They both froze for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. Athena never knew who moved first, but the next instant they were wrapped around each other exchanging scorching kisses that ignited a hunger in her that she’d never before experienced.
Derek broke the kiss as a distant rumble of thunder sounded, and leaned his forehead against hers. “What would you think about moving this indoors?” he whispered.
“I think that sounds like the best thing I’ve heard all day,” she replied, heart flip-flopping with a mixture of desire and apprehension.
Her sexual experience consisted of losing her virginity on prom night, which seemed to be a requirement at her high school, followed by two more disastrous experiments with the same boy that left her unsatisfied. Since both she and her date were virgins on prom night, it had been an almost comedic episode of the blind leading the blind. She hadn’t expected much from that first time, but was more than a little pissed off when the next two encounters were the same, with her date getting off and leaving her high and dry. As inexperienced as she was, though, she knew being with Derek would be different. Just kissing him had awakened more sensations in her than three episodes of her prom date’s fumbling attention. She was almost vibrating with the need to get Derek somewhere secluded and take it all the way.
“Then let’s go.” He pressed another searing kiss on her lips before he helped her to her feet. Together they folded the blanket and stuffed it in his backpack, the silence between them seeming to hum with a high-voltage energy.
The moment the backpack was fastened, he took her hand. “Is my flat all right?”
“Your flat is perfect,” she told him in a trembling voice.
“Good.” He squeezed her fingers. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER SIX
Memphis, April 5, 1975
No.
The word kept reverberating in Athena’s head in the wake of Derek’s angry departure, a plea to any unseen forces that might be lurking that she hadn’t messed up her entire life because of one phone call. No, she hadn’t believed that snotty little British twit. No, she didn’t jump to the worst conclusion about Derek. No, she didn’t marry Steve out of desperation because of it. And no – Oh, please, God, no – she didn’t mess up Elizabeth’s life, too, because she had been a stupid, moronic, idiotic kid who didn’t use her brain at the most crucial juncture of her life.
Yes. Yes, she had. And the realization that there was nothing she could do to change any of it washed over her, leaving behind a sorrow so deep and heavy that she crumpled, unable to remain upright beneath it.
She pressed her cheek against the dusty surface of the desk as deep, painful sobs tore through her chest. The crushing guilt came roaring to the surface again, and for the first time in years she let herself imagine what could have been – Derek holding his baby daughter, Elizabeth feeling safe and loved by her father instead of telling a framed photograph of a stranger goodnight.
On the heels of those images came the thought of what it might have been like to be with Derek all those years. Instead of the parade of bad dates, the lonely nights and the cold feeling of abandonment, maybe it could have been the way it was that summer when she and Derek were so in love that it colored everything with hope. With him she would have been more than The Mommy, The Sister, The Daughter, The Boss; all were satisfying in their way, but still, something was missing. And what was missing was Athena. Over the years she’d stifled who she was in order to be what other people needed, but when she’d been with Derek there was no holding back. He’d loved her for who she was, not some preconceived notion of what others thought she should be.
But more than that, she missed being the object of someone’s desire. Now that she’d seen Derek again, she knew why her infrequent dates hadn’t satisfied that longing; they didn’t desire her, they just desired sex. Who they got it from was immaterial. Derek had wanted her. She wanted – needed – that again. And she wanted it from Derek.
Though she’d tried to bury it under hurt and betrayal and anger, she still loved him. She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t deny it. Even the cold detachment she’d seen in his eyes couldn’t change it. She loved him and she’d lost him, and grief knifed through her at the realization that she had no one to blame for that but herself. It wasn’t Derek’s fault, or Tina’s, or anyone else she’d tried to blame. It was all her own fault for throwing Derek’s love away, and she didn’t think she could live with herself now that she’d admitted it.
A gentle touch on her shoulder made her jump in surprise. She hadn’t heard Paul enter the room and she was embarrassed that he found her in such a state.
Without a word, he pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her, rocking her gently back and forth. Athena collapsed against him, desperate for the comfort he silently offered. After a moment or two, she took a deep breath, determined to regain control. With the same iron will that got her through the past seven years, she banished the tears and wiped her fingers under her eyes. She nestled her head against Paul’s chest and sighed.
“Thank you.”
“Mmm.” Paul’s voice rumbled against her ear. “What did he say to you, love?”
“Nothing that didn’t need saying,” she croaked.
A derisive snort shook his shoulders. “I can’t imagine you deserved anything that would reduce you to this.”
“Well, I did. In fact, in light of things, he went easy on me.” She shook her head, her hair rustling against the front of his shirt. “You can’t blame him because I’m in here bawling like a baby.” With a sigh, Athena sat up and brushed her hair away from her face. “But it’s not important, and I’m okay.”
Paul peered at her with eagle eyes. “Are you? I don’t think so.”
“All right,” she relented. “I’ll be okay eventually. How’s that?”
“A load of bullshit, darling, that’s how it is.” He lifted a skeptical brow and shook his head. “But I can see that stubborn streak I remember well, so I know you’re going to continue to lie to me. I’ll drop it. For now.”
