Coughing, unable to speak, I spun away and followed the hallway to the staff room, attempting to settle the flapping butterflies in my chest.
When I returned, he hadn’t moved. He stood up straighter when he saw me, offering me a ghost of a smile.
“We can sit out in the courtyard if you wish. I’m sure you’re itching for some sunshine.”
“That I am.”
Following me for a minute, I led him into a patient enclosure with a few tables and chairs. People were scattered around and looked up as we entered, obviously thinking Harley worked at the hospital. If only they knew.
“So…” he began, before we settled at a two-seater round table with chairs. “Did you manage to dig anything up about me?”
Disappointed I didn’t have a thing, I shook my head. “No. Not yet. I’m not giving up, though. There has to be a way of finding out just who you are. Have you had any more memories?”
“No. Not yet. I’m afraid to discover anything else. I’m not sure I want to return to that life.”
“Like I said, let’s just cross that bridge when we come to it. No decisions need to be made yet. Each day as it comes.”
Sipping my coffee, I relished in its ability to kick me where I needed it. I sighed, not expecting Harley to even notice. Apparently when it came to me, he didn’t miss much.
“I’d ask if you’ve had a rough morning, but it’s still fairly early, so, tough night at home?”
I swung my eyes to him, wondering why he’d ask me that. For a moment, I thought I should tell him to mind his own business but truth be told, he’d hit the nail on the head. Nick had told me last minute about a business trip which would have him out of town for a few days, maybe a week. I’d almost told him not to come back.
“It’s complicated.”
Arching an eyebrow, he riveted me with a sultry stare. “It’s none of my business, but I’m here if you need to talk. I know not a soul, so your secrets are safe with me.” He gifted me with a sensational smile, causing me to take a swift breath. My eyes were on his mouth, secretly wondering how soft it would feel on mine. Such finery deserved a certain amount of credit and worthy attention, no matter how wrong the idea was.
“My boyfriend the workaholic is the problem. It’s finally beginning to piss me off.” Glancing around, I made sure others nearby hadn’t overheard me.
“You deserve better.” Such simple words, yet not easy to facilitate.
“I don’t know what to do. We’ve been together two years. I know he cares about me, but he loves his job more.”
Not expecting his hand to reach across and take mine, I practically choked on the coffee after attempting to swallow. Coughing roughly, garnering a few stares from the people facing us, I attempted to pull away. He held on fast, gripping my fingers. “Hey. Just because you’ve been with the guy a while doesn’t mean you have to stick around if you’re not happy.” Then he said something out of left field, which embarrassed me. “Is he good in bed?”
This time I did wrench my hand away. Why would he ask that? Besides the fact that Nick and I had a sex life bordering on non-existent, I wasn’t comfortable discussing it with a man who could pose for an Italian sculpture.
“I’m not answering that.” Stealing my eyes away, I suddenly found my Styrofoam coffee cup interesting.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that, a woman of your caliber should have a man who worships her in and out of the bedroom.”
That got my attention. My mind conjured up images of Harley idolizing my body. I couldn’t hold his gaze while my brain played its own R-rated movie, but I could sense him still watching me.
“We’re not here to talk about my sex life. I brought you here to offer some company in what is going to be a very boring day.” Pushing my chair out to stand, he caught me off guard.
“Wait!” His arm stretched out as if to stop me. “Don’t go. We can talk about something else. Anything. Just…sit with me.”
This guy knew how to stop me in my tracks. He only had to plead for my company and I caved. God. Talk about a pushover.
Settling back down, I placed my cup on the table, watching his body relax slightly. “Fine. I have five minutes.”
With the clock ticking, suddenly neither of us had anything to say. It’s not like I could ask him questions about anything. There were no answers he could give me. Instead, he watched me while he drank, his chiseled forearms garnering too much of my attention. Veins popped in odd places. Even with his dark features, the fine hairs on his arms were light. His fingernails were neatly manicured, although they could do with a cut. His rounded fingers looked perfect for caressing. Shaking my head, I gulped my coffee.
