by Sharon Sala
Jade nodded. “Several times. He’s the one with the pointed beard.”
Earl shuffled through the stack until he found the drawing. She’d drawn an interpretation of the Devil, with Solomon’s face.
“Okay,” he said softly, then leaned over and awkwardly patted Jade’s knee. “Miss Cochrane…Jade…I’m as sorry as I can be that this happened to you. But to flush out the killer, I may need to release this information to the press.”
“No,” she said. “Please, no. People will think I’m—”
“A miracle,” Luke said, and then pulled her close to his chest. “Think of the children you may be saving by doing this. If these bastards are still alive and not behind bars, I can guarantee that they are still molesting.”
There was a moment of silence while Jade thought about what Luke had said; then her good sense faded as she focused on the sensation of Luke’s arms around her and the rumble of his voice against her ear.
“Jade…answer me, honey.”
She shuddered, then looked up. “Do what you have to.”
Earl Walters took the drawings and left without looking back.
Fifteen
Once Jade had confessed to the shame of her past, it seemed as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew that there might be a lot of gossip and curiosity from the press, but she no longer cared. Sam hadn’t thrown her out in disgust, and Luke already knew and hadn’t turned his back on her. For now, it was enough to get her through whatever else would come.
And another strange thing had occurred during her conversation with Earl Walters. When he’d taken away her drawings, Jade felt as if her guilt had gone with them. The burden of keeping the abusers alive in her mind was no longer needed. The police chief would make sure that justice was served in some way or another. All she cared about now was putting Raphael to rest.
Antonia DiMatto could tell that the need for her presence at Sam’s house was past, at least for now. She began gathering up her things. She wanted to talk more with Jade, but now was not the time. Delving into the hell that had been her childhood would have to come after all this was over.
“Are you leaving?” Sam asked.
Antonia glanced at Jade, then nodded. “Yes, but I’ll be back…when your daughter is ready. Won’t I, Jade?”
Jade sighed. It was obvious the woman was determined. She was also right. It had to come when she could face it. Right now, she had yet to face the fact that Raphael was really gone.
“I’ll let you know,” Jade said.
Antonia smiled. “See? She’s just like you, Sam. Everything in its own time.”
Sam glanced at Jade, then took Antonia by the elbow.
“I’ll see you to the door.”
“I’ll be expecting your call,” Antonia told Jade, and then waved goodbye.
As soon as they were gone, Jade turned to Luke.
“Will you take me to see Raphael?”
Luke had known this was coming, and, truth be told, he would rather have taken a beating than do it. But he couldn’t tell her no.
“I’ll have to check with the police first and see if—”
“I have to see him.”
Her eyes were swimming in tears and her lower lip was quivering, but there was a finality in her voice he couldn’t ignore. Every time he thought he had a handle on this woman, she blindsided him with nothing more potent than a look or a request.
“I’ll make some calls.”
“Thank you,” she said.
She started to sit down, then lifted her hands to her face, running them over her features as a blind person might do in order to see.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked.
“I feel lost…almost weightless. Raphael was my rock…my anchor. I feel like I need to cry, but I can’t. I’m empty. This doesn’t seem real. Last week we were fine. At least, I thought we were fine, but it seems I didn’t know him after all. I still can’t believe he was sick for so long and didn’t tell me.”
“He was afraid for you, Jade. And I think he was afraid for himself, too. If he had ever admitted aloud how sick he was, he wouldn’t have been able to deal with your pity or his own fear. You not knowing was part of what kept him going.”
For a while Jade was quiet; then she finally nodded.
“In a strange way, I guess that makes sense.”
“I’ll go make those calls now,” Luke said.
“Luke? Wait!”
“Yeah?”
“How much danger am I in?”
“I don’t know, but I’d guess enough.”
“Maybe I should leave to keep from putting you and Sam in harm’s way, too.”
Shocked, he grabbed her forearms, yanking her toward him. “Hell no! Promise me you won’t do anything like that.”
“Promises are nothing but words. Action is the only promise I believe in,” she said, then pulled out of his grasp.
Luke reached for her again, needing to make certain that she understood the seriousness of what she’d just said.
“Look at me! Whoever killed Raphael isn’t through. You want to face him alone?”
“No, but saying that makes me feel like a coward. Before, I let Raphael stand between me and the world because I didn’t want to face what had happened to me. I kept telling myself it was in the past and that I was over it. Except I wasn’t. The faces…they haunt my dreams. I’ve let the memories keep me from living a full life. Every time I got spooked, we ran. Raphael kept trying to tell me there was a better way, but I wouldn’t listen. You don’t understand. I feel like I’ve killed him, and if something happened to you or Sam, I couldn’t bear another man’s death on my conscience.”
“His death is not your fault, and staying in one place would not have changed Raphael’s fate. He began dying the day an infected pedophile had sex with him. And if you haven’t thought about it before, it’s nothing short of a miracle that it didn’t happen to you.”
