He fell silent. So was I.
Well damn.
What could I say really? My heart was pounding in my chest, it felt like it was trying to break free. I was all ready to wrap it up in shiny silver paper, cover it with ribbons and bows and hand it over. But then there was a new fear. He said loved, not love. Can you really fall out of love that quickly? I didn’t know.
......I also didn’t really want to find out.
But I had to know for my own sanity, which, let’s face it, was already pretty questionable.
“Loved?”
He knew exactly what I was asking. The was obvious from the way winced when I spoke. He didn’t answer straight away, his teeth worked his bottom lip for a moment and my eyes were drawn to it.
Did he know how erotic that looked? Was he doing it on purpose because he liked the effect he had on me? He released his lip but the spell wasn’t broken, my body ached for his. It’s wrong, I know that, in the situation we were in, to be thinking about having him again, but I couldn’t fight my body’s reaction to him.
“You don’t just fall out of love like that, Harper. So no, I shouldn’t say it in the past tense. But I’m not letting this happen anymore. I deserve better than this and you know it. I’m not going to be your whipping boy anymore and I honestly don’t think you even understand what you did today.”
I did. Sort of.
“I do understand Mase, honestly I do. I just, reacted. Yes, if I’d have taken the time to think about things then I’d realised that I was being ridiculous, but I didn’t. And in my defence, I was trying to think of a way to save you from going to prison! So even if my thoughts were wrong in a way that I can’t apologise enough for, my actions were right. I was doing the right thing for you. Can’t you see that?”
“You thought I was a murderer.”
Was his stubborn response.
I know, okay, who am I to complain about anyone being stubborn? I’m the queen of stubborn. But I was trying to change, and he wouldn’t give me the chance to do that.
I didn’t have anything else to say, he clearly needed time to process whatever it was he was working through, so I left him to it.
Chapter SeventeenHarper
Mason pulled off the motorway and started driving through the back roads towards London. I didn’t want the drive to be over yet. Once we got home, he could drop me off at my apartment, drive away and even if my best friend was with his brother, that didn’t mean I’d ever see him. I needed to keep him with me.
Watching the hills roll by, I thought back to a time when I’d have given anything to go and play outside in the rain. I remember sitting at the window when I was about seven, watching the other kids run past in their wellies, jumping in the puddles, laughing, holding hands. They looked like they were having so much fun.
I was never allowed. It’s not safe to play in the rain. You can get sick and make every else sick.
Bullshit. It’s perfectly safe to play in the rain and I wanted to do it.
“Pull over!”
“What is wrong with you? I’m taking you home.”
I don’t think so!
“No! Pull over! I want to get out!”
He edged the car over to the side of the road, but I didn’t move to get out. I watched the rain pour down the car windows and just started talking.
“Did you ever want to play in the rain?” I didn’t actually want a response, so I kept talking. “I did. God, I wanted to play outside in the rain more than anything. Just because it’s not expected! I mean, really, who wants to be outside getting cold and wet when they could just play inside instead?! It’s ridiculous! But I loved the idea. It’s not just that though, Mason, I wanted to be free! I wanted to escape, because it felt like I was in a prison. Can’t you see that? That’s why I am how I am. I’m free now! I don’t have to do anything anyone else wants, because nobody can make me. If I want to get out of this car right now, run up that hill...” I pointed out the windshield to the view in front of us. “And scream at the top of my lungs, I can do that! If I want to lie down, on the soaking wet ground, and roll from the top of the hill to the bottom, I can do that too! If I want to fuck every guy from here to Timbuktu, I can do that as well. Does it matter that I’m supposed to be an adult? And I should be making different decisions. No. It really doesn’t, because it’s my choice. And regardless of what you think about that, and how extreme some of my choices might have been, it’s...just...me.”
