by Lisa Smartt
“Okay. I have a question. I noticed you haven’t called to tell your cousin that I’m comin’. Don’t you think you should let her know?”
“Uh, well, she knows you’re comin’. I mean, that you could be comin’.”
“Doug Jameson, you did that thing, didn’t you? You told her that if things went well, you’d invite me to stay the night. But if I looked like your Uncle Charlie, you’d just escort me to my car after a one-hour lunch? I’m surprised you didn’t ask her to call your cell phone at 1:00 and explain that there had been a grave family emergency.”
He was smiling like a sixth grader who’d been caught splashing water in the school bathroom. “Look, it seemed like a good plan at the time.”
“Oh, I understand. I can’t say I blame ya. I mean, after all, we’re talkin’ about a man whose drinking glasses are organized according to height, a man whose toothpaste tube is perfectly creased, a man who won’t wear pink. It’s no wonder you couldn’t take the risk, Doug. I’ll take it as a compliment that I got the invitation and just leave it at that.”
He pretended he was embarrassed. I pretended I was offended. But we both knew the truth. We were happy. Deliriously happy.
Dave and Shannon lived only fifteen minutes from the mall. It was an older middle-class suburban neighborhood that reminded me of where people always live on TV sitcoms. Not too wealthy. Not too poor. A neighborhood with kids on bikes and pansies out front and a few cats and dogs runnin’ across the street. A few houses needed new roofs. A few needed paint. But if the neighborhood could talk it would say, “People like living here. They stay warm and dry and they look out for each other.” On the fifteen-minute trip, Doug gave me the run down on Dave and Shannon. Shannon is Aunt Clarice’s daughter. Aunt Clarice is his mother’s sister who lives in Palm Springs, California, and has a dark tan, talks very loudly, and plays way too much bingo. Dave and Shannon lived in California too but moved to Chattanooga when he got a job as pastor of Grace Community Church. Married three years. No kids. Shannon sells life insurance part time. I was prepared. I wondered what they knew about me.
We rang the doorbell and then Doug spoke loudly, “It’s just us!”
Dave opened the door and hugged Doug. It was one of those hugs that said, “We’re fraternity brothers and our team just won the big game.” Lots of slapping and hitting on the arm and physical touch. I put out my hand and he shook it briskly and said, “Carlie, it’s so great to meet you. Doug has told us a lot about you. We can’t wait to get to know you.”
“It’s great to meet you too, Dave.” Dave looked like an all-American football player who sidelined as a movie star. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big friendly smile. But he wasn’t pretentious. He opened the door in his sock feet. His big toe was sticking out of a large hole in his right sock. And he seemed okay with that.
“Shannon, they’re here! She’s trying to get the rolls in the oven. She’ll be here in a sec. You’re lookin’ good, Doug. Bank business must be good…that…or somethin’ else is goin’ well.” Dave winked at me and smiled and I knew that Doug had told them about the e-mails and the phone calls. They were in the know.
Shannon almost ran into the living room and gave me a hug as though she’d never even considered shaking my hand, “Oh Carlie, I’m so happy! I’m glad you could come! We’re just so tickled to meet you. Doug thinks you’re awesome but you already know that, I’m sure.”
“Oh, I think he’s pretty great too.”
Shannon looked almost exactly like Jeanie Parker, the head cheerleader in my high school (Go Bulldogs). A Jennifer Lopez look-a-like, she was perfect. But it was like Shannon never got the memo telling her how perfect she was. She seemed happy being one of us regular mortals.
“Okay, everyone, dinner will be out in a few minutes. Tell us all about what you guys have done today. I know you were meeting at Cracker Barrel at noon. I’m guessing it was really scary when you first met each other. Oh Carlie, were you scared to death? I would have been about to pass out!”
“It was pretty unnerving. I guess confession is good for the soul. I was in my car waiting when I saw Doug walk up to the rocking chairs. I sat there for at least five minutes trying to get up the courage to get out of the car.”
Dave chimed in, “Look, Carlie, if I saw Doug for the first time…it would take me a while to get up the courage to get out of the car too! I might have just driven back to Georgia.”
Doug smiled and said, “She’s here, isn’t she?”
