Aidan raised a brow. “And they let her?”
Chunk’s laughter rumbled out of his chest. “Let her? There was no way around her. She was adamant and when Slim tried to slip a plate past her she snarled at him, threatened to shoot him if he tried it again. Then she said that unless the rest of us wanted to go hungry, we needed to let her have a look at our wounds.”
Bloody hell, what had she been thinking? Granted, nobody was likely to shoot her with him on board but they all outweighed and overpowered her.
“She must have been terrified.”
“Not that you’d know it.” Chunk chuckled. “She held her ground and eventually we all got what we wanted.”
Aidan shook his head. He couldn’t imagine it. If there hadn’t already been a mutiny she could have very well caused one.
“Nobody said a word to me,” Aidan muttered.
“Truth be told I think they enjoyed being fussed over.” Chunk tucked his tongue into his cheek. “Her hands are soft and she smells nice.”
A fist of jealousy slammed into Aidan’s gut. He hadn’t seen Sarah much after the burial. She’d gone below to help Slim then later had come up on deck—the main deck, not where he’d been—and stood at the gunwale looking out, silent and unmoving. She hadn’t stirred until he’d gotten Lucky to take the wheel and moved toward her. Just as he’d approached she’d turned, wished him good night, and disappeared into his cabin. He hadn’t seen her since. Now he wondered if perhaps she’d fled so quickly because one of the men had grabbed her or hurt her and she hadn’t wanted to burden him. By God if they had he’d—
Chunk cupped Aidan’s shoulder. “You can get that look off your face, Cap’n, nobody touched her.”
Aidan nodded, forced his muscles to relax.
“All I meant was that the men appreciated her tending, especially since we all know we did nothing to earn it, given how we’ve treated her.” He waited until Aidan nodded then lowered his hand. “We have, however, come to a conclusion.”
He was almost afraid to ask. “And what would that be?”
Chunk grinned. “That she’s adopted.”
Aidan’s laugh burst from his lips. “I’ve thought the same thing myself.”
Chunk sobered. “A woman like that is rarer than that treasure Nate and Claire found all those years ago. Be a shame to let it slip away.”
It was Aidan’s turn to be serious. “Just because you find a treasure, it doesn’t make it yours. I’ll be back in a few hours. If I’m not here at sunrise, come get me.”
“Aye, Cap’n.”
He’d meant what he’d told Chunk. Sarah wasn’t his. She deserved a man who would put her first, who would love her as she deserved to be loved. Aidan knew he wasn’t that man. Yet despite having told himself distance between them was essential, he headed directly for his cabin. While he could argue that he’d rest better on a bed rather than the deck, he knew the real reason. Even knowing she wasn’t his to keep, he needed to be near her. Since leaving Captain’s they hadn’t had a moment together and he’d missed it. He missed her closeness, missed talking to her, hearing the goodness in her voice. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, feel the silkiness of her hair slide through his fingers.
He eased the hatch closed behind him, crept down the ladder.
Despite only having had the ship a handful of days, Aidan had spent enough time on the Revenge and in the cabin to find his way easily to the bed without the benefit of light. Even if he hadn’t known it as well as he did, he’d only have needed to follow Sarah’s soft breathing, which drew him like a siren’s song.
Aidan pulled off his boots, coat and weapons, set them aside and crawled in behind Sarah, who was curled on her side facing the wall.
She shrieked, the sound jolted Aidan and pierced his ears.
“It’s me, only me,” he soothed.
“Aidan.” She exhaled. “You scared me to death.”
He’d scared her? She’d taken a few years off his life as well. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Chunk’s taken the wheel and I need to get some rest.”
“Oh, yes, of course. Shall I go, then?” she asked.
Despite the day she’d had, how much she’d given of herself, she was still prepared to sacrifice her own sleep in order for him to have some. God, why couldn’t she be like Roche?
He reached out, caressed her cheek. “Please stay.” It was selfish of him to ask and yet impossible not to.