“Do I make you nervous?” he asked.
Hell yes! “Of course not. Why do you ask?”
“Well, for one, your pulse is hammering in your neck. Secondly, your eyes won’t hold mine for longer than two seconds. And thirdly, your hands are shaking.”
His heat burned me even from the other side of the table. The walls were closing in.
My physical body betrayed me on every level. Scanning the room, I noticed other women admiring the view too. Such a sight to behold—any female would be blind not to notice.
“The coffee here always does that to me.” Such a weak excuse. Blind Freddy could see through it.
“Bullshit.” He grinned amusedly. “Just admit it, Mac. Deep down inside, you crave a man who can offer you more than a tepid relationship. You’ve had barely warm since your virginity got popped. The reason I make you nervous is because I have something you want. There’s no shame in it.”
I didn’t like being analyzed. The truth glared at me in frightening reality. Harley’s words couldn’t have been truer, but I wasn’t going to boost his ego even further. Standing, I offered him a tight smile. “My break is over. I need to get back to work. What will you do all day?” I couldn’t stay another minute with the direction the conversation kept traveling. My coffee could be finished in the ICU.
At only eleven a.m., the day would drag for him, but I had other responsibilities to take care of.
He shrugged. “Can’t really go anywhere looking like this. What do you suggest?”
“Well, I guess you could hang here. There’s a television and magazines just inside.”
“Dressed in scrubs?”
Shrugging, I didn’t have any other options for him. “If anyone asks, tell them the truth. You’re a patient without clothes.”
I bid Harley farewell, relieved to be out from under his thrall. Walking back to ICU gave me just enough time to clear my head and focus on what needed to be done for the rest of the day.
***
By six p.m. exhaustion and anxiety had taken hold. Nick still had no idea about Harley coming home. The evening would be interesting, to say the least.
Upon returning to the patient lounge, I found Harley slumped in a chair, asleep. He had the place to himself.
I walked over and nudged him awake. “Harley?”
Lifting his head, which sat at an odd angle, he gaped at me with bleary eyes. “Hmm?”
“It’s time to go.”
He straightened and peered around the room as if getting his bearings. “It is?”
“Yeah. You must have been asleep a while.”
His stomach gurgled loudly, causing me to laugh. “Come on, we’ll grab something to eat on the way home.”
I’d changed into a pair of jeans and a light zip-up hoodie with a tank underneath. Clothes I kept in my locker. Harley’s intense scrutiny of me didn’t go un-noticed.
“Wow! You look different out of uniform.”
I threw him an amused smile. “I’m just a regular person.”
“I know, but after only ever seeing you in your nurse’s outfit, it’s weird to see you in jeans.”
“Get used to it, buddy. I’m a casual girl. Jeans and shorts. That’s me.”
“No complaints here,” he said as he walked behind me a tad too close. If
I had x-ray vision, I imagined his eyes to be fixated on my butt. My hoodie covered my waist but failed to fall further. The jeans I wore were rather fitted because they were made of stretch denim and were my all-time favorites. If I could, I’d wear them to work. I let him ogle as I led the way through the maze of University Hospital, the only sounds from either of us being me saying goodbye to co-workers.
We made it to the staff parking lot. By the time we arrived, I noticed Harley wincing.
“You okay?” I asked, unlocking the doors using the remote.
“Yep. Just not used to walking so far.”
“The exercise will actually do you good,” I offered, climbing into the driver’s seat of my late model Shelby Mustang, my dream car.
Harley followed and turned to me with a surprised look on his face. “This is yours?”
“Absolutely. Isn’t she a beauty?”
Shaking his head, he chuckled. “I never pegged you for a muscle car kind of girl.”
Securing my seatbelt, I fired up the engine, loving the sound of the 500 horsepower V8. I gave it a little gas, showing off a bit. I wasn’t a grease monkey by any means, but the power under my fingertips stirred a wild side in me. Male and female heads always turned when I stopped at traffic lights or drove through town. She stunned passersby with her gun-metal gray paint and chunky tires.
