"This is a stupid question, but what did you do with the money?" Alexis asked.
Joan Olsen started to cry. "I spent the first money paying my tuition and rent. I never touched the rest. It's in the bank. I just couldn't bring myself to spend it. I was going to try and send it back to the Evans family. I didn't do that, though. I'm sorry about all of this. I really am."
"That's it! Or is there more?" Kathryn demanded.
"There's more. That bitch said she wanted me to have another baby and that the pay would be doubled. I ripped her a new one and shoved her out of my apartment and told her never to come back or I'd report her to the police. She threatened me with the Internet again, said she knew all the judges and lawyers in town, that kind of thing. I said I'd kill her if she did that, and I meant it at the time."
"And now?" Annie asked quietly.
"I'm hoping you do it for me," the surrogate said bitterly.
"Give me your bank account information," Nikki said. "If you really haven't spent the money, we'll go easy on you. If you lied, oh, well!"
"Don't believe a word she says!" Adel Newsom sputtered. "She jumped at the money. She tried to hold me up for double what she was offered."
"Yeah, right. The money's in the bank. Be my guest. Take it and give it back to the Evanses."
"You're up next!" Yoko said, prodding Donna Davis.
"My story is the same as hers. I spent the money. I bought a car." Donna Davis rattled off her bank account information, then said, "I have eight hundred fifty dollars in the account. Take it if you need it."
Myra motioned to the other Sisters that they should all head for the kitchen.
"Guard," Kathryn and Alexis said in unison. Both dogs barked as they circled the foursome, their ears straight up, tails between their legs, the ruffs on their necks on end. Murphy growled deep in his throat. Not to be outdone, Grady showed his teeth, which were pearly white and awesome looking.
"If the surrogates are telling the truth, I say let them go," Myra said. "My gut feeling is they got caught up in this and couldn't find a way out. If Newsom and the other lawyers she sicced on them threatened them with the Internet and exposure, the Olsen girl was right. No one would hire them. I've read horror stories about how things that are posted can ruin a person's life. They got caught up in a web. We could take the Davis girl's car, sell it, give the money to whomever it belongs, confiscate the Olsen girl's account, and be done with the two of them. I can almost guarantee they'll both take the bar exam and disappear forever. That's my thought. Do any of you agree with me?"
Seven hands, including Maggie Spritzer's, shot into the air.
"Let's go back in there and crack Newsom. She's the key, and she'll turn on Bell in the blink of an eye," Nikki said. "At least I hope she will."
Annie was an avenging angel as she marched into the dining room. She stood tall and hovered over their guests, who were reclining on the floor, their eyes full of fear. "Listen up! You've already seen what this little stick of dynamite is capable of," she said, motioning to Yoko. "Now, let me tell you what the rest of us are capable of. Myra, dear, will you do the honors? Our guests need to see what's in store for them. First one who talks gets a pass."
Before Myra could even begin her demonstration, Newsom pleaded, "You have my records. I don't have anything more."
"I'm not telling you anything, and I don't have any records. I've done nothing wrong. I demand you let me go. I'm due at the White House to play Santa in a few hours. They'll send out a search party for me."
"You are a pathetic little wimp, Mr. Bell," Kathryn said. "First of all, give it up. No one is going to come looking for you, and when we do get around to notifying someone to come get you, after we're finished with you, you will be in no condition to do or say anything. So, tell us where your records are right now, give us your bank account information, and we'll rethink that Santa Claus bit."
"Screw you and the horse you rode in on," Bell bellowed.
"I thought you were going to say that." Kathryn sighed. "Myra, he's all yours!"
Chapter 15
Jack Emery bolted upright, unsure what had awakened him. He looked around, but Ted, Espinosa, and Harry were still sound asleep under mounds of covers and pillows in front of the fireplace. He looked down at his watch: 4:00 AM. He looked over at the fire, which was still burning nicely but could use another log or two.