With that, I jumped out of the car and sprinted to the top of the hill as fast as my legs would carry me. It wasn’t a big hill, but I felt like I was on top of the world. Surrounded by miles of green fields, a few farmhouses could be seen in the distance but I really was in the middle of nowhere. It was the most alone I’d ever felt, but that was just it. I felt alone, not lonely. I knew Mase was right there with me.
The rain pelted down on my face, but it was fun, free and I tipped my face to the sky, soaking in every last drop.
“Harper-Marie! What the fuck are you doing? You’ll get ill from standing out here, it’s freezing!” I heard from behind me.
“Come on Mase! Don’t be such a bore. It’s fun!”
“This is not fun! This is fuckin’ ridiculous. We’re gettin’ drenched!” He exclaimed. Still, he didn’t sound half as annoyed as he was trying to and I knew he was getting it. He was finally understanding what I meant. Good.
I lowered my eyes and stared down at him, the rain had soaked through his white t-shirt, the material clinging to his chest like a second skin. He was just too damn gorgeous. I watched a single rain drop roll down the side of his face, following it’s path with my eyes as it ran along his jaw, down his neck and came to rest in the dip above his collar bone.
Decision made.
“Wait for it!” I shouted down to him.
“Wait for what?” He asked.
“Wait for it!” I repeated. His face seemed utterly bemused, but I wasn’t going to stop.
I ran. Full speed, straight down the hill in his direction.
His body tensed as I neared and he managed, “What the...?” Before my body collided with his. The plan was for him to catch me and sweep me up into his arms and kiss the life out of me, like they do in the films. Apparently...this doesn’t exactly work!
Seeing as we both went down. Him landing with an ‘umph’ on the grass, and me lying on top of him, legs either side of his hips. I could feel my knees burning from the impact, but I ignored it. I had only one destination in mind and nothing was going to stop me. I slammed my mouth down on his and he froze.
Shit!
I didn’t move, I wanted him to kiss me back, I moved my lips along his, gentler than before, giving him chance to adjust. The rain was still hammering down around us and the water hitting the back of my head dripped from my hair, along my face and into my mouth. I could taste the rain, that wasn’t right, I wanted to taste him. But he still hadn’t moved!
My tongue swept out and begged entry into his mouth, this seemed to snap him out of his haze and he opened him mouth and groaned when my tongue found his. It wasn’t slow or sweet. This was animalistic, primal, urgent, sexy. We were fighting each other for control, not that I really cared who took over.
He pushed his body into mine further, rolling at the same time and forcing me to my back, never taking his mouth from mine. I locked my legs around his waist and clung to him, finally...finally I had what I wanted. I ached for him, needed him inside me, with everything I had, I was fucking praying for it.
I vaguely registered hearing a rumble of thunder in the background, but my mind was consumed with all that lay on top of me. I unwound my arms from around his neck and ran my hand up his head, feeling the wet strands of his hair between my fingers. I raked my nails around his scalp lightly and felt his skin break out in goose-bumps and his breath hitch.
Oh yeah, he liked that.
Both of our breathing was choppy, short, sharp gasps. No matter how cold it was around us, I felt hot, so damn
hot. He rolled his hips, grinding his groin against mind, causing me to moan. Loud. Shudders wracked my body, and despite the rain, it wasn’t the cold that caused them. My body was on fire, but I needed more.
“Mase, please, I need you.” I whimpered
“Now?...Here?!”
“Yes...right now...right here...No one’s around, and frankly, I couldn’t give a fuck if they were. Don’t stall. Now Mase!” I demanded.
He didn’t disappoint. He rested his weight on one hand, and ran the other up my leg, dragging my dress higher until it was bunched around my waist, then growled when he discovered I wasn’t wearing any underwear. It wasn’t that I’d exactly planned what happened, I just thought...well...maybe?
“Fuck, you’re too perfect. I can’t ever resist you.” He muttered on a breath.
“Hurry Mase!” I begged, sounding needy, but I didn’t care anymore. I did need him.
