“I know. I know. It’s just...I’m scared.”
I force her eyes to meet mine.
“I love you, Avery Cooper. You are the only person in this whole damn world who I have ever loved. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I don’t care how much distance comes between us. You are the one thing in my life that I’m sure of. The only thing that matters to me. And I want to be able to give you the life that you deserve. What I’m doing here, it’s not just for me. It’s for us.”
“I know, Eric...you keep saying...”
“Big house, flashy car.” I grin down at her, as she rolls her eyes high and swats my stomach.
“Yeah, yeah. Heard that a few times too.”
“Big house, flashy car, big ass ring on my baby’s finger. Giving you any damn thing in the world that you want. That’s what I’m doing this for, don’t forget that. This is for you. It’s all for you.”
“I don’t need any of that stuff, Eric. I just need you.”
“And you’re still gonna have me. Always.”
Our eyes lock, as I pull her into me.
“Nothing is ever going to change how much I love you, Ave’s. Nothing. I don’t care how much distance is between us. You’re it for me. Remember that.”
I try to ignore the questioning look in her eye. She’s hesitant, and I know it. I also know that most relationships like ours don’t work out.
But those people do not have what Avery and I do. I love this woman, with every ounce of my being. And nothing in this entire damn world is going to change that.
So, she can go ahead and think what she wants to.
But as for me, I’m just going to focus on what I need to do in order to give her the kind of life that she deserves.
Chapter 10
Six years ago
Avery
I swallow hard, trying to force the ball of nerves that seem to be sitting right inside of my throat down before I vomit.
Literally, I feel like I could throw up, right now.
It can’t be true...it just can’t.
Yet deep down in my heart, I totally know that it is.
I can just feel it.
When Eric first went away to school, everything between us stayed the same. I’d fall asleep on the phone with him every night, letting my eyes close as his voice would wash over me, telling me how damn much he loved me.
Things stayed like that for months. Even though we were miles apart, I still felt like I was a huge part of his world.
He put in so much effort, letting me know that I was always on his mind.
I don’t even know that I can pinpoint exactly when things began to change. It was more of a slow progression until suddenly...things began to fall apart.
One morning, he didn’t call me to tell me that he loved me. And then, the next night? Same thing. Ever so slowly, he began to call me less and less...
Until I received a phone call this morning that completely stopped my heart from beating.
It was pretty ballsy of that girl to call me...damn ballsy if you ask me. And while I appreciate the fact that she had enough character to let me know that she had slept with my boyfriend, still.
It doesn’t ease the pain in my chest.
I swear to God...I can’t even believe that I’m in this position. I have no idea how we got here...to this place, and the feeling that it gives me is so damn awful that I can barely breathe.
I can actually feel my heart breaking in my chest, and with each deep breath that I take, I feel the shards spread throughout my body.
The pain is so real...so harsh, that I almost can’t stand it.
My heart is so broken that I truly feel physical pain.
And it’s pretty much the worst feeling ever.
I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. I totally am.
During the entire eight-hour drive here, I’ve gone back and forth so many times, through every conversation that we’ve had, to every time that he’s told me how much he loved me.
Has it all been a lie?
Not even a full month ago, I had heard a rumor that he was cheating on me. I had immediately called him on it, and he had sworn up and down that it wasn’t true.
I had tried so hard to believe him, and I had even decided that if he had, I could maybe give him another chance.
Call me young and stupid, that’s fine. But good lord...I just love this man so much.
But this...again?
Is this how the rest of my life will play out? Me constantly hearing rumors, and him always having to defend himself?
And really. How many times can you hear the same story and not believe it?
I park my car outside of his house, the same house that he shares with the rest of the guys on the baseball team.
It takes me a full minute to calm down and stop the shaking in my hand enough to open my door and climb out of my car.
I walk slowly, on wobbly legs up the sidewalk until I am standing at his front door. I hesitate, with my hand on the doorknob, before taking a deep breath and walking inside.
I am strong enough to handle this, I tell myself, even though in this moment, I’m not feeling very strong at all.
I continue my pep talk until I’m standing right outside of Eric’s door.
“Ah, oh shit.” One of the other baseball players nearly runs into me in the hallway, his eyes widening as I reach for the door.
“Avery, oh, huh.” He tries to quickly jump in front of me.
“Eric isn’t here.”
“No?” My eyes fly to his, and he nods furiously, trying to grab my hand away from the door handle.
“Nope. He’s at practice. You know, if you head to the field right now, you might be able to catch him.”
My intuition kicks into overdrive at the panicked look on his face.
“Really?” My hand pauses on the knob. “If I left right now?”
“Yeah.” He tries to force himself in front of the door, and, if I didn’t already know, this move just completely gave it away.
“Bullshit,” I mutter, before pushing past him and turning the knob. I step inside of the room, and if my heart hadn’t already been shattered?