“Are you certain? I thought—” He felt her mouth move beneath his hand and knew she was worrying her lip.
“Thought what?”
“That you considered me soiled now that we…”
He tipped his forehead against hers. “Is that what you thought? I never once considered such a thing. When I said it in Tortuga I only meant your father might see it that way. I certainly don’t.” He remembered how she’d given him her innocence with complete trust and faith. He looked at her. “I’ve never met a finer woman. There’s nothing soiled about you.”
The bed dipped and squeaked as she moved closer. His heart began to thump and his blood heated. He would not respond, he hadn’t come to make love with her; he’d come to hold her. Hold her and rest. But her fingers tempted him, dancing across his cheeks, over his temples and plunging into his hair. Her mouth was close; he felt the moistness of her breath. Desire poured through him even before her lips took his. Once her sweet mouth was on his, desire turned to need.
He hadn’t considered himself helpless since Sam had saved him from Mr. Grant but in Sarah’s embrace, with her smell intoxicating his senses and the feel of her stealing every thought that didn’t include her, Aidan felt his control slip from his grasp.
She tipped her head back, inviting his mouth on her neck. God, he loved how soft her skin was there, how she trembled when he nuzzled behind her ear.
“Sarah,” he whispered as he nipped his way up the column of her throat. “I didn’t come for this.”
He could have bitten off his tongue when she stiffened, tried to push him away. How did he keep hurting her when it was the last thing he wanted to do? Aidan took her hand, raised it to his lips. If only it weren’t so bloody dark he could read what was in her eyes.
“I truly did come to sleep. I don’t want you thinking I came here with any expectations.”
She was silent a long while then softly said, “Is it wrong if I have some?”
“Hell, Sarah.” He groaned. His hand tightened on hers. Like a man slipping off a cliff, he dug in, tried once more. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
She pulled her hand from his, tugged his shirt from his trousers and splayed her hands around his waist. He squirmed and only partly due to being ticklish. Her hands were warm on his flesh, soft and tender. For a man who made his life in piracy, there was little tenderness to be had.
“I want you to lie with me, touch me.”
Aidan bore down on his lust, fought not to take what she was offering. He had no more to offer this time than he had before. The Revenge and being Steele were his dream and he was no more prepared to let it go now than he had been earlier.
He grabbed her wrists, pulled her hands from under his shirt. It was bloody hot in his cabin yet the moment she no longer touched him he felt cold.
Keeping to his promise of always being honest he took a deep breath. “I care for you, Sarah, a great deal. It’s why I was so quick to get dressed…after. When I’m with you, it’s so damn easy to forget everything else but no matter how much I care for you, want you, it doesn’t change the facts. I’m Sam Steele. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and it’s selfish and unfair to take what you’re offering when I have nothing to offer in return.”
There, he’d said it. He hadn’t choked on the words, though it had been close and he could do with a gallon of water.
She maneuvered her wrists free only to grasp his hands. “Aidan, we could be dead tomorrow.”
“Thank you for your confidence,” he said wryly.
“I’m sor
ry, but it’s the truth. We don’t know how far behind my father is or how soon he’ll catch us. If we’re lucky we’ll make it to shore first, if not…
“I planned my escape because I’d already lived nearly eighteen years as a prisoner. I swore to myself that if I ever got out, I’d not take freedom for granted. I would savor every moment, good or bad, because either way it was more than I’d had before.”
Damn it, he was lost. It didn’t matter what else she said, he knew he wouldn’t refuse her.
Because he’d never had someone like Sarah Santiago in his life before and he, too, intended to savor. He kissed her brow, her nose.
“Tomorrow is uncertain. Life is uncertain. But my wanting to lie with you? I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
He didn’t deserve her, and he knew taking her again would only make leaving that much harder for both of them. He took her mouth anyway, kissing her long and slow while easing her onto her back. Her hands stroked him, chest and shoulders before slipping into his hair. He couldn’t get enough of her taste, of the feel of her body against his, of the mewing noises she made in the back of her throat. Even the navy wouldn’t be able to drag him away now.
