“No, Athena,” he panted. “I can’t…”
“You will,” she said, looking him in the eye. “I want to taste you first. I have to taste you.”
“Jesus,” he muttered through clenched teeth. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his hand sliding through her hair. “Do it.”
Bending down again, she curled her fingers around him, delighting in his moan of pleasure. Her hand performed a slow up and down stroke, but she paused at his urgent sound of protest. He really was close to losing it, and if she wanted him, she needed to hurry. Without further preliminaries, she closed her lips around him and drew him into her mouth.
Oh, yes. Oh, God, yes. It was like no time had passed; the feel of him was so familiar, so perfect. Her tongue immediately remembered just where to go and the rhythm he’d always liked. The convulsive grab of his hands in her hair indicated she didn’t have a lot of time, so she took him in further until he touched the back of her throat. With slow deliciousness, she drew her mouth back up his length, letting her teeth graze the head with a gentle nip, the incredible taste of him flooding her tongue. The next thing she knew he was pulling her head up with frantic pressure.
“No more, angel,” he gasped. “Not now.”
Without protest she moved up, her legs on either side of his hips, and positioned herself over him. Looking into his eyes, she lowered herself onto that gorgeous hardness, gasping as he filled her to the max. He thrust up into her and she began to move, her muscles stroking him and pushing him closer and closer to release. When his movements became jerky and uncoordinated, she leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of his head.
“Come on, baby,” she breathed, watching the grimaces of intense pleasure contort his face. “Give it to me.”
With one last mighty thrust, he did, a cry of release breaking free from his lips. At the sight of him shattering apart under her, her own climax blazed through her. Derek let out another guttural cry as she shuddered around him.
Blissfully replete, she gazed down at him, caught by the intensity of those amazing blue eyes.
His hand rose to touch her cheek. “I still love you,” he whispered.
A feeling too deep for words shot through her, and she leaned forward to press a kiss on his lips. “I still love you, too.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Content and at peace for the first time since the day she left England, Athena lay sheltered in Derek’s arms, almost afraid to breathe lest she break some spell and have the whole thing shatter apart. The warmth of him against her back, and the soft kisses he pressed to the nape of her neck were almost too wonderful to comprehend.
He still loved her!
Sighing, she nestled back against his thighs, and gave herself over to the bliss of the gentle nips and nibbles of his beautiful mouth. One of his hands slid down her arm, and he laced his fingers with hers.
“Tell me about your life,” he breathed in her ear. “I’ve missed so much, and I want to know about it.”
“Like what?” she asked, smiling at the sight of their intertwined hands.
“Tell me about Steve.”
Athena froze, all her muscles going rigid with shock. “You don’t want to hear about him.”
“The hell I don’t. He stole what was mine, and I want to hear about it.”
If only he knew just how much Steve had stolen of his, he would freak out. But he had asked; maybe it was finally time to tell him everything.
“You said you didn’t love him,” Derek continued. “Why did you marry him?”
Athena closed her eyes and used their linked hands to pull his arm tighter around her. “Convenience,” she said. “I married him because he was convenient, that’s all. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true. I already told you that I flipped out when Tina told me you were her fiancé, but I don’t think you realize how much I flipped out. I honestly think I went a little crazy. I mean, how else do you explain my decision to run off with him and join a commune in New Mexico after knowing him for precisely five minutes?”
“Are you serious? You knew him for five minutes?”
“Mm-hm.” The soft stroke of his thumb against the back of her hand gave her the courage to go on. “All I wanted was to run away from everything. I thought if I could just run, I’d stop feeling, stop thinking. Of course, that didn’t work. And that commune was probably – no, strike that; it was the worst place I could have gone. No running water, no electricity, no food. It was a nightmare.”
“Jesus Christ, Athena. Why did you go there of all places?” His warm lips against her neck took some of the sting out of his harsh tone.
“I didn’t know it would be like that when I said I’d go. The way Steve described it was this beautiful group of people all working together and sharing the profits. When we got out there, we discovered that their idea of working was panhandling in the towns nearest us, and going through whatever the groceries threw out to see if there was something edible. Of course, I was sick because of…because of the baby, but I had to get up really early once a month and hitchhike into town for my doctor appointments. And I had to leave early so I could go to a service station or somewhere that had warm water so I could take a sponge bath first.”
“You’re right, angel.” There was an odd note in his voice, and she wished she could see his face. “I don’t want to know.”
“No, you asked. And I want to tell you.” She wanted him to know just how things had been in the hope that maybe he wouldn’t lose his mind completely when she told him about Elizabeth. Maybe if he knew everything, he might understand. Maybe.
“All right, then,” he sighed. “I did ask, so go on.”
“Okay, about Steve. Even panhandling was too much like work for him, so when he found out we’d get a big government check if we were married and expecting a baby, he got this strange guy who called himself Sunbeam to marry us.” She shook her head at the memory. “For someone who went around spouting off about how the government shouldn’t intrude in the lives of the people, Steve was really quick to let a government check intrude into the mailbox each month. But anyway, this Sunbeam idiot came out to the commune to marry us.” Funny how she could look back on that time with such detachment when it had been the most miserable time of her life.
