weeks to find just the right thing, but when I saw this I knew it was perfect.”
Thinking of her own gift nestled in the pocket of her dressing gown, she smiled. “What a coincidence. I have something for you, too.”
“Mine first,” he insisted, his gaze alighting with excitement as he watched her open the box.
Nestled inside was one of the most stunning watches she’d ever seen. The outer casing was made of brilliant gold ringed with iridescent pearls, in the center of which sat a vivid enamel painting of an angel surrounded by billowy white clouds, her wings outstretched . She opened the watch to find a pristine white face, and more of the perfect pearls and delicate gold hands ticking away the minutes. From it hung a chatelaine made of large pearls adorned with gold.
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