What was it that had woken him up? The landline hadn't rung. None of the guys were snoring. There were no animals in the house to make noise. Was it the total quietness? Did the house creak? Old houses, and this was an old house, made strange noises from time to time; settling, the old-timers called it. Jack looked toward the bay window and realized what it was that woke him. Blue and red flashing lights were arching off the walls. "Shit!" he groaned. The flashing lights could mean only one thing, the locals were out, and he was certain four horses would be waiting for him outside his front door.
Careful not to disturb the others, Jack untangled himself from the pile of blankets and padded over to the window. He blinked at the long line of ambulances he was seeing. He counted six. He looked around for the horses but couldn't see any. What he did notice other than the flashing lights was that it had stopped snowing. "Thank you, God!" he whispered.
After checking to see if the landline was back in operation, Jack made his way back to his sleeping buddies. He whistled sharply between his teeth, then bellowed, "Look alive, guys! I think the babies are here! There are six ambulances that I could see. There might even be more. C'mon, c'mon, up and at 'em, gentlemen!"
Harry sat up and did his best to smooth down his spiky hair. "You better not be telling me those goddamn horses are out there. Do we have time to shave and shower?"
"There are no goddamn horses out there that I could see," Jack answered. "That doesn't mean they aren't out there, Harry. I don't want to lie to you and have you grind me to a pulp over an error. No, you do not have time to shower and shave. You can, however, freshen up if you feel it's absolutely necessary. Chop-chop, guys."
"Eat shit, Jack," Harry snarled as he looked around for his boots and outerwear.
"This is a hell of a way to start the day," Ted grumbled. "Are the phones working?"
"No, nothing's working yet, but it stopped snowing, so that's a plus," Jack replied.
"I hate to ask this, but do we have a plan?" Espinosa inquired.
"Nope! Well, maybe we do, but I don't know what it is. Yet."
"I want to know where the horses are," Harry said, petulance ringing in his voice.
"Well, guess what, Harry? I do not have the answer to that question, and I don't give a shit if you like my answer or not. Get your ass in gear and let's go. Those people are waiting for us over there. We have a job to do, so let's just grit our teeth and do it."
"I never thought I would hate you at four o'clock in the morning, but I do. Do not come near my person at four in the morning ever again. Do you hear me, Jack?"
"I do, Harry. I really do. You have my solemn promise that I will never go near your person at four o'clock in the morning. Ever again. Right now you are not my favorite person either, but I am willing to put that all aside and overlook your surly attitude considering our current circumstances and the hour. The translation to that, Harry, is, you can eat shit, too."
"Will you two just knock it off already before one or the other of you kills someone, and Espinosa and I have to be witnesses," Ted said, stomping his way to the door. "I can't believe these damn phones are still out," he mumbled and muttered to anyone interested in listening to him.
"Whoa! Hey, be careful out here. I can't find the steps! Damn, the drifts are over the tops of the cars. Tread lightly, boys!"
It took them a full twenty minutes to slog their way three doors down to Maggie's house, where they were greeted by the leader of the caravan of ambulances. He introduced himself as Archie Trumble, one of Snowden's men. "Mate, I am so happy to meet up with you. They're all yours now, and I can't say I'm sorry t
o get rid of this particular delivery. We just unloaded the last of the supplies. Good luck, mate!"
"Hey, hold on. Don't we need a little more information than you're not sorry to unload this particular delivery and all the supplies are in the house?" Jack asked, a worried frown building on his face.
"Nope, that's it. We just deliver. We have to get these ambulances back to where we...uh...borrowed them from. You following me, mate?" At the stupid look on Jack's face, Trumble said, "There's a crisis here in town, the ambulances are needed, and we stole them. Now, are you getting it?"
"Yeah, yeah. So are the nurses inside? They have it under control, right?" asked Jack.
"Not exactly, mate. Like I said, there is a crisis here. That means when all the power went out, we weren't able to arrange a pickup of the nurses. We're damn lucky we got the babies. They're all safe, and now they're your responsibility. No more time for chitchat, mate. See you in the funny papers."