Because this would be their last time together, Aidan lingered. She was smooth, so exquisitely soft. Her hands, neck, shoulders, he kissed each as he undressed her, exposed her to his touch. Up the inside of her arm, down the sides of her torso until her flesh quivered beneath his mouth. She moaned his name, dug fingernails into his shoulders. He continued his seduction, giving her legs and the back of her knees his undivided attention. She writhed, begged. Stoked the fires in his blood until he thought the flames would come through his skin. She reached for him, fingernails catching his arousal. Aidan hissed and nearly came undone.
He needed her. Surrounding him. Surrendering to him. He wanted it all. Needed it all.
He entered her hard and fast, catching her cry in his mouth. She was wet and ready and, thank God, because he was beyond stopping. Holding him, murmuring his name, rising to meet him, Aidan knew nothing had ever felt so right. Every kiss made him yearn for more. Every touch of her hand on his body drove him faster, harder. Her whispers and pleas fueled him, filled him. Racing for the precipice, Aidan wished he could hold the moment forever, where he had both Sarah in his arms and the title of Sam Steele. For there, in that moment, was perfection. But the ledge rushed up and, helpless to stop it, Aidan tumbled over it.
Sarah snuggled against his side, her hand rested on his heart. “Thank you.”
She’d given him everything and she was thanking him? He gathered her close, held her tight and pressed a kiss to her brow.
Every Captain Steele has fallen in love on board of the Revenge.
Those words once again came back to taunt him. This time, however, they didn’t bother him. He already knew and acknowledged that he’d fallen in love with Sarah. No, falling in love no longer scared him. What scared him was the fear that he wouldn’t be able to let her go after all.
Sarah’s body went soft; her breathing slowed and evened as she fell asleep in his arms. He knew he should do the same but despite the weight of his eyelids and the fatigue pulling at his body, his mind refused to be silenced. Visions of saying goodbye to Sarah alternated with those of him watching the Revenge sail away without him at the helm. Aidan refused to accept either reality yet one loomed near in his future.
If he was lucky.
If he wasn’t, Roche and his armada would be upon them come morning and all his worrying would be for naught as there wouldn’t be a future to worry over.
On that cheery thought, Aidan closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Sarah awakened the moment Aidan stirred. She was loath to move, to let reality intrude. Here in his cabin, safe and secure in his embrace, nothing and nobody else mattered. In the darkness, she could pretend it was only the two of them and they had their whole lives together to look forward to.
If only it were so simple.
But Aidan had obligations and dreams that didn’t include her. And despite knowing so all along, she couldn’t stop the unbearable pain that filled her chest at the thought of saying goodbye to him. She’d known his heart lay with Steele when she’d all but begged him to take her and she wouldn’t cry and hold him to anything. No matter how much it cost her not to.
Reaching through the darkness, she brushed her fingers over his stubbled cheeks. She’d always thought him attractive with his whiskers that weren’t quite a beard.
“Were you able to get some rest?” she asked.
He turned his head, kissed her palm. “Enough.”
His curt response told her everything she needed to know and she struggled to hold onto the vow she’d just made. “Our respite’s over, isn’t it?”
His sigh echoed her regret. “I’m afraid so.”
She said nothing as he padded through the cabin and lit the candles on the table. Light and shadows danced over his body as he bent to retrieve their clothes. Shamelessly, she watched him, trying to memorize every plane of his chest, every ripple of muscle across his shoulders. Her cheeks flamed as the studied the firm curve of his backside, saw the faint red lines her fingernails had left behind. They’d fade, she knew, just as his memories would. Eventually, he’d struggle to remember her face, the sound of her voice. She had to look down when he returned with her clothing.
“Thank you,” she said.
By the time Sarah trusted herself to look at him, he was dressed. After tugging on his boots, he removed the cover from Carracks’ cage she’d placed before going to sleep.
