by Evelyn Guy
“You go, now, Christine. Your mother and I
will be fine.”
“I need to stay with her. It is my fault. She
hasn’t been taking her medicine again. And, I was
so busy with my personal life that I didn’t even
realize it. It is all my fault that this happened.”
Christine was very distraught. She hovered in her
mother’s room, straightening things that didn’t need
straightening. She smoothed the bedclothes over
her mother, even though they were fine. She fidgeted with things all over the room. “I’m going to tell Richard to go on. I am not going to go and leave my mother like this. I should have been more aware of what was happening. I shouldn’t have been ignoring her. I just got too caught up in
my personal life.”
“Good. I am glad you got caught up in your
personal life. That is what you are supposed to do.
Remember our discussion of co-dependency?
How you blame yourself for things that are your
mother’s responsibility because you are being codependent?”
“Yes, but . . . ”
“No buts. Get out of here, go live your life,
and know that your mother has to live her own life.
She had people to help her, I am just next door,
and you help her as well. But, you can’t give up
living your own life for her. Now, get out of here
and go enjoy your evening with Richard.”
“He probably won’t even want to have
anything to do with me after seeing how Mom was
tonight. It is not a pretty sight. He really got a
glimpse of what it is truly like living with a mentally
ill person. He may have gotten a big enough taste
so that he won’t ever want to come around here
again. In fact, I will be surprised if he is even still
out there. He probably already left.” Christine was
trying to prepare herself in case he had indeed left,
or was going to make an excuse and run when she
got out there.
“He’s there. Now, get out there before he thinks you aren’t coming. Go, have fun.” Ms. Mabry pushed her out the door, shutting it behind
her.
“Is everything okay?” Richard asked, rushing
to Christine’s side. “Is your mom going to be okay?
Can I help?”
“No, everything is under control. Ms. Mabry is
very efficient. Mom has not been taking her
medicine as prescribed. She will be okay. I gave it
to her tonight, and I will just have to supervise her
taking it a little closer.” Christine tried to pass it off
about the seriousness of her mother’s condition.
She didn’t want Richard to stress over it too much.
However, she also knew she would have to talk to
him about it soon.
“That is a problem with people with
schizophrenia. Their medicines make them feel
really bad, so they don’t want to take them. Also,
when they feel better after taking them, they don’t
see the need to take them, so stop. Then, they get
bad again. It is a vicious cycle.”
Christine looked at Richard in amazement.
He seemed to know what he was talking about, as
if he had experienced it before.
“How . . . how do you know some much about
it? Does someone in your family have
schizophrenia?”
“No, but I have a very close friend that does.
We grew up together. He has been diagnosed for
about a year, but I knew even before he was
diagnosed that something was wrong.”
“Is he at school?” Christine hadn’t seen
anyone that Richard seemed especially close to. “No, he is in the hospital right now. He plans
to try college when he gets out. He needs to get
his medicines adjusted and get stabilized first. I
know what you are going through. I have helped
my friend through it in a way his family couldn’t.
They are having a hard time accepting it.” “I know,” Christine said quietly. “I really had a
hard time. I have been with my mother through it
all, but it is hard. My mother has had it as long as I
can remember. She really got the diagnosis when I
was a few months old. But, of course, I don’t
remember her prior to the diagnosis.”
“It must have been hard for you. It must still
be hard for you. But, you seem to be a very strong
person, and handle it very well.”
“You wouldn’t have said that a few months
ago. I do seem to have adjusted to it. But, I still
worry that I will get sick. That is why I wanted to
warn you about it. Now, you see how it can affect
a family. My mother is not a functional person right
now. I have to be the mother. If I get sick with it
after I get married, my husband or children will
have to take over. It is no live for a child. You
have to grow up fast when you have to be the adult
in the family.”
“I am sure. I am so sorry you have had it so
rough.” Richard moved over to her and lightly ran
his finger over her cheek, caressing the corner of
her mouth with his thumb. “I would never let one of our children take over the responsibility of the home. I would always be there for that. Not to say you will get sick, but if you did, I will be there always for you. Not only if you get schizophrenia, but whatever happens in our lives, I will always be there for you, if you let me. I love you, and you mean everything to me. I want to be in your life forever. I never want you to leave me, or me to
leave you. I want us to be a forever thing.” “What . . . what . . . are you . . . I mean . . . ?”
Christine couldn’t get the words out. She didn’t
want to assume too much, but it seemed that
Richard was proposing.
“I’m not very good at this, I guess. I’ve never
had any practice,” he said, laughing nervously.
“What I am trying to say is, would you . . . I mean . .
. can we . . . Uh . . . ” Now it was Richard’s time to
be too overwhelmed for words. “I am trying to . . .