Well, the sight before me would be enough to do it.
I can’t even cry...can’t really do a damn thing except stand here, watching the scene in front of me play out, almost as if it were in slow motion.
My hand flies to my mouth, as a strangled scream leaves me, and both heads snap in my direction.
The woman’s legs drops from around Eric’s shoulders, and he flies backward, his now limp dick falling out of her, as his eyes widen.
“Avery. Oh, fuck.”
“You asshole.” It barely comes out as any sound at all, getting stuck behind the huge lump in my throat. I spin on one heel, running as fast as my legs will carry me, down the steps and out the front door of his house.
“Avery, baby! Wait. Please.” He’s running after me, a pair of gym shorts hastily pulled up over his just a second ago naked body.
“Don’t,” I scream, jerking my arm away as he reaches out for me. “Do not touch me!”
“Baby.” His voice is broken, pleading, as I continue towards my car. “I am so sorry. So fucking sorry.” He continues, still following me. “Please let me explain.”
“No.” I spin around, shoving my finger into his chest. “You don’t get to explain shit to me, Eric. You lost that right the second that you decided to sleep with someone else. And don’t try to give me some bullshit excuse. You promised me, Eric. You promised me.”
With my last words, the sob that I had been holding in slips out, and every other word inside of me dies. I’m crying so hard, tears streaming down my face, completely blurring my vision that I can barely see in front of me. But even so, I continue to move as fast as I can away from him.
“I have no excuse, Ave’s. I... I don’t even know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. There is nothing l
eft to say anyway. And frankly, I don’t give a fuck about anything right now except getting far away from you.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. Please...don’t leave like this.”
He tries to reach for me again but I’m already wrenching open my car door.
“Fuck you, Eric. We’re over. So, fucking over. I hope to god that I never have to see your fucking face again. May you rot in hell.”
Chapter 11
Avery
“Do you realize who you left me with last night at the bar?” Lainey squeals, before squeezing my arm. “Girl, I should thank you for ditching out early. Because that hottie that was up here at the bar? That was Eric Wayne. He is the shit. Didn’t you recognize him? He’s famous! It was so busy in here last night, that I didn’t even realize that you had an entire table of pro ball players. But, damn! He hung out here for a while.”
She nudges me, before pulling me closer and whispering in my ear. “And I think, he had a thing for you. He asked a lot of questions about you.”
Inwardly, I cringe.
I for one, am not star struck by Eric like maybe I should be. To me, he’s still the same guy that he used to be. The same guy who promised me the world, and then the second that I was gone, made a complete and utter fool of me.
Fuck him.
Eric Wayne cares about one thing and one thing only.
Himself. And no matter how rich, or how famous he has become, that is one thing that has certainly not changed.
He can ask questions about me until he is blue in the face for all that I care.
I’m not caving on that.
“Why are you not freaking out?” Lainey asks, stepping back and giving me an inquisitive look. “Girl. This is huge. I think that he liked you.”
“I really don’t care, Lainey. You know damn well that I am not looking for a man right now. I have the only man that I need in my life, and he is plenty.”
She rolls her eyes, before shaking her head. “Jackson doesn’t count, Ave’s. He’s a little boy, and you, are a beautiful woman in your prime. This is exactly the time that you should be sowing your wild oats. And who better to sow with than someone like him?”
“Pass,” I tell her, before stepping past her and shrugging off my jacket.
“Avery.” Linda sticks her head out of the office, before waving her hand at me to come in.
“Great. This day just keeps getting better and better.” I grumble to Lainey, before turning on one foot and heading into the office.
“Yes, Linda?” I ask her, before stepping into her office.
“Your landlord dropped this off for you today.” She pushes a pink envelope at me, making my heart drop to my feet.
“Said he kept trying to get in touch with you but hasn’t been able to.”
I nod slowly, staring at the envelope, knowing damn well what’s inside of it.
“Don’t be bringing your personal affairs into this establishment, ok?”
“Ok. Sorry, Linda.” I say, even though inside of my head, I’m saying something completely different to her.
“It’s a sad day when a landlord has to show up here, to evict someone. So low class.” Linda rolls her eyes, making my jaw drop. “It’s a shame, you know? You young women think that you’re just gonna get by on your looks alone. But looks aren’t gonna pay the bills. Obviously.” She raises her eyebrow in my direction before nodding her head towards the letter.
“How do you know it’s an eviction notice?” I glance down at it, my mouth turning to a flat line when I see that not only did Linda receive it, she also took it upon herself to open it.
“You know, opening someone else’s mail is against the law.” I cross my arms and glare at her.
“So? Sue me.” She snarls, before motioning angrily towards the already opened pink envelope.
“Get that vile thing off my desk, and from now on, handle your affairs outside of work please.”
Fuck you, Linda.
“Will do,” I say, before grabbing the envelope and managing to walk out of the office with my head still held high.