Carracks, unaware of the tension building in the room, bobbed on his perch and nipped at the bars with his black, shiny beak. Aidan dropped a few nuts into his bowl and the parrot happily hopped over to the food.
“The moment we see your father on the horizon, I want you here. Take the covers and pillows and hide under the bed.”
As Aidan’s back was to her, Sarah slipped from the covers and began dressing. “Surely, they’ll think to look there.” She pulled the shirt over her head, reached for her trousers. “After all, they know I’m with you, either he or his men will turn this ship upside down looking for me.”
Aidan peeked over his shoulder first, then turned when he saw she was clothed.
“I’m not after hiding you; I’m after keeping you as protected as I can once the cannons start firing.”
Sarah’s hand went lax and the shoe she’d grabbed thudded to the decking. “You think he’s going to fire while I’m aboard? He wouldn’t want me hurt. Not when he’s spent my entire life protecting me.”
Aidan finished tying his sash and crossed his arms over his chest. Of the shirts she’d seen him wear, she preferred him in this black one.
“I told you before he may now see you as soiled. One woman, a ship full of men?” He raised his brow. “You said yourself you’ve felt like a possession, a link to your mother. I’d say he kept you locked up and protected to keep you virtuous, pristine. If he no longer sees you in the same light, maybe he won’t feel the same about you either.”
“You truly think my father will attack with me aboard?”
“I think we need to prepare for every possibility. You said yourself you knew he’d come after me, whether you were aboard or not.”
“Come after, yes, but I thought he’d negotiate my return before he did anything else.”
Aidan’s laugh held no humor. “If there is one thing your father does not do, it’s negotiate.”
Sarah sat heavily on the bed, her emotions waging a battle within her. While it made no sense, it hurt to think of her father disowning her simply because she’d bedded a man. She hadn’t murdered anybody, hadn’t destroyed lives. She didn’t feed off the pain of others the way he did. She could hate him and want nothing to do with him; it was justified. But she’d done nothing to him. To think he could fire upon her without even speaking to her, or trying to save her…
Aida
n crouched before her. “You knew what kind of man he was,” he reminded gently.
“Toward others.” She pressed her fingers into her eyes. “I’m so naïve. I know he’s coming after us, but I believed he’d try to save me first. I thought, when he did, I could find a way to buy you time, or an advantage.” She shook her head. “It was stupid. I was stupid.”
Aidan grabbed her wrists, lowered her hands. “You’re anything but stupid and you being naïve and kind is what makes you special.”
How was it a heart could feel full and warm and empty and cold at the same time?
“What can I do? I want to help.”
“When it’s time, come down here and do as I’ve asked. Protect yourself so I can concentrate on what I need to do. Promise me.”
She’d do anything for him and she easily gave her word. He passed her shoes and she slid them on, buckled them.
“I’d like to ask one thing, if I may?”
“What’s that?” he asked as he stood.
“That I stay with you on deck as long as it’s safe.”
He reached out a hand. “As long as it’s safe, there’s no place else I’d rather you be.”
With her chest tight, Sarah put her hand in his.
“It’s going to be all right,” he reassured.
No it wasn’t and both knew it. And, as Sarah followed Aidan up the ladder, she cursed both her father and the name Sam Steele.
Because both had broken her heart.
But only Steele would take hers with him when this was over.
*
The sky had lightened from black to deep blue but remained too dark to see the horizon. Relief eased the tension in his shoulders. There was time yet. He’d steal these moments like a thief slipping his hands into pockets, grasping everything he could.
It was what he’d done last night when Sarah had asked him to be with her. He’d taken the offering, cherished it. He’d known it wouldn’t last, known they were borrowing time. Now the time was nearly gone and his mind raced with how he could stop it, change it. He’d never been one to back from a fight. A boy couldn’t grow to a man on a pirate ship and not enjoy the battles, but with this one there would be no winner.
In the Arms of a Pirate (A Sam Steele Romance Book 2) Page 23