“Gee, thanks.” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She’d forgotten about Paul’s direct manner and his way of cutting through the malarkey. The only other person who saw through her with such clarity was her mother, but Athena wasn’t fond of the critical way her comments were couched and tended to tune her out the minute she got started. It was harder to ignore Paul’s genuine concern.
“Since you’ve decided to avoid whatever the hell it was Derek did to make you cry like that, let’s move on to why I was looking for you in the first place.” Paul crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head toward the door. “Simon,” he called. “She’s in here.”
Curious now, Athena looked around in time to see Simon enter the room looking relieved.
“There you are,” he stated the obvious. He opened his mouth to say more, but closed it with a snap as he studied Athena with narrowed eyes. “What have you been doing? Rolling around on the desk with Derek?”
“You’re both covered in dust, darling,” Paul explained with a strained grin. “Stand up and I’ll brush you off.”
She slid off the desk and glared at Simon. “I haven’t been rolling anywhere with Derek, thank you very much.”
“Then why does he have dust all over his clothes, too?” Simon demanded.
Paul made a sound of impatience. “Not important,” he told his manager. “Just tell her what we discussed.” He began brushing the dust off the arm of Athena’s dress with brisk swipes of his hand.
“Right.” In an instant, Simon turned all business. “We’ve had a bit of bad luck. You see, the lads’ personal assistant broke his leg when he took a tumble down the stairs at the hotel in Nashville. Bloody fool was high as a kite at the time, but that’s of no matter.” He dismissed the former assistant with a wave of his hand. “What matters is that we need to replace him, and we want you for the job.”
Athena’s mouth dropped open in shock, and for a momen
t she could only stand there gaping at Simon while being buffeted by Paul’s dust removal efforts. “Are you crazy? I can’t do that!”
“Of course you can,” Simon retorted. “You’ve done it before.”
“Seven years ago, Simon, and things have changed since then.”
“Not that much. Everyone’s essentially the same as they were then.”
“Oh, give me a break,” she scoffed. “Three gold albums and tours all over the world and they’re the same guys I knew back then? Right. Oh, and just so you know, your guitar player hates me. There’s no way this would work.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Paul contradicted as he brushed dust from her backside. “He’s just a bit brassed off.”
“Hate, Paul. It’s hate. And stop doing that!” She twisted away from his ministrations. “I don’t care if I’m dusty.” She turned back to Simon. “Thanks for the offer, but there’s no way I can do this. I have a job I can’t just walk away from. More importantly, I have a daughter. You think I can just bug out with a rock band and leave her behind?”
Under other circumstances, the looks on the faces of Paul and Simon would have been funny. They couldn’t have looked more dumbfounded if she’d suddenly begun disrobing.
Paul cleared his throat. “You have a kid?”
“That’s what I said. And I’m all she’s got, so going with you is out of the question.” She shook her head and headed toward the door. “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Athena.” Paul’s quiet voice came from behind her. “We’ll pay you six thousand dollars.”
She froze, not believing what she’d heard. Turning on legs that felt like cooked pasta, she faced them again.
“Six thousand dollars?” she whispered. “Are you insane? That’s half a year’s salary.”
“It’s not an easy job, darling.” Paul looked a little sheepish. “You have to be on call for us twenty-four hours a day, you have to get us whatever we want or need since we can’t go out and get it ourselves…”
“And some of those things are, er…not easily obtainable,” Simon interrupted. “Then there’s making sure their hotel rooms are stocked correctly, laundry to keep up with, running interference with fans backstage, and a lot more aggravation. They’ll keep you on your toes, so we pay accordingly.”
Athena’s vocal chords thawed. “But six thousand dollars? That’s crazy, Simon. Can you afford that?”
Paul cast a questioning glance at Simon who just shrugged. “Well, yes. It’s just money.”
“Just…” Speechless again, Athena could only shake her head.
“C’mon, Athena, be a love and do it,” Paul pleaded. “The minute we saw you, we knew you were the one we wanted.”
“We?” She arched a brow.
“Oh. Well, Derek doesn’t actually know about it yet, but I’m sure he’ll come round.”
“Mm-hm. You keep telling yourself that.”
Simon stepped forward and took her hands in his. “We need you, Athena. I don’t want to hire just anyone; I want someone who knows the lads, and someone they know and trust. It’s only four weeks. Can’t you make some sort of arrangements for your daughter?”
To her irritation she found herself actually considering it, and gave herself a stern mental shake. “Not on such short notice, no. Besides, I don’t think I could stand being away from her that long.” A thought occurred to her and she narrowed her eyes. “And why should any of you trust me? Who says I haven’t changed? For all you know I’ve turned into a terrible person since you last saw me.”
A quiet snort of amusement came from Paul’s direction. “Oh, yes, you’re a master criminal now.” He held up his hands at the glare she tossed his way. “Come on, love; we watched you today during all that mad rush. You’re still the same organized, conscientious, honest girl we knew. Some things might have changed, sure, but deep down you’re still the same. Just like we are.”
“Think about it,” Simon urged, giving her hands a squeeze. “I’ll speak to your boss so your job will still be here when you get back. Look, we’ll be here until Monday, all right? We’re at the Holiday Inn near the airport, and I’m in room 215. Ring and let me know, okay?”