I could feel him fumbling with his jeans so I manoeuvred my hand down between our bodies and popped the button. He immediately shoved them down his hips and freeing his dick, I couldn’t see it, I wanted to, but I could feel it, right where I needed it. The ache at my core had turned into a deep throb so I pushed my hips up to his, seeking relief.
“Condom, I don’t have...” He gasped.
“I don’t care Mase, I need you.” He stilled and I prayed he wasn’t going to stop, I don’t think I could have coped if he did.
Thank fuck! He didn’t stop.
He reared back and slammed into me. I let out a guttural moan, which mingled with his own growl of approval and we both stilled.
Holy fuck! Unbelievable.
He drove into me...deep, controlled, amazing. I tipped my hips up to meet each thrust, clawing his back, nibbling along the base of his neck to his shoulder. I traced the area with my tongue, enjoying his pleasured moans. I could feel myself building, I was so close, but I couldn’t find it. Mase, being Mase, knew exactly what I needed and he increased his speed before burying himself to the root and rotating his hips. The extra friction across my clit was all I needed. It caused me to explode around him, sinking my teeth into the flesh at his shoulder and held on until the shakes taking over my body had subsided.
I was boneless. My arms and legs dropped to my side and I lay panting, Mase still on top of me, face buried in my neck, weight slightly supported on his elbows and he was ghosting kisses across my skin.
Too damn perfect.
“This can’t happen again.”
What?
Not so perfect...
“Yes, yes it can.”
He was still inside me and still pretty hard. So why wouldn’t he just shut up!
“No babe, I meant what I said. This is the last time. I don’t want to do this anymore. Sex, we’re good at that...” He pulled out of me and rolled to the side, but didn’t bother pulling his jeans up. The rain was coming down even heavier and I hoped it masked my tears when he continued. “Hell, we’re amazing at that. But I’m guessing you’re also amazing at that with a load of other guys too and I’m just not willing to be one of many anymore.”
God he was so stupid. Well, maybe not, seeing as I hadn’t said the words. I laughed at myself, out loud, he was right, I was so fucked up.
“Why are you laughing? I wasn’t being funny.”
I rolled to my side and looked at him, his eyebrows were pulled together and he looked so adorably confused. I laughed harder, clutching my stomach and waving the other hand in front of my face to calm myself down.
I took a few steady breaths and just stared at him.
“No Mase, what you said wasn’t funny. It was stupid. There hasn’t been anyone else since I met you. Not one person. There hasn’t been anyone else, because, fuck it, no matter how much I tried not to, I fell in love with you. Heads over heels, mind consuming, deep down to my soul, love. I just love you.”
“Y-you do?”
“More than anything.” I declared fiercely.
He edged forward and brought his hand up to caress my cheek. His touch was whisper-soft, almost as if he couldn’t decide if I was real.
“I love you too, Sunshine.”
Well, really, what more was there to say.
Chapter Eighteen
Harper
I’m not going to pretend that was it, that it was all diamonds and roses after that. It wasn’t!
Mason was still a demanding fucker, and I was still a stubborn bitch. Don’t honestly think that will ever change. It’s just who we are!
But I didn’t feel caged, I didn’t have to give up everything I had and everything I was, and I didn’t have to start doing as I was told! Life was just the same, but better. I had a man who loved me, whom I loved in return and I was happy.
I didn’t realise until after I’d told him, but I was worried. Really worried, that he’d change his mind. That he’d see I wasn’t worth all the effort and the headaches that I’d caused. Worried that it was all about the chase for him and once he really had me, he wouldn’t want me anymore.
When I told him, he flat out laughed in my face. It wasn’t exactly the reaction I was expecting. But then he explained, and I was reminded all over again why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place.
“Sunshine, love isn't supposed to be all hearts and flowers, sometimes it hurts like fuck, but when it’s real, it’s amazing. No one really gets a happy ending without fighting for it. Why should you have true love if you've never really earned it? It shouldn’t be handed to you on a plate, it’s worth more than that. So no, you don’t need to worry. We’ve earned ours, probably more than most people have, and I’m not letting you go. Not. Ever.”