“How do I know it hasn’t? I haven’t been tested.”
“Then we’ll have it done today, okay?”
Jade sat with her head down, staring at the floor. Finally she looked up at Luke.
“Do you see what I mean? How ugly is that?”
“How ugly is what?”
“That I’d have to be tested for diseases before…” Suddenly she stopped, but Luke knew what she’d been going to say. She felt guilty that she would have to be tested before she even thought about trying something that, for her, was frightening—dangerous—like falling in love.
“No man is ever going to want someone like me.”
“Well, that’s blatantly not true,” Luke muttered, then changed the subject before she realized he was talking about himself. “Look, honey, what happened to Raphael was horrible, and he paid for it with his life. I don’t know how Raphael felt, but if it had been me, I would rather have died fighting as he did than lie in some bed waiting for weakness to claim my last breath.”
A stillness settled over Jade as she thought about what Luke had said. She knew he was right. It was just so frightening to accept that someone from their past wanted them dead. She heard a phone ring in another part of the house and wondered how long it would be before that sound didn’t make her think of disaster.
“I’m afraid,” she said.
“I know,” Luke said, and wanted to hold her.
“No…not like what you’re thinking,” Jade said, and then looked away, as if embarrassed to admit what was in her mind.
“Then what?” Luke asked.
“I’m afraid of going after what I want out of life.”
Luke frowned. “How so? What is it that you want that you’re afraid you can’t have?”
“I want someone to love me.” Then her voice broke. “Like a man loves a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I want to be happy, not afraid. I’m so tired of always being afraid. I want children, but I don’t know if I could be a good mother. I don’t even know what good mothers do.”
He sat there with his heart pounding, wanting to tell her someone already loved her, but the knowledge was so painfully new, and he was so afraid of being rejected that he didn’t think she was ready to hear it. Not yet. Maybe never.
“Did you and Raphael ever talk about getting married or having children?”
She frowned. “You mean together?”
He nodded.
“No…never. He was like my brother…my best friend…but we could never have been lovers. We’d seen too much of each other’s pain.” Then she took a deep breath. “And now I need to see him, if for no other reason than to know that for him, the pain is over. Can you understand that?”
He nodded.
“So will you help me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to change clothes. When you come back from making your calls, we’ll go see him, okay?”
Luke didn’t know what it was going to take to make it happen, but make it happen he would.
“I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Big Frank was in Nashville getting a haircut when the fishing show on the barbershop TV was interrupted by a bulletin with breaking news. There was a female reporter on the screen who was standing outside a hospital in St. Louis, Missouri, and police cars were everywhere in the background. Then it hit him—St. Louis, Missouri? That was where Jade Cochrane had surfaced. Suddenly he felt light-headed. He wanted to hear what was being said but was almost afraid of what he might hear. He pointed toward the TV.
“Hey, Sonny…turn up the volume on that thing, will ya?”
The barber complied, then went back to snipping at the shaggy length of what was left of Frank Lawson’s hair.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have just learned of a rather strange twist in the story of St. Louis’s own Sam Cochrane and the return of his prodigal daughter, Jade Cochrane. Less than an hour ago, the man with whom Jade Cochrane had been living for the past few years was murdered in his hospital room, as was the private duty nurse that the family had hired to attend him.
Authorities are still searching for clues to the identity of the killer, but right now we’re told they have little to go on.
Hospital authorities are staying closemouthed as to the deceased’s illnesses, or why the man had been hospitalized in an isolation ward. An unnamed source has told us that the murder victim was dying of cancer, but that doesn’t explain why he was under virtual quarantine.
We’ll update you with more information as soon as it becomes available. For now, all we can do is say prayers for the families who’ve lost loved ones and hope the police can track down the killer before someone else has to suffer.
This is Laura…”
Frank was so elated that he blanked out on the rest of the broadcast. Newton had done it! He’d gotten rid of one of only two people who could blow the whistle on him and screw up his chances at the governorship. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes as the barber continued to clip and snip. It wasn’t until the barber was almost through that Frank realized he’d made a slight error in his counting. Killing this Raphael person, as well as Jade Cochrane, wouldn’t do away with everyone who knew his nasty little habits. As long as Otis Jacks still drew breath, Big Frank was not safe.
“You ’bout done here?” he asked.
The barber gave Frank’s hair a last snip, then brushed the loose hair from the cape before taking it from around Frank’s shoulders.
“There you are, Mr. Lawson. You look fine…real fine.”
“Thank you, Bob. Now don’t forget who to vote for this fall.”
The barber grinned and nodded as Frank tossed down a pair of twenties and sauntered out of the barber shop.
Frank moved through the parking lot, carefully dodging traffic as he headed for his car. He needed to give Johnny Newton a quick call and see what it would cost to add one more name to the list.