“I still didn’t give a damn what was going on, so I just let Steve plan it all out. But when we were standing there getting ready to be married, I looked over at Steve and I started crying. I looked over at him and he wasn’t you, and I just broke down.”
Derek buried his face in her hair and clutched her tighter. “How could I have been so stupid? I should have sold everything I had and come back here with you when you had to leave. Or I should have come when I didn’t hear from you. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t do anything about it.”
Athena rolled over to face him. “Derek, none of this is your fault. None of it. It was my own stupidity that got me into that situation. You’re not to blame in any way, and I’m not going to listen to you try to tell yourself you are.” She touched his cheek. “You can’t live your life thinking ‘What if?’ I’ve done it, and it doesn’t do a damn bit of good. I’ve even got my child thinking like that when we drive through Chickasaw Gardens in Memphis and look at the beautiful houses and say, ‘What if we had enough money to live here? Which house would we choose?’” She shook her head. “Even Elizabeth knows we’ll never be able to afford to live there, but we still do it. And when it’s all said and done, it just makes us miserable to dream something we know won’t come true. Same thing with you and me. We can’t change what we did or didn’t do back then, and there’s no sense in wasting time wishing we could.”
Derek brushed her hair from her forehead. “It still kills me to think of the things you had to go through.” A small smile touched his lips. “You’ve become a very strong woman, angel.”
Uncomfortable, she shrugged. “I don’t know about that. I just did what I had to do. The minute they handed Elizabeth to me in
the hospital, I knew I had to do better for her. There was no way I was going to let her grow up in that commune, so I told Steve that she and I were going back to Memphis. He could stay or come with us; I didn’t care.” Her lips twisted in derision. “Of course he came, because he didn’t want to lose that monthly check. The joke was on him, though, because as soon as we got back I got the job at the record shop and stopped all the assistance. He left right after that.”
Derek exhaled strongly. “So he left you alone with an infant. Great guy.”
“He was what he was. But, yeah. He left, and I haven’t heard from him since. As soon as it was clear he wasn’t coming back, I went to the courthouse to get the marriage annulled, but they wouldn’t let me do it because he wasn’t there to confirm that the marriage was never consummated. So I ended up filing for divorce. Got it, too.”
“What?” Derek raised up on one elbow and stared down at her, incredulous. “What do you mean it was never consummated? You had a baby.”
“I was already pregnant when we got married, remember?” Was this the opening she’d been looking for? Should she tell him just who it was that had gotten her pregnant?
“What kind of a man ignores his child for over six years?” His brows rushed together in an irritated frown. “It’s completely reprehensible.”
“Actually, there are circumstances that…”
“None of that matters, Athena. Don’t make excuses for someone like that, a man who just goes off and lives his life while you’re struggling to do everything on your own.”
No. No, not yet. Not while he was so riled up about Steve. “I didn’t do everything on my own. Andi and Walt bought Elizabeth’s food for almost a year. And up until last year my parents were paying for all her doctor visits because even if I wasn’t putting money into savings I still couldn’t afford it. I had help.”
“And when she got sick in the night, who was with you then? Who was helping you when you came home tired from work and had to care for her alone? When she started school?” A flush of anger stained his cheeks. “Her father should have been there, Athena, and I can’t forgive the fact that he wasn’t.”
Unable to look at him without bursting into tears, she closed her eyes. The next instant, soft kisses were placed on each of her eyelids.
“I’m sorry. I’ve upset you.”
“You didn’t. Really.”
“The last thing I ever want to do is upset you. I’m proud of what you’ve done by yourself, and proud of the woman you are.” He pressed a warm kiss on her lips. “I didn’t think I could love you more than I did seven years ago, but I do.”
Athena wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss. “I love you, too, Derek. I never stopped.”
“Neither did I,” he whispered. “And now that I’ve got you back, I’m not letting you go. In fact…” A hint of mischief entered his voice. “I’m not letting you leave this room for the next two days.”
Her eyes flew open. “But I have to go back to my room. There are things I need.”
“Like what?” A devious smile brought out the dimple in his left cheek.
“Well,” she floundered. “I need some more clothes.”
“Nope.” He kissed her ear. “You definitely don’t need clothes. I want you naked so I can look at that beautiful little body of yours whenever I want.”
“Oh.” A quiver began in her belly and spread down between her legs. “But I’ll need my toothbrush.”
“You can use mine.”
“Yuck.” She laughed under her breath. “And my birth control pills.”
Derek’s hand slid over her stomach and inched downward. “Oh, you’ll most assuredly need those.”
“I suppose so if you’re going to keep me in this bed for two days.”
“I said nothing about keeping you in the bed. I said the room.” His hand slipped between her legs, and he grinned at her. “I guess I should qualify that since this is a suite. But there are some chairs that I can’t wait to see you bent over.”