“Buckle up.” I grinned madly at him, backing out of the lot and easing onto the main road.
“Nice ride, Angel. She sounds amazing.” He nodded, a little bit of awe on his face.
Pride flooded me, knowing a guy like Harley would appreciate my baby’s attributes.
“Doesn’t she? I saved up for three years to get her. She’s my pride and joy.”
I felt his eyes burning into me as I indicated to turn into Neo Papalis, the best pizza joint in Ann Arbor.
“Do you mind if I order for you? Seeing as though you probably won’t remember what pizza you like?”
Peeking over at him, he dragged his gaze away from me and checked out where we were. “Ah, sure. I guess.”
“Trust me. You’ll love the BBQ Bianca.”
“Right now, I feel like I could eat the trash from out back, I’m so hungry.”
“You’re in for a treat then.” I chuckled.
After ordering and driving the five minutes to my apartment, nerves began ratcheting up a notch. Having the hulk of a man beside me in my home had me struggling to find oxygen. I’d have to loan him some of Nick’s clothes until we could get some new ones. Essentially, I was taking in a homeless man with no ready cash and no belongings.
Grateful for Nick’s car being absent, I climbed out and led my protégé inside, stalking into the kitchen. “Do you want a shower before you eat? I’ll get something for you to change into.”
“Nah. I’ll take one after dinner. My stomach is crying out for sustenance of some kind. I skipped lunch today.”
“Oh. You should have asked a nurse for something to eat. They would have grabbed you a sandwich.”
“It’s all good. It just means I’ll enjoy the pizza all the more.”
My heart was galloping along at having this god in my kitchen. His presence filled the small space, causing me to fumble with the cupboard to reach the plates.
Heat shrouded my back, and without turning, I could feel Harley behind me. A large hand reached up and gripped the handle, covering mine, causing me to shiver at the contact. His skin felt warm and surprisingly soft. Breath blew across my ear as his deep voice lit me from the inside. “Let me help you with that.”
I couldn’t move or speak while cocooned inside his wrap-around body, jammed against the counter. His scent, mingled with freshly laundered scrubs, coated my nostrils. I let him open the cupboard, and with his free hand he took down the crockery, pausing a moment too long. I swore I heard him inhale sharply before stepping back.
“Do you want to eat in here or the living room?” he asked quietly.
I couldn’t turn yet. I could still feel him not too far away and I didn’t trust myself in that moment. My body betrayed me with the tingles shooting to my breasts and the heated mess between my legs. I needed a moment. Gripping the edge of the counter, I ground out, “Living room. I’ll be there in a moment.”
I heard him pad away after a few heartbeats.
Get it together, Mac. You asked him to come home. You need to harden up and ignore any and all sensations he brings about while he’s here. Things will only end badly.
Inhaling deeply, I steeled myself against my raging hormones and almost ran down the hallway, diving into Nick’s drawer and pulling out a pair of sweats and a tank, before strolling into the living room to join Harley. I tossed the clothes down beside him.
He had three pieces of pizza on his plate, chowing down on one. “This is so good. You were right.” Swinging barely a glance at the sweats and shirt, he offered, “Thanks.”
Trying hard to ignore the BBQ sauce glistening on his defined mouth, I cleared my throat and took two pieces, sitting on the chair opposite him, placing much needed space between us.
“I told you. People drive from miles away to eat these. It’s my once a month treat. I try not to overindulge.”
Scanning my body from top to toe, he pioneered a trail of heat with his eyes, a slow, indolent grin forming. “It looks like you take good care of yourself.”
How could he tell? I had a pair of jeans and a hoodie on. My jeans were skinny, but still.
“I try. Work is so demanding, sometimes physically, but more so emotionally, so I find if I’m in good shape, it helps.”
“What got you into nursing?” he asked casually, taking a king-sized bite of his last piece of pizza. He could stack the food away quickly.