Jack's jaw dropped as he watched first one ambulance, then the ones behind it, peel away. "Oh, shit!" He ran as fast as he could to Maggie's front door, where the boys were waiting for him.
There was panic in Harry's voice when he said, "I don't see any nurses, Jack. Where in the damn hell are the nurses?"
"So you're going to blame me for that, too! That schmuck in the lead ambulance said they just deliver. He kept saying there was a crisis and didn't we know it. They stole those ambulances, and now they have to take them back. Open the damn door already, Ted!"
Once Ted got the door open, the men dashed inside the house and skidded to a stop when they stared into Maggie's living room. Row after row of babies of indeterminate age were laid out, tied in bundles like papooses. All but one were wailing at the top of their lungs. Jack wanted to sit down and cry. Ted just gaped and chewed on his lip. Harry, Jack could tell, was somewhere in outer space.
Espinosa, however, was grinning from ear to ear. "I think I probably qualify as the person with the most experience where babies are concerned. I grew up in a family of eleven kids. I had to change diapers, bathe, and feed the little ones. So, for starters, let's get the heat turned way up, square away the diaper supply and the food, which in their case is formula since we have no breast-feeding surrogates in attendance."
Jack reached for Harry when it looked like he was going to black out. "Okay, Espinosa, you are officially in charge. Tell us what to do. How the hell do you get them to shut up?" he bellowed at the top of his lungs.
"You feed them!" Espinosa yelled. "We'll heat the bottles in the microwave. I think you can do that if you take the nipples off the bottles."
"You THINK!" Jack bellowed again. The babies continued to squall, even the one who had been previously quiet. "Their faces are red. What's wrong with them?"
"They're pissed off. That's what's wrong. They want to eat. Babies eat on a schedule," Espinosa explained. "I thought everyone knew that, even you, Jack. Come on. We have to warm up this milk. We'll worry about changing their diapers later. They squeal when they make messy poo poo."
"Poo poo?" Harry said, sliding to the floor, his eyes glazed.
"That's what you call it in polite company. Wouldn't want the little ones to hear nasty words," Espinosa answered.
Shaking his head in disbelief, Ted ran to the kitchen, his hands and arms full of bottles. "How long, Espinosa?"
"Thirty seconds," Espinosa called. "Then you squirt it on your arm to see if it's too hot or not hot enough."
"Yo, Harry, either you look alive here, or I'm telling Yoko you are not father material!" Jack said. "Just do what Espinosa says, and we'll get through this. C'mon, Harry, you can do this. Okay?"
Ted ran into the living room with the first batch of warm bottles.
"Lesson one-oh-one. Listen up. This is how you do it. The bigger babies at the ends of the lines can have their bottles propped up," Espinosa instructed. "Go, gentlemen!"
The ear-piercing din in the room lessened by six as the babies sucked greedily.
"Here's six more bottles," Ted shouted, getting into the swing of things. "Oooh, next batch coming up!"
"This one is finished," Harry said, getting into gear. "Oh, my God, I think it wants more! He's making a fist, and his face is getting red."
"He might be making messy poo poo," Espinosa commented. "Kind of soon, though. He probably just has gas. You have to burp him. Put him over your shoulder and pat his back. When he burps, lay him back down and give him more. He's not a sack of potatoes, Harry. Hold his head. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Good going, gentlemen! I am so proud of you!"
The only sound to be heard in Maggie's living room was the sound of contented babies burping.
"Hey, Espinosa, how often do you have to feed babies?" Jack asked.
"At the rate we're going, after the diaper change, they'll be ready to eat again. You have to wait ten to fifteen minutes so they can do messy poo poo. It's pretty warm in here now, so the bottles might get to room temperature and we won't have to warm them up. When a baby wants to eat, he wants to eat. Mothers can anticipate their child's hunger. I don't know how they do it, but they do. Mothers are the most wonderful people on this earth."