“Chairs.” Her breath came in small, shallow pants as his fingers drove her wild.
“Yes, chairs. And there’s a wall just over there that I’d love to see you spread-eagled against while I’m on my knees in front of you.”
“What exactly would you be doing on your knees?”
“I’ll think of something.” His eyes cut toward the closed curtains on the far side of the room. “And on the other side of those curtains is a balcony. I can’t wait to take you out there and let you fuck my brains out.”
“On the balcony? Derek!” She stared up at him with wide eyes.
Those blue eyes mimicked her shocked expression. “Athena!” Two of his fingers slid inside her and began to move with a slow, maddeningly good rhythm. “But I think we’ll start right here where we are. Then you can go get your pills. And your toothbrush if you’re quick about it.” He kissed her with pent up heat, and murmured against her lips. “Then I’m going to make love to you in all the ways I’ve dreamed of doing for years.”
He lifted his head and grinned at her before he started kissing his way down her body, and Athena forgot all about going to her own room.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
When Athena took the job as Wolf’s personal assistant, she thought the last week of the tour would be her busiest. Three concerts were scheduled at The Forum in Inglewood, California, and the band would be spending the entire week at the notorious Continental Hyatt House in Los Angeles. Not for nothing was this place referred to as the Riot House in rock circles. Bands loved it for its proximity to The Whiskey and The Rainbow, hot and cold running groupies, and management that didn't care what they did as long as the bill was paid – along with compensation for horrendous damages, of course. Athena was dreading the circus atmosphere, and what she feared would be a week of running her legs off. But when she mentioned this to Derek, he shook his head and laughed.
“Actually, this will be the easiest week you’ve had.” He took her hand and squeezed her fingers in reassurance. “We’re not as, er, active as some of the other bands, but the fans in L.A. are…” One shoulder rose and fell in a shrug. “Well, they’re different. They just sort of come round and make themselves at home. Anything we want, we can get it from them.”
Paul spoke up from across the aisle of the jet where he sat with Veronica. “He’s right, love. Even though things will be hopping, there won’t be much for you to do. Just sit back and enjoy it.”
Within moments of the band’s arrival at the hotel, people began showing up in a steady stream. It was like some rock ‘n roll bat signal was shining over the building calling the faithful to attend their idols, and they answered in spades. By the time Athena finished making sure all the bells and whistles the band requested were stocked in their rooms, she could barely squeeze her way down the hall.
She slipped into the room she shared with Derek, and leaned against the closed door for a moment, shaking her head. This was rock ‘n roll decadence at its finest, and she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt she wasn’t cut out for it. Not that she’d be experiencing it in the future; but the father of her child would. Her heart gave an uncomfortable thump at the thought, and she frowned, unsure how to handle it.
Pushing away from the door, she made her way into the bedroom where she found Derek coming out of the bathroom shirtless, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. That half-smile appeared when he got a good look at her.
“Interesting out there, is it?”
Athena made a sound of amusement. “That’s one way to describe it. Insanity is another.” She swung her carry-on bag from the floor and set it on the bed. Reaching in, she removed her toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, and a bottle of facial wash. “I’m not going out there again unless I have to. And neither are you,” she added over her shoulder as she went into the steamy bathroom.
Derek’s laughter lifted her spirits, but it was his words that warmed her heart. “Don’t want to. I have everything I need right here.”
Grinning, Athena placed her toiletries near the sink where they’d be handy when she needed them. She picked up a hand towel and wiped some of the fog from the mirror and sighed. Derek’s shower left the bathroom feeling like monsoon season on a tropical island, and her hair was already starting to develop frizz.
“Hey,” she called out. “Would you mind bringing my hairbrush in here? It’s in my carry on.”
“Just a sec.”
She pulled the hair tie from her ponytail, letting her hair down over her shoulders. It was past time for a trim, but she didn’t want to trust the job to some random beautician found in the phone book. It would have to wait until she got home, and she knew by then her hair would be almost unmanageable. She ran her fingers through it, and cast an eye at the reflection of the door in the mirror.
“Derek? Hairbrush?”
“I can’t find it. Are you sure it’s in here?”
“I thought it was.” She returned to the bedroom, a slight frown of confusion creasing her brow. “I may have put it in my purse.” She crossed behind Derek who was still rummaging in her carry-on bag, and picked up her purse from the chair where she’d slung it after they checked in. Opening the zipper, she peered in and saw the brush resting on top of the contents. “Here it is,” she sighed. “I guess I dropped it in here and forgot.”
“All right,” Derek replied. “What’s this?”
When Athena saw the red cover of Elizabeth’s photo book in his hands, her heart plummeted straight to her feet. Almost immediately it shot back up where it lodged in her throat, pounding with a furious tempo. Here it was, then; the moment she’d both anticipated and dreaded for weeks.
“It’s…” She stopped and cleared her throat in an effort to push her heart back down to her chest where it belonged. “It’s Elizabeth’s. She wanted me to bring it with me.”
Derek sat on the edge of the bed and raised a questioning brow. “May I look at it?”
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