“Dinner’s ready, guys. Carlie, come on in and I’ll show you to your place.”
The table was set beautifully but not over-the-top-I’m-better-than-you ridiculous. The salad was crisp. The lasagna tasted like the lasagna from that little Italian place in Athens, and the company was beyond enjoyable. Never a moment of uncomfortable silence. Dave kept us all in stitches.
“Carlie, there are things Doug hasn’t told you. But that’s why it’s good you came here so that you don’t have to be in the dark any longer. Okay, where to start? Well, he hates dumb girls. This is one of his rules. He has rules just like that rule book that came out for girls a few years back. It seems like a lot of people have tried to fix him up with dumb girls and the minute the girl says, ‘Like, I was so totally goin’ to the tanning bed today but I couldn’t remember where the tanning salon was located and I was like, Oh my gosh, I’m like totally gonna be totally too white to show my face in public’ well, Doug checks out then and starts checkin’ football scores on his I-phone. Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, did you know about him being a neat freak? Yeah, you need to know that. I’m talkin’ shoes lined up perfectly in the floor of his closet. I’m talkin’ silverware drawer without a crumb in it.”
“Hey! You’re not so bright, Dave. She figured that one out all by herself today…without me even tellin’ her…somethin’ about me askin’ if she wanted to develop a shopping plan. From that statement she completely had me pegged. I mean, told me what my kitchen cabinets were like, the whole nine yards.”
“Okay, she seems to be unusually perceptive. We can check ‘not dumb’ off of Doug’s check list. Let’s go on to another one…”
“Dave, take a break, Honey. It’s time for cookies and coffee. Let’s go to the living room. Carlie, he’s not usually this bad. He just loves Doug and Doug’s such a sweet guy, he makes a pretty easy target.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. Besides, I need to know about these rules, don’t I?” I laughed along with the rest of them but I really did want to know about Doug’s standards. There would be time later. I had a feeling there was a lot that Shannon could tell me, things she wasn’t letting go of right now.
After three rounds of Pictionary (Dave and Shannon were unbeatable) and hours of conversation, time had crept up on all of us. Dave finally said it out loud, “It’s after 11:00. We better hit the hay. Big day tomorrow. Carlie, again, we’re just so proud to have you here. You’re definitely okay in my book…not that Doug cares anything about my opinion.” Doug patted him on the back again in that fraternal way. Their relationship was sweet, but in a masculine way. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen anything like it.
Dave was fun but Shannon kept everyone feeling loved and cared for. They were perfect for each other. “Carlie, let me show you to your room. There’s a bathroom right down the hall with fresh towels. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything at all. Just knock on our door. I’ll have muffins and coffee ready at 8:00, but breakfast is come-and-go so sleep as long as you want. Dave usually leaves for church real early, but the rest of us can leave at 9:30. Is there anything you need? Anything at all?”
“Shannon, really, thank you…I mean, it’s just been wonderful meeting you and Dave. The dinner was delicious. The room looks great. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”
“Well, a friend of Doug’s is a friend of ours. Or…uh…I guess you’re probably more than a friend and in that case, you’re really a friend of ours, Carlie. Good night, sleep tight!”
As I stepped into the room with the light blue carpet, Doug called my name, “Carlie, I got all your bags out of the truck and I’ll set ‘em on the rocking chair right here.” He walked into the room with such confidence. He didn’t hesitate at all or seem uncomfortable. But I knew he wouldn’t stay long. I knew that much about his character. I would have to speak quickly.
“Doug, it’s been a great day. Thank you. I don’t remember when I’ve laughed so much. It’s good for the soul.”
“Thanks for coming, Carlie. I’ve had fun too. You…well…you make everything…better.”
Standing in that room looking at him eye to eye, I desperately wanted to reach out and put my arms around him. I wanted to feel the green chamois shirt up next to me again. I wanted to tell him that I needed a man like him, that I wanted a man who would carry my bags in from the car and set them on the rocking chair, that I wouldn’t be bothered by his shoes being lined up perfectly in the closet. But of course, I said none of that.
“Sleep well, Doug. See you in the morning.” He walked out of the room but turned just as he got to the door.
“Yeah, you too. And for the record, I’m glad Uncle Stanley gave you my card. I owe him one.”