"Kill him now, Jack, or I will. Why can't you just say after they crap in their pants? Huh? Why can't you say that? We're grown men. We understand about crapping in your drawers. No one says messy poo poo. No one!" Harry bellowed.
"Because, Mr. Wong, that's what my mother used to say, and to repeat, your terminology is offensive sounding. I hope you get a really smeary one," Espinosa sniped. He walked along the rows of wide-eyed babies, who were staring up at the four giants towering over them. "Did we all burp?" he asked cheerfully.
"Mine all burped," Jack responded just as cheerfully.
"So did mine," Ted said proudly.
"Harry?" Espinosa said threateningly.
"All but this one," Harry said through clenched teeth. "Why is he holding out?"
"Shift him a little higher so his belly is on your shoulder. Pat him just a little harder," Espinosa replied.
Grimacing, Harry did as instructed. The loud belch ricocheted around the room. Harry looked at the little bundle in awe. He nodded to Espinosa to concede that he was indeed the undisputed authority on babies.
"How old do you think these kids are, Espinosa? How are we going to know which kid belongs to which set of adoptive parents?" Jack asked.
"They range from about two months to maybe six or seven months. The ones here at the end can almost hold their own bottles. They're all wearing ankle bands. See, the kid's name is on each one. It will be up to the girls to figure the rest out. Maggie has the list, and she knows who belongs to whom. She was supposed to call all the adoptive parents earlier today. I don't know if she did or not, since our phones went out."
Suddenly all the cell phones in the room rang, pealed, chirped, or sang, as did the phone in the kitchen. The babies as one started to howl their displeasure at the invasion of their solitude. And there was no shutting them up.
When the four giants moved off in different directions, the babies howled louder.
"I have to go, Nik. I'll call you back," Jack shouted.
"I had it under control until you called, Alexis," Espinosa shouted.
"What? What? I can't talk now. I have to clean up messy poo poo," Harry cried. "You heard me!"
"Wow! That took guts, Harry!" Jack said before he danced out of the way.
"Listen, Maggie, I don't care how big the bonus is, this sucks. Cats I can handle. Cleaning a litter box I can handle. I cannot handle shitty diapers. Good-bye and do not call me again," Ted said, slamming his cell shut.
"Suit up, men, it's diaper time!" Espinosa announced. "Look alive here. These are onesies. They're for the young little ones. These are threesies, these are sixies, and these bad boys are for those chunky ones at the end. Take your pick. For those of you who are not experienced in this endeavor, pay attention. Boys pee up, girls pee down, so unless you want a snootful, cover the boy's doohickey until you are ready
to button him up. I'll give you a brief demonstration. These are called Wet Ones. You wipe their bums and their...privates with them. You then discard all the Wet Ones in this bag right here. Messy poo poo stinks after a while. Watch!"
Ted, Jack, and Harry watched in awe as Espinosa carefully undid a baby's diaper and reared back. "This is what I mean by a smeary one. You use your wrist, making sure you get everywhere you're supposed to get, and then you lift up this end, slide the diaper down, tug it into place, peel the tabs, and wallah, the baby now has on fresh pants."
"Oh, God, I don't want to do this. I can't do this!" Harry pleaded.
"Just breathe through your mouth, Harry," Jack said as he swiped and wiped and peeled. "Two down. You need a bigger sack here, Espinosa," he said when he was finished with his fourth diaper.
"Coming right up! See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"
"I bet we could streamline this process," Ted said.
"Shut up, Ted. If it ain't broke, we ain't fixing it. We did it. And it only took us twenty-five minutes. That's one minute per baby. Well, maybe nine-tenths of a minute, since there are twenty-six babies here," Jack said. "When do they go to sleep?"
"Usually after they get their bath, but we aren't going to be doing any bathing, so relax, gentlemen. Although, I have to say, it is a very rewarding and bonding experience. That's why I am so close to my brothers and sisters. So, to answer your question, any minute now they should be nodding off." Espinosa pointed to the two babies at the end of a row who were already sleeping peacefully.
16. Deadly Deals Page 16