Happy to talk about neutral subjects, I answered, “It was a no-brainer. Since I was little, whenever anyone took ill, whether it be a person or animal, I always wanted to take care of them and make them better. I don’t think it’s something you become. I think it’s something you are. I hate seeing people sick. I want to comfort them and ease their suffering.”
Harley paused his chewing to study me. His pupils distended and a crease formed above his nose as if frowning. It wasn’t a frown as such, though. More like my words affected him.
“I don’t know how you cope when you lose people all the time. My memory…where my comrade got killed; I felt the pain as if it were real. It gutted me.”
Glancing away, I thought about my answer. “I don’t always. It’s hard. We lost someone after you got moved to the ward. I keep needing reminders that we can’t save everyone.”
Dark orbs drilled into me, churning my stomach with nervous flutters. He looked into me, unspeaking. Deep and penetrating. I could almost hear the cogs of his mind turning. I wanted to be able to stare back, but if I did, I knew he’d consume me. He shook his head briskly and stood, reaching for the sweats, about to pull his scrubs down when I stopped him.
“Wait! Let me turn around first.”
I swiveled, heat searing up my neck into my cheeks as I pictured his ample legs and thighs bared before me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I heard fabric rustling and then a gentle sweep of the sweats being pulled up.
“Ready!”
Facing him again, I gulped to see him without a shirt. My Lord, he could restart hearts with that physique. Whatever he’d done in his forgotten past definitely involved weight training. Nick’s sweats were a tad too snug but I wouldn’t complain. Hell, I could almost see every lump and bump!
Look north, Mac. Damn it. Find his face and ignore the rest.
He must have licked his lips because they were moist and plump, slightly parted. He studied my reaction to seeing him half naked. Had I sold myself out? If my burning cheeks were anything to go by, I’d say he knew damn well what went through my mind.
Reaching for the shirt, I stretched out to hand it to him when the front door opened. Nick.
I pivoted toward the door, watching Nick’s face turn from emotionless to surprised, and the
n suspicious. Eyes flattening to slits like his mouth.
“Hi Mac. What’s going on? And why is this guy half-dressed and in my sweats?” He didn’t attempt to come closer, but held his position two feet from the doorway. I could see how it looked.
He watched me before turning to Harley. I felt like I’d been caught red-handed doing something I shouldn’t. Swallowing the sudden unfounded guilt lodged in my throat, I attempted to explain.
“Ah, Nick, this is Harley. He’s a patient of mine from the hospital.” I rose and walked over to him. “Can I talk to you in private?”
He glared at me, his body language portraying agitation. Dropping his briefcase, he motioned to the hallway without responding further, glowering at our guest.
I shot a glance to Harley, who sat back down and gave me an “I’m sorry” look.
Stepping into our bedroom, I shut the door and turned to Nick.
“I was going to discuss this with you but you’re never home, and well…I never got a chance. Harley arrived in the ICU with no memory. Total amnesia. He’s still a John Doe. I took care of him. He doesn’t even know where he lives.”
Nick daggered me with a look, as if he could garner my next words. My gut somersaulted.
“He had nowhere to go. I—”
Before I could continue, Nick cut me off. Quick on the uptake, he knew me too well. “So you told him he could stay here. Of course you did. And how is he a John Doe, yet you call him Harley?”
“It’s a long story—” Once again, he didn’t allow me to finish.
Combing a hand across the back of his neck he scowled. “Jesus, Mac. You can’t just bring stray people home as if they are some forlorn dog or cat. You don’t even know the guy. He could be a criminal.”
He had a valid point, but in my own defense, I argued, “I’ve hardly seen you over the last few days. The opportunity never arose to tell you. With work and you pulling an all-nighter, I didn’t want to bother you. I promise it won’t be for long. Just until we can figure something else out.”
“I can’t believe you would do this! You know I bring work home with me. How am I going to be able to focus with someone else here?” Gritting his teeth, he surprised me with his next words, “Especially a guy who looks like that!” His hand flew out, pointing at the wall in the direction of the living room.
True Identity (The Lost and Found series Book 1) Page 7