And at that moment he looked at me exactly the way he did when I wore the blue dress. His eyes were consuming me. I smiled and tried to look straight at him but felt a sudden onslaught of shyness. I looked down and simply said, “Good night.” I knew I would replay that moment at least a thousand times in my mind.
The room was simple and meticulously clean (runs in the family, maybe?). I walked down to the bathroom, washed my face, and then quickly snuck back to my room before anyone saw me without make-up. I would get up bright and early and shower and be completely dressed before 8:00. Doug and I had not known each other long enough to have the no-make-up meeting yet. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. The bed was comfy and the light blue sheets smelled like gardenias but a girl just can’t sleep in these circumstances. I knew he was right next door. If this had been a movie, he would have knocked on my door after everyone went to sleep. When I opened the door, he would have kissed me passionately. He would have stopped kissing me only long enough to say, “Carlie, I want you. I need you.” But I knew for absolute certain that Doug Jameson wasn’t going to knock on my door. He wasn’t going to kiss me passionately. He wasn’t going to tell me that he wanted me. Not tonight anyway. That knowledge made me happy inside.
October 30 11:50 pm DOUG
I wonder if she’s sleeping. I wish she didn’t live in Georgia. Today went well. She laughed when I told my prom story. She seemed impressed with my job. She’s beautiful. I can’t sleep.
CHAPTER FIVE: When Tragedy Strikes
CARLIE
October 31
My cell phone alarm went off at 6:00 am. I jumped out of bed like I was going to a fire. Happy to be alive. Happy to be in Chattanooga. Happy that Doug Jameson was sleeping peacefully next door. I tiptoed to the bathroom and showered quickly. I then put my pajamas back on and tiptoed back to the room with the light blue carpet. Applying moisturizer and make-up became priority one. As I looked into the mirror, I thanked God for the way Doug saw me, the way he looked at me. God had rendered a miracle. I was grateful.
At 8:00 I was completely ready. Black dress pants, pink sweater, hair and make-up done. I wondered if Doug would give me that look again. I wondered what it would be like to sit with him in a regular kitchen and drink coffee and eat muffins. I couldn’t wait to find out.
When I entered the kitchen Shannon was wearing a bright purple terrycloth robe and pulling blueberry muffins from the oven. But something wasn’t right. When she turned to face me, I saw the tears. Her eyes were puffy. She looked like she had been hit by a bus.
“Shannon, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
Tears flowed freely, “Oh Carlie, no! Everything is not okay. It’s Aunt Susan, Doug’s Mom. Doug’s not here.” She looked at the clock on the oven, “He’s probably back home by now. I’m so sorry, Carlie. I’m truly sorry! It all happened so fast!”
“What happened, Shannon? What do you mean Doug’s back home? What happened to his mom?”
Shannon pointed to the chairs and said, “I think we need coffee, Carlie.”
“Agreed.”
She sat two cups of coffee on the table. She got up from the table to retrieve a container of vanilla creamer from the fridge. Even in grief, she was hosting me.
“Okay. What we know right now is kinda sketchy. It was all so crazy when we got the call. At about 1:00 this morning, a friend of Aunt Susan’s called trying to find Doug. If I understand the story right, Aunt Susan was supposed to be at Charlene’s birthday party Saturday night. Charlene is the Rockfords’ daughter. Anyway, Aunt Susan was supposed to bring potato salad and sweet tea and she acted like she was happy about it, really lookin’ forward to the party. When she didn’t show up at the party, Aunt Charlotte (her sister) tried to call the house but she didn’t answer. Thankfully, at 10:30 Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Bart went over to the house. The lights were all on but Aunt Susan wouldn’t answer the door. Uncle Bart knew where the spare key was. When they found her, she was all dressed for the party but passed out on the bed. She took too much medication. The doctor gave her pills to help her sleep but she took the whole bottle. They called 911 but when they arrived…oh Carlie, she was already gone!” Shannon began sobbing again as I handed her a Kleenex from the counter. I hugged her real tight and started weeping myself. Doug’s mom was dead? That couldn’t be. He was just over there putting shelving in the shed. She just fixed him up a few weeks ago with the girl from the electric company. I’d never even gotten a chance to meet her. And poor Doug. His grandparents were gone. And now both his mom and dad were dead. No brothers and sisters. He must feel completely alone.