“Simon, this isn’t…”
“Think about it,” he repeated. “Let me know something by tomorrow night, and we’ll go from there. We need you, Athena,” he added. “And you’re the one we want.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
London, June 19, 1967
Thick, dark clouds and ominous growls of thunder greeted Derek and Athena when they arrived at Picadilly Station. Athena could smell rain on the strengthening breeze that blew her hair over her shoulder, and she cast an apprehensive glance at the sky.
“If we hurry, we might make it before it pours,” Derek told her. He took her hand. “Up for a bit of a run?”
A nervous laugh escaped her, and she nodded. “Lead the way.”
With a quick grin over his shoulder, he pulled her out of the station and down the sidewalk. Athena’s laughter lost its nervous edge and changed to giggles as they dodged surprised pedestrians, and even jogged in the road for a brief spell. Just as the first spatters of rain hit the sidewalk, Derek darted into a doorway, dragging Athena after him.
A clap of thunder punctuated the end of their mad dash, and Athena pulled the door shut behind them. Breathless and laughing, she turned to Derek.
Excitement made his eyes even bluer, and his smile echoed the wild abandon coursing through her own bloodstream. Mussed from the wind, his hair stood in spikes and whorls, and without conscious thought she ran her fingers through it to smooth it.
At her touch, his smile faded and his eyes glowed with a different kind of excitement. Every molecule in Athena’s body responded to it, and she rose on tiptoe to press a kiss on those tempting lips.
Derek’s hands slid over her hips and pulled her close as the kiss deepened and intensified, becoming as wild and untamed as the storm that raged just beyond the door. Athena had never been kissed like that before; even the kiss they’d shared in the park earlier that ignited such hunger in her paled in comparison. The feel of his mouth on hers sent lightning flashes of raw, urgent need sizzling through her bloodstream, the resultant thunder of passion shaking her very core. Her trembling fingers laced through his hair to pull his head closer, and her body melted into his, seeking total contact. The feel of his arousal against her belly brought a low, animalistic growl from deep in her throat. Derek’s answering moan flashed through her like quicksilver. She made him sound like that. She with her fumbling desire and untrained touch brought that low, sexy, urgent sound from him.
More. The word pounded through her brain. More!
It was almost as if he heard it since he broke the kiss, grasped her hand and led her up the stairs. At the end of a short hallway made dim by the stormy light coming through a small window set high in the wall, he unlocked the door to his flat and pulled her inside.
Nervous now, she let her eyes dart around the front room as he locked the door behind them. Used to total slobs like her brother Donnie and his friends, she was surprised at the tidiness of Derek’s flat. The furniture was unremarkable, and there were few personal touches, but what there was occupied the room in an orderly manner. She had time to notice the faint scent of bacon in the air, a memory of the food he’d cooked for their picnic, before the touch of his hands on her shoulders brought her back to an awareness of why she was there.
Shaking, she let him turn her around to face him. The hunger in those blue eyes made her breath stop and brought her arms up around his neck to pull his lips down to hers. Warmed by his kisses, she forgot to be awkward. Until he started edging toward what she realized must be the bedroom.
Derek must have sensed her hesitation because he gently broke the kiss and cupped his hands on her cheeks.
“What’s the matter?” he whispered.
To her relief, she saw no condemnation or impatience in his eyes, just a gentle question
.
“I haven’t done this very much,” she admitted as heat flamed in her cheeks.
One side of his mouth lifted in that smile she had already come to love, but this time it was tinged with a hint of embarrassment.
“I haven’t done this very much, either.” His thumbs stroked her skin. “But I know I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.”
An incredulous joy suffused her, and her lips trembled with an answering smile. “Me, too.”
He bent his head and placed a hot, quick kiss on her lips before he led her into what was, indeed, his bedroom.
Athena stood lost at the foot of the bed as he turned back the spread. Voices of generations of her ancestors seemed to huff, “In broad daylight!” and she had to admit they might have a point. This was so different from the pitch darkness of the back of her prom date’s 1963 Rambler station wagon. Though it was still storming, there was plenty of light in the room, and she had to repress the urge to flee when she realized Derek was going to be able to see every inch of her. Naked.
Finished with the bed, he turned to face her, and her insecurities got the better of her.
“I don’t know what to do,” she blurted. “No, wait. I know what to do, but…No, I really don’t.”
Derek laughed under his breath and put the tips of his fingers over her lips. “It’s okay. Do whatever you want to me. I’m certain I’ll like it.” He shrugged out of his vest and pulled off his shirt.
“Oh,” Athena breathed. She had never seen anything more beautiful than Derek standing before her with his hair tousled and his smooth bare chest just begging to be explored. There was no way she could resist touching him, and her hands skimmed up his arms to slip over his shoulders. She let her fingertips trail over his collarbone, delighting in the warmth of his skin against the coolness of hers. Placing her palms flat, she ran them down his chest. When she slid them over his taut nipples, he drew in his breath with a hiss, and she pulled her hands back, afraid she’d done something wrong.
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