”
“The answer is yes.”
“It is?” Richard seemed really surprised.
“You mean it? You would actually . . . ”
“Yes, if you are asking what I think you are.” “I am asking you to marry me.”
“Yes, yes, and a million times yes,” Christine
said, as they each reached to kiss the other at the
same time.
“Uh, I guess I interrupted at the wrong time.
Sorry.” Ms. Mabry rushed through the living room,
seemingly embarrassed at catching them in an
embrace. “Your mom is asleep. I’ll check on her later. Go do whatever you planned.” Ms. Mabry rushed to leave. Before she could completely
close the front door, Christine called out to her. “Ms. Mabry. Wait. We have something to
share with you.” Christine looked up at Richard
with stars in her eyes. He was gazing earnestly
down into her eyes. “We want to tell you that we
have decided to get married. We love each other.
Richard is not put off by my mother’s illness. He is
not afraid to take a chance on me.”
“Well, of course not, if he loves you.
Congratulations,
” Ms. Mabry said as she re-entered
the room. She hugged Christine tightly, then
turned to Richard to shake his hand, but changed
her mind and hugged him as well.
“Congratulations, you two. Now, get out of here
and celebrate.”
Richard and Christine left shortly, after Ms.
Mabry promised to look in on her mother a couple
of times throughout the evening. They went the
LaBambe and had a true sit-down gourmet meal.
They both had the prime rib, medium rare, roasted
new potatoes, Italian green beans, steaming
buttery yeast rolls, and Bananas Foster for dessert. They talked little over the meal, each lost in
their own thoughts. It was a comfortable silence,
though. It was as if they had been together for
years, and didn’t need to talk to each other to
understand each other. Christine felt very
confident in her assurance that Richard truly
understood how things were with her mother’s illness. She would from time to time reach out and place her hand over his. It was an intimacy brought about by trust and love. Christine couldn’t have been happier. However, she should also have been forewarned. Anytime she got comfortable with her life something always came along to upset it. This time would be no different. CHAPTER ELEVEN
Several weeks after her engagement to Richard, she was sitting at home studying and listening out for her mother to awaken.
Her mother had not rallied too well, even with being forced to take her medicines. Christine knew she would eventually have to go to the hospital, but she was trying to see if they could help her at home. It seemed her mother always had such a long period of time getting back to normal after being in the hospital, that she wanted to avoid that.
Ms. Mabry was helping her with her mother, and agreed they should try to keep her home if possible. Ms. Mabry had come over earlier while Christine was at work and had settled her mom for a nap. She was deep in her studies when the phone rang.
“Hello,” Christine said, only half-heartedly answering the phone. Richard was at work, and Ms. Mabry had just left a hour or so before, so she thought it was probably a sales call. She would get them off the phone as soon as possible. She was just glad they hadn’t wakened her mother.
“Is this Christine?” the voice on the other end asked, breathlessly.
“Yes. How can I help you?” It didn’t sound like a sales call. It sounded like a person in desperate need of help.
“You can’t help me, but I may be able to help you. But, you can’t tell anyone. You have to meet me, but not tell anyone. Especially Richard. Can you promise me that?”
“I don’t know. Who is this? What do you want?” Christine sensed that something was not right. She had a sudden vivid suspicion that her life was about to change forever. “I won’t meet you if you can’t tell me who you are.”
“I am Richard’s ex-wife. I have something important to tell you. You are about to make a serious mistake.” Christine’s legs went so weak she had to quickly sit on the sofa beside the phone.
“What do you mean, his ex-wife? He doesn’t have an ex-wife.” Richard had never mentioned being married before. True, he was five years older than she, and could well have been married. But, he never mentioned anything about it before. “What are you trying to pull? Who are you and what is your game?”
“Like I said, I am his ex-wife. I have to talk to you about something before you get married to him. Please, agree to meet with me. I promise I am not out to harm you, just to protect you.”
“How do I know you are legit? How do I know you are not trying to trick me?”
“Just meet me, then decide after you hear my story. I will meet you in a public place so you won’t have to worry about anything underhanded. I promise I just want to prevent anyone making the same mistakes I made. After I tell you how things are, then I will leave you alone. You can decide for yourself what you want to do about it. But, at least it will mean you are making an informed decision.”
They made an agreement to meet at the carousel in the mall. It was noisy, but there were booths there that they could sit at and talk. It was as private as a public place could be, since the noise around them would keep anyone else from overhearing. Christine agreed to meet her with great trepidation. She somehow sensed that there was something authentic about this person, but she just couldn’t bring herself to believe anything bad about Richard. She had already gone through one misunderstanding and resulting breakup with Allen, and she didn’t think she could bear another one with Richard. Maybe it was mistaken identity or something. Christine couldn’t believe he would keep something like an ex-wife from her. There must be some explanation other than what it seemed to be.