“Shannon, I’m in shock! I mean, I want to do something to help but I’m not sure what to do. When did he leave? Was he okay to drive?”
“Of course, when the phone rang at that hour, I knew there was trouble. There’s an older lady in our church who’s been terribly ill and I thought it was bad news about Norma. But when they asked for Doug, I couldn’t imagine what had happened. He started crying uncontrollably when he got the news. He kept saying, ‘It must have been an accidental overdose.’ But Carlie, it doesn’t look like it could have been an accident, I mean not what we know right now. Dave hugged him and prayed for him. All of us were in shock. Aunt Susan has never had any emotional problems, none that we knew of. Dave insisted that Doug not drive back to Sharon alone. But, of course, Doug said, ‘Dave, you have a sermon to give this mornin’ and you need to give it. I’m okay to drive. Aunt Charlotte will meet me at the house. Please don’t worry. Take good care of Carlie and tell her that I’m sorry I had to leave.’”
“He could have knocked on the door. I wouldn’t have minded.”
“We tried to tell him that. We said, ‘Maybe Carlie could be a help to you, Doug. Don’t be afraid to tell her.’ But he was completely torn up and said that it was best for you to sleep. Plus, he wanted to get on the road. He left here around 2:30.”
“I’m…I mean, I don’t even know what to say, Shannon. Doug said she was missing his dad, but I never got any indication that…well, things were…”
“Oh no. None of us knew. Doug said he had no clue she was in any real danger. He kept saying, ‘Why didn’t she come to me? Why didn’t she call me? I could have helped.’ I think she just had a bad night. She and Uncle James always loved going to family gatherings. I think this birthday party for Charlene just reminded her how much she missed him, how much she hated being alone. When she was supposed to leave, it just got to her and she snapped. I don’t think she planned it. I don’t think she even thought through all the pain it would cause. She missed Uncle James. She wanted to be with him. She lost her emotional balance and stopped thinking straight. Oh, Carlie, we feel for Doug. She was all he had left in the way of immediate family. Truth is, she would have never done anythi
ng to hurt him.”
“I know. I want to help but I’m not sure how. Are you and Dave going up for the funeral?”
“We’re leaving right after lunch. Dave will announce today that he’ll be gone a few days. Doug will need us right now. He and Dave have always had a special bond. They’ve only known each other five years but they’re a lot alike. Neither of them had siblings and I think they just decided to be like brothers. And they are. We think the world of him, Carlie. You know that.”
“Yeah, I love the way you all seem to genuinely like each other. And yes…I think the world of him too…even though I don’t know him very well. I need to go home today, Shannon. But I wanna go to the funeral. I’ll have to talk to my professors and the people at work and I’ll need you to keep me posted about the arrangements.”
“Oh, we can do that. It may be a few days before the funeral because I’m sure there’ll be an autopsy…uh, under the circumstances. Please feel free to stay for church and lunch. We’ve so enjoyed meeting you and we’d love for you to stay a while longer.”
“I can definitely do that. Plus, I’ve always wanted to hear a sermon by someone who can draw a triceratops with such incredible detail.”
“We need your humor right now, Carlie. Maybe your visit had a greater purpose than you even understood. Dave left for church at 7:30 and I’m sorry but I need to pack our things for the trip. Feel free to have muffins and coffee and if there’s anything else you need, I’ll be in our room. Again…I’m glad you’re here, Carlie.”
Church was exactly like I pictured it. About 150 people in an ordinary looking building. Some wore jeans. Others wore dress clothes. Many friendly people introduced themselves to me and it was complicated to explain why I was there, how I knew Dave and Shannon, how I knew them without really knowing them. Shannon had a rare people gift. When someone introduced themselves to me, she would put her arm around me, jump in and say, “Oh, Marlene, it’s kind of a sad story. My favorite cousin, Doug, was here to have some special time with Carlie. She’s from Commerce, Georgia. But we got news this morning that his mother died. So he had to return home and Carlie was thankfully able to stay with us this morning.” She gave me another big squeeze on the arm.