I shove it into my pocket, the feeling of dread completely taking over me.
Dammit. I’m not that far behind on rent. An eviction notice, really?
Shit.
I’ve always prided myself on being able to do everything on my own.
I’ve put myself through school, paid my own way through life, supported my son completely on my own... Obviously, I could do better. I mean, I do already have a bachelor’s degree. I could maybe get a better job...but without a master’s degree in social work, I can’t do the job that I went to school for... and if I’m being perfectly honest? After paying for daycare from whatever job I could get now with my degree, I may not be any better off.
But, I could do better. Hell, Jackson deserves better than I’m giving him right now.
It’s just that money is always so damn tight. I feel like I’m barely getting by, and since my landlord keeps upping my rent, just when I think that I’m finally caught up I’m kicked back down. College hasn’t been cheap, and, well. Since I dropped out of grad school I’ve been having to pay back my student loans. That payment alone is killing me.
Especially since I’m doing this all on my own with zero help from Jacksons worthless father.
I could go home to Michigan.
I totally could. But my dad has been so proud of me, bragging to everyone about how smart and hardworking I am, managing all on my own here in Chicago, juggling a child and work all while being in grad school.
Because like a chicken, I haven’t mentioned that I dropped out...
Fuck.
I inhale sharply, deciding that I will just wait until later to open the letter. No point in knowing the inevitable right now anyhow. I have a shift to get through, and, I struggle enough trying to be cordial to the patrons that frequent this place as it is.
Knowing that I’m about to be homeless on top of the everyday shit storm that is my life?
Well, that’s just more than I can bear right now
Chapter 12
Eric
“Why do you want to go back to that bar? There were literally no chicks there last night. Brock needs to have some fun tonight. And so does Mr. Brock. If you know what I mean.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head, setting my mouth in a flat line.
“You know what? You fucking creep me out when you talk about yourself and your dick in third person. You need some help.”
“Yes, I do. In the form of boobs and...”
“Stop. I get it without the detail.”
“You asked.” He shrugs before banging on Eddie’s door.
“Cruz!” He shouts before banging again. “Let’s go to the bar.”
“Fuck off, Brock.” He replies, making me chuckle.
“Listen, Waynsie. You go ahead to that shit hole bar if you want. But I’m going to find a better place to spend my time.”
“Suit yourself.” I shrug at him, before turning towards the elevator. “Just don’t go off and do something dumb and get yourself in trouble.”
“Pssh. Please. Like that ever happens.” I raise an eyebrow at him, and even he can’t keep a straight face. Brock is always getting himself, and, usually me into trouble.
But not today. Today, I’m steering clear of both he and his antics. I need to see if Avery is working, and hopefully, get a chance to talk to her again.
This time though, I’m not going to insult her or do anything to piss her off for that matter. I want to talk to her. Find out what in the hell she’s been doing for the last six years, and...maybe see if there is any chance that she has the slightest of feelings still for me. I know that it’s a long shot...hell. It’s more than a long shot.
But I can’t help but to try. Because if there’s even a glimmer of hope where she is concerned?
I’m going for it.
I’m man enough to admit where I’ve made mistakes in my life, and I can tell you, that no mistake I�
�ve made is greater than the ones that caused me to lose her love.
I was too young and stupid to fully realize what I had with her, and what I was losing.
But that young and dumb kid?
He’s long gone.
He’s been replaced with a man who knows a damn gem when he sees one. And in this case?
That gem is Avery Cooper.
It’s been six years, but not a damn day has gone by that she hasn’t crossed my mind. I’ve always wondered what she was up to, and whether or not she had ever moved on.
Not that I had any rights to wonder if she had, and hell. I gave her enough reason to firmly leave me in the past.
But my heart has never fucking forgotten her, and the rest of me?
Well, I’ve always wondered where we would be today had I not done what I did.
That’s the thing with a love like that.
What I had with her was real. And that kind of love? I know for sure that it just doesn’t happen twice.
And even though I have given her every reason to hate my guts, still.
I’m going to try like hell to get her to forgive me.
For a long time, I’ve just been going through the motions, walking around as one big empty shell of a man, unable to ever let myself care about anyone else.
The reason for that is Avery. It’s always been Avery.
And if I accomplish nothing else today?
I simply need her to know that.
“WELL, HEY THERE HANDSOME. You must have really liked what we were serving last night to be back so quickly.”
The blond bartender leans across the bar at me, shamelessly thrusting her chest forward as she bats her eyes at me.
“Yeah. I did like it here. Listen, is Avery here?”
She sticks her lip out in a pout slightly, before shrugging.
“Yeah, she’s here somewhere. I told her that you were asking about her last night, though. I don’t think she’s interested.” She leans forward, before winking and me, and resting her elbows on the bar top so that she can lean even closer to me.
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