At the same time that Big Frank was learning of Johnny’s success, Johnny was listening to the same news bulletin. He’d even gone so far as to get out the silencer for his handgun and strap on the knife he’d used to cut the brake line. He wouldn’t know until he got there which weapon he might use on Jade Cochrane. Hell, he might even use both.
While he was thinking about finishing what he’d come to do, Luke and Jade were getting into Sam’s car. All Johnny saw as he glanced out the window was a black Lexus rolling down the driveway with two people in it. He recognized the woman in the passenger seat and started to run for his car when he realized that following her twice in one day would be worse than careless. He had to assume that whoever she was with would be bringing her back.
Luke’s cell phone rang as he was parking.
Jade was already nervous about coming to the morgue, and the sudden and strident ring made her flinch.
“Easy,” Luke said.
Jade nodded, although it was not as simple as Luke made it out to be. There wasn’t a thing about this whole nightmare that was easy, especially this. Then she focused on what Luke was saying.
“Are you sure? Nine-point match on the prints? Yeah, I know that’s good. Three-time loser? Is his DNA on file? Good. So if it matches what was found under Raphael’s fingernails, we’ve got our perp. Yeah…thanks.”
He disconnected. Obviously Jade had heard everything that he’d said, but not the whole conversation, and she deserved to know it all.
“The brakes on my car had been tampered with. They got a couple of good prints from underneath the car and got a nine-point match on one of them.”
“What’s a nine-point match? What does that mean?”
“It means that we know who messed with my car. He’s a three-time loser…been convicted and incarcerated three times for everything from assault to assault with intent to kill.”
“And he’s not still in prison?”
Luke grimaced. “He’s been out since ’94, compliments of our screwed-up justice system. Earl also told me that the Feds believe he’s been working free-lance as a hit man for several years but can’t get enough evidence on him to make an arrest.”
“What about now?” she asked.
“We can’t put him at the murder scene…only messing with my car. At least, not yet.”
“What are you saying?”
“The laws are changing. During his last incarceration, they took DNA from him. It’s on file. If the DNA they found under Raphael’s fingernails matches, then we’ve got our man.”
“How long will that take?”
Luke shrugged. “Sometimes it can take months. Labs are backed up beyond belief. However, knowing Sam, if the cops will let him, he’ll pay to have the tests run himself. If so, we could know enough soon to either exclude him from being the killer or have enough on him to make an arrest.”
“His name…what’s his name?” Jade asked.
Luke eyed her carefully, watching her face for a sign that the name might register.
“Johnny Newton.”
“Never heard of him…but I didn’t know the names, anyway. Maybe I could see his face?”
“As soon as we’re through here, I’ll make sure to get a copy of his mug shots.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he echoed, then got out of the car and hurried to the passenger side. He opened the door, then extended his hand. “Come on, honey, it’s time to go tell Raphael goodbye.”
Jade clutched his hand while getting out of the car, then didn’t let go. They had told her nothing specific about Raphael’s defensive wounds, only that he had been strangled, so she was imagining the worst. In a perfect world, this wouldn’t be happening, but the only perfection she’d ever known had been the beauty of his face. If the killer had destroyed that, too, she didn’t think she could bear it.
Then, as if Luke had just read her mind, he bent down and whispered in her ear, “Are y
ou afraid?”
She nodded.
“Don’t be, honey. Raphael is gone. What’s left is just a shell of the man you knew. I don’t know what you believe about the afterlife, but I believe that wherever Raphael is now, his body is perfect. He’s well, and he’s home with the Father of us all.”
Jade had proclaimed for years that she didn’t believe in God; now Luke was asking her not only to believe, but to believe that the best part of Raphael was still living in a place she couldn’t see.
She didn’t argue the details with him, but thinking of Raphael like that was comforting.
“He never had a father before.”
“Well, he does now, honey. Maybe it will be a little easier to think of him that way, okay?”
She pulled her hand out of Luke’s grasp.
“Nothing about this is easy.”
Luke sighed. There was no use talking anymore. Jade was putting walls between them to buffer the pain that she was feeling, as well as that she had yet to face. He didn’t blame her. In her place, he might have done the same thing.
“This way,” he said, and led the way inside.
A few minutes later, the chief medical examiners met them and led them deeper along the winding hallways.
“We have a viewing window right here. If you’ll wait, I’ll tell the—”
“Please…not like this,” she said, and then pressed her fingers against her lips to keep from screaming. “I need to talk to him…to let him know that it’s okay.”
The medical examiner frowned, then glanced at Luke. “We’re not allowed to—”
It was the words “not allowed” that fueled Jade’s anger.
“Allowed? I’m not allowed to see him because of your rules? No! You’re the one who shouldn’t be allowed to touch him! I lived with him. I slept with him. I laughed with him.” Then her voice broke. “I cried with him. Touching his body now is not going to damage your damned investigation.”
“Let her in,” Luke said. “What the hell is it going to hurt?”
The medical examiner shrugged, then opened a door and stepped aside.
“After you.”
Luke stepped forward. Jade stopped him with a look.