So I’m not worried anymore.
That simple.
We arrived home that night, drenched. My teeth were chattering, my skin was covered in goose bumps, my make-up had ran down my face and my hair was stuck to my head, but I couldn’t have cared any less.
Walking through the front door, I stopped short when I saw my apartment. Mason ran into the back of me and I stumbled forward but caught myself before I fell.
“Whoa, what...?”
Mase didn’t have chance to finish his question, Ruben interrupted.
“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?”
“Can we get through the door before you scream at us?” I asked, trying to calm him down. I didn’t understand why he was as worried as he was, it’s not like anything would have happened to Mase. I know, it’s hypocritical, considering for about two hours, I thought he was going to prison for murder, but...ok I admit it, I’m stupid!
We walked in and I looked around. Everyone was there. Jax, Taylor, Jase...and Ruben, who looked like he was about to have a coronary.
Taylor’s eyes were focused on our entwined hands and I could see her fighting a smile. I rolled my eyes at her, only that girl would find anything funny right then. I looked at Mase and gestured for him to ahead and explain. I really couldn’t be bothered to go through it all. I wanted a hot bath, a cup of tea, and dry clothes. Not that I didn’t appreciate everyone being there, clearly they were worried, but still, the quicker they left, the better.
Mason relayed the whole story, from start to finish...leaving out the parts that they really didn’t need to know. I’m not sure they would have liked to hear about our escapades in a random field!
“Wait, so what took you so long to get home then?” Jax asked, with Ruben adding... “He was back hours ago. We’ve been going out of our minds here.”
“Sorry, we um, we took a walk...” Yeah, because that was convincing.
“Why were you so worried anyway?” He asked.
Ruben’s face paled slightly and I wondered if anyone else had caught his reaction, didn’t seem like it. He covered it fairly quickly and shrugged. Mase had mentioned before about him hiding something, I knew it was true.
“Why would you take a walk in the rain, and why does Harp have mud all up her back?” This came from Jase.
“We just wanted to, and she um, fel
l over.”
He was clearly not a very good liar. So I saved him, sort of.
“Ok, we didn’t go for a walk, we had sex in a field, in the rain, on the way home. That good enough of a reason for you?”
They shut up after that, but I did appreciate Jase’s snort of approval. Taylor shook her head but she was smiling. Hey, I don’t know why they were surprised! I’ve never held my tongue, I wasn’t going to start then.
Thankfully, Jase seemed to realise that they were still just staring at us when we were clearly, fucking freezing.
“Okay, they’re here, they’re fine. Any and all other questions can wait until later...” He looked at me and I widened my eyes, in a silent plea. He continued. “Or, maybe tomorrow. Let’s clear out.”
Mason
Everyone got up at the same time and I swear, I could have kissed Jase on the mouth. I was shuddering so hard from the cold, my balls had shrivelled up and my dick was trying to retreat. Then again, that could have been from fear of kissing Jase, so I threw that idea away.
Ruben came to stand in front of me, just staring at me. He pulled me into a hug and spoke into my ear.
“I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Then he pulled back, punched me in the arm, and not lightly, before calling me a ‘jackass’.
Thanks little brother. Love you too.
Once everyone had left, it was just me, Harper...and...Jase?
“What are you still doing here?” I asked.
“This is my apartment too! I live here.”
I leaned back against the wall, crossed one foot over the other, and folded my arms across my chest. The stared at him with one eyebrow raised.
He took my silent challenge well...for about ten seconds. I knew I’d won when he looked to Harper to help him. She looked to the ceiling and pretended to ignore him.
Good job, Sunshine!
“Fine, fine. I know where I’m not wanted, I’ll leave. But I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
I held my position. Still staring at him.
Resist (London) Page 15