They met that evening. They had agreed to wear a red sweater, and also to have a name tag on with their first names only. That way, they could identify each other. Christine had no trouble in finding her. Her name was Eileen. She was sitting at a table at the edge of the carousel area. They moved in unspoken unison to a booth at the back of the area, where it wasn’t a little more private, and not quite so noisy.
“What is all this secrecy about? Why didn’t Richard tell me of you, if you are really his exwife?”
“I can’t let him know I am talking to you. He nearly destroyed my life and my brother’s life as well. I can’t let him know that I have contacted you. Please promise you won’t tell him.”
“I can’t promise to keep anything from him. I did that once. I lost someone very dear to me because I wasn’t open with him. I won’t repeat that mistake. But, I can’t believe Richard would keep your existence from me. We had a major discussion, many times, on honesty and candidness. Why did he not take the cue and tell me then?”
“He couldn’t tell you. He knows you would feel bad about him if he did. And, I can’t let him know I am talking to you because he could still cause us some trouble. My brother, my mother and I all deal with his deception and treachery every day.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t understand.”
“Your mother has schizophrenia, right?”
“Yes, but what . . . ” Christine began, puzzled about how she knew, and what it had to do with their discussion.
“Hear me out. I am only doing this to prevent anyone else from bearing the hurt we have done. My brother also has schizophrenia. He is five years older than I am. He is doing well now, but Richard almost cost him his life.”
“How? What did he do? How did he have anything to do with it, and with you? I don’t understand at all, but I am not sure I should even be talking to you. I mean, I don’t know you, and you’re sitting here trying to destroy Richard’s credibility.”
“He did that himself. Just hear me out. Let me tell you my whole story. Then, you can make your own judgements. I will be gone, and you can do what you want to with the information. But, I have to, in good conscience, tell you what happened. Can you please just listen and let me tell you the whole story? Can you agree to that?”
“Okay, I will. But, I still don’t understand.”
“You will. It is a short but vivid event. My brother, James, has schizophrenia. He was diagnosed with it when he was eighteen. Richard and I had not met at the time. James had to go to the hospital. He was going pretty often at that time. Richard was working in the hospital gift shop through the school Community Work Program. I met him when I went in to buy some things for my brother. He started talking to me and seemed really interested in me. I was not used to that, because most people were turned off by my brother’s illness. I didn’t have many friends, and had never really had many dates. I had never had anyone get serious about me. After they met my brother, they all just seemed to disappear.”
Christine could identify with that. She was pretty much a loner because of that very fact. People knew a mental illness wasn’t contagious, but it was pretty embarrassing
to them when her mother was acting strangely. She could just imagine how a young person would feel if dating someone with a family member acting strange. Allen and Richard were the only two she had ever really dated. Of course, Allen couldn’t handle her mother’s illness. Richard, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind.
“Richard wasn’t turned off by my brother’s strange behavior,” Eileen continued. “In fact, if anything he became more interested in me after he learned of my brother’s illness. He became close friends with my brother. He almost seemed more interested in him than in me. “
”After James got out of the hospital,” Eileen continued, “ Richard came by often and took him places. It was the first time James had ever really had a friend. He had never made friends much, and then when he developed schizophrenia, even the few that called themselves their friends stopped coming round. I couldn’t blame them. If James was in one of his moods, he would be very verbally abusive to them. They didn’t know how to take it, so they just stayed away. Soon, he had no one, until Richard came along.”
“Richard took all his abusiveness in stride. He would just speak calmly to James, and often was able to calm him down. He could get James to do many things we couldn’t, like take his medicine, bathe, and such. James would do anything for Richard. We were all so relieved that someone else could take over his care that we never even saw any danger signals.”
“What could be dangerous about that? He is very good with my mother. He can get her to do things that I can’t. She will always take her medicines for her, even when she is being so resistant about it. I can argue all day with her, then Richard will walk in and ask her one time to take them, and she will. She just loves him. How can that be bad?”
“That’s what we thought. We were just glad he could handle him. We often called him when James was getting out of control. He would come right over and get him in control very quickly. He kept us from having to hospitalize him several times. That was where we went wrong. We should never have let him get so much control over James. It was wrong, and it was our downfall. It was a bad thing for the whole family.”
Eileen stopped for a moment, suggesting they both get a soft drink before her continuing her story. It seemed to be hard for her to share whatever it was she was going to share. They got soft drinks and a hamburger from the Burger Shack there in the mall. Christine was eager to hear the rest, but also apprehensive with a foreboding she couldn’t